

"The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it."—J. M. Barrie
Question: If someone were to walk up to you right at this very moment and ask you what the word "confident" meant, what would you say? Would you say something along the lines of it means to love yourself? Would you associate it with being a positive person? Or maybe a fearless one? Personally, I think those are some of the results of confidence, but the best way to describe it is you are sure of yourself.
It sounds simple enough, right? Maybe simple but definitely not easy. If you're sure of yourself, it means that you don't doubt yourself. If you're sure of yourself, it also means that you're confident, reliable and stable ("stable" is a big one). If you're sure of yourself, more times than not, you move with accuracy and precision, without hesitation or uncertainty. You're also intentional about making decisions that will not bring harm or danger to you or others.
Like I said, confident isn't the easiest thing on the planet to be but man, once you're able to master it, you are literally able to rock this world, in the most profound and powerful ways possible.
Are you ready to learn how to be (more) confident? Here are 10 examples of how confident people live their lives each and every day.
10 Signs Of Truly Confident People
1. Confident People Make Bold Moves
I dig words. "Bold" is one of my favorite ones. Bold people speak their mind. Bold people take risks. Bold people step up to challenges. Bold people don't hesitate to do what is best for them. Bold people define success on their own terms. Bold people don't let their past, their flaws or even their issues stop them. Bold people make history.
To tell you the truth, not everyone likes a bold person. They can come off abrasive and even pushy, at times. But that's the cool thing about them. Most of the time, they're too busy walking in their boldness as they're on their way to greatness to notice or care what other people think.
2. Confident People Can Take Criticism
On the heels of the first point, this doesn't mean that confident people are arrogant or narcissistic. Trust me, over these past few months, I've done more research on narcissism than I ever thought I would (The Royal We is a great YouTube channel on the topic). What I've come to the conclusion of is arrogance and narcissism are false (and toxic) imitations of confidence. The reason why I say that is because if you can't ever be told about yourself, if you can't receive things that you need to hear in order to mature and grow, you are being the mere opposite of confidence.
People who are truly secure in themselves are constantly wanting to evolve, including when it comes to their character. If that requires hearing some hard things about their faults and flaws, so be it. They can take it because they know it will only make them better individuals in the long run.
3. Confident People Are Able to Control Their Emotions
Pop offs. People with tunnel vision. Individuals who constantly react to their triggers. Negative folks. People who stew in their feelings. Something that all of these folks have in common is they usually don't know how to control their emotions. Contrary to what a lot of people think, while sometimes we can't control how we feel, what we can do is control how we respond and react as the direct result of those feelings.
Confident people have the ability to think past the moment they are in. Not only that but they like the sense of stability; this includes emotional stability. So, rather than always letting their feelings dictate what they should or shouldn't do, they prefer to think matters through, apply common sense and woosah themselves off of the ledge of a potential poor decision instead.
At the end of the day, for a confident person, their peace of mind is more important than emotionally reacting (or overreacting) to everyone and everything all of the time.
4. Confident People Like Affirmations. Dislike Gossip.
I'm not sure social media would exist (at least at the level that it does) and I definitely know celebrity blogs wouldn't if we all didn't have even a little bit of interest in gossip. However, confident people can only take so much of it, whether it's true or not (because gossip isn't always salacious; sometimes it's just info that is absolutely none of our business). One reason is because they don't like to hear a lot of negativity. Another reason is because, whenever they do catch wind of some, they are typically thinking, "I could be doing a lot of other things rather than listening to this information that's not gonna change my life one way or another."
Affirmations, on the other hand, they're all about those. That's because it's all about making people feel better, lifting them higher and putting good energy into the universe. Yep, you will hear confident people do more affirming than gossiping, more times than not. You can bet on that.
5. Confident People Don't Need Everyone to Like (or Get) What They're Doing
My friends know that I don't give the "don't judge me" stance much energy. Any time I hear someone say that, I think about back when I used to be a judge for the Titans cheerleader competitions back in the day. The only women who had a problem with the judges' "judgment" were the ones who lost.
And you know what? The main people who don't like judgment, in the general sense, are those who get mad when someone doesn't like what they are doing. Like if they wear an outfit and someone tells them how dope they look, they don't mind that judgment. But let someone tell them that they look a hot mess and suddenly, they don't want to be judged.
Confident folks? You can like or not like what they wear, say or do. They aren't doing it for the applause or approval of others, so it doesn't shake them one way or another. When you can function without a pep rally or parade, pat yourself on the back. You've got quite a bit of confidence, whether you realize it or not.
6. Confident People Are Unapologetic About Their Boundaries
Not too long ago, I was telling someone that if you set a boundary and someone asks you to explain—which is really more like justify—it, that's a clear sign that they already don't respect it.
Boundaries don't require an explanation. If you want to give one, that's a courtesy—no more, no less.
That said, sometimes confident individuals can come off as cocky because they'll say "no" to something without elaborating or compromising. But the truth of the matter is, they are simply honoring their own limits. If you just read that and totally got it, you're probably a confident person. But if you read that and felt some type of way, confidence, at least in this particular area, is probably something you could stand to work on.
