Often, the idea of conventional therapy isn't an option for us; either because we're uncomfortable with the concept of talking to a random stranger, or simply because the way our bank account is set-up, it just won't work. However, we all need some type of assistance on this journey we are taking through life. More and more millennial women are seeking nontraditional methods for healing, so color therapy shouldn't be too far off the spectrum to help assist us back to the road of being whole all by our lonesome.
Sometimes having an alternative to turn to outside of your friends, family or bae is necessary. We know through meditation that each chakra is associated with a different color and all have different healing properties. My spiritual girls and hippies agree that balancing your chakras is damn near just as important as keeping that pH balance in check, honey. They are both very necessary in order to keep the peace, literally and figuratively.
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Contrary to what most may believe, color is associated with literally everything we do. Rather you're describing the way you feel, visualizing a moment, or expressing a mood, we use color to identify a variety of different things. We are unconsciously identifying our moods with color. The color we describe correlates with how we think it matches our mood.
Color therapy, also known as chromotherapy, dates back well-beyond Western civilization's use of it, or shall I say, lack thereof. It's dated back as far as 2000 years ago with usage in places like Egypt, Greece, and China. It's a natural healing agent that can bring balance, stimulation, peace and harmony to an array of areas, including but not limited to our psychological state of mind, physical elements, home, work environments, and of course, good ol' sexual healing.
There are various ways to incorporate color therapy into our everyday lives. Try these easy techniques that you can use on a regular basis to help you on that healing journey, Queen:
- Candles: targets two of our major senses, scent and sight
- Lighting: using colored light bulbs/filters are good for changing your mood and great for meditative visualization
- Crystals: can be used as a form of protection; they can be worn, carried, or placed in a special spot to bring about alignment in certain elements of our life
- Colored Flash Cards: great for mantras, setting intentions and visualization techniques that can help with staying in check
- Bathing: colored baths are great for cleansing and balancing your chakras and aura
- Food/Water: pairing the right things to eat are great for clearing/healing our energy centers
Knowing what colors correlate with what elements in our physical, mental, and spiritual realm could really help us in the areas of our life that are often blocked, feeling stagnant, or just plain-out need to be balanced.
And don't worry, I've got you covered below on what colors work for what:
Red (Base of Spine)
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Red is the color of stimulation. Its healing properties are good for helping with the flow of things, moving blood through the body, grounding and also alleviation of depression.
Orange (Under Navel)
Orange is the color of creativity/sexuality. If you are ever feeling blocked in these areas, this is your go-to. It's an immune-boosting aid and also a great color for assisting in unblocking stomach and intestinal problems.
Yellow (Above Navel)
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Yellow is known for its detoxifying qualities. It has invigorating properties that help with clearing your mind and body control. It's associated with having power. It's a great color to incorporate when your gastrointestinal tract is out of whack.
Green (Heart)
Green is the color of balance. It holds harmonizing properties. It's also the color associated with love and the heart. Its properties are great for creating equilibrium in all areas of your life. Your health and nervous benefits from the color green.
Blue (Throat)
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Blue is the color associated with communication. It has soothing properties and is great for calming and cooling the nervous system. If your blood pressure is high, blue can help to bring you back down to a calmer state of being. When your ears, nose, and throat are a little out of touch, align yourself with something blue to help get you back on track.
Purple/Violet (Center of Forehead)
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Purple and violet are known for their reasoning qualities. This color has strong cleansing properties that align with our higher perception and decision-making. If you have a hard time trying to understand something occurring, put some purple or violet in rotation to help alleviate that feeling. This color is great for alleviating anxiety.
White (Top of Head)
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White is the equalizer of all colors. It has strengthening powers. If you are looking for peace and tranquility, white is the color in aiding you to that state of mind. It's great for stabilizing all areas of the nervous system. This color can be used to assist in the balancing of all areas of both physical and mental.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
The Key To Balancing Your Energy Might Be Aromatherapy
Opening Your 7 Chakras Can Transform Your Mind, Body & Spirit
Unlock Your Coochie Chakra: What You Need To Know About Wands
The Power Of Connecting Energetically To Your Yoni
Featured image by Shutterstock.
