

As someone who spent a few years living with her great-grandmother as an adolescent, a great-grand who insisted on giving cooking lessons on the weekends (whether I liked it or not), I know that my age (46 in June) is totally showing when I say that it floors me, how many women 1) don't cook and 2) could care less. As a marriage life coach, you might think that it has to do with domestication, but actually, as a single woman, I don't get why a lot of women don't want to do it for themselves. Cooking saves money. Cooking allows you to customize your dishes to make them just like you want it. Cooking is healthier too. But between a lot of the ladies who I personally know, along with an article I read that said 63 percent of millennials don't know what a butter knife looks like, 60 percent don't know how to make salad dressing and 25 percent don't know how to make a birthday cake from a box—I just know that the spirit of my late great-grandmother would want me to do something.
Now, if you're someone who is like, "Whatever, Shellie. Postmates was designed with me in mind," hey, do you, girl. But if you hate to cook but it's mostly because you never really learned how and you're totally overwhelmed at the thought of figuring out where to start, here are 10 hacks that could, in time, bring you to conclusion that you like your own homemade meals more than you thought you ever would.
1. Invest in Some Solid Cooking Utensils
As someone who cooks, pretty much on a daily basis, I can tell you, straight up, that cooking is gonna suck for you if all you're working with is a frying pan, one cake pan and a mixing bowl. Yeah, you definitely need some utensils in your arsenal in order to make things easier for you. So, what should you have in your kitchen?
- A good set of knives
- A cutting board
- A set of measuring cups and spoons
- A variety of mixing bowls (different sizes)
- A non-stick skillet (and eventually an iron cast one too)
- Small and large saucepans
- A vegetable peeler
- A meat mallet
- A slow cooker
- A colander
- Some wire whisks (they also come in different sizes)
- A pizza pan
- A few baking sheets
- A glass casserole dish
- An electric mixer
- A blender
I already know that some of y'all read that and was like, "See, that's why I don't feel like cooking in the first place. Just look at that list." But no one is saying that you've got to get everything at the same time. Plus, a lot of these items are not very expensive at all; many, you can even cop at the grocery store. And again, I promise you, if you've got them in your possession, it will make cooking (almost) a breeze. (By the way, this list pretty much only scratches the surface. If you want to check out more things that a lot of regular cooks own, check out "Essentials List: 71 of the Best Kitchen Cookware, Utensils, Tools & More".)
2. Accept That Prepping Is Probably What Bothers You Most
I won't lie to you. When it comes time for me to make something, if anything makes me roll my eyes, it's the prepping part (well that and sometimes all of the clean-up that's required). In fact, if you are a recipe-reading kind of person (I'm not so much), you might notice that the prep time can take as long as the cooking time, if not longer. But again, if you've got the right cooking tools, that can take a lot of the stress out.
Some other things that can make prepping easier include—reading recipes in their entirety before you begin; not feeling like you've always got the peel the skin of fruits and veggies (squash, sweet potatoes and carrots are just some of the foods that taste great with the skin on, if you roast them); making sure your pans are hot rather than cold before putting your ingredients into them; cooking dried beans in mineral water (they'll cook faster that way if you do) and definitely cleaning up as you go.
Oh, and if chopping fruits and veggies is what you absolutely loathe the most, I've got a couple of DIY videos that can offer you a couple of tips and tricks. The fruit one is here; the veggie one is here. You can also gain some basic knife skills here.
3. Don’t Procrastinate
If all you do is lay around, saying to yourself that you hate cooking, not only is that going to program your mind to always have that mindset but you're not gonna get anything done. A way to avoid procrastinating is to schedule a window in your day when you're going to cook. For most (beginner's) meals, all you need is 60-90 minutes, tops. When you think about the money you're about to save (because cooking is cheaper than eating out), how much healthier the meal will be over restaurant dining, and the pride that you will feel for making it yourself, it will definitely be time well spent.
