Now that the summer season is officially here, hopefully, you’ve got some plans that will have you traveling more often and/or hanging out by some water and/or spending time with friends in the great outdoors. And while it’s always a great time when you can pull out your distressed jean shorts, super cute sandals, and big ass straw hats, let’s not act like the heat ain’t a mutha while the thought of putting on anything more than what is absolutely necessary is stressful as hell.
Especially when it comes to wearing makeup. When it’s hot ‘n sticky, who wants to have on a full face of stuff? The dilemma is, when you want to still look cute, how do you figure out what will give you a made-up face without you having to go through the drama of it feeling heavy on your skin or, worse, melting off due to the extreme heat?
If that’s what’s been crossing your mind lately, I hear you, and I’ve got you. During the season when less really is more as far as cosmetics go, here are some things that you can apply that will give you a makeup face without overdoing it in the process.
Rosemary Oil
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To anyone who will listen, if there is one skincare product that I will shout out for the rest of my life, it’s rosemary oil (well, that and sulfur soap). When it comes to helping to heal and prevent acne, keeping my skin hydrated, and giving my skin a natural glow, rosemary oil is that one. Not only that, but some skin experts say that it also helps to reduce inflammation, get rid of dark circles underneath the eyes, and soften the appearance of cellulite too.
Personally, I don’t use foundation, so I’ll just put on some rosemary oil and head on out the door. Yet even if you do, if you’re looking for a moisturizer that’s a great primer for your skin as well as the makeup you plan to apply to it or if you want an overnight oil so that your skin will be soft and smooth, the following morning, look no further than rosemary oil for your face and neck (don’t forget your neck, chile). You will not have one regret. Straight up.
Tinted Moisturizer
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If the main thing that stresses you out when it comes to wearing makeup in the heat is you don’t want it to smear or look “caked on,” or you would prefer a much sheerer and natural-looking end result, have you ever tried tinted moisturizer before? If not, it’s just what it sounds like, and the cool thing is, it can provide you with a bit of coverage without you looking like you have a full face of makeup on. Plus, it tends to offer a natural glow that works really well during the daytime hours.
Another awesome thing about this option is some tinted moisturizers come with SPF (sunscreen) already in them — and yes, this is a good thing because we melanated women need that kind of skin protection too (check out “Here Are 10 Black Girl-Friendly Sunscreens That Will Keep You Glowing This Spring”). By the way, Allure did you a solid by publishing “The 15 Best Tinted Moisturizers With Sunscreen That Smooth and Protect Skin.” It’s worth a skim when you get a chance.
Bronzer
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Back when I was shifting out of wearing foundation, something that worked like an absolute charm was bronzer. It gave me enough coverage to camouflage any blemishes that I wanted to smooth out while making my skin appear absolutely radiant at the same time. In fact, the only thing that I wasn’t super fond of when it came to bronzer was, I had to be careful not to get it on my clothes (or someone else's when I hugged them). But if you’re looking for something that will complement your skin, immaculately so, whenever you’re out in the summer sun, bronzer is what you’ve been looking for all of your life.
Another bonus with bronzer is it’s something that you can make yourself from the comfort and convenience of your own home; that way, you can be in complete control of the ingredients that you end up putting on your face (and possibly other parts of your body). If you want to go the all-natural route, a recipe is here. If you want to try a hack that combines a powder bronzer with a liquid primer, the YouTube video is here.
Eyebrow Gel
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At the time that I’m writing this, I am two days out from an eyebrow wax appointment. Something that I just shared with my waxer is how wild is it that your face can look like it’s been made up just by taming your brows — especially professionally. Well, something that can keep your eyebrows looking on point in between appointments is eyebrow gel. If you’re curious about which ones can withstand the summer heat, check out Byrdie’s article, “The 11 Best Eyebrow Hold Gels of 2023, Tested & Reviewed.”
