Our Little Mermaid Halle Bailey has been making waves in 2023, thanks to headline-worthy moves like landing a role in the forthcoming The Color Purple, dropping summer heat by way of her first solo single, "Angel," and of course, starring as the iconic Ariel in this year's Rob Marshall-helmed reimagining of The Little Mermaid. But what has also been getting media attention is her relationship with her longtime love, rapper and YouTuber DDG.
Though they tend to keep their relationship relatively low-key, they have experienced a bit of heat over the last year. Due to some of DDG's questionable antics during Halle's press run for The Little Mermaid, fans endorsed a "dump him" campaign where they voiced their opinion that the rising star was out of his league and that her boyfriend was jealous of her success.
Halle Bailey and DDG Complete Relationship Timeline
Public attention and rumors are par for the course in the world of entertainment, but they seem to handle it with grace, focusing on their happiness and individual growth. In fact, after hearing the feedback, Halle graciously thanked everyone for trying to look out for her but ultimately felt that she knew what was best for her when it came to her relationship.
Since then, DDG, 26, and Halle, 23, have made many public appearances (as well as in vlogs by way of DDG's YouTube channel) maintaining a united front and have seemingly bounced back from the early hiccups of their relationship journey.
Halle Bailey and DDG Relationship Timeline:
From their red carpet debut to some of their most talked-about moments to becoming first-time parents to their baby Halo, here's Halle Bailey and DDG's complete relationship timeline.
January 2022: Halle and DDG attend Usher's Las Vegas residency.
DDG/Instagram
DDG and Halle spark dating rumors after being spotted together enjoying Usher's Las Vegas residency in January 2022.
February 2022: Halle and DDG have dinner together in Malibu.
On Febuary 7, the then-21-year-old Halle was photographed with DDG leaving dinner at Nobu.
March 2022: DDG makes things Instagram official and confirms his relationship with Halle.
In a now-deleted Instagram post, DDG took to Instagram to give a birthday shoutout to the Ungodly Hour singer. Professing his love, he wrote, "Happy Birthday to the beautifulest, the flyest, the sweetest ❤️. Love you forever 🥺💎."
March 2022: Halle posts a cute TikTok of singing lessons with DDG.
@hallebailey singing lessons with @DDG 🤣
It's giving wholesome. In a viral moment, Halle showed the world a glimpse of DDG's softer side as they playfully engaged in "singing lessons."
April 2022: Halle and DDG are spotted together at a Coachella party.
About a month after making things Instagram official, the pair were spotted together boo'd up at a Coachella party.
June 2022: Halle Bailey and DDG make their red carpet couple debut.
Momodu Mansaray/WireImage
For their red carpet debut as a couple, Halle and DDG made things an all-black affair at the 2022 BET Awards red carpet. At the awards show, Halle told Extra, "I have my boo with me today."
She also revealed their excitement and anticipation for her sister Chloe's performance that night. "We’re so excited. We’re gonna have so much fun just supporting Chloe. It’ll be great!"
July 2022: DDG tells DJ Akademiks how Halle inspires and motivates him to be better.
In a July interview with the media personality, DDG revealed:
"I honestly get inspired by my girl. She honestly motivated me to be better and work harder and get to certain levels. I look up to her in a sense 'cause it's, like, I never been around nobody that really . . . 'cause I feel like I'm always the motivator, I'm the inspirer."
"It's like I'm in a different mode now where I'm getting inspired by somebody. I feel like it's healthy in that way for me 'cause it's like a weight off my shoulders. It's like, 'Okay, I need to work harder.' It's challenging in a good way. It just makes me want to go harder versus feeling overwhelmed or some shit."
September 2022: Halle stars as the leading lady in DDG's "If I Want You" video.
Are you really dating if you don't appear in at least one of your rapper boyfriend's videos as a leading lady? Halle flexed her acting chops, served face, and provided her famously angelic vocals in DDG's "If I Want You." The heat was palpable.