4. "Cook Like Costco"
What the heck do I mean by "cook like Costco"? I've got people in my world who treat Costco like it's Six Flags or something. Of course, they like it so much because they can buy in bulk which makes things so much more convenient. Well, if you know that you hate to cook, why not "cook in bulk"? What I mean by that is, rather than torturing yourself by setting out to prepare homemade meals on a daily basis, instead, choose a day to knock out 3-4 dishes. For instance, right now, I've got some mac 'n cheese, some fajita meat and a casserole in my fridge. For the mac, all I need to do is heat up some veggies and maybe bake some chicken breasts (which is nothing). For the fajita meat, I just need to pull out my tortillas and add some diced tomatoes, black beans, lettuce and cheese. The casserole can basically stand on its own. Whatever I want to eat, I can just warm it up in the oven and I'm good to go. I don't have to think about cooking again—unless I want to—for another 3-4 days or so.
5. Start with Super Simple Recipes
Don't be out here feeling like you've got to be a four-star chef overnight. That is putting more stress on yourself than you need to. Shoot, just recently, I watched a video on how to make some butter swim biscuits. Not only did they only require seven ingredients, they were super easy to make too. So was the end result of a smothered cabbage (without pork) recipe video. Oh, and something else that was fun to make is "Popeyes Chicken Sandwich/Copycat Recipes". As far as finding recipes online, all you need to do is go to your favorite search engine and put "easy recipes" in the search field; you will find a ton. Or, you can do something that I think will be a lot more enjoyable for you. I'll get to that in the next point.
6. Watch a Monitor While You Do It
All of the recipes that I just referenced? They weren't written recipes; they were videos. When you are watching an expert breakdown how to prepare a particular dish, it can make following along so much easier (the time will go by faster too). YouTube is chocked full of video recipes (including ones by Black chefs and master cooks). All you need to do is position your laptop or smartphone next to you and "play and pause" as you go along.
7. Try a New Dish Each Week
There are a few people in my life who absolutely hate leftovers. As a marriage life coach (and journalist), I like to dig beneath the surface. Come to find out, some of them do because they were poor growing up and had to eat the same stuff over and over again. In response to that information, sometimes I will look for something new and/or exotic to make for them. It can make cooking even more fun and rewarding for the preparer as well as the one who is eating what's been made.
If one of the main reasons why you hate to cook is because you find it to be BORING, challenge yourself by deciding to take on a new kind of dish every week. If nothing else, it will encourage you to do something that you never have before. You might even be pleasantly surprised by the end results.
8. Entertain Yourself
Unless you just totally suck at multi-tasking, use your cooking time to binge-watch a television program or watch a movie. Or you can put on one of your favorite Spotify playlists. Or you can put your phone on speaker and catch-up with a friend or two. No one said that being a good cook means that you have to move around in silence or that you've got to bore yourself to tears. By entertaining yourself in the process, you won't even notice how much you're getting done. Before you know it, your meal will be ready.
9. Find Your “Incentive”
Your incentive for cooking more can kind of run the gamut. Maybe you want to save money. Maybe you want to eat healthier. Maybe you want to get your nosey auntie who brings up the fact that you can't cook at every family function off of your back. Maybe you want to impress your girlfriends. Or, maybe you want to surprise someone special in your life (because few things are more romantic than a candlelight dinner or indoor picnic at home). Whatever it is, by having an actual incentive, that can motivate and inspire you to cook; even if not daily, at least more often than you currently do.
10. Reward Yourself
Reward means "something given or received in return or recompense for service, merit, hardship, etc." and yeah, if you hate to cook, doing it can feel like a straight-up hardship; at least for a while. If you decide to push through and make some homemade dishes anyway, reward yourself for doing that.
Pick up your favorite bottle of wine. Get a dessert that you really like. Do something that will make you feel good about the decision that you made to DIY some dishes. Once you've got a month down of cooking some stuff, even if it's just one meal a week, I'm thinking that you'll start to have a more positive outlook on it. Hey, my great-grandma and your auntie will at least be happy. Baby steps, sis. Baby steps.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Your April 2025 Horoscopes Are All About Softening Into Love & Speaking Your Truth
April is a month to slow down and to fully grasp what has been. The month starts in fiery Aries Season, but we are also in the thick of Retrograde Season as we begin the month as well. Thankfully, Mercury finally goes direct on April 7, after being retrograde mid-March, and communication matters are clearing up. This is a month of mental clarity, a fresh start, and not being afraid to dream a little bigger.
On April 12, there is a Full Moon in Libra, and this Full Moon brings relationship and financial matters full circle. This is the time to let go of what doesn’t make you feel balanced or in harmony and to create space for more peace to enter your life. Venus goes direct in Pisces on the same day, after being retrograde since March 1, and love is healing. With Venus now direct, there are more opportunities for commitment and longevity in love, and there is overall a greater feeling of romance, receptivity, and compassion in the air now.