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The experience goes beyond a typical college reunion; HBCU Homecoming is a family reunion, a fashion show, a cultural festival, and a week-long turn-up that embodies what it means to be unapologetically Black and educated. For HBCU alumni, the journey back to the yard each year is rooted in a love and pride that’s hard to put into words but impossible to deny.
From statement pieces to tech must-haves, every item represents the intersection of Black pride and HBCU love, ensuring that you show up to the yard in style and with intention. So whether you’re repping your alma mater for the first time since graduation or looking for fresh pieces to express your HBCU pride, these essentials will have you standing out, because, at HBCU Homecoming, it’s not just about showing up—it’s about showing out.
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diarrablu Jant Pants in Alia Noir
High-waisted, wide-legged, and ready to shut down the yard, the Jant Pants by diarrablu bring a whole new meaning to campus chic. Handcrafted in Dakar, Senegal, these free-flowing jacquard pants are perfect for stepping onto the yard with style and ease—making them a must-have for any HBCU alum’s closet.
Silver & Riley Convertible Executive Leather Bag Classic Size in Olive
This all-in-one luxury bag isn’t a bestseller for nothing. The Silver & Riley essential is made of Italian calfskin leather and thoughtfully designed, as it can be worn in four different ways: a shoulder bag, crossbody, a top handle, and a backpack. Chic and elegant, the Convertible Executive Leather bag is “the bag that every woman needs in her collection.”
Renowned Women's Intuition Cotton Graphic T-Shirt
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Mifland Million M Mesh Crop Shirt
Talk about bold, the Million M Mesh Crop Shirt combines edgy style with comfort, featuring Mifland’s signature print on a semi-see-through mesh fabric. Show up and show out in sophisticated flair.
HBCU Love FUBU
Melanin Is Life Melanated & Educated - I Love My HBCU Hoodie
Show off your HBCU love with this piece that represents everything you gained from your alma mater: a top-tier education, a community that lifts you up, and a deep sense of esteem for yourself and your culture. Wear it loud and proud, because being melanated and educated isn’t just a flex—it’s a legacy.
HBCU Culture Spelmanite Sweatshirt in Navy
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Anker iPhone 16 Portable Charger, Nano Power Bank
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Wisdom Frame 14 Square Sunglasses
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Coco and Breezy Eyewear Fortune in Gray Turquoise
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Mifland Standard Rucksack Mini
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Slip Pure Silk Sleep Mask in Pink
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Black Girl Magic Glass Cup
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54 Thrones Ivorian Cocoa + Ghanaian Coconut Beauty Butter
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Saie Glossybounce Hydrating Lip Oil
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Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image by Visual Vic/Getty Images
The other was binge-watching Insecure. Y’all, Molly really wore me out (if you know you know), yet that really was such a well-done show; going back and experiencing it all over again solidifies that as a fact for me (especially the music. Salute).
Anyway, if you were a diehard fan, you may recall the last episode of the second season of Insecure, where Issa, Molly, and Lawrence each had some growth and ah-ha moments that were featured. Towards the end of it, Issa imagined Lawrence proposing, and the song that played in the background was Daniel Caesar’s “Blessed.”
In the bridge, he continues to say, “I’m coming back home to you…I’m coming home” — and that got me to thinking about the many times when someone has actually asked me how they can know if someone shows the outstanding potential of being “their one.” Oftentimes, my answer has been that it’s when you feel as if they are home for you.
A home isn’t just a place of residence. As you’re about to see, in just a moment, a home means so much more than that. So, if you’re looking for signs and/or confirmation that your heart has indeed found its own home in the form of a partner, keep the quote by American journalist Helen Rowland in mind (“Home is any four walls that enclose the right person.”) as I try to provide a bit of clarity for you.
Like Luther Once Sang, "A House Is Not a Home."