September 2022: Halle and DDG attend Paris Fashion Week.
Marc Piasecki/Getty Images For Roger Vivier
The pair were spotted attending the Roger Vivier Press day for Paris Fashion Week.
October 2022: Halle and DDG step out for the Wearable Art Gala event.
Jerritt Clark/Getty Images for Wearable Art Gala
Halle and DDG were all smiles as they dazzled at the 5th Annual WACO Wearable Art Gala red carpet together.
October 2022: DDG says he's 'very proud' of Halle and her success.
While promoting his album, It's Not Me, It's You, DDG gushed to PEOPLE about his happiness for his girlfriend Halle's career.
"I'm very proud of her. And I'm just happy to see it. I feel like sometimes I'm even more excited than anybody else. Just seeing it and seeing everything that she dreamed of coming to life, it's really dope."
November 2022: Halle says she's 'been a fan' of DDG in a cover story with ESSENCE.
Halle opened up about knowing who her rapper boyfriend was before actually meeting him in a cover story with ESSENCE. “I’ve been a fan of his for years. I grew up being on YouTube and would always see the young Black creators and was constantly inspired by them. He was one of them.”
She shared with the mag that she was familiar with his music as early as 2015, but that they didn't connect until he slid in her DMs. "But then I saw that he was dropping music, and I really gravitated toward this one song. Coincidentally he messaged me — and the rest is history."
November 2022: DDG gushes about Halle's influence on his life.
During a November interview with The Breakfast Club, DDG told the hosts:
“I’ve never been with nobody that’s like really motivated me like [Halle] do. I’m seeing different shit. I ain’t really been around this type of shit before, so it’s like, she’s bringing me around shit that I ain’t really—you know what I’m saying? ‘Oh, this is crazy. This is dope.’ You know what I mean? This is somebody that’s really like … I was my own person before her, but in a way, put me on to different shit. That’s dope because I’m usually the one putting motherfuckers on.”
When the subject of marriage entered the chat, DDG admitted he could "eventually" see himself proposing to Halle.
December 2022: DDG and Halle hit the 'Avatar 2' blue carpet.
Frazer Harrison/WireImage
The couple carpet appearances keep racking as DDG and Halle stepped out together to support the James Cameron sequel, Avatar 2: The Way Of Water.
January 2023: DDG and Halle attend the Grand Reveal Weekend for Atlantis The Royal.
Kevin Mazur/Getty Images for Atlantis The Royal
Halle Bailey and DDG showed support to the Queen by attending a private event for the Atlantis The Royal opening together in Dubai. The opening marked Beyoncé's return to the stage after a four-year hiatus.
January 2023: Halle and DDG tweet their love for each other out loud.
😎 i love you more https://t.co/kbhQ9zpKvZ
— DDG (@PontiacMadeDDG) February 1, 2023
High on love, Halle tweeted in late January, "i love my man ngl." DDG responded to her tweet, "i love you more."
February 2023: Rumors of a Halle Bailey and DDG breakup spark.
Fans picked up on DDG no longer following Halle on Instagram and wiping any and all traces of her from his account. This plus the "Hold Up" rapper posting a cryptic tweet that read, "all these girls the same … ain’t no wayy" had fans speculating that there was trouble in paradise and that the relationship was over.
But DDG responded to breakup claims and shut them down by saying that the internet was "gullible." He also told fans not to take his tweets "serious."
February 2023: DDG and Halle shut down cheating rumors involving Rubi Rose.
Rumors swirled after DDG's ex Rubi Rose made a messy comment towards Halle that spiraled into her sharing alleged receipts that DDG was trying to spin the block despite being involved with Halle. Both Halle and DDG denied the rumors, however.
Halle shared in a tweet that the "devil is working" and implored fans not to feed "into the lies, especially from a third party."
March 2023: Halle and DDG hit the 2023 Vanity Fair Oscar Party following breakup rumors.
