If you’re one to track celebrity news — which, let’s be real, is oftentimes nothing more than gossip — you’ve probably noticed that actor and singer Halle Bailey’s name has been coming up quite a bit as of late. Last week, she announced a mini solo residency (her first) that sold out in a matter of minutes, and since she and artist DDG (the father of her firstborn son, Halo) have broken up, it’s like folks are publishing minute-by-minute updates on what co-parenting is like for the both of them (and between them).
However, what caught and held my attention was her sharing the fact that she has been going through postpartum depression in the midst of…it all.
As Halle went on to explain her extreme anxiety when it came to being apart from her baby for more than 30 minutes, looking in the mirror and not really recognizing herself, and feeling triggered (in ways she probably wouldn’t be otherwise) — as a doula (which is basically a birthing assistant) who has had a front seat to clients who’ve battled with postpartum depression as well (and also as someone who knows that somewhere around 1 in 8 women deal with it on some level), I thought that now would be as good of a time as any to address some things about postpartum depression head on.
One, so that it can be taken more seriously than it oftentimes is. Two, so that you can know what to potentially look out for if you’re pregnant or someone you care about is. And, last but not least, if you have recently been diagnosed with postpartum depression, you can know that there is absolutely nothing to feel ashamed about — and that you are certainly not alone.
Postpartum Depression. Revisited.
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First up, I’m not even gonna begin to act like I can cover something as…vast as postpartum depression in one article. However, I am going to try to provide a bit of fact-based intel, just so you can separate myths, rumors, and the attitude of dismissiveness from what this type of depression is actually all about.
Postpartum depression (which is sometimes also referred to as perinatal depression and is also known as PPD) is the type of depression that occurs either during a woman’s pregnancy or shortly after she gives birth. Although the Greek philosopher and physician Hippocrates spotted emotional challenges that new moms would experience all the way back in his day (which was a LONG time ago), it actually wasn’t until — check it — 1994 (just 30 years ago — SMDH) that the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders formally listed postpartum depression “medically defined concept.”
Since then, even more studies have been trying to get to the root of postpartum depression. For instance, a UCLA team came to the conclusion about a decade ago that pregnancy alters the brain on many different levels. It does this by (for example) causing neurosteroid chemicals to skyrocket during pregnancy and then plummet after giving birth, which can cause the brain to go through extremes in order to resume some sort of balance.
In 2019, in response to this, the FDA approved Zulresso (brexanolone). New moms 15 and over can take it, although it absolutely must be under the supervision of a medical professional due to some of its potential side effects.
It also should go on record that there are three different types of postpartum depression — there’s the “baby blues” that easily at least half (some reports say as much as 75 percent) of new moms go through which is pretty (self-) manageable; there’s postpartum depression that comes with more severe symptoms (more on that in a sec), and then there’s postpartum psychosis which is the most extreme kind of PPD. Around 1 in 1,000 women are diagnosed with it, and it can include paranoia, hallucinations, and mania.
Okay, so how can you know if what you are experiencing is “baby blues” or something more serious? That is an excellent question.
5 Early Signs of Postpartum Depression
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Although some of my clients are individuals who I didn’t know prior to their pregnancy, some people have been friends. One friend, in particular, I had known for about 20 years at the time that I helped her give birth to her first child ,and so I knew her personality very well. That’s why, when I noticed some of the signs that I’m about to share, I alerted her midwife ASAP.
Initially, her midwife said that we should wait a couple of weeks to see if it really was postpartum depression, yet my friend was moving so out of character that I wouldn’t let up. Later on, her midwife told me that she was glad that I didn’t wait because my friend ended up going through a pretty serious bout of postpartum depression for a few months.
1. Early signs of PPD: Your emotions don't "level out" within the first couple of weeks.
Listen, if premenstrual syndrome (PMS) is real (and it is), in part due to all of the hormonal changes that we go through (perimenopause comes to mind, too), I bet you can just imagine all that is going on, hormonally, after giving birth. And while the first couple of weeks can seem a bit all over the place, if you’re not starting to feel like your old self within a couple of weeks or so, don’t merely shrug that off; it could be a postpartum depression warning sign.
2. Early signs of PPD: Your anxiety is through the roof.
Something that really let me know that something was up with my friend is she was obsessed with feeding her child (a part of the issue was mastitis, which is an infection within a woman’s breast tissue). It was so much to the point that she wouldn’t sleep, and when I would be insistent upon it, she would put a bottle up on a pregnancy pillow and prop her baby up next to it (keep in mind that this was a newborn). She was super anxious and irritable, which can be another warning sign of entering into postpartum depression.