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I don’t know about you, but I can’t believe that next year marks the 20th year of when R&B singer Luther Vandross died. Keeping that in mind, I guess it’s fitting that a documentary about his life will be coming out this season. And although I think my all-time favorite song by him is “For You to Love” (the real ones know), it’s undeniable that one of his classics is “A House Is Not a Home.”
A chair is still a chair, even when there's no one sittin' there
But a chair is not a house and a house is not a home
When there's no one there to hold you tight
And no one there you can kiss goodnight
Now, before going deeper, as a single woman whose own mother said that my place (that burned down a few years back) was quite cozy (I have made sure to replicate that feeling in my new space, too), I will be the first to say that you can cultivate a home environment even if you don’t have a bae. In fact, so long as you love yourself and it’s genuine, you will always be in great company, even if no one else is around you.
However, for the sake of today’s topic, I am going to focus on romantic relationships — and yes, a home is a lot more homey (comfortable, pleasant, restful) when you’ve got someone who truly loves you to share your space with.
That’s a part of the reason why this crazy ass transactional dating era that we are currently in is so, hell, I’m gonna go with the word “vile” to me. If you ask me, obsessing over choosing an individual who can’t — or won’t — do much more than give you a lot of things low-key sounds like someone who struggles with having a scarcity mindset.
Although one way that a scarcity mindset manifests itself in relationships is by settling just so that you can have someone in your life, the other side of the coin is you’re so focused on avoiding (or getting out of) lack that it consumes you and so, in relationships, you can’t seem to really build anything solid because all you want to make sure of is you have a lot of…stuff.
This is exactly how many people in relationships end up with a nice house, and yet they still feel very lonely because there isn’t a true connection. And so, as a direct result, their house never really ends up feeling like it’s an actual home — the place where someone can (definitions of home) feel “at ease,” “at rest” and (dig this one) “in one’s element.”
In one’s element. How dope is that? I say that because, if you look at the Merriam-Webster Dictionary definition of in one’s element, it means that you are “in a place or situation where one is comfortable and does well.” Did you catch that?
Although I will be the first to say that rom-coms need to be embraced with balance, whenever you hear a character say that someone is their home, whether they realize it or not, they are saying that their relationship with that individual provides a dynamic when they are able to feel completely comfortable, so that they are able to do well — to flourish, to grow, to thrive. Can a house do this? Eh. Can a home? Definitely.
So yeah, if you’re going to give someone the distinct honor and pleasure of calling them “your home,” what you’re basically saying is they have an uncanny way of making you feel completely comfortable (content, undisturbed, healthy, happy, pleased, relaxed and satisfied) AND that they seem to cultivate an environment that helps you to truly succeed.
So…if you are currently seeing or are with someone, can you honestly give them the title of being your home? And, if you’re not in a relationship (yet you want to be), do you have a standard of not settling until you can fully and honestly call someone…your home?
Let’s keep going…
A Sanctuary Maker Is a Top-Tier Woman
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I have plans for the term “sanctuary maker,” so much so that I have several T-shirts, hoodies, and pieces of jewelry with the phrase on it. The backstory is, that I’ve always been fond of seeing a woman as a sanctuary ever since an ex-boyfriend introduced me to the concept of setting the standard of requiring that in a relationship.
What I mean by that is, that he used to tell me that a woman should be her man’s sanctuary — and I have absolutely no problem with that. Because I am a complementarian, especially in a marital setting, if a man is providing and protecting, a woman being a place of refuge (which is what a sanctuary is), seems like a beautiful complement.
I especially dig this as a Black woman because, by definition, both a home and a sanctuary are a place of refuge, and refuge is all about being “shelter or protection from danger, trouble, etc.” and “anything to which one has recourse for aid, relief, or escape.”
I mean, all you need to do is read articles like The Guardian’s “'It’s like we're seen as animals': black men on their vulnerability and resilience” or The Vox’s “Study: people see black men as larger and more threatening than similarly sized white men” and get that it’s not an exaggeration that Black American men are in their own war zone whenever they step out of their front door; that’s why, to me, if there is any place where they should feel completely at ease, it’s in their house…a place that we, as women, have an impeccable way of being able to turn into a home.