John Shearer/WireImage
After the slight relationship hiccups that came with the start of 2023, Halle and DDG showed that they were solid in their relationship while attending the 2023 Vanity Fair Oscar Party Hosted By Radhika Jones.
April 2023: Halle opens up about experiencing "deep love" with DDG to 'British Vogue.'
In a cover story with Britsh Vogue, Halle revealed that the love she shares with DDG is a "deep love" and one that she never experienced outside of her family. She shared:
"Experiencing deep love for the first time in my life is something I feel has opened a whole new world for me creatively. What it feels like to love someone other than your family, like somebody you may not have known two years ago but now they're the center of your world."
"I like all of the scary feelings that come with that. I like the suspense, the not knowing what's going to happen, and I feel like that's what I'm supposed to be going through in womanhood."
In the same interview, she also referred to their relationship as "deeply sacred." Whew.
May 2023: Halle says loving DDG is a "transformative experience."
In an exclusive with PEOPLE, Halle touched on experiencing young love through DDG. "I think the best thing about young love is that you're able to continue to find yourself through this journey of loving somebody else. And you're discovering new parts of yourself and maybe things that you didn't notice before about your heart," she revealed to the outlet about her young romance with her boyfriend.
"I feel like things change when love gets more involved in your life. I have definitely discovered more within myself as a woman. …It's a really cool thing to go through, but a transformative experience."
July 2023: DDG releases "Famous" and fans believe he is dissing Halle.
It could be life imitating art, or art imitating life, but DDG's song "Famous" seemed to talk about the highs and lows of being the boyfriend of a rising star. On the track, he rapped, "Filmin' a movie now you kissing dudes / You know I love you a lot / I don't give a fuck if that shit for promo / I don't wanna see this shit no more."
Fans took the song as a sneak diss to Halle and slammed the rapper for what they viewed as disrespect to Halle, spawning the backlash of him being called a "failed rapper" by supporters of the Chloe x Halle singer. DDG denied claims that "Famous" was anything more than a song, however. "It's just music y'all," he said in a video reposted by The Shade Room.
He went on to add, "It's the entertainment business. Relax, calm down, chill out. You know it is what it is. I'm used to getting hated on."
September 2023: Halle opens up about her first 'deep, real love' with DDG.
Halle sat down with Cosmopolitan as a part of her press run to support her film, The Little Mermaid. She told the outlet that she drew a lot of musical inspo from love and that she was experiencing love "for the first time, and it’s, like, ‘whoa’ in your brain. It’s just fireworks, a spark for creativity."
She continued, "You know, you have puppy love experiences, you think that’s love. But this is my first deep, deep, real love."
September 2023: Halle and DDG attend Milan Fashion Week.
Victor Boyko/Getty Images for Gucci
Halle and DDG were spotted cuddled up at the Gucci Ancora during Milan Fashion Week.
October 2023: DDG and Halle attend the Glamour Women of the Year Awards.
Gareth Cattermole/Getty Images
Halle looked absolutely radiant as the pair stepped out in London for the Glamour Women of the Year Awards on October 17 where the actress was an honoree of the night. She received the award for Gen Z Game-Changer and, when accepting her award, shared her experience of navigating scrutiny over her choices and offered the crowd encouragement to live life on their own terms:
"It's been an adjustment to live my life under the scrutiny of that spotlight. But, in the age of social media, in some way, we all live under that same scrutiny. From what we wear to who we love to the things we care about – It’s all open to scrutiny. So, here’s my honest advice. Turn it off when you need to find inner peace. But also, live your life for you. Don’t waste time living it for social media.
"Everyone has an opinion but the only opinion that matters is your own – you already know deep down what’s right for you. For me, it works because I keep it simple. I put God first and then I try to make decisions that are best for me in that moment."
January 2024: Halle Bailey and DDG announce the birth of their son, Halo.
Though neither of the pair confirmed there was any truth to the pregnancy speculation surrounding their relationship in much of the latter half of 2023, Halle Bailey and DDG started 2024 with news of the birth of their son. DDG dropped the visual to his song "Darryl Freestyle" which included a lyric revealing he had become a dad as well as the child's name, Halo.
