Could you imagine God having a Facebook page and sending you a friend request? For some, this sounds intriguing, for others very feasible---considering they already consider God a bestie--and for a few more the premise sounds like a hoax or crazy troll. Well, the idea is set to come alive in the form of a CBS show called God Friended Me, debuting Sept. 30, and the cast includes some breakout black star power you won't want to miss.
One such star is Javicia Leslie, a Hampton University graduate whose career leap of faith that led to a fast-track path to acting credits including CBS's MacGyver and the lead on Lifetime's Killer Coach.
Javicia Leslie in 'Killer Coach' (2016)Lifetime
Now, she'll be playing the role of Ali Finer and joining a cast that includes Hollywood vets Malik Yoba and Joe Morton (hey, Papa Pope). Ali is the sister of the main character, Miles (played by Brandon Michael Hall), an outspoken atheist and preacher's kid who is forever changed when he gets a friend request from God and becomes an unwitting agent of change in the lives of strangers.
"When I got this, I posted on my social media, God Friended Me, and what a title for this point in my life," she shared in an exclusive xoNecole interview. "I really connected to the role of Ali. The character is very much [like me]--she psychoanalyzes everything and she loves to give advice. That's who I am. She's artsy and she's creative. But, more than anything, I really connected with the relationship she has with her brother. I have an older brother--he's two years older than me--and I admire him like crazy. And that's Ali, with her brother."
The show has themes that include acceptance and exploration of diverse religions and issues related to purpose, human connection, and community.
"No matter what you believe in, human connectivity is always the most important thing," she said. "You can sit in front of the TV with your family and every single member of the family can find someone or something to connect with on the show. Miles [the main character] is on a mission and it's one he struggles with… He comes from a father who is a Christian, but it's very much a spiritual show. … You'll see that it's going to help people of different faiths---acceptance for people being exactly who they are---that will be the catalyst for the whole show. It gets deep---Ali has secrets, Arthur [the preacher and Miles's father] has secrets, Miles has secrets. It's going to get interesting."
Leslie's true-life foray into acting is one that reads like its own interesting feel-good TV drama script. After earning a business management degree, Leslie did what many grads do and went the safe route---taking a job that could provide a stable income and benefits---until she felt led to pursue a desire that never died. While in college, she'd acted in plays including Ntozake Shange's For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide / When the Rainbow Is Enuf, and the acting bug was still biting post-graduation.
Paul Zimmerman/WireImage
"For about two years, I was helping soldiers [and their] families while working in Washington, D.C. It felt good to help, but you know, only dealing with sadness can weigh you down a little bit," the 31-year-old actress recalled. "The entire time I was there, I was thinking I wanted to move to LA. So [one day], I finally packed everything up. I knew [I'd have] to break my lease. I was like, 'Oh, I can't do this. I have this job that's taking care of my bills.' Around that same exact time, our [work] contract ended... and a random person came to my building and said they'd take over my lease. It was a God-send; I had a perfect exit door. So I moved to LA, I met my manager a month after I moved there, at an event where I was helping a friend sell scarves, and I signed with her. We got an agency, and it's just been history since."
Leslie has taken her own trek toward spiritual awakening and self-realization through exploration that has helped to provide a foundation for her life and an authentic connection with God and purpose. She has enjoyed connecting with faith---on her own terms---by being inquisitive and open to expanding her awareness through experience. "My faith is who I am. It's in every part of my life. It's the purpose that I walk in. When I got to 10th grade, I decided I wanted to go to church, and every single Sunday I would go---even if I had to go by myself," she said. "I did that journey as a choice. I think making that choice on my own---as a child, pretty much---is why I feel so strong about it now. From the beginning of my walk with Christ until now---it has all been about transitions and learning."
"My faith is who I am. It's in every part of my life. It's the purpose that I walk in."
Leslie is a big advocate of learning by seeking answers and advancing through lessons of failure. "Mistakes are necessary in order to grow. Anything I've prayed for, whether I've gotten it or not, I know God heard me. It's not about whether you get [what you've prayed for], it's about the communication with Him. The more I communicated, the more I felt my prayers were strengthened. Thank God for [lessons from] the failures and the successes."
She also believes that faith and community intertwine when pursuing an ultimate goal of turning a dream into reality. "I realized...start praying for other people and start praying for your network and family---that way you strengthen your team. Another thing you realize in this industry is that you can't do this by yourself," she added. "God gives us the community for a reason, even if we're not related, like a blood situation. There are people in your life that are there for a reason."
Having, supporting, and being inspired by a tribe of fellow black female actresses, including Tessa Thompson and Nafeesa Williams, has kept Leslie motivated and hungry for success in continuing to change the game.