7. Confident People Are Genuinely Happy for People's Progress
A wise man once said, "Envy is about counting someone else's blessings instead of your own." Confident people don't know anything about this because they understand that someone else's wins do not prevent them from having some as well, even if they are a different kind and come in a different season.
One of my closest friends models this to me very well. Once upon a time, Rissi was a really well-known Black country musician; now she's a soul artist and activist in her own right (check out her "Seeds" video sometime; it's dope!). Whenever she hears of other Black country artists rising (like Jimmie Allen; he's cool people, so I had to shout him out!) or anyone in general doing their thing, she is the first to clap and get excited for them. No backhanded compliments. No comparing. None of that. Just sheer joy.
Only truly confident people can put out the kind of energy that has a non-compete clause. For real, for real.
8. Confident People Can (and Do) Admit When They Are Wrong
It takes a very insecure person to know they are wrong and still try and find ways to sidestep or deflect from that very fact. Folks who think that they are always right or somehow think that making mistakes and acknowledging them is a sign of weakness? They are people who have a very low level of confidence.
Confidence isn't about being perfect or having all of the answers. Confidence is about having such a strong sense of self that, even when you mess up, you're strong enough to admit that, right your wrongs and try again. You see errors also as a sign of growth; especially when you are able to learn from them. And since confident people are all about growth…there you go.
9. Confident People Hate Stagnation
Remember how I said that confidence is about being sure of yourself? When you're in that kind of head and heart space, failure doesn't scare you. And because it doesn't, you are totally open to taking risks, trying new things and being a trailblazer rather than a follower. In fact, you'd rather fail miserably and know that you tried than stick to a formula or routine just so you won't have to step outside of your comfort zone.
Stagnation can be a really ugly word because it's hard to thrive, personally or professionally, when you're not developing or evolving. Confident people know this. That's why they are always taking steps forward. Small or big doesn't matter to them. Just so long as they do it.
10. Confident People Celebrate Themselves
Something else that's super cool about confident people is that they don't wait for other people to acknowledge them. If they know that they went above and beyond with a project at work, they take their own selves out for a drink. If no one else remembers their birthday, that's fine because they had a spa day planned weeks ahead of schedule. If they set a goal and reach it, you may or may not see them talk about it on social media. They are too focused on what's next to do a ton of bragging.
If you're someone who is in the habit of celebrating yourself, I commend you! It means that you're so in the habit of praising yourself that if it comes from any other source, that's merely a bonus. And having that kind of confidence? You have no idea just how far it will take you in life. Bravo!
Want more stories like this? Check out the xoNecole reads below:
How To Tap Into Your Inner Confidence As An Introvert - Read More
Say These Self-Affirmations To Start Your Day On The Right Note - Read More
15 Affirmations To Inspire A Happier, More Fulfilled Life - Read More
Featured image by Getty Images
- 15 Things Highly Confident People Don't Do ›
- 3 Daily Habits of Confident People - YouTube ›
- Six Habits Of Confident People ›
- 13 Action-Habits of Highly Self-Confident People | Psychology Today ›
- 15 Habits Of Highly Confident People | Care2 Healthy Living ›
- The 7 Thought-Habits of Highly Self-Confident People | Psychology ... ›
- 11 Self-Confidence Habits: Transform your Confidence ›
- 15 Habits of Highly Confident People - Weidel on Winning ›
- 10 Habits of the Most Confident People | Inc.com ›
- 12 Things Truly Confident People Do Differently ›
It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Yes, Spring Fever Is A Very Real Thing. I've Got Some Tips For How To Manage It Well, Tho.
Now that the spring season is officially here (can you believe it?!), let’s talk about something that tends to come up quite a bit yet you may have wondered if it’s just a saying or popular myth: spring fever.
I don’t know about you but when I heard it while growing up, it was always in the context of a relationship — you know, “Shellie, you’re just thinking about that boy because you’ve got ‘spring fever.'” However, because I enjoy knowing the origin story of hell, just about everything, I’ve discovered over time that not only is spring fever an actual phenomenon, although it can affect your romantic life (as well as your libido), it has the ability to impact you in a few other ways too.
So, before we look up and — boom — we’re just a few weeks away from summer (because that really is how this year is going, y’all), take a moment to learn more about spring fever and how you can actually make it work for you in ways that you may not have ever even considered before.
Spring Fever. What Is It All About?
A fun fact about me is I was born in Lincoln, Nebraska. If you add to that the fact that my mother is a New Yorker, perhaps that is why my favorite times of the year are fall and winter (check out “There Are Actually Scientific Reasons Why So Many Of Us Adore The Fall Season”) — including the fact that, yes, I like it cold and dark. Oh, I so enjoy cuddling up in cable-knit blankets in a room that is filled with candles. It is absolutely my thing.
In fact, I hate that I didn’t plan better this year, so that I could take a vacation to Colorado during this month since, reportedly, March is when a lot of the state tends to have the most snow. And if you add to that the fact that I am a bona fide ambivert — listen, if anyone is perfectly content with spending most of my time indoors (my house, specifically) with a cup of hot chocolate and a book or a good movie…she is I and I am her.