Not too soon after, Halle took to Instagram to share a selfie of DDG's hand, her hand, and baby Halo's tiny hand. In her caption, she wrote, "even though we're a few days into the new year, the greatest thing that 2023 could have done for me, was bring me my son.. welcome to the world my halo."
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RELATED
At the beginning of the year, we are being shown how significant 2025 will be for love. From March 1, 2025, until April 12, 2025, Venus, the planet of love and relationships, will be retrograde. Venus goes retrograde approximately every 18 months and hasn’t been retrograde since the Summer of 2023. With love taking a step back at the beginning of the year, we move through a time of understanding the emotional world better and letting go of trying to control outcomes here.
What Does 2025 Have in Store for Love?
It’s time to refocus your relationship priorities overall, and with this retrograde happening in both Aries and Pisces, Aries being the first sign of the zodiac and Pisces being the last; there is a chapter we are closing and a new one we are walking into.
Another significant factor that is influencing relationships this year, is Jupiter’s entry into Cancer. Jupiter brings blessings, abundance, luck, and expansion, and in water sign Cancer, brings these gifts to your emotions. Cancer rules emotional safety, foundations, close loved ones, family, support, and emotional well-being, and with Jupiter in this sign from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026, we experience blessings in stability within love. This is a good year for building stronger foundations in love, aligning with those who are loyal and supportive, knowing what you need emotionally, and being a lot clearer on it.
Letting Go of the Past: The Astrological Theme of 2025
Overall, the guideline for the year when it comes to love is to focus on the bigger picture and let things work themselves out without forcing them to. Magic will come in for you this year when you can assess your needs and wants, let go of illusions or smoke and mirrors, and focus on the things you want for yourself rather than what you don’t. Your focus and beliefs on love are the priority right now, and things will be coming full circle for the better.
Read below to see your personal 2025 love forecast. Read for your sun, moon, and rising signs.
ARIES
2025 is one of the more significant years for you, Aries. A lot of the major transits are happening in your sign, which includes Venus retrograde in Aries at the beginning of the year, Neptune in Aries from March 2025 until 2039, and Saturn in Aries from May 2025 until 2028. Not to mention, Chiron, the wounded healer is currently in your sign until 2027.
What this means for you when it comes to love, is that you have learned a lot about where you want to be here, and it’s the year to implement more of these tools and knowledge of the heart.
This year for love is about honoring your integrity and what you need personally to thrive in life and creating that space to let it in. You need someone who will be there for you through whatever you are experiencing in life and not someone who adds to these challenges. This year is a time of rising above, and choosing better for yourself.
TAURUS
2025 for you when it comes to love, is all about perspective and taking better care of your heart, Taurus. Uranus, the planet of change, rebellion, progress, and upheaval, has been in your sign since 2019, and this year you get a break from all of the surprises. From Jul. 7, 2025, until Nov. 7, 2025, Uranus leaves your sign and enters Gemini, giving your mind and your heart some time to breathe.
This year you are being given the opportunity to see things for what they are, rather than what you fear them to be. You are able to see your relationship dynamics clearer, allowing you to feel more confident in what you are building and creating for yourself in this area of your life. What you are working on this year is letting go of overthinking, and allowing things to play out the way they are meant to in love.
GEMINI
This year you are feeling in balance when it comes to love, Gemini. Relationships are important to you in life overall, as you are a relationship-oriented sign, but it can be difficult at times to keep the balance and perspective here. This year, with lucky Jupiter in your sign until June, you have the opportunity to be blessed with some fortunate circumstances personally and within romance.
You are feeling yourself this year, and this is attracting you success and new opportunities within love.
Uranus will also be in your sign this year from Jul. 7 until Nov. 7, and some surprises are in store for you. Pay attention to what happens in your love life during this period, as similar themes will be coming back around for you when Uranus officially enters its Gemini transit from 2026 - 2032. Overall, this year is about balancing what’s coming and going in love, and finding your peace within your inner confidence for it all.
