

Every time that a new season rolls around, something I try and do is provide hair tips to help to prepare for it. Well, now that spring is officially here and I'm pretty sure that you're beyond ready to get out of your house a little bit more, I wanted to make sure that your hair is at its best, whenever you do. So below, you'll find 12 tips that can help your hair to look and feel its best; especially if you're looking to gain a few extra inches come Labor Day.
1. Get a Microfiber Towel for Curly Hair
If you don't treat your hair to anything else this spring season, make sure to cop yourself a microfiber towel. Using a microfiber towel for curly hair is dope because, not only does the material help to prevent snagging, but it also absorbs water without drying out your tresses, and doesn't leave any lint in your hair (a big plus) and it significantly reduces your chances of frizzing. Since it's getting warmer outside and you probably wanna rock more wash 'n go looks more often, all of this is really good to know. Home improvement stores and places like Target and Walmart carry them for a pretty reasonable price.
2. Exfoliate Your Scalp with Homemade Coffee Scrub for the Scalp
As I'm in the midst of my own hair journey, something that I have learned on a very personal level is, that the more I take care of my scalp, the more my hair is able to flourish. That's why I'm all about scalp exfoliation (check out "Treat Your Scalp To A Little Bit Of Detoxing This Weekend"). It removes dead skin cells. It helps to balance your scalp's pH levels. It unclogs hair follicles. It soothes the scalp (so that you can keep your hands out of your hair more). And, if you decide to exfoliate with coffee beans, it can actually stimulate hair growth. One reason why is because it's able to increase blood circulation to your scalp. Another reason is it contains antioxidants that are able to block DHT (Dihydrotestosterone) which is a hormone that sometimes causes hair loss.
If you'd like to exfoliate with a homemade coffee scrub for the scalp, simply combine three tablespoons of fresh coffee grounds with one tablespoon of brown sugar (it's a humectant; more on that in a sec), two teaspoons of olive oil (olive oil is also high in antioxidants) and a couple of drops of peppermint essential oil (it increases blood circulation, moisturizes and invigorates your scalp). Mix everything together and apply to your damp hair and scalp before shampooing or conditioning your hair. Gently massage your scalp for about five minutes, let the exfoliant sit for five more, rinse your hair with warm water and go on with your wash routine as usual. Your scalp will feel amazing!
3. Skip the Sulfates and Wash Your Curly Hair with Shampoo Bars
It has taken me a hot minute to find the best shampoo for my hair. I've shared before that, for me, shampoo bars are the lick. The ones that I've purchased on Etsy are all-natural and sulfate-free. Also, since they are a bar, I can basically massage my head while applying the shampoo. Shampoo bars are super concentrated with whatever ingredients that they contain. They're good for the environment (because there's nothing to throw away). And they get your hair really clean without totally drying them out.
You can find shampoo bars more and more at local beauty supply stores. As I said, though, Etsy is the lick. Just go to the site, put "shampoo bar" in the search field and you'll be able to read up on all kinds so that you can figure out which one works best for your personal hair needs.
4. Condition Your Hair with Canned Coconut Milk
I don't care how well you take care of your hair, if you're not conditioning it properly, it's never gonna thrive in the way that you truly want it to. Not only does conditioning your locks help to put moisture into them, but it also gives your hair extra sheen, increases its elasticity (so that it doesn't break as much when you're styling it), can reduce the trauma that color-treating your hair can cause and it can decrease the chances of hair damage too. If you'd prefer to go with an all-natural conditioner (so that you can keep a lot of unnecessary chemicals out of your hair), a must-add ingredient is coconut milk.
When it comes to our hair, specifically, coconut milk is high in lauric acid (which helps to strengthen your hair's cuticles). Our hair is made of protein (keratin) and coconut milk is high in it. Vitamins B, C, and E are all up in coconut milk. Some of the properties in coconut milk can actually help to slow down hair loss. The anti-inflammatory properties in coconut milk can soothe scalp irritation and dandruff. And the fatty acids in coconut milk can deeply condition your hair too.