Still, that doesn’t mean that, over the past week or so, I haven’t felt the urge to get out more than I typically do. And from what I’ve read, that is probably due to, yep, spring fever — a time when many people feel more restless and/or like they have more energy than usual. And although it’s not technically a medical condition, many experts on the topic say that spring fever should be taken quite seriously.
The main reason is because when daylight savings time “springs forward,” it gives us extra daylight. When that happens, it actually has an impact on your circadian rhythm (the pattern that your body experiences every 24-hour cycle). There are actually pros and cons to this because while, on one hand, “losing an hour of sleep” can up your stress levels (including when it comes to your heart) which is a con, more sunlight also has a way of increasing your serotonin levels which is a pro. You see, serotonin is one of the “feel-good hormones” in your body that causes you to feel happier; it also makes you want to stay awake for longer periods of time.
Something else about spring fever that has some science to back it: You do tend to take a bigger interest in dating and sex (even though fall is reportedly the best time of year for copulation — check out “Did You Know Fall & Winter Are The Best Times To Have Sex?”). There is actually a pretty scientific basis for why this is the case (that you can read here). For now, I guess the best way to explain it would be that sunlight hits your optic nerve which influences the part of your brain known as your pineal gland. When that happens, less melatonin is produced and, since melatonin can actually lower your libido — there you have it: suppressed melatonin can increase your interest in flirting, dating, and intimacy, and being out in the sun more helps to make all of this happen.
Not to mention the fact thatother reports have stated that spring is a time of the year when people tend to be more body image conscious too. Since layering season is gone and yet it’s not quite time to pull out a bathing suit (check out “These 12 Tips Will Make You Feel More Confident In Your Swimsuit”), springtime is a time of preparation. And since you’ve got all of that extra energy — and potential dating interest — spring fever can help to make you more focused on getting your body in the shape that you want it to be in over the course of the next few months.
A final thing about spring fever — it may causeyour moods to be a bit…erratic. That makes sense when you really stop to think about it because spring weather tends to be the same way with all of its roller-coaster ride temperatures, “April showers” and whatnot. So, more than usual, you may feel like you want to hang out for hours with friends one day and then not even want to answer your phone another — which is pretty much a reminder that spring is a season when you should really listen to your mind, body, and spirit to see what it needs.
5 Ways to Handle Spring Fever (So That It Doesn’t Control You)
Okay, so now that you know that spring fever isn’t just a saying, that it actually has some solid truth to it, here are a few tips that can help to keep it from throwing you off course:
1. Be intentional about stabilizing your moods. It’s not good enough to know that certain things will impact your moods in a random way and then do nothing about it. And since spring fever may have you a bit all over the place, eat foods that will help to make you feel better (check out “In A Bad Mood? These Foods Will Lift Your Spirits!”), look into supplements that will boost your moods (like probiotics, magnesium, and vitamin D), and do some meditating outdoors. The combination of sunlight and deep breathing can do wonders.
2. Get on a sleep schedule. More sun really can throw your sleep patterns off, so you might want to consider putting your body on a sleep schedule. Y’all, I actually read that spring is the season when heart attacks and strokes increase, in part, due to sleep deprivation — so please don’t be out here thinking that just because you may not feel like sleeping that you don’t actually need to. YOU. DO. (Check out “12 Monthly Sleep Habits To Transform Your Rest In 2025”).
3. Exercise…even if it’s in baby steps. There are a billion reasons why we all need to exercise, no matter what time of year it is; however, if the body image thing is really on your mind, there are so many ways to get your body toned up. Jumping jacks, lunges, squats, mountain climbers, bicycle crunches — these are all things that you can do from the comfort and convenience of your house. And walking around your neighborhood either before work or after dinner (or both), especially now that it’s warmer — that is a cool way to get some cardio in. Anyway, Healthline has a helpful article on this topic. Check out “30 Moves to Make the Most of Your At-Home Workout” when you get a chance.
4. Date with a “sober” mind. A wise person once said, “Feelings don’t have intellect.” Yeah, don’t get me to preachin’ up in here (again) about just how much I hate the saying “Follow your heart” when the Good Book clearly says that the heart is deceitful (Jeremiah 17:9-10). For now, let’s just leave it at this: You get that science says that your urge to, umm, entertain more, may increase right now. Just make sure that you don’t just “go with the flow of your feelings”. Bring some common sense, street smarts, and even patience to the table. Springtime is just one season. Make choices that will make the rest of the year awesome as well.
5. Put all of that extra energy to wise use. You already read that feeling restless is pretty normal these days; that doesn’t mean that you’ve gotta do reckless things, though. The way that I see it, extra energy can help you to make some plans, reach a goal (whether it’s long-term or short-term), or try something new that you’ve always wanted to do. Bottom line: just because spring fever may have you feeling like you’re all over the place, that doesn’t mean that you can’t cultivate some real direction. Use this time to make you end this year in a way that makes you smile. All because you used spring fever…instead of allowing it to use you!
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