CANCER
2025 for you, Cancer, is about stability in love. You are growing emotionally from the ground up, and are feeling a sense of support, confidence, romance, and receptivity in your love life this year. You are one of the lucky signs of 2025, and this is due to Jupiter, the planet of blessings, entering your sign from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026. While Jupiter is in your sign, your life expands and you are able to see the gifts of your world that may have been harder to come by previously.
This is a year of spending more time with your loved ones and feeling more heard and supported emotionally. Safety and security are especially important to you this year, and you are only entertaining the people who feel that way about you and provide that. Many Cancers will be expanding their families this year or developing a long-term relationship, and overall this is a year of feeling stronger when it comes to love.
LEO
When it comes to love this year for you, Leo, it’s about trusting your intuition and listening more to what your heart is telling you. There are not many major transits happening in Leo in 2025, which means there is a lot of room to grow, but you may be feeling a lack of support or encouragement to do so. A lot of Leos are taking a step back to look at where they are currently in love, and yearning for some change and a new direction here.
Neptune will be in your 9th house of adventure for most of this year, and you are being asked to get inspired and do things differently, but don’t take unnecessary risks in love that may not serve you in the long run.
It can be easy to get lost in the fantasy of love rather than the actual reality you’ll live in here, and taking more time to understand yourself, your relationships, and the dynamics in your love life will be necessary. Overall, your heart is healing this year and you are moving away from the past and creating your new future.
VIRGO
This year when it comes to love, you are going through changes that are aligning you closer to your goals and dreams here, Virgo. You are focused on making things work that you want to see bloom, and also letting go of putting effort into people that aren’t reciprocating the same energy. With the North Node entering your sister sign Pisces and the South Node moving into your sign from Jan. 11, 2025, until Jul. 26, 2026, you are doing a lot of letting go over the next year.
However, with the North Node being in your 7th house of love, new doors and gifts are also opening up for you and your partnerships. The more you can let go of perfection and overworking your mind and your heart, the more blessings you will experience when it comes to love this year. In 2025, you also have two Eclipses in your sign, and there are overall a lot of changes Virgos are moving through this year. Your main guidance for love is to stand by the things that serve your heart and release yourself from what burdens it.
LIBRA
Love is coming to fruition for you this year, Libra. You have been through a lot in your personal life these past few years, and walking into 2025, you are ready for some positive change. This is a year of feeling in balance with your personal goals and dreams, and what you are experiencing romantically and financially as well. Relationship dynamics are serving you and your sense of abundance, and many gifts are coming your way in love this year.
With Neptune, Chiron, and Saturn all being in your 7th house of love, your love life and partnerships are the main focus for you in 2025.
You are moving through changes, overcoming previous obstacles, and bringing back the dreamy energy here. With Chiron in the 7th, you are still doing some healing of the heart, but with Neptune now entering, it all feels a little more romantic and spiritual at the same time. This year is about believing in the impossible in love, taking care of yourself, and allowing someone else to take care of you as well.
SCORPIO
This year is all about opportunity when it comes to love, Scorpio. You have your eyes on the prize and are focused on what you want for yourself, but also how you want to show up for love as well. You have goals and intentions that you are setting for your love life this year, and a lot of them reflect the passion and strength you are feeling as you enter the year. Vesta is in your sign this year until September, and you have a spark within you that is a magnet for success and love. You are walking forward confidently and are feeling inspired, sexy, and magical this year.
This is a very sensual and powerful year for you, and this energy is being reflected in the relationship experiences you are having. Jupiter also enters your 9th house of adventure halfway through the year, and there is something special about the trips you are taking and the risks you are taking in love. Overall, this is a year of doing things your way and attracting love to you through your inner confidence and charisma.