Waterproof Mascara
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Recently, someone asked me if my eyelashes were real, and I didn’t know whether to be flattered or slightly triggered. LOL. The answer is “yes.” I was blessed with naturally long lashes; however, when I want them to be a bit thicker, I will apply some Jamaican black castor oil on them at night and then apply 2-3 coats (make sure to let them dry in between) of mascara during the day. Not any mascara either; it needs to be as black as black can get; plus, it needs to be waterproof. That way, I don’t have to worry about sweat causing them to smear.
Just make sure that you wash that stuff off before turning in at night. Some formulas are super thick and can actually cause your lashes to break if you’re not careful.
Lip Liner
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While perusing through Sephora not too long ago in search of a particular lip liner that I wanted, you should’ve seen the look on my face when an associate shared that lip liners are slowly being faded out. What in the world? Personally, I’m always gonna be a fan because, not only do they help to give my full lips some nice definition, but lip liners also help to keep lipstick in place for a longer period of time.
Personally, I don’t even wear lipstick that much, especially during the summer season. What I will do instead is line my lips with a liner and then fill them in with lip gloss. It gives a shearer look that still “pops.” Plus, I can enjoy my popsicles ‘n stuff in peace because, since all I had on was lip gloss, to begin with, I don’t have to worry about losing color while eating or drinking anything. Yeah, lip liners are bomb. Always have been, always will be.
Sparkling Lip Gloss
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Speaking of lip gloss, aside from the fact that it helps your lips to look (and feel) nice and hydrated, one of my (other) favorite things about it is it can keep your lips looking fuller and sexier from day into the night; especially if you get the kind that has some sort of glitter in it (perhaps like this one here or here). The way that this particular kind of lip gloss shimmers in the summer sun and by candlelight is truly unmatched — I can personally attest to that.
Shoot, you can even make your own sparkling gloss by adding some cosmetic glitter to a container of gloss that you’ve got. Or if you really wanna be a boss with yours, make your lip gloss totally from scratch. The YouTube videos here, here, and here can walk you through how to make that go down. Or, if you want to go the totally natural route, Kimspired DIY has a recipe that can get you right here.
DIY Shimmer Lotion
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Even though we’re mostly talking about makeup, because there is nothing more alluring than gorgeous skin, I did think it was important to give the rest of your body a bit of a shout-out too — and this is where shimmering body lotion comes in. Not only will it cause your skin to glow, but it also has a way of minimizing the appearance of blemishes as well. So, if body acne (or the scars that it can sometimes leave behind) is something that you’re worried about this summer, why not make a batch of your own shimmer lotion (or oil)? Some YouTube shorts that will show you how to DIY it are located here and here.
Bomb Ass Frames
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Okay, so what about the days when you honestly don’t want to do a damn thing? You’d be amazed what a pair of some bomb ass shades will do for you. Then all you’ve got to do is make sure your eyebrows are groomed, that you curl your lashes, that you put something on those lips of yours and you’re basically all set.
For the record, even eyeglasses have trends. According to InStyle, round frames, wired rims, and an upgraded cat-eye are all the rage right now. So are clear frames. Meanwhile, StyleCaster shouts out oversized frames and sporty wrap frames as far as trendy sunglasses go.
BONUS: Matte Makeup
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So, what if you’ve got a (pardon the pun) hot date coming up, and you want to apply some makeup, yet you just don’t want to pile it on? Your best bet would be to go with something that gives you a matte finish. That’s because matte is designed in a way that will help to absorb more sweat and oil. Plus, it helps to give your skin a smooth and even complexion. Just make sure to not overdo it by going all-matte. Mix things up a bit by avoiding a matte lipstick (go with a glossy finish instead) or adding some glitter eyeshadow…or the kind that is actually my next suggestion.
BONUS: Cream Eyeshadow
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Since it appears that white and pastel eyeshadows are trending big time this year, you definitely should get some cream eyeshadow if ramping up your eyes is totally your thing. The reason why cream eyeshadows are dope during the summer season is that they tend to not crease up and also last much longer — both are good to know since humidity likes to make makeup evaporate, often at the most inopportune moments.
For the record, one of the best things about cream eyeshadow is that it goes on pretty smoothly, even with your fingertips, so if you need to do quick touch-ups while you’re out at the beach, all you need is to pull out a compact from your big straw purse, and you’re good to go.