Mercury enters Aries from April 16 until May 10, and what you were trying to see through or understand better while Mercury was retrograde here last month, you are experiencing a breakthrough now. Mercury in Aries is insightful and courageous, and people are more likely to speak their minds and initiate conversation with this energy. Mars then enters Leo from April 18 until June 17, reminding us that sometimes it’s okay to be a little more selfish and to focus on what you need right now. Mars in Leo brings forth confidence, creativity, and passion, and brings an exciting energy to charge of your life and advocate for yourself.
Taurus Season officially begins on April 19, bringing some earth sign energy into the mix, grounding and nurturing what you are creating in your life right now. On April 27, we have a New Moon in Taurus, and this is an abundant and fruitful New Moon. This is one of the best New Moons of the year for you to set your intentions for your financial world and a time for seeing new opportunities for abundance. On the last day of the month, Venus moves into Aries until June 6th, and love requires a little more passion, independence, and excitement during this time.
Overall, April is a month of feeling things through, taking more intuitive risks, investing in yourself, and balancing your needs with the needs of your relationships.
Read for your sun and rising sign below to see what April has in store for you.
ARIES
April is your month to shine, Aries. With the chaos of March now over, you are starting to see the progress of where life is and how everything has turned out even better than you were expecting. The month begins with the Sun in your 1st house of self, and you are feeling more confident, courageous, and in tune with yourself. With a Full Moon in your sister sign on April 12, relationships are also coming full circle for you now, and you are claiming your peace this month.
Mercury finally goes direct on April 7 and then enters your sign from April 16 to May 10, and this is going to clear up any miscommunications that you have been through. With Mercury now in your sign, your conversations are lively, your mind is inspiring, and you are thinking one step ahead. Before the month ends, Venus enters your sign from April 30 to June 6, and love is also moving forward for you now. Overall, this is a month where you are experiencing some happy outcomes and loyal support.
TAURUS
April is a month of passion and purpose, Taurus. You are living in your abundance, and are focused on valuing yourself and the things you are bringing to fruition right now. Venus, your ruling planet, goes direct on March 12 after being retrograde in your financial house since March 1, and you are moving into the month experiencing more opportunities and also feeling more respected in what you are accumulating for yourself and standing your ground on.
Taurus Season officially begins on April 19, and it’s all about you right now. This Taurus Season is smoothing things out for you in love, with new relationship developments unfolding and life flourishing for you. The New Moon this month is in your sign on April 27, it’s time for a new beginning. You are truly embracing your strength in April, making things happen for yourself, and no longer doubting your future and what is possible for you.
GEMINI
This month is all about the options becoming available to you now, Gemini. With your ruling planet Mercury going direct at the beginning of the month on April 7, you no longer feel as held back or out of place as you may have in the past weeks. With Mercury now direct, your thinking is clearer, and you are seeing the opportunities in your career and professional world that you may have missed before.
The more you can embrace your authenticity, the less time you will spend doubting how others perceive you, remember that this month.
On April 12, there is a Full Moon in Libra, highlighting the romance in your life and bringing forth understanding and compassion within your close relationships. You are letting go of old attachments or self-doubts that haven’t been serving your love life, and are growing closer to your own heart in the process. Before April comes to an end, Mars enters your 3rd house of communication, and you are overall leaving the month focused on your progress, your vision, and taking up space because you deserve to.
CANCER
This month is all about balancing your time and energy wisely, Cancer. You are being reminded not to overwork or overwhelm yourself in April, and to focus on doing the things that are within your control right now. The Sun is in your 10th house of career for most of the month so you are feeling really passionate about the things you are developing in your life right now, but it’s all about finding the right balance between your personal goals and your needs in your relationships as well.
The Full Moon in Libra on April 12 will be a time to devote your energy to self-care, close loved ones, and overall getting some time to decompress. You are ready to let go of the things that don’t make you feel safe or nurtured and are receiving an emotional renewal right now. The New Moon in Taurus at the end of the month is a time to focus on your intentions on your community, friendships, and aspirations in life, and to pay attention to where you can create more abundance here.