Coconut milk also smells pretty nice in your hair, so if you want to try it as a deep conditioner for your hair, click here to check out a video on how to make it and here for instructions on how to DIY a leave-in option.
5. Use Some Humectants for Your Natural Hair in the Spring
One of the reasons why our hair can sometimes get really dry is our curls happen to be tighter than other ethnicities typically are. As a result, the natural sebum that our hair follicles produce is unable to easily flow down the entire strand of our hair. This is why it's so important to deep condition your hair every wash day. You also should look into adding some humectants to your hair as well. What are humectants and how can you apply them to your hair? Basically, humectants are products that help to pull moisture out from their air and into your hair (and skin). Honey is a humectant. Aloe Vera is a humectant. Vegetable glycerin is a humectant. Off of the top of my head, these are three ingredients that you can add to your shampoo, conditioner or put into a water bottle and lightly spray your hair with that can help to bring moisture to your hair, so that it doesn't feel dry and brittle.
6. Go Lighter with the Types of Hair Creams, Oils, and Butters You Use
Something that I'm a huge fan of is sealing my ends (check out "Top To Bottom: 10 Tips To Strengthen Your Hair Follicles & Protect Your Ends"). It's basically when you apply some type of hair cream or butter (shea butter is bomb) to your ends, after applying some oil to your hair, in order to seal in moisture on your wash day so that your ends break less. While sealing is something that you should do, no matter what time of year it may be, if you've been applying butters and creams to your hair over the fall and winter seasons in order to give your hair more moisture, you might wanna let up on them, just a bit, during the spring and summertime.
The warmer times of the month are usually when we want our hair to have a bit more movement. Besides, butters and creams can weigh your hair down. That's why you might wanna try a light oil instead. Sweet almond oil, grapeseed oil, jojoba oil, avocado oil, pomegranate oil, and argan oil are all potent moisturizers that don't leave a lot of residues behind.
7. Wet ‘n Define Your Curls
Now that it's getting warmer outside, you might want to wear a wash 'n go or twist out more often. If you want either look to last for more than a couple of days, the key is definition. When it comes to wearing a blowout, it's best if you allow your hair to dry about 60 percent before applying the heat of your blow dryer to it so that you don't end up frying your locks (don't forget to put some thermal heat protectant on your hair, by the way). On the other hand, if you want your curls to look as defined as possible, you're going to need to do the complete opposite—your hair needs to be wet, then apply your product, and then allow your hair to air dry.
I already know. This sometimes can take several hours, if not even a couple of days, based on how thick your hair is or how long it may be. Still, it really is the most effective way to get the look that you're after. And just what are some of the best products on the market to achieve the most optimal results? Naturally Curly has a list of 10 defining products that you can check out here. Caring for Natural Hair's site has some good tips for how to have a bangin' wash 'n go. You can check it out here.
8. DIY Your Own Hair Mousse
When it comes to what can give your curls the kind of definition that you're after, it's important that you avoid hair products that contain alcohol. That's because alcohol can dry your hair out and ultimately lead to breakage. So, what should you do? Well, a healthy alternative is to make your own hair mousse. Mousse is great because it is able to protect your strands while reducing frizz and giving them a good amount of definition in the process. If this is something that you want to try, again, check out Naturally Curly's "3 All-Natural (Firm Hold) Curl Styler Recipes". It's got a recipe that's easy to make and makes your hair look and feel pretty amazing.
9. Keep a Rosewater Hair Spritz as a Moisturizer/Conditioner for Your Curls
If you're someone who lets your soul glow by wearing an Afro most of the time, something that you might want to keep close by is some rosewater spritz. Personally, I'm such a fan of it that I actually shouted it out in an article on how to heal dry skin too (you can check it out here). Off top, you can probably guess that rosewater is the ultimate moisturizer/conditioner. And indeed it is.
Rosewater is also really good for your hair because 1) it helps to keep calcium build-up in tap water from damaging your hair; 2) it can help to remove dandruff flakes; 3) it soothes your scalp if it is irritated or inflamed; 4) it reduces frizzing and 5) it adds shine. Something else that's great about rosewater is if you use it as a spritz in your hair, the scent of it can actually help to decrease symptoms that are related to headaches and migraines (how cool is that?).