3. Early signs of PPD: Your day-to-day patterns are drastically shifting.
Your baby is going to create a new normal for your life; that is guaranteed. However, if you’re noticing that you are totally deviating from everything that you typically do as far as your daily routine goes, while this could be the case for the first few weeks, pay close attention to if it remains that way for longer periods of time. This can be tied toshort-term memory loss or feeling very disoriented — another telling sign.
4. Early signs of PPD: You are beyond exhausted.
I once read that new parents tend to lose somewhere around three hours of sleep each and every night during the first year of their child’s life (chile) — and yes, that is going to lead to feeling tired, drained…weary even. Oh, but the exhaustion that I’m speaking of here is when you are well past feeling like you are running on fumes.
Depression exhaustion is when your brain is foggy, your focus is off, and you start leaning into feeling like you’re just existing instead of living because that’s just how worn out you are — and when you can’t seem to find relief, no matter how hard you try, that’s when it could teeter into depression if you’re not careful.
5. Early signs of PPD: You're either overly concerned with or totally detached from your child.
If you can’t think about anything but your baby or you don’t really feel much of an attachment at all, both of these can be signs of postpartum depression setting in as well. While science is still trying to figure out if shifts in oxytocin play a role, it is clear that changes in estrogen, progesterone, and within your thyroid can lead to either outcome — and both aren’t what’s ideal when you have a baby.
5 Signs of Full-Blown Postpartum Depression
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To be honest, everything that I just said can be a warning sign or a clear indication that you are in postpartum depression. The reason why I separated them from the ones that we are about to discuss is that if you only have one of what I just said, it may not be depression; however, if you’ve got three or more of them going on, definitely contact your doctor or midwife, just as soon as you possibly can — especially if they are compounded by these too.
1. Signs of PPD: Loss of appetite
When you’re depressed, it can sometimes cause you to not want to do basic things like showering or eating. A part of this may be due to something known as anhedonia, which is basically the ability to enjoy pleasurable things like food. Thing is, though, in order for you to get your strength back and for your baby to receive the nutrients that they need (if you are breastfeeding), you’ve got to eat. Besides, not eating can lower your blood sugar levels and that can impact your moods.
2. Signs of PPD: Insomnia
It probably doesn’t surprise you that, reportedly, 75 percent of people who are depressed struggle with getting a good night’s rest. The hamster wheel that it can put you on is wild, too, because you initially may struggle with sleeping because you are anxious or worrying a lot, which can have your emotions so all over the place to the point that you need sleep to regulate them…which you can’t seem to get because, again, you’re worrying so much.
There’s no way around the fact that a lack of sleep and depression are linked, so if you’re going days without at least getting some naps in, that could be a sign that postpartum depression has set in. (By the way, lemon balm is something that you might want to try if you can’t seem to sleep and you’re looking for an all-natural way to deal with it.)
3. Signs of PPD: Non-stop crying
If you ever get around to reading TIME’s “The Science of Crying,” you’ll get that nothing about crying is black and white. And honestly, if you’re crying from time to time after having a baby, that is completely understandable — encouraged even because it can help to reduce stress and pain; in fact, it’s pretty damn therapeutic.
What you shouldn’t overlook is if you’re experiencing crying spells to the point where it feels like you can’t stop. That can be an indication of depression because what you are expressing is feelings of hopelessness on some level.
4. Signs of PPD: Suicidal ideations
At the top of this year, Healthline published, “People with Perinatal or Postpartum Depression Face Higher Suicide Risk.” Hormones play a role in this. So does suppressing emotions if you feel some sort of guilt or shame for even having those thoughts during such a special time in your life. Then, if you add to the fact that reportedly only 15 percent of women seek professional mental health support for postpartum depression — sometimes it all can become so overwhelming that ending one’s life seems like the only way out. IT’S NOT.
If you’re thinking about suicide, even just a little bit, please speak up. Again, there’s nothing to be ashamed of; you simply need some expert assistance to get you through it.
5. Signs of PPD: Thoughts of hurting your child.
If it gets to the point where you are considering harming your child, that leans into the psychosis level of postpartum. Still, if a woman is going through all of the signs that I just mentioned, simultaneously, imagine how defeated she must feel. Anyway, although this isn’t the most common sign, it is the one that needs immediate professional help.