LEO
Things are turning around for you for the better, Leo. April is a dynamic month, and you are owning your inner alchemist. With a Full Moon in your 3rd house of communication on April 12, you are getting the messages you have been looking for and the mental clarity you have found is bringing closure to some of your close relationships. This month is about being flexible and trusting the changes that are happening for you right now.
On April 18, Mars enters your sign until June 17, and this is huge for you. You began the year with Mars retrograde in your sign, so you are getting the opportunity now, to rewrite some of the things that weren’t working for you at the beginning of the year. You are overcoming previous obstacles, and experiencing a breakthrough in your life this month. Before April ends, there is a New Moon in Taurus, highlighting your career, reputation, and professional life. This is a good New Moon to set your intentions for what goals you want to come to fruition for you now.
VIRGO
This month is all about building new foundations in your life, Virgo. You are feeling more supported and in tune with your own inner needs and interests, and it’s bringing you closer to people and systems that resonate. Your ruling planet Mercury goes direct this month on April 7 after being retrograde for the past few weeks; bringing more clarity, understanding, and compassion to your partnerships in life. You are focused on love this month and are working together with others to make your dreams come true.
Mid-month, Mars moves into your 12th house of closure and endings, and there is a journey of healing that you experience until June 17. You are motivated to understand yourself better and are looking at the past more right now in order to do so. This is a month of recovering and healing from what has been, for new foundations to be built upon. The New Moon on April 27 is a beautiful way to end the month, as you are getting glimpses of a new, abundant, adventure that is ahead of you.
LIBRA
This is a big month of closure for you, Libra. The Sun is in your 7th house of love for most of April, and your heart is in the right place. With Venus, your ruling planet, going direct on April 12 after being retrograde since March 1, you are finally able to take a breath. You are not experiencing as many obstacles when it comes to communication matters and you are feeling like you have the tools you need to move forward right now.
The Full Moon of the month is in your sign on April 12, and you are ready to let go of what isn’t working for you. You have been through a lot recently and have gained the clarity you need to let go of old attachments. Venus moves into your house of love before the month ends, and you are leaving the month feeling more in tune with where things are moving forward for you, rather than what you are leaving behind. Your heart moves through a journey in April, and your emotions are showing you a lot.
SCORPIO
April is a month of success, progress, and dreams coming to fruition, Scorpio. You are focused on your health, your priorities, and creating space for the new beginnings that you are creating in your life right now. The Full Moon mid-month is a big closure moment for you, and you are owning the fact that you have healed and you are no longer the same person you were in the past. This is a month of stepping into your power and feeling supported in doing so.
Mid-month, Mars enters your 10th house of career and public life and you are shining within your purpose. Over the next month and a half, you are going to be gaining some new opportunities that will be serving your professional life and goals. This is the month to show up and to let your skills, talents, and authenticity shine. On April 17, there is a New Moon in your opposite sign, Taurus, and you are leaving the month with some pleasant surprises in store for you in love as well.
SAGITTARIUS
April is a new beginning for you, Sagittarius. You are focused on putting the action and effort behind your goals, and you are being proactive within the opportunities that you are looking for right now. With a Full Moon in your 11th house of aspirations mid-month, you are letting go of the way you thought things would play out for you and are owning a more abundant version of things.
On April 27, there is a New Moon in Taurus, which will be highlighting your health and what your body needs more of right now. This is a New Moon to set your intentions for your everyday life and to create a new, beneficial routine that will make things easier for you at the end of the day. Before the month ends, Venus enters your 9th house of adventure, and you are leaving the month with your sights set high. Travel plans are likely, and this is a good time to create some new plans for yourself.
CAPRICORN
April is about putting one step in front of the other with patience and dedication and trusting the decisions you are making for yourself right now, Capricorn. The Sun is in your 4th house for most of the month, and you are yearning for your safe spaces, comfort foods, and loyal people. Giving yourself more time to decompress, take care of yourself, and ground your energy is essential this month.
Mars enters your 8th house of transformation mid-month and will be fueling your need for some change, excitement, and emotional rejuvenation over the next month and a half. You are entering an impactful moment of the year for you, and you are motivated toward change right now. The New Moon at the end of the month is in a fellow earth sign, highlighting the romantic new beginnings you are entering now. Overall, this month is a process, and you are opening new doors while finding gratitude in what is here for you now.