If you want to make some of your own from the comfort and convenience of your own home, check out this video and this video for step-by-step tutorials.
10. Pull Out the Hair Accessories
Hair has décor trends, just like anything else does. So, why not get into some of the hair accessories that have already proven to be really popular this year? Some of them include super-wide, braided and beaded headbands; vintage scarves (like literally tying them underneath your chin); hats with wide brims; either really small or super large hair clips; pearly hair claws; putting multiple hair pins in your hair at one time (like on the back when you're rocking a low ponytail); black ribbons and, of course, flowers.
11. Get on Top of the 2021 Hair Trends
When it's cold outside, we're oftentimes rocking hats and wrapping our hair up in scarves in order to protect it from the harsh winds and bitter chilly temps. Now that the weather is milder, it's time to put our hair up into some trends, don't you think? Some popular ones for 2021 include Bantu knots, long braids and twists, layered textured bobs, bangs, and "messy hair" (which is basically just adding a little bit of product to whatever your natural texture is and letting your hair do whatever it wants to do).
For the most part, what it basically boils down to is "less is more". Just make sure that if you go with a protective style that you read "This Is How To Know Your Protective Style Ain't Workin'" beforehand. There's no point in rockin' one if it's ultimately gonna damage your natural hair in the process.
12. Enjoy Wearing Your Hair Out More
A woman by the name of Jessica Harrelson once said, "Spring adds new life and new beauty to all that is." I definitely believe that there is a lot of truth to this. So, let this be the season when you fully embrace your hair's texture and, even if it's just on the weekends, that you enjoy wearing it out more. After all, your hair is your crown, right? Let the sun kiss it. Take some pictures outdoors. Let everyone see how gorgeous your curls truly are. Allow your tresses to…fully bloom!
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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I’ve gotta say that, for the most part, my friends are pretty damn chill. There is one (major) exception, though — and it’s an odd one. Even after all these years and countless times of me giving them the same answer, if there is a time when they think they are my mama, it’s when they see an email come through at an odd hour of the night. Then, all of a sudden, here they come asking me when do I get sleep if I’m emailing at (say) three in the morning.
Again, the answer never changes because, if there is one thing that Shellie Reneé Warren is gonna get, it’s 6-8 (sometimes nine) hours of sleep. However, since my chronotype (check out “Ever Wonder What Personality Traits Make Someone A 'Morning Person'?”) means that I like/prefer to write in the wee hours of the morning, sometimes I will sleep for the night for five hours and take a nap in the day. And y’all, that is just fine with me because I am well aware of the fact that napping does everything from give me more energy, heighten my alertness and even make me more creative to decrease stress levels, strengthen immunity, and reduce my chances of experiencing a heart attack or stroke.
My problem is I will oftentimes go “overboard” with my daytime zzz’s. What I mean by that is, in order to get the most out of a nap, they say thatyou shouldn’t sleep for longer than 25 minutes or so; otherwise, you could wake up feeling sluggish (I don’t but…). Also, it can make resting, soundly, at night a bit of a struggle.
So, what are you saying, Shellie? We should get quickies in? Yeah. And it’s funny that the word “quickie” would come up because just like a sex quickie can do wonders for you (and it can — check out “12 Super Solid Reasons To Have A Quickie Every Single Day”), it’s a full-circle moment when I say that something that can improve the quality of your sex life is to have a power nap (a nap that lasts between 10-30 minutes).
Wanna know how the two things correlate? Honestly, it’s no secret that sleep and sex work together to optimize both (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”). Today, though, we’re going to tap into how a nap, specifically, can have you partaking in some of the best sex that you’ve experienced in a minute. I’ll explain.