SAGITTARIUS
This is a beautiful year of feeling balanced and abundant in love, Sagittarius. There is a lot of energy coming in and you are giving a lot of love as well. This sense of synergy you are feeling within your love life this year has a lot to do with Juno, the asteroid of soulmates, in your sign from Feb. 19 - Apr. 15. Your people are coming in and you have options this year, Sag.
This is a year of feeling loved for the inspiring, outgoing, and unique being you are, and meeting more people who match your energy.
Saturn also enters your 5th house of romance this year, and you are learning a lot through your experiences with others. You are learning how to be more confident in who you are and what you want for yourself and also recognizing the importance of making more time for fun and playful experiences. This is the year to see love as a more light-hearted experience and to not take yourself too seriously.
CAPRICORN
You are letting things come to you when it comes to love this year, Capricorn. You are feeling beautiful, capable, and worthy, and you are receiving the gifts that come from this sense of confidence and patience. This past year, you were setting a lot of new goals for yourself and your relationships, and in 2025, you are experiencing the results of these efforts.
Jupiter moves into your sister sign Cancer from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026, and enters your 7th house of love, partnerships, romance, marriage, and harmony. Your love life and experience of it all are expanding this year, and benevolent Jupiter is sending blessings to this area of your life. This is a year of things coming full circle for you in love, and you feel less confused about it all and more sure of yourself and what is becoming for you here.
AQUARIUS
Love is a highlight for you this year, Aquarius. You are coming together with another, and many Aquarius’ will be forming new relationships or growing within a strong relationship. You are experiencing the fruition of your dreams in love, and are also able to heal and let go of past emotional experiences that have been overwhelming for you in the past.
The North Node enters your 12th house of closure this year, and you are motivated towards change, cleaning house, and releasing the cobwebs of the past.
You are walking into new emotional experiences with less baggage and self-doubt, and are experiencing a fresh start in love. This is a year of asking for what you need emotionally and receiving it. Love is coming in for you in harmonious and magical ways, and you are rewriting your story in love in 2025.
PISCES
You are moving through a lot of changes when it comes to love in 2025, Pisces. This is a year of closure, healing, and giving yourself a fresh start, and the way you enter the year will be a lot different than the way you end it. The North Node of Destiny enters your sign this year, and the South Node of Karma enters your 7th house of love. So, a lot of your focus this year is on your personal goals and path, and there may be some neglect or lack of focus on your relationships.
This can create some discord with those close to you, and your guidance for this year is to try to balance the personal successes and wins you are experiencing, with the love changes that also need your attention right now. Know that what leaves your life this year is being replaced by something better, and also know that your healing doesn’t need to have a timeline and you can take as much time as you need to grow. Overall, you are turning a new page in love in 2025.
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Dating men of higher social status shortened my tolerance for a lot of things I was convinced were normal. I blamed the universe for attracting undesirable men when it was my fault for allowing undesirable behavior. An interesting dichotomy between those guys and sugar daddies was the treatment I accepted.
It was easier to put my foot down with men of opulence because their privilege meant there was no limit to meeting my desires. Plus, recognizing my own worth made them (the good ones) want to treat me with the same high regard.
I’ll admit you don’t NEED to be an SB to enhance your dating style, but that’s the path I journeyed. It taught me how to be gracefully tough on men based on the simple fact that I’m invaluable. I’ll never convince anyone to be an SB, but feel free to pick a few gems I learned that might take your 2025 dating style to the next level.
Don’t overdo it by showing gratitude.
Let’s stop praising men for the bare minimum.
Yes, it’s okay to make a man feel affirmed but don’t let those affirmations come off too intensely, especially for things that require minimal effort. Don’t tell him about your ex never opening the passenger door for you, don’t brag about him being "The One" because he texted to make sure you got home safely, and most definitely don’t offer up the cat just because he paid a $150 dinner bill (give it because you want to, not out of obligation).
To be honest, I barely even say thank you when a man finds me attractive. “You are so beautiful.” I would respond, “Aww, you’re so sweet.” When he holds the door open, I graze his arm and smile.