AQUARIUS
April is about giving yourself time to process, accept, and gain a new perspective, Aquarius. You are being guided towards friendship, connection, and community, and are understanding what may be creating the discord in your life that has been distancing you from that. The Full Moon this month is happening in Libra on April 12, and you are ready to let go of feeling like you have to do it all at once or all alone. This month is a reminder to take your time with all the experiences you want to have, trusting that they will come to fruition for you.
Mars enters your house of love and partnership on April 18, and you enter a passionate and steamy time. Romance is in the air for you as you move through the month, and you are spending more of your time with those who you want to move forward with. Venus also moves into a relationship area of your chart before April ends, and you are surrounded by love and community. Overall, this month is showing you that you are not alone and you don’t have to go through the heavy stuff alone either.
PISCES
This is a month where your heart is shining, and you are feeling in tune with the progress you have made in your life and within your relationships, Pisces. You are owning your value, your worth, and the beauty of who you are, and are ready to leave the past behind. With Mercury and Venus both going direct in Pisces this month after being retrograde in your sign for the past few weeks, you are in a better space than you have been, and there are fewer obstacles and miscommunications in your life.
You have been through a journey of understanding yourself better through your goals, perspectives, and interests, and have been committing yourself to your authenticity. On April 27, there is a New Moon in Taurus happening, and this New Moon is a good time for communication matters, getting your message across, and for your creative pursuits. With the clarity you feel within your mind and heart right now, you are making a lot of progress in April and feeling pleased with where life is headed.
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Tia Mowry Is "Doing Everything But Worrying" About Being Single Right Now — And TBH, Same.
Tia Mowry is in her self-empowered, healing era and letting the world know that being single in her 40s isn't something to be feared: It's something to be celebrated.
In a recent Instagram Reel, the 46-year-old The Game alum shared a montage of her life post-divorce: parenting her two children, Cree and Cairo, pouring into her haircare brand, getting glam for events, spending time with her village, and simply enjoying her own company. Her text overlay of choice? “Doing everything but worrying about being single in my 40s.”
And our good sis didn't stop there. Alongside the Reel, she included a refreshingly honest caption:
"There’s this stigma that we shouldn’t be single in our 40s, like thriving on your own isn’t an option. At one point, I thought the idea of being ‘alone’ was scary… but now that I’m here? I’m not scared anymore.
After a 22-year relationship and a divorce that was finalized in April 2023 from actor Cory Hardrict, Tia has been navigating a new normal. And while she’s not afraid to admit that loneliness happens, she’s also redefining what fulfillment looks like on her own terms. In her words:
"I’d be lying if I said I’ve never felt lonely, but it happens. Because I love LOVE! But that’s not the only thing we should measure our happiness on, or the only thing that defines us. And we definitely shouldn’t stress over whatever timeline has been forced on us."
Her reflections echo a deeper part of her healing journey she has been super transparent and forthcoming about the ebbs and flows of. As she shared in an episode of her WE TV reality series that aired last year, Tia Mowry: My Next Act:
"So it’s been about a year and a half since I got a divorce, and I am slowly learning who I am. I came into this world with a twin… and right after that, I went into a 22-year relationship, so I have never been alone in my life.
In the same episode, she also got candid about the emotions that come with co-parenting, even when done healthily. After dropping off her 6-year-old daughter Cairo at Cory’s house, Tia got emotional during her confessional interview, saying tearfully:
"I feel like one of the hardest things that I’ve had to adapt to, is dropping my kids off at their dad’s house. I’ve always wanted the family dynamic of having a mom and a dad in one household. And when you’re dropping your kids off, you actually, visually see how that is no longer."
But what her latest post so beautifully reminds us is that healing doesn’t have to look like rushing to fill a void, it can look like learning to sit with yourself, like yourself, and accept yourself. After years of defining parts of herself through her closest relationships, first as a twin, and then later as a wife, Tia is finally learning what it means to be her own anchor.
She’s nurturing herself, pouring back into her own cup, discovering what lies on the other side of fear, and sharing the wisdom with others that comes along with that inner work. Speaking of which, Tia had one more bar to deliver before closing out her post as she concluded her caption, "So whether you find yourself single in your 20s, 30s, 40s, or even 50s… just know, we’re all going to be OK."
Poetry snaps, chile.
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