What Should You Do If You’re Going Through Postpartum Depression
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So, after reading all of this, you definitely sense that you or someone you know has some postpartum depression going on. What should you do? The first thing is what I’ve already mentioned, which is to make an appointment to see your doctor or midwife. Please don’t try, and “Google your way” into a remedy or solution because a medical professional may need to do lab work and mental health screenings to get to the root of what could be causing it. Next, if you are officially diagnosed, get a solid support system around you.
Remember (and it really can’t be said enough), postpartum depression is NOTHING to be embarrassed about or ashamed of. You had a baby, which is a supernatural feat; it may take some time to recover from all that came with doing that — and that is okay. Next, you might want to consider getting a postpartum therapist — and yes, there is such a thing. They can help you to better articulate your feelings and needs, offer proven tips to get you through this particular season, and help you to find therapy treatments that will be most effective for you personally.
All-Natural Remedies for Postpartum Depression
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Please hear me loud and clear when I say that natural remedies for postpartum depression need to be accompanied by a physician’s (or midwife’s) knowledge and care.
The reason why I can’t stress that enough is, again, postpartum depression is nothing to be flippant with or about, and simply thinking that you can take a supplement and call it a day is irresponsible at best. At the same time, though, there are things that can complement whatever your doctor or midwife suggests as you’re on the road to healing from it.
1. Postpartum depression remedies: Get some omega-3s into your system.
Omega-3 fatty acids help to keep your cell membranes in peak condition, and yes, they have been proven to help reduce some of the symptoms that are associated with (postpartum) depression. In fact, some doctors recommend consuming these types of fatty acids throughout your pregnancy in order to reduce the chances of being diagnosed with postpartum depression. There are supplements that are available, and foods like flaxseeds, chia seeds, walnuts, meat from grass-fed animals, and salmon are filled with this particular nutrient, too.
2. Postpartum depression remedies: Consider some postpartum yoga.
Remember how Halle Bailey basically said that she felt disconnected from her body? Something that can help you to “reconnect” is postpartum yoga. Since it’s a form of exercise that decreases stress and anxiety, it’s low-impact, and it can help you to feel better about your body again — all of this works together to get you through postpartum depression.
3. Postpartum depression remedies: Fast from sugar, caffeine, and alcohol.
Sugar, caffeine, and alcohol are all stimulants — the kind that can make you feel energized and then cause you to crash a few hours later. When you have postpartum depression, you’re already on an emotional roller coaster ride, so you need to consume these things in extreme moderation.
Sugar? Studies say that it can actually make depression-related symptoms worse. Caffeine is a bit of a mixed bag; however, if it made you anxious before getting pregnant, you definitely should speak with your doctor before consuming it after pregnancy. Alcohol? It also increases your depression symptoms; plus, it’s potentially addictive.
4. Postpartum depression remedies: Get yourself an accountability partner.
Suffering in silence. A lot of new moms do it, which is why I was so glad that Halle spoke up about what she has currently been going through. When I say that you need an accountability partner (preferably a non-relative if you've got bossy or controlling ones who want to tell you "how things are done"), what I mean is you need someone who will help you to stick to your plans/goals for healing from postpartum depression, while supporting and encouraging you on your low days; you also need someone who will be great at helping you to feel good about yourself again.
Postpartum depression isn’t really something that you can get through (well) alone. Please don’t try to.
5. Postpartum depression remedies: Ramp up the self-care.
LISTEN, if there is ever a time when you shouldn’t feel the least bit guilty about getting (extra) massages, facials, or whatever else makes you feel pampered and beautiful — right after having a baby would be it. In fact, if you are currently pregnant, I recommend that you create a “pamper me budget” for your postnatal care. Why? Well, sometimes, one of the hardest things about adjusting to the new normal of a baby is trying to find the balance between prioritizing them vs. yourself.
When it comes to this final point, you’ve got to always remember that the healthier you are — mind, body, and spirit — the better off your baby will be, and that means that you’ve got to take premium care of your mental health…and yes, self-care via pampering plays a big role in that (check out “5 Reasons You Should Unapologetically Pamper Yourself”).
Why You Should Consider Hiring a Postpartum Doula
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The way that my particular doula services work is I come into the pregnant mom’s life during the beginning of her third trimester and then stick around for a month following her giving birth to her child. That way, I can monitor any potential signs of postpartum depression, give her partner a break (yes, fathers have needs that shouldn’t be ignored during that time, too), and I can help around the house if the mom is too tired or physically not up to doing things like washing dishes or even changing her baby sometimes.