Showing too much excitement about the bare minimum strokes his ego and draws a ceiling, which he doesn’t feel he needs to surpass. It tells him you’re not used to regular treatment, so you’ll be grateful for anything. Why do more than necessary? I like my men reflecting at the end of our date, thinking, “What can I do to impress her?”
Don’t stop having manners, though. Just keep it simple and move on.
There’s no such thing as “dating for potential.”
Hold my hand with this one.
There comes a time when the word “potential” shouldn’t be a part of your dating vocabulary. It’s nothing more than the encouragement of false hope. He’s not flaky with time because his schedule is too busy between balancing family and work. It’s because you’re not important enough to prioritize making time for.
He’s not stingy on dates because he’s having a rough time handling all his financial responsibilities. It’s because he’d rather spend his money on things that don’t involve you.
Trust me when I say men don’t date with potential in mind. Many of them hold themselves in very high regard with an “I can do better” mindset, and so should you. There’s A LOT of weight in the saying, “If he wanted to he would.” So stay away from Mr. Shoulda Coulda Woulda because, at the end of the day, he didn’t.
*P.S. If he ever says he doesn’t deserve you, he’s not being sheepishly humble. Take his word for it and run.
Do NOT be afraid to say no.
How many times have you put yourself through something you didn’t want to do based on feeling obligated? You compromised yourself in order to please the person you’re dating because it seemed like the easier option. Let me just remind you of the old saying, “Nothing good in life comes easy.”
I like comparing men to children, not to demean them but to draw similarities. Children often like to push and see how much they can get away with until the parent says no. Once you allow them to get away with one thing, they’ll nudge the limits to see how often they can skate by.
Dating is just like this. Get comfortable giving rejection. It can be an uncomfortable concept for some, so consider saying no and following it with a light reason. For example, “Do you want to come over and watch Netflix?” “No, I don’t feel comfortable going to strangers’ houses.” If his response is anything but understanding with a Plan B, on to the next.
Those boundaries were created to protect you. Any man who respects you will respect them too.
Don’t lay all your cards on the table.
When a man asks, “So what exactly are you looking for?” The vaguest response comes to mind.
It’s a common mistake to think men (not all) ask questions for unselfish reasons. That one, especially, is basically like asking for cheat codes to a game. Describing your idea of a perfect man, dating intentions, etc. allows him to know who he needs to morph himself into in order to get what he wants. Enter love bombing, physical intimacy, delusions of potential, then ghosting.
I’ve said the below on a few first dates and wasn’t surprised by how quickly the guys weeded themselves out.
"I’ve been having fun figuring things out as time goes on. There are times when I love going out to meet new people and times when I love cuddling up on the couch. It depends on how I’m feeling.”
I just said a whole lotta nothing, leaving it up to him to decipher. It’s open-ended, which forces him to show his intentions and let things play out naturally with as little manipulation as possible.
The first date defines how he views you.
This is where all those conversations leading up to this day come into play.
The perfect first date doesn’t only have to consist of 5-star dining and lavish wine collections. Those are merely perks. The perfect first date is valued based on how much effort he put in to show he’s been listening.
You’ve been dropping subtle hints that tulips are your favorite flowers. Did he show up empty-handed? You shared your discomfort with driving to far places at night. Did he book a 9 p.m. reservation somewhere 30 minutes away? You told him about your new venture into veganism. Did he take you to his favorite steakhouse?
These aren’t small things and they’re DEFINITELY not things for you to take on as a challenge. These could be easy signs of a life full of selfishness and laziness if shrugged off by the belief you should be satisfied with him making time for you.
Will taking my advice find you a husband faster? Who knows? But, ultimately, dating isn’t supposed to be an earnest search for a man. It should be a time of personal growth while sorting through experiences to find a partner who will appreciate the valuable woman you are.
Having high standards for yourself doesn’t make you difficult or unreasonable. To the right man, it definitely won’t make you undateable. Like I said before, nothing good in life comes easy.
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