BONUS: Blotting Pampers
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For the love of all things summer and sane, definitely make sure to have some blotting papers in your possession. More than anything, they’re specifically designed to absorb excess oil. However, another bonus is, since many of them contain salicylic acid, using blotting papers on a consistent basis can also help to keep your pores clear, which can reduce the chances of you experiencing breakouts which is also a major win. Just make sure to go with eco-friendly ones if you can; they are biodegradable, which makes them good for the environment too. Now get out there and be gorgeous and great!
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Whether you're planning to meet a certain financial or fitness goal, or you're simply trying to maintain and build on the progress you made this year, having something to look forward to is always a good look. Setting actual goals, according to research, actually leads to more success than just playing things by ear. So here are a few to get you started, sis:
(Disclaimer: Not everything is for everyone, so do like my Granny always says: "Eat the meat. Spit out the bone." Take on five out of the 40 and focus on that for the remainder of the year, or do them all. Either way, this is just to get you started.)
40 Ways To End The Year Strong and Inspired
Money Moves
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1. Increase your retirement (or other savings/investment) contributions by 1%.
Experts have found that you could be leaving money on the table by not upping your contributions when you can.
2. Cancel two to five subscriptions.
You could be missing hundreds, even thousands, of dollars a year due to sneaky price hikes and "updates."
3. Create a "fun" in a high-yield savings account.
This is especially important if you struggle with the dreaded b-word (budget) and will make next year's efforts a lot less intimidating. Even if it's $10 a month, do it.
4. Put on your big-girl panties, and set up automatic transfers and payments for at least one bill.
It reduces the stress of managing bills, lessens the chance of a missed payment---and the fees that come with that---and there can be cost savings for doing so.
5. Invest in a cleaner or housekeeping service.
Bosses who value their time (and mental health) invest their dollars into areas where the time they'd spend doing those tasks themselves could be better used to focus on other money-making projects. (And yes, rest is part of that.) Get a housekeeper, sis, or drop off that laundry, even if it's once per month.
6. Donate to a charity.
Beyond the tax benefits, it's a win-win for the greater good of communities you care about.
7. Review your insurance policies and negotiate a better rate (or move on) before their end dates.
Experts often agree this is a small but mighty step to take each year, especially since insurance rates are competitive, you could be spending more money than you need to (or not enough) and your insurance rates can affect your mortgage payments.
8. Call your loan provider and refinance.
As interest rates fall, “millions of borrowers may be able to refinance and get more affordable payments. As interest rates eased down to 6.5%, about 2.5 million borrowers could already refinance and save at least 75 basis points (0.75%) on their interest rate,” the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau reports. You can also refinance student and other types of loans.
9. Stop buying individual items and stock up via going bulk.
Research has found that, among 30 common products, buying in bulk could save you 27% compared with buying in lower quantities. Water, paper products, and baby products like diapers, toiletries, and garbage bags are the top items where people see the most cost-effectiveness. (This has been a lifesaver for me—children, large family, or not—especially when it comes to toothpaste, deodorant, toilet paper, and feminine hygiene products, saving stress, time, and money.)
10. Go cash-only for the holidays.
If you set smart goals and stick to limits on things like gifts, going out to eat, or groceries, you'll see the benefits of this. Cash-stuffing is one method recommended, but something as simple as taking a $10 bill out for lunch, disabling that card for an hour, and leaving your card in a safe place at the office can give you that mindset jump start to see how far you can take your money without the need to splurge.
Love And Romance
11. Say "no."
There are clear mental and physical health benefits to saying no including the setting of healthy boundaries, creating time and energy for other self-care activities, and protecting yourself from physically harmful situations (i.e. unprotected sex or abuse). Just say it, clearly and simply, when you need to.
12. Set a fun, free, adults-only date night for once a week or twice a month with your spouse.
If busy, high-profile folk have touted the success of this, even you can make the time for quality time with your partner. And it's even better when it costs nothing. The best connections are made doing something chill, challenging, or outside the usual dinner-and-a-movie date. Play a game that allows you to reconnect, take a walk in your neighborhood to chat and laugh, or try a little erotic chocolate/edible liquid/paint episode a la Mea Culpa.
