

As Told To is a recurring segment on xoNecole where real women are given a platform to tell their stories in first-person narrative as told to a writer.
This is JaLisa Jefferson's story, as told to Charmin Michelle.
I have went from girlfriend to fiancée to wife...in less than one week.
My husband, Cory, proposed to me on May 14th in a carefully planned, highly anticipated—yet unexpected—evening. As soon as I walked through the door, there he was, down on one knee, asking me to spend my life with him.
We dated for almost a year prior to the proposal, and we even planned to get engaged in the near future, but due to the pandemic, and everything being shut down, I figured there was no way he could accomplish a special engagement or even get a ring, so I never suspected anything. But Cory worked with my parents and brother to set up a beautiful proposal at our weekly family Bible study.
Five days later, we were married.
Cory and I actually met "before we met", completely in the digital age, via Instagram. We finally came face-to-face while out with mutual friends, Jessica and Quincy (@itsjessicaacy, @quincyacy).
Ironically, we realized we had conversations with each other on Instagram over the last few years, but didn't make the connection until after the fact. And since that day, we've been together for almost a year, happily and blissfully living out our flourishing lives.
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I grew up in a healthy, faith-based household, which I ultimately credit my success to. I was a focused youngster, didn't involve many in my world. My family is full of preachers and pastors, so we were often in the church, knowing and learning The Word. I was shy, somewhat quiet, and always desired to be married and have a family. However, I knew that processing was necessary; which included completing my education, reaching some personal and career goals, all while praying that God would send me the man He approved for my life. Several bumps in the road when it came to my dating life (I know we all can relate to that one), yet I waited on God.
After all, I always viewed marriage as an eternal and sacred commitment to God and to your spouse—a commitment to seek God and remain best friends forever.
So, I waited.
And then He brought Cory to me.
From the beginning of our relationship, we have taken pride in the fact that we over-communicate our thoughts, feelings and desires with one another. We are both Capricorns and natural planners, so as soon as we knew we wanted to do life together, we pretty much had all this planned out and agreed upon. And now that we have lived out our idea of a engagement and wedding, we have laid our trust and faith at each other's feet.
Even before the pandemic, neither one of us were interested in having a huge wedding. We wanted to keep it extremely small with our parents and then maybe later have a reception to celebrate with our friends and extended family. We initially planned to just go to the courthouse, however, it evolved to having some of our closest friends and family present via Zoom for the ceremony as well.
Our wedding was intimate and full of love. All we cared about was committing our love, relationship, and marriage to God in front of the people who loved us most. My pastor officiated the wedding and counseled us prior. I wouldn't call our engagement and wedding traditional or modern, honestly it was just what WE wanted it to be.
Of course, the people closest to us, meaning our parents and best friends who we speak with all of the time, already knew that this was how we wanted to marry, so none of them were shocked. Extended family and those of which we don't really talk to on a regular basis, were the most shocked. And social media. We were definitely questioned by some trying to figure out what the rush was.
And with me being a full-time influencer they just assumed in their head that I would have this big extravagant wedding. Clearly, they didn't really know me or my heart as it relates to marriage or weddings.
I actually asked Cory about his thoughts on the past few eventful days and he said:
"The engagement couldn't have been any more perfect. The in-laws really made it that much more special. I was just expecting a few balloons, but mom had a whole ceiling full of balloons with an archway setup with streamers, cupcakes and had a great playlist playing for the whole thing. The day of the ceremony wasn't any different. I'm not exactly sure what I was expecting, but our friends and family went above and beyond anything I was thinking it would be. The day couldn't have went any better."
I couldn't agree more.
Courtesy of JaLisa Jefferson
My dress was stunning, my husband was dapper. Decorations were magical.
Case's "Happily Ever After" was blaring:
And you told me that you loved me
More than anything in your life
And I asked you would you do me
The honor of being my wife (yes I will)
We were so happily in love, wandering in euphoria and observing our joy radiate from person to person. The energy was so strong, so deep. Even with the ceremony being as intimate as it was.
Everything was perfect.
And now, it's time for us to live abundantly, ordained in the image of God.
"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:33."
I say this to encourage any couples inspired by our story, or simply don't have the appetite to marry traditionally, to wed on their terms. Don't lose your vision. It's yours. And most of all, seek God.
Everyone's situation and relationship is totally different, so while I am elated that I was able to inspire people, ultimately, I just pray that I inspire you to get closer to God and seek what's best for you. Cory and I have prayed collectively, individually, and sought counsel from those who we know have our best interest at heart.
Which is most important.
We're so thankful for the outpouring of love and support in choosing to marry our way. It's so hard to explain how we even feel right now. It's a mixture of being elated, but also feeling like everything happened exactly the way it was supposed to—even greater than my dreams since I was a little girl. The entire process from engagement to wedding ceremony, with all of our closest people, just felt so natural. There was so much love and support around, it's hard to even put into words.