Although I do this naturally, the technical term for this type of doula isa postpartum doula. And even though we're all given information on how to provide postpartum care during “doula school,” a postpartum doula’s training is focused especially on how to support moms and babies after mom gives birth.
This can include doing all of the things that I already mentioned, as well as offering breastfeeding assistance (because it can sometimes take a minute to figure it out, trust me), running errands, preparing meals, helping out with other members of the family (like the other children) — some postpartum doulas will even spend the night a few nights a week so that the mom can get some quality rest.
Indeed, one of my favorite things about a postpartum doula is that while a baby nurse mostly only focuses on the newborn’s needs, a postpartum doula helps the entire family. Yeah, they are pretty bomb and can be a real godsend on a billion different levels. For information on how to find a doula or postpartum doula, click here. For information on how to become a DONA-certified doula, click here.
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This one was lengthy (even for me — LOL), yet I hope you can see why it needed to be.
Halle, thanks again for bringing this issue to light. I salute you.
Having a baby is miraculous. New moms deserve all of the support that they need once they do it.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
The Mecca Of Fashion: The Top Street Style Moments At Howard Homecoming
Outfits were planned, bags were packed, and cameras were ready to capture Howard University's collegiate spirit during its centennial Homecoming celebration. Not only does it hold the number one ranking as the most elite Historically Black College and University or its top performing academics, diversity of students and alumni, but the HBCU also leaves a legacy of style and grace.
The essence of effortless poise and refinement shines bright through the iconic university colors of indigo blue, red, and white. Every October, Howard University students, alumni, staff, and friends gather on the prestigious campus in Washington, D.C. to take part in time-honored traditions and events, which is Homecoming. This year's theme, “The Meccaverse,” was a week-long celebration of Howard University’s heritage, including the Homecoming football game and Bison Pep Rally, the Fashion Show, Greek Life Step Show, Homecoming Day of Service, Lavender Reception, and the iconic Yard Fest Concert.
As 2024 marked the 100th anniversary of the Howard Bison trek back to The Mecca and after two years of virtual events due to the COVID-19 pandemic, this was to be a celebration of a lifetime. We enlisted HU alumnus Sharmaine Harris, a luxury retail buyer, as she revisited her alma mater as eyes on the yard for fashion-forward outfits mixed with personal style and campus pride for the weeklong celebration.
Before we get to the looks, discover how attending Howard University impacted her career in fashion and her day-to-day style:
Credit: Sharmaine and Friends
xoNecole: Describe your personal style. Did attending Howard have any impact on developing it?
Sharmaine: Howard taught me that there’s no such thing as being TOO dressed. There’s always a reason to “put it on” and look presentable, even if it’s just for a day of classes. Standing out was celebrated and encouraged with my peers embracing the opportunity, giving me the confidence to try new styles and trends.
xoNecole: How did Howard shape your career as a luxury buyer?
Sharmaine: I studied Fashion Merchandising, through which I was fortunate to have professors who were very connected to the industry and able to give first-hand accounts of opportunities and what to expect post-college. I was also able to build a network through my peers and other Howard Alum, which has opened doors to endless possibilities both within fashion as well as daily life.
The same confidence instilled in me through my style has also been rooted deeply within me as I step into any role or project I’m faced with throughout my career.
xoNecole: This year marked Howard’s 100th-anniversary Homecoming celebration. Can you describe what the weekend looked and felt like?
Sharmaine: I’ve gone to many Howard Homecomings since graduating, but this year’s 100th anniversary felt like a huge family reunion filled with nothing but love. It was beautiful to see so many Bison return home looking great and radiating joy. It was beautiful!
xoNecole: What makes Howard fashion different from other HBCUs?
Sharmaine: Being that Howard is The Mecca, we have such a diverse population with each individual having their own spin on fashion. Getting dressed is second nature for us, but the layered confidence is our secret ingredient to make any look come together. Through that comfortability to push barriers, we have a legacy of setting trends, as indicated by the many alumni we have in the fashion and entertainment industry.
Keep scrolling for the top street style moments from The Mecca's Homecoming weekend:
Credit: Lacey Gallagher
Credit: Alan Henderson
Credit: JaLynn Davis
Credit: Dylan Davis
Credit: Caleb Smith
Credit: Kendall W.
Credit: Jordyn Finney
Credit: Vanessa Nneoma
Credit: Dr. Mariah Sankey-Thomas
Credit: Caleb MacBruce
Credit: Tiffany Battle
Credit: Teniola
Credit: Ilahi Creary
Credit: Nicolas Ryan Grant
Credit: Dylan Davis
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image courtesy of Sharmaine Harris
Message From A Mad Black Woman: Y’all Keep The Blue Bracelets, We’ll Take Our Rest.