13. Go out with Mr. or Ms. "Not My Type."
I love my man, but if I were waiting out for my "type" at the time, we wouldn't be celebrating seven (going on eight) years together. Sometimes having strict, unrealistic expectations for a spouse (especially related to things like height, physical features, or career path) is what's keeping you alone and lonely.
Take the pressure off and explore all your options. I'm not telling you to stop popping the balloon on the guy who earns $20,000 less than you if that's a hard no that Jesus himself told you to skip. I'm asking you to explore other options and see what else God might have out there for your love journey.
14. Immediately apologize and pray together.
I've learned that always being "right" isn't always ideal when you truly care about someone and you're in a relationship for the long haul. Defaulting to an apology when necessary, even when things aren't 100% resolved, is a good way to prioritize peace and save your energy for more worthwhile battles. Research has even supported the benefits of apologies in relationships, and how couples married for five or more years do it often.
15. Get a Rose and discover true self-love.
Do I really have to explain this? You've gotta know what satisfies you, and how better to figure that out than to practice self-love in the bed by yourself? You can also try this with a partner, but as a woman who got on this train very much later in my sexual activity journey. I have a lot more learning to do on my own, and even in a satisfying relationship, I like to find out new things about myself, by myself.
Figure out what you're into, watch what you want to watch, and read what you want to read to define pleasure for yourself. There's a freedom and empowering element there especially if you're used to prioritizing pleasing your partner.
16. Be direct and have the "money talk" with bae.
Money issues are one of the leading causes of divorce, so you need to have those conversations before you even think about marrying someone. And true, nobody can predict the future so you won't be able to avoid some challenges altogether, however, talking with your potential spouse about how they view money, their spending habits, and the pain points in terms of their approach to money management can at least give you a glimpse into what's in store if you do walk down the aisle, move in with them, or decide to share a bank account/business/child with them.
17. Invest in the "paid" version of that dating app.
I know plenty of successful, married folk who did this and met "the one" as a result. Let's be honest: The free version is for playing around. I had a lot of fun with my "free" profile back in the day, trust me. Upgrade that photo, profile, and package, and see if the quality of your dating adventures changes when you're serious about finding a true partner. Dating coaches and matchmakers cosign this.
18. Solo travel to meet that long-distance connection.
Sometimes, your perfect match isn't within 100 miles of you, and that's okay. Make it an adventure, enjoy the memories, and book that ticket. I met my man this way and it's been a whirlwind escape ever since. If you're not comfortable traveling solo, travel or (network to plan travel) with a group via Facebook.
Career And Business
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19. Schedule coffee or virtual meetups with smart people from your graduating class, previous employer, or current employer.
I have gotten many freelance opportunities by doing this. It's as simple as connecting and offering value (or simply learning how you can better equip yourself to do so.) It's also a great way to expand your network, spark new friendships, or find out about new job opportunities.
20. Invest in a well-made suit.
I don't care what industry you're in, a suit says "power," and it's not as old-school or out-of-style as you'd think. Plus the whole experience of looking for a new one (or getting one tailored) is fun and affirming. Try these options. I swear, anytime I wear a blazer, I'm treated like a celebrity or boss, especially when traveling. I was once upgraded to first-class wearing a yellow blazer outfit, and the airline professional literally said, "You look like somebody important. Here you go."
21. Volunteer for a worthwhile project or cause that's important to your company.
If you're overworked and underappreciated, skip this one, but if you truly have the time, love what you do, and want to advance, this move is clutch. Volunteering for extra projects got me where I am today in media because I had foresight, and knew that was the only way at the time to leverage relationships, and I was able to challenge myself to learn skills that 20 years later are still bankable. That VP you can't get a meeting with will be at that gala your company is planning, so join that committee, sis.
22. Write down why you deserve a raise and ask for it in your next one-on-one.
Gather those receipts (ie sales increase numbers, KPIs met, deals closed, people acquired via recruitment, the impact of systems updates, or other tangible success metrics) and ask for that raise before the first or second-quarter budgets are being finalized.
23. Instead of quitting, write down your exit plan.
While revenge quitting is set to be a thing next year (and maybe you're among those who will be leading the trend), try the better boss move and quit with a real plan.
24. Start automatically separating that estimated self-employed quarterly tax estimate.
If you have side hustles (or you're collecting 1099 income,) baby, you do not want to neglect those quarter tax payments. Talk to a professional, do your research, and set up automatic transfers to an account specifically for paying these at the appropriate due dates.
25. Sign up for a free one- to 11-week course related to your industry—or the industry you want to be in next year.
Institutions like Harvard University and platforms like Coursera offer free courses that can enhance your skills. You can also invest in certificate courses with accredited colleges as well as tech training.
26. Hit "Easy Apply" for 10 dream jobs listed on LinkedIn.
While you shouldn't solely rely on this when actively job-seeking, using this convenient LinkedIn option is a great way to get into the habit of applying for positions. And if you're already employed, you should still be "dating" other employers if you're looking to make a move in the next six months. Keep your interview skills sharp, practice toughening up for the "nos," and get a bit of an ego boost in the process.
Self-Care And Wellness
27. Pre-schedule three month's worth of massages.
Oftentimes this is cost-effective since some spas offer deals for multiple bookings. Also, it makes an act of self-care deliberate and important, not an option. When you get that reminder call, you'll know it's real.
28. Fire that therapist and try another one.
Cultural competency in mental health support is one major problem that can hinder Black women from even bothering with therapy. And who wants the added stress of spending multiple, paid sessions explaining why something is a microaggression? Cut the cord and move on to try someone else, either via a Black women therapists channel or recommendations from others.
29. Join a small group at church.
Bedside service ain't gonna cut it and neither is going to the usual Sunday service. Join a smaller group and upgrade your efforts to connect, network, and elevate spiritually. Even if virtually, take a step to dig a bit deeper with more targeted Bible study and discussions.
30. Say no, even to loved ones.
This is on here twice, for a reason. Saying no is the simplest, most powerful micro-action you can take today to make 2025 better. No explanations. No guilt. Say no.
31. Choose one "luxury" beauty product for skincare and stick to it.
This was trending big on social, especially for millennials hitting their 40s. There's just something so freeing about not giving in to every trend and sticking to the basics that work, especially when there are quality, healthy ingredients involved. Put those orders on auto-renew.
32. Sign up for a new sport or fitness class just for fun, not for results.
It's great to be on a weight-loss or weight-lifting journey, but try something just for the fun of it. Switch things up with a couple of these fitness activities.
33. Book a staycation.
Leave the passport at home and explore a nearby community or another town in your state. There's so much enrichment in your own backyard right here in the U.S., and you don't even have to break the bank.
34. Pre-schedule your mammograms, Pap smear, and peri-menopause checkups for next year.
Take control of your health by pre-scheduling essential appointments like mammograms, Pap smears, and peri-menopause check-ups for 2025. Prioritizing these screenings early ensures you stay on top of your wellness and make time for self-care in the new year.
35. Cut off support of beauty and wellness professionals whose customer service is below standard.
This is another one that many Black women have been vocal about—from unrealistic pre-appointment requirements, to booking fees, to long waits, to unsavory in-salon experiences. Spot the red flags early, and just stop accommodating foolishness. Support salons or experienced stylists who are kind, have proper systems in place and value your time.
36. Schedule five to 10-minute moments of silence on your calendar.
Again, wellness is not optional, and if it's not on my calendar, it's not official. Sit quietly. Pray. Meditate. Or do nothing. The benefits of silent moments are almost endless.
37. Download a meditation app.
If you've found that meditation is difficult to schedule or to even start, an app can help. Try this, this, or this one, and take that step to embrace something new to enhance your wellness routine. If you're tired of downloading apps, create a playlist for meditation via Amazon Music or Spotify and schedule a reminder to do it once a day or week.
38. Invest in a healthy meal prep or delivery service.
Time is emotionally expensive, so save as much of it as possible. Getting into meal prep to keep to your goals is a great way to save time, stress, and effort. The health benefits of meal prepping have also been proven via research.
39. Create a positive playlist on Spotify, Amazon Music, YouTube, or other streaming platform.
It can be podcasts, music, affirmations, or somatic sounds. It's a game-changer. You can even set an alarm to wake you up to start your day with the positive playlist. Not into creating your own? There are plenty to choose from with a quick search.
40. Set up reminders for Alexa (Siri or other AI) to remind you, "You are loved," and "You are okay."
This simple effort can boost your endorphins and remind you that you're indeed, not alone, and you will be okay, regardless. To set mine up, I simply commanded, "Alexa, remind me everyday 'Jesus loves me,'" and like clockwork she does. She almost scared the ish out of me one day when I'd forgotten the reminder was active, but it was the reminder I needed when anxiety had gotten the best of me that week.
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Either way, we’re breaking down how to harness the alluring black cat energy to attract and cultivate your purrrfect match, or how to deepen your current relationship.
What is Black Cat Energy?
Black cat energy has made a splash all over TikTok since 2021 where users have popularized “the black cat/golden retriever” theory based on the notorious attributes of felines and pups.
Pet owners and those who have had the pleasure of engaging with furry friends know that cats tend to have personality traits of being more independent, cautious, and unbothered until they develop a relationship with you – then you’ll be graced with their loveable side – whereas dogs, much like golden retrievers, are often overly excited to see you, bursting with happy energy, and seeking your affection, even if they just met you.
Black cats especially possess an elusive, regal, and pompous vibe that makes them irresistible. You can’t simply win these mysterious creatures over with your mere presence. You’ll have to earn their affection.
And if by a stroke of luck, they open up to you, they’ll always keep you wanting more of them. That same je ne sais quoi is what TikTokers are raving about, claiming that if you channel black cat energy into your love life, you’ll summon the person of your dreams and make them fall in love with every part of you.
What’s more, according to The Spruce Pets, single women in Japan who own black cats are believed to attract more suitors. In parts of Great Britain, a black cat is the quintessential wedding gift because they’re believed to bring good luck and happiness to the bride.
Why the Black Cat/Golden Retriever Dynamic Works
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Anyone can be the black cat or the golden retriever in the relationship, but TikTokers and some relationship experts say the best way to ensure long-lasting compatibility is for the woman to be the black cat, while the man exudes golden retriever tendencies.
Dating coach Anwar White solidifies finding the yin to your yang, instructing women to find their complement. “Most people look to date their clone and you’re going to need to date looking for your compliment – that is what is going to bring you the most success.”
In the 14 years he’s been a dating coach, he shared the best complementary personalities that make for a good match. “If you’re a type A, boss babe, you’re going to be looking for the optimistic golden retriever guy. This is the guy that wants to get done whatever you want to get done. This is the engineer, the federal employee, or an architect. It’s very much black cat/golden retriever vibes.”
No matter what stage you’re at in your love life, it’s never too late to transition from subservient golden retriever to omnipotent black cat.
TikToker @jaclyn.dasilva explains that she used to be in her golden retriever energy in her marriage – catering to her husband, and what he needed and liked until she learned how to epitomize the black cat energy.
“We have this beautiful energy as women. When we learn to put all that beautiful, nurturing energy into ourselves that is when they want us. That is when they chase us. Now I think about what I want to eat. What do I want to drink? What book do I want to read? And I put my energy into myself.”
She continues, “And now he’s the one chasing me. He’s the one who can’t get enough of me. When we see ourselves as the prize, that is when he sees us as the prize. Stop chasing him. Let him chase you. Be about you, he’ll be about you.”
How To Embody The Black Cat Principles In Your Dating Life
Dating and maintaining a flourishing relationship in today’s technology-driven world is no easy feat. We have abundantly more access to swipe right or left on apps, or serendipitously meet a great catch in person than our parents and grandparent’s generations.