"We don't feel, a lot of times, that black actresses are getting the opportunities to tell authentic stories. That's going to be the most important part of my career. I want to be able to tell these authentic stories. I want to break those barriers," she added. "That's what I also love about this show. [They've] written a beautiful character in Ali who has something to say---she has depth. I want to find characters who talk about something---those who, when I was a little girl, I looked up to."
"I have a strong faith that God gives us a passion, and when we follow our passion, we find our purpose, so a lot of what my steps were [was] listening to how I felt about things. I had to pay attention to my surroundings, to myself and how I felt about things---the answers are right there."
For more on Javicia, follow her on Instagram. The CBS series God Friended Me premieres September 30.
Featured image by Paul Zimmerman/WireImage
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The essence of effortless poise and refinement shines bright through the iconic university colors of indigo blue, red, and white. Every October, Howard University students, alumni, staff, and friends gather on the prestigious campus in Washington, D.C. to take part in time-honored traditions and events, which is Homecoming. This year's theme, “The Meccaverse,” was a week-long celebration of Howard University’s heritage, including the Homecoming football game and Bison Pep Rally, the Fashion Show, Greek Life Step Show, Homecoming Day of Service, Lavender Reception, and the iconic Yard Fest Concert.
As 2024 marked the 100th anniversary of the Howard Bison trek back to The Mecca and after two years of virtual events due to the COVID-19 pandemic, this was to be a celebration of a lifetime. We enlisted HU alumnus Sharmaine Harris, a luxury retail buyer, as she revisited her alma mater as eyes on the yard for fashion-forward outfits mixed with personal style and campus pride for the weeklong celebration.
Before we get to the looks, discover how attending Howard University impacted her career in fashion and her day-to-day style:
Credit: Sharmaine and Friends
xoNecole: Describe your personal style. Did attending Howard have any impact on developing it?
Sharmaine: Howard taught me that there’s no such thing as being TOO dressed. There’s always a reason to “put it on” and look presentable, even if it’s just for a day of classes. Standing out was celebrated and encouraged with my peers embracing the opportunity, giving me the confidence to try new styles and trends.
xoNecole: How did Howard shape your career as a luxury buyer?
Sharmaine: I studied Fashion Merchandising, through which I was fortunate to have professors who were very connected to the industry and able to give first-hand accounts of opportunities and what to expect post-college. I was also able to build a network through my peers and other Howard Alum, which has opened doors to endless possibilities both within fashion as well as daily life.
The same confidence instilled in me through my style has also been rooted deeply within me as I step into any role or project I’m faced with throughout my career.
xoNecole: This year marked Howard’s 100th-anniversary Homecoming celebration. Can you describe what the weekend looked and felt like?
Sharmaine: I’ve gone to many Howard Homecomings since graduating, but this year’s 100th anniversary felt like a huge family reunion filled with nothing but love. It was beautiful to see so many Bison return home looking great and radiating joy. It was beautiful!
xoNecole: What makes Howard fashion different from other HBCUs?
Sharmaine: Being that Howard is The Mecca, we have such a diverse population with each individual having their own spin on fashion. Getting dressed is second nature for us, but the layered confidence is our secret ingredient to make any look come together. Through that comfortability to push barriers, we have a legacy of setting trends, as indicated by the many alumni we have in the fashion and entertainment industry.
Keep scrolling for the top street style moments from The Mecca's Homecoming weekend:
Credit: Lacey Gallagher
Credit: Alan Henderson
Credit: JaLynn Davis
Credit: Dylan Davis
Credit: Caleb Smith
Credit: Kendall W.
Credit: Jordyn Finney
Credit: Vanessa Nneoma
Credit: Dr. Mariah Sankey-Thomas
Credit: Caleb MacBruce
Credit: Tiffany Battle
Credit: Teniola
Credit: Ilahi Creary
Credit: Nicolas Ryan Grant
Credit: Dylan Davis
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image courtesy of Sharmaine Harris
Geeze. Even as I’m typing this out, I’m embarrassed to admit that I have seen even more than one episode. What got me to check it out initially was hearing so many people talk about the Michael, Meagan, and Sarah nonsense from several years back. And you know what? I don’t care if it was way back then or when I will watch a few minutes while channel surfing now, if there’s one thing that I’m always saying (sometimes even out loud) is I get why a lot of people “fall” for inmates: when individuals are in a controlled environment, you can constantly account for their time, you can get most of their attention — they are willing to say and do almost whatever you wish.
And for a control freak, that is a relational wet dream. Unfortunately, then, once the inmate is released, they go from dealing with correctional officers in jail (or prison) to relationship wardens. What I mean by that is, instead of them being closely monitored while in custody, now the person who they “dated” while they were locked up seems to act as if it is their job to put themselves in the same position as the officers.