Naps Reduce Stress
If you’re feeling super stressed out right now, you are not alone. There is plenty of data out here that says that most of us are stressed for at least a couple of reasons at a time — and that can impact your sexual health on a few levels. For one thing, it can bring about feelings of depression and/or anxiety. Stress can also throw your hormone levels off (including your cycle) which can weaken your libido. Stress can make you want to put distance between you and your partner (yes, literally).
Stress can also make it challenging to get aroused or to have an orgasm. And just what can help to decrease stress? Taking a nap. Since sleep has a way of helping you to “get off of the clock” and relax a bit, that can lower your stress levels and “reset” your body so that you are calmer — and that, in turn, can do wonders for your sex drive and ultimately your sex life.
Naps Improve Your Mood
There is one person in my life, and fairly 80 percent of the time, she’s in a super good mood. Oh, but let that girl go without sleep, and…who is this woman? LOL. There’s research behind why this happens. When a person is sleep-deprived, it messes with their brain chemicals, and that can amplify emotions like anger, restlessness and sadness. In fact, one study revealed that people who had their sleep disrupted throughout the night, they ended up having their positive outlook on life reduced by about 30 percent.
And geeze, who wants to have sex when they’re not feeling very good? Anyway, since serotonin is a neurotransmitter that helps to regulate your moods, your sleep patterns, and your libido and sleep is what helps to keep it in balance — by taking a nap, not only can it help you to feel better, it can also increase your desire for sex (it can also build up your endurance which is also…sexually beneficial).
Naps Increase Your Focus and Concentration
Something that some of my clients bring up is how, when it comes to having sex, sometimes the flesh is willing while the spirit is weak because, although the desire for intimacy is there, so much is going on that they aren’t able to get still enough to focus on experiencing copulation with their partner. This also tracks because, when you don’t have enough rest, your brain finds itself not working in harmony and that can make it hard to do everything from approaching life with a sense of flexibility to making necessary decisions.
Certain data also reveal that a lack of rest can cause you to have a really poor attention span and not process things in context (the more you know). So, if you really want to get some yet it’s hard for you to focus long enough to make it happen, ask your bae to lie down with you and take a nap. Between the sleep and the snuggling (check out “Fall's Coming: 8 Wonderful Health Benefits Of Cuddling”) — you may wake up with your mind and body totally on the same page. #wink
Naps Can Make You Feel Better About Your Body
Even if, overall, you feel really good about your body, I think that we all have moments when we feel less attractive than others — and who wants to have sex when they don’t really feel…very sexy? Well, something else that sleep, in general, can do is increase your confidence in your body.
For one thing, if you want to lose a few pounds, sleep can actually make that happen by helping your body metabolize the glucose (sugar) that’s in it so that you can better manage your appetite. Other studies go on to share that since sleep deprivation can impact one’s mental health and emotional stability in a negative way, of course, getting enough rest would increase body positivity.
Shoot, science even goes so far as to say that insomnia can cause people to have an elevated level of dissatisfaction when it comes to their body image. Don’t take their word for it, though. Look in the mirror before a nap. Then look in a mirror after waking up from me. Do you feel better? I’d be surprised if you don’t.
Makes Your Brain Bigger…Which Could Make Your Orgasms Better
I saved the best for last by design. Now if you’re wondering how in the world a nap can improve (and possibly increase) your orgasms — oh, there is a method to the madness…trust. For starters, the saying that your biggest sex organ is your brain? That isn’t a myth. Long story less long, the brain is what houses your central nervous system and that is what controls how men and women sexually function (yes, literally).
And since the brain also releases feel-good chemicals like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin during sex and brain activity significantly increases in women during sexual activity (especially right before she orgasms) — well, would it trip you out to know that when you take a nap, your brain actually expands? A bigger brain (that’s healthy) can potentially intensify your sexual experiences (and your climaxes) — and who doesn’t want that to go down?
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Like I said earlier, I never have to be convinced to get a nap in. However, if your sex life has been a bit stagnant lately, you’ve been feeling a little sluggish and you’re not sure what to do — I’m hoping that a nap can get you right.
There’s enough science to prove that it can. All you need to do is give it a shot.
Now where’s your pillow and sleep mask, chile?
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