This is actually a huge part of the reason why I tracked down Christiana Sabino and wrote her love story earlier this year (check out “Viral Sensation Christiana Sabino Is Using 'Pure Black Love' To Build Her Brand”) — if you’re familiar with her platform,she features videos with soothing music where she’s nurturing her partner. He provides. She nurtures.
Together, they invite us into a sacred space that says, “We can’t control what happens outside of these walls, yet we certainly can determine what goes on within them” and what they display is such a calm, tranquil, beautiful…sanctuary. Who wouldn’t want to come home to a place and space that is similar to it?
For me, even as a single woman, I have a sanctuary. Soy scented candles. Twinkle lights. Cable knit blankets. Big throw pillows. Blackout curtains. Nature sounds. INTERNAL PEACE. My friends tease me about how much I like being at home — because it is indeed a home. A sanctuary. My own place of refuge. A self-cultivated space where I feel serene and safe…and I created all of it. Like I said, women can master this in a way that is truly incomparable. How could you not agree?
So, are you a sanctuary maker? If so, how? If not…why not?
If You Don’t Feel Completely Safe, in Every Way, You Ain’t at Home, Sis
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Did you peep how I said that my home is a place where I feel safe? I’m telling you, especially since around my early 30s, something that has become a big deal to me is only surrounding myself with people, places, things, and ideas that are SAFE.
Safe: secure from liability to harm, injury, danger, or risk; involving little or no risk of mishap, error, etc.; dependable or trustworthy
Synonyms: intact, protected, snug, cherished, guarded, maintained, preserved, shieled, tended, out of harm’s way, undamaged, unscathed
Recently, while reading an article on PEOPLE's website, actor Uzo Aduba said this about her husband: “He made me feel safe. I felt safe to be all of myself around him — not the best of myself, all of myself, my frailties, my vulnerabilities, my weak, ugly parts. I felt safe enough to show him that. And when he saw it, he still loved me. I never, and still never, doubted that he loved me.’”
I’ve got a girlfriend right now who can’t seem to let go of a guy who has revealed himself to be an unsafe person on so many levels. Interestingly enough, although she knows this to be true, whenever I point it out, she still finds herself defending him. Because they have a lot of time under their belts, we walked through the different “mile markers” to see if there was a pattern — and there was.
If he wasn’t in some type of drama, he was emotionally erratic, and if he wasn’t emotionally erratic, he was relationally unpredictable.
Does he love her? Based on what he knows about love, I'm sure that he does. Does she love him? Yes, although I wonder if it’s more of an addiction than anything at this point. Yet, is he a SAFE SPACE for her? Based on all of the definitions that I provided, how could he be? And if someone isn’t safe for and to you, how can they be your home?
Home is where, above almost anything else, you should feel holistically safe: physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, sexually, financially, relationally…safe. And that’s a big part of the reason why I agree with an Irish novelist by the name of Cecelia Ahern, who once said, “Home isn't a place, it’s a feeling.” If you don’t feel safe with someone, even if you love them, you are not at home. Or, if your house doesn’t feel safe, something is awry.
And sis, you deserve to feel safe — and your partner deserves to feel like they are safe around you. Not either or. BOTH.
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Is this a totally random topic? I mean, perhaps. Still, I hope that now that you’ve reached the end of it, you really do understand that a part of what comes with being in a functional, long-term loving relationship is you are able to declare, without any hesitancy or unsureness, that you can call your partner your “home” because they check all of the boxes that I just mentioned.
And what if they don’t? Well, ask yourself if they should be a part of your life in the way that they are. Because if they’re not your home, why are they “dwelling” with you? If they are not your refuge, your safe place, someone you can be at ease with, and a person who you can articulate where they are helping you to become a better person…why do they deserve to walk through your heart’s door?
Why consider them “home” when they actually…aren’t?
I mean…really.
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