A great example of this? GOING THROUGH SOMEONE’S PHONE WITHOUT THEIR PERMISSION. And although it’s so common that one survey reported that 56 percent of women and 44 percent of men do it (more women than men…hmm…), while another stated that a whopping 71 percent of folks said that they use their partner’s phone without them knowing (hell, 21 percent professed to doing it often too) — let me put it to you this way: I wonder how many people know that it’s a practice that the law actually frowns upon.
Don’t believe me? Take a few moments to scroll through this article a bit more. Please let it serve as a PSA that just because something is popular, that doesn’t make it legal or right. And honestly, when it comes to preserving your relationship, it’s not the wisest move in that department either. Not at all.
First Up: Going Through His Phone, Without His Permission, Is Actually Illegal
@feistyaquarius Here is a checklist to make sure you didn’t miss one inch of that 📱 - settings (passcode) -imessages ( groupchats, msgs with friends ( guy names too check them) - whatsapp -telegram -GPS - call logs -photos ( RECENTLY DELETEDS FOR ALL APPS -instagram -fb msgs -snapchat ! -DROPBOX -emails -cash app (apple pay transactions) #fyp #iphonetips #parentsoftiktok #relationships
That, umm, presentation is from feistyaquarius on TikTok. Although there were a few times when I was like, “Girl, what?” as I was watching it, I can’t really say that I was shocked overall because there are TONS (I’m not exaggerating either) of other social media posts that are very similar to it. It’s like people have made a science out of coming up with ways of going through someone’s phone without them knowing. And here’s the thing about that — it is actually illegal.
According to a law firm’s website that I checked out on the topic, “The Electronic Communications Privacy Act (ECPA) is a federal law that makes it a crime to access someone else’s private communications without permission. It covers cell phones, computer use, email, social media accounts, and other types of electronic communications.”
The act itself, you can read more about here, here, and here; however, as it relates to the day-to-day things of everyday relationships, that act is relevant in the sense that it doesn’t matter if you are dating someone, engaged or even married to them, if you are going through their phone (or texts or emails) without their knowledge and consent, you are not only invading their privacy, you are breaking the law.
Adding to that, if you go through a device that is password protected without their permission, that is considered to be a form of illegal spying.
GiphyAnd here’s the thing: whether you’re keylogging (using software to track what someone is doing on their computer), using spyware to monitor someone’s phone activity, you’ve put a GPS tracking device on their phone or even downloaded an app that keeps up with what they are doing on social media, based on where you live and what you end up doing with the information after getting it, if you get reported or caught, the consequences could be anything from a fine to actual jail time. And what if you’re doing this to see if your spouse is cheating on you?
From what I’ve read and researched there, that’s not gonna be very helpful for you either because many judges will see you as being controlling and/or intrusive and/or problematic. Plus, since many divorces can be entered in as a “no-fault” one, proof of infidelity won’t benefit you much anyway.
So basically, while you’re out here listening to TikTok detectives and their literal phone hack tips, I don’t even know if they’re aware that they’re encouraging you to low-key break the law — and possibly ruin your relationship in the process.
Strictly from the relationship standpoint, here’s why I say that…
Going Through Your Partner’s Phone Is a Sign of Distrust (and Disrespect)
GiphyPersonally, I never have been the kind of person who likes to snoop around people’s things. One reason is because I lived with a parent who moved that way (reading my diary and journals and everything). Another is because…I just think it’s disrespectful as hell. I mean, even when a friend’s phone rings or a notification goes off, and I’m closer to their phone than they are, and so they ask me to pass it to them, I will turn the face of the phone down and hand it over. Whatever they’ve got going on on their phone is their business.
And when it comes to past relationships, I honestly feel the same way. Just because we are together, it doesn’t mean that my partner doesn’t have their own identity and right to privacy.
Besides, if I feel like I need to know your every move, that means that either I don’t trust you and/or I want to run you on some level —and both of those things are toxic ways to deal with a relationship. And before one of y’all says, “Oh, I trust him, I just don’t trust who may be trying to communicate with him,” — can we please retire that tired saying once and for all?
If you actually trust your partner, other people don’t matter. They have enough self-control and integrity to handle themselves and whatever is transpiring accordingly. In other words, trusting them is all that you need to be concerned about. Period.
Going Through Your Partner’s Phone Is a Sign of Control
GiphyJealousy is a sign of being controlling in a relationship. Constantly “making” someone earn your trust is a sign of being controlling in a relationship. Treating someone like they are guilty until they prove to you that they are innocent is a sign of being controlling in a relationship. Gaslighting someone into violating their own boundaries in order to please you is a sign of being controlling in a relationship.
Pulling accusations and presumptions out of thin air is a sign of being controlling in a relationship. Feeling like you should know any and everything “just because” is a sign of being controlling in a relationship. And when you go through your partner’s phone without them knowing about it, pretty