So, thank you for celebrating our union with us. Thank you for being just as happy for us as we are.
We're officially a couple of weeks in. With just a fruitful, dynamic, and loving lifetime to go.
To keep up with the Jeffersons' journey, visit their website. For more of JaLisa, follow her on Instagram: @jalisaevaughn.
Featured image courtesy of JaLisa Jefferson
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Charmin Michelle is a southern native and creative spirit who works as a content marketer and events manager in Chicago. She enjoys traveling, #SummertimeChi, and the journey of mastering womanhood. Connect with her on Instagram @charminmichelle.
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Are You & Your Partner Financially Compatible? Here’s How To Tell.
With nearly half of all marriages that end in divorce citing finances as the nail in the coffin to deading their relationship, financial compatibility is one aspect of long-term compatibility that doesn't get talked about enough. Beyond the circular 50/50 discourse and whatever hot-button issues regarding providers and the like, at its core, financial compatibility is about how well your financial behaviors, values, and long-term goals align with those of your partner.
More than it is about how much money a person makes or doesn't make, financial compatibility focuses on how you think about money, how you spend your money, and most importantly, how you plan for the future with your money. Think, questions about money mindsets, spending habits, debt, budget, etc. Are you a saver and he's a spender? Do you see money as a tool for freedom? Does he see it as something to hold on tightly to as a means of survival? Can you talk about your financial goals and plans openly?
Knowing if you and your partner are financially compatible can save a lot of heartache, a lot of headaches, and a lot of money in the end. Keep reading for a few key indicators to pay attention to and learn whether or not you and your partner are truly aligned financially.
Signs You’re Financially Compatible
1. You can talk about money without judgment.
Conversations about money aren't something you dread. You're able to talk to your partner freely and openly about money matters, like debts, bills, the budget, etc., even when it is uncomfortable. There is an understanding that talking about money doesn't have to be something you're on the defense about, instead it's an opportunity for transparency, clarity, and solutions.
2. You respect each other's money personalities.
What is a money personality? According to Ken Honda, author of Happy Money, a money personality is our "approach and emotional responses to money" and there are seven money personalities we can fall under. These personalities can help us understand our own relationship with money, as well as our partner's. For example, maybe you're someone who likes to treat yourself to a fancy dinner once a month and your partner is someone who believes ordering takeout and not cooking meals at home is a cardinal sin.
When you can respect each other's money personalities, neither approach is subjected to judgment and shifts can be made in each other's spending habits as needed and from a place of love versus guilt or shame.
3. You agree on what it means to have "financial security."
Whether it’s building a stacked emergency fund, paying off debt before putting a downpayment on a home or being able to splurge on a baecation without checking your account balance before the bill arrives, your definitions of what it means to be financially secure are in sync, or at least compatible enough to reach a compromise.
4. You are not each other's "financial parent."
You’re not constantly teaching, fixing, or stressing out over what the other person is doing with their money. Although I fast-forwarded through a lot of the most recent season of Love Is Blind, I did pay attention to Virginia and Devin and money seemed to be a recurring theme in their conversations. It was clear Virginia had her ish together when it came to money and her financial plans for the future and Devin was not quite on her level.
Though she said no at the altar for additional reasons, I could also see how sis could eventually get very tired of being her partner's second mama, so to speak. And that's the thing about being your partner's "financial parent," eventually, you could end up feeling like you are one-half of a "parenting" or "teaching" dynamic with your partner instead of feeling like you're equals in a partnership.
5. You make financial decisions with each other in mind, not for each other.
Whether it’s booking a trip, deciding which debt to tackle first, saving up for a big purchase, or planning out your next move, there’s a mutual respect for each other’s input. Those shared goals might look like wealth, freedom, stability, or just a debt-free life that feels soft and secure.
You don’t have to be chasing the same bag in the same exact way, but you do need to be aligned on the vision. What you're building should feel like a joint venture with shared effort and purpose, not one of y’all making major money moves like you're still single. Making financial decisions is not just about where the money goes, it's about where you’re going together.
6. You're aligned when it comes to the big stuff.
Financial compatibility extends to the long-term of money management. The legacy, structure, and shared responsibility that comes with decisions like shared accounts, estate planning, having babies, or even blending families. Will you split bills or combine income? Who’s taking time off if you have a child? How do y’all feel about generational wealth or investing for your family’s future? You and your partner have had the real conversations.
These conversations can’t wait until after the wedding or until after a baby’s here. They’re the foundation for how you function as a unit, and if you're not aligned, or at least willing to get on the same page, that incompatibility can cause friction in the end that love alone can't fix.
Love is cute and all, but building an empire together? That’s the real flex. Tap into our new series Making Cents to see what financial compatibility really looks like when love and legacy go hand in hand.
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Featured image by pixdeluxe/Getty Images