And yet, with all the potential options, somehow it seems more difficult to stumble across Mr. or Mrs. Right or to maintain a long-term symbiotic relationship. Fortunately navigating dating and relationships becomes easier when you know exactly who you are–your different quirks, flaws, and assets–and when you keenly understand the little things that titillate your world and accept the nuances and icks of a person that you know are not aligned with you.
A woman relishing in her black cat energy and femininity knows exactly what she wants and needs and doesn’t detour from who she is for anyone. These are the qualities of black cat women:
High Standards
Nothing says you’re the main character or HBIC like flaunting high standards and sticking to them.
TikToker Anna Kristina, the self-proclaimed creator of the "black cat theory" shared how to become the ultimate black cat and have men eating from the palm of your hand. “You have to be inconvenient. You have to be bitchy. You have to have standards and certain expectations. The higher the expectations, and the more unrealistic, the better.”
Elusiveness
Relationship TikToker Tomisin Atobatele offers women insights into the essence of being elusive. "I want you to stop being eager to tell men everything you’re thinking and feeling, and especially tell men exactly what you desire. If a guy asks you what you want out of a guy, or what you’re looking for, I want you to be vague…When you’re vague, and someone’s interested in you, it forces them to do work in order to get those answers.”
"And just that fast, you’ve created a scenario where he’s thinking about you," he added. "He’s thinking about your needs. He’s thinking about your wants and desires. And in the process of him thinking about your wants and desires, his focus is on you.”
Firm Boundary Setter
Self-preservation, respect, and overall happiness stem from healthy boundaries. A woman basking in black cat energy knows exactly when and how to implement boundaries. Black cats have boundaries. They will let you know when they are done getting petted," said TikToker Marian Bacol.
“They will let you know when they want to give you attention. They will stare you down if they are done with you. They are clear on their boundaries and they’re not afraid to enforce it. They don’t give love and affection to anyone and everyone the way that dogs do. Cats are more selective and that’s how you have to be with your energy.”
Unapologetically Authentic
A sure way to have a man perpetually falling for you is to be authentically you without changing who you are, solely for him.
“If you want him to chase you as opposed to you chasing him, you need to remember this one thing…whatever attributes you have: your style, your hair color, your whatever you’ve got going on – you don’t change for him," said life coach Margarita Nazarenko. "The black cat would never change for a man and that’s what’s going to make him chase you.”
She cements the rule with an analogy: “The rule is: if you make the best chocolate cake and he likes apple pie, make him the best chocolate cake, not a sub apple pie.”
Famous Couples That Successfully Personify Black Cat/Golden Retriever Energy
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These power couples prove why women who helm their black cat energy make their men swoon:
Rihanna & ASAP Rocky
"[The relationship] is going great. I don’t think there’s a more perfect person because when the schedules are hectic, she’s very understanding of that," A$AP Rocky told Billboard about his relationship with Rihanna. "And when the schedule’s freed up, that’s when you get to spend [the] most time together. It’s all understanding and compatibility.
Ashanti & Nelly
Lauren Speed Hamilton & Cameron Hamilton
Lauren Speed Hamilton and Cameron Hamilton are proof positive of the Love Is Blind concept. More recently, the married couple got real on their podcast about the struggles of expanding their family through fertility treatments. "When I saw what you were going through, terms of taking the medications, doing the daily shots, knowing that IVF and all this stuff wasn't really something that you naturally wanted to do but you did it for me," Cameron shared in episode 2 of The Love Seat podcast with Lauren, his voice beginning to crack.
"You showed me a new level of love that I'd never seen before."
Kristy Scott & Desmond Scott
Zendaya & Tom Holland
"You can’t really find anything against Zendaya, she’s kind of like the perfect person," Tom Holland shared about girlfriend Zendaya in a 2021 interview with Backstage. "It was so wonderful to have someone like her in my corner, to help me grow through that process … Having her as a friend has been so valuable to the success and happiness of my career and life."
Gabrielle Union & Dwyane Wade
Ciara & Russell Wilson
"For me, I knew that God had brought me in her life to bless her and for her to bless me," Russell Wilson told Access Hollywood about wife Ciara.
Serena Williams & Alexis Ohanian
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