Mere hours after the 2024 presidential election results made it clear that the United States would need to gird its loins for a second Trump presidency, a gaggle of women ran over to social media to announce that blue bracelets would serve as a new sign of solidarity. A safe space, if you will.
This declaration came about in response to Black women openly voicing their disappointment in both the election results and exit poll data that showed that not just white people, but Latinos and women of “all other races” had played a surprising role in the now President-Elect, Donald Trump’s reelection.
These exit polls quickly became the object of Black women’s attention and ultimate disappointment. Because while Black women went out and reliably voted for Vice President Kamala Harris to the tune of 91%, white women handed Trump 53% of their collective vote, Latino women 36%, and women of “other races” 46%.
On the night of November 5, 2024, Black women were left in shock. This shock would morph into disappointment, and the disappointment was a consequence of what, some would begin to argue, felt like, well, betrayal.
Like Rome, though, this heart-wrenching disappointment wasn’t built in a day.
Screenshot from "2024 Exit Polls," NBC News, accessed Nov. 12, 2024.
The Set-Up
On Sunday, July 21, President Joe Biden announced that he would not be seeking reelection - a decision that followed the disastrous one-and-done debate against former president Donald Trump, the subsequent wavering of major donors, and growing calls for a new candidate to run on the Democrat’s ticket. Hours after Biden’s announcement, Vice President Kamala Harris would send Beyoncé's internet into a frenzy by announcing that she would seek the party’s nomination.
That July night, 44,000 Black women assembled via Zoom to stress test the limits of the meeting app, break historical fundraising records, and strategize - subsequently setting into motion a series of virtual meet-ups. As a result, more Zoom meetings cropped up, bringing together attendees connected through countless combinations of backgrounds, orientations, and genders.
One said meeting was held by and for 164,000 “White Women for Kamala” who’d come together to publicly declare that they’d regretted not doing more in 2016 and were ready to use their privilege for the sake of advocacy and allyship.
A woman wearing an anti-Trump button as she listens to Democratic presidential nominee VP Kamala Harris speak at a campaign event on Oct. 18, 2024.
Bill Pugliano/Getty Images
For months, white women made it a point to convince Black women that they were on board - ensuring us that they were ready to seize their second chance at pushing back on the pillars of the patriarchy. The same group who’d failed to answer the call of rejecting Trump’s racist, sexist, and xenophobic antics before swore, for months, that they’d seen the error of their ways and were looking for redemption. The alleged fix? Betting better. Doing more. Voting differently.
While there was an understanding undertone of apprehension from Black women, the rhetoric began to lend itself to hope — with some going so far as to lift the moratorium on cookout invites. There seemed to be a collective sigh. A brief moment of unity.
The Let-Down
Little did Black women know, they were about to be played like a fiddle by the same group who, like in 2016 and 2020, were more interested in their own self-preservation than in actual change. This short-lived hope was dashed on Nov. 5 as the true nature of performative allyship became evident.
Turns out, the Black women who’d served at the helm of the movement, bless their hearts, had been bamboozled. Hoodwinked. Swindled. Like a modern-day Boo Boo the Fool. Believing the hook, line, and sinker, it was almost cute, in a tragic sort of way. They saw the potential, the hope, and the promise, drinking the red Kool-Aid, so to speak, eagerly awaiting the revolution.
The excessive blue hearts and social media commentary pledging solidarity had turned out to be performative or had over-indexed the voices of the 44% who were actually in solidarity. Either way, the seemingly overwhelming allyship wasn’t there, reminding Black women that while they are constantly expected to stand on the front lines for so many, rarely is there any ally who will actually show up for them.
A History of Short-Lived, Self-Serving Allyship
The 2024 election wasn’t the first time we’d seen this type of performative allyship, though. While a noble concept in theory, the kinds of allyship that have been displayed in many movements across The States have far too often missed the actual point. In fact, throughout U.S. history, allyship has actually been used more as a tool to bolster a single group’s positioning in the social hierarchy rather than genuinely advocating for the progression of marginalized groups.
Think back to 2020. Just months after the COVID-19 pandemic forced much of the country into isolation, remote work, the acknowledgment of essential workers as, well, essential, and, for some reason, bread-making. For 9 minutes and 29 seconds, the world watched, helplessly, as a powerless George Floyd was slowly pulled away from the world, drained by Officer Derek Chauvin's knee to his nape. In a traumatic 8 minutes and 46 seconds, the world seemingly changed.
Ira L. Black/Corbis via Getty Images
Protests quickly spread across the globe, and along with it, a wave of “allyship” swept across America. Large corporations, scrambling to answer the calls of Black employees, consumers, and investors demanding that they use their financial prowess to do more to prevent the next Floyd, almost instantly began releasing statements of solidarity, pledging donations to “racial justice” causes, and promising to promote more Black employees.
However, as quickly as these gestures showed up, most were forgotten, with almost all proving to have provided minimal impact on the groups they’d pledged to help. While some companies, like Target, increased their spending on Black-owned businesses, others faced scrutiny for their lack of substantive change.
A study by Color Of Change found that only 17% of companies that pledged donations after Floyd's death had fulfilled their commitments. Data compiled by theWashington Post found that two years after America’s 50 largest publicly traded companies pledged a collective $50 billion to racial justice causes, just 37 had disbursed a collective $1.7 billion. What’s worse?
Ninety percent of the pledged amount - or $45.2 billion - had been allocated in the form of mortgages, loans, and investments that the companies themselves would more than likely benefit from. These companies said one thing and did another and still found a way to benefit from the delta.
Performative Allyship: Civil Rights & Women’s Liberation Movements
This type of allyship is new, though. It didn’t take long for powerful groups to figure out that the simple appearance of allyship was, for the most part, good for business and the bottom line. For decades, powerful entities have publicly supported movements only to be later found to have engaged in discriminatory practices, highlighting the consistent disconnect.
During the Civil Rights Movement, companies issued statements of solidarity and even donated to civil rights organizations, but behind the scenes, they continued to segregate their workforces and refuse to hire Black employees for higher-level positions. During the Women's Liberation Movement, advertisers capitalized on the feminist moment by incorporating imagery and slogans associated with women's empowerment into their campaigns, while the underlying message of many advertisements reinforced traditional gender roles and stereotypes.
The difference between what is said and what is done has time after time exposed the shallowness of allyship, highlighting how it has mostly served as a tool for public relations rather than a genuine commitment to social justice and to the marginalized groups who are most at risk by the upholding of the status quo.
For two election cycles straight, white women posed as allies and still voted in a way that upheld the power structure that they benefit from - with many understanding that the survival of white supremacy is of more value to them than sexism and misogyny is a threat. In 2016 and 2020, 52% and 55% of white women, respectively, decided that they’d rather keep their position of second place in the social hierarchy than risk dismantling it and being forced to find a new place in society.
Latino women and women of “all of the races” followed the trend - blatantly ignoring the warnings of the same Black women who have not only been on the front lines of social justice but who are often called into the lead movements in communities that are not there own - increasing their support for Trump between 2016 and 2025 by 13% and 15% respectively.
Screenshot from "2020 Exit Polls," NBC News, accessed Nov. 12, 2024.
The Blue Bracelets are Going to Be A “No”
On the night of Nov. 5, 2024, Black women watched their country look at a qualified, experienced, capable, and willing Black woman and say, “Nah, we good.” It was on this night that a group that had been denied democratic rights for centuries, but had still attempted to rescue American democracy far too many times, only to be let down, put away the warnings, and began issuing a new declaration - they were opting out.
Black women have decided to lean into rest and recuperation - uninterested in any additional work that will, more than likely, end in disappointment and betrayal. For many Black women, the suggestion to wear blue bracelets as a symbol of solidarity is patronizing and dismissive of a greater and more complex issue. It’s a way to absolve the women who let Black women down for failing to keep promises made while simultaneously positioning the wearer as morally superior.
It fails to address the historically deep betrayal that Black women have experienced at the hands of their country and, more specifically, their own countrywomen. The request reduces the fight for equality to a simple, superficial gesture when allyship isn’t aesthetic and Black women deserve more than a symbol.
While the blue bracelets may be the new fashion choice for white women attempting to set themselves apart, to symbolize that they were on the right side of history, for many Black women, it’ll always be difficult to trust. In fact, it may serve as a symbol of a hollow and fleeting promise for the Black women who have done the tireless and thankless work for justice and equality.
For now, Black women are choosing themselves. Anywhere between a few days and the next four years should be enough time to reset and recoup. And who knows, they may even find the excess capacity means energy to train as pilots, restart forgotten yoga practices, expand the business, or earn that second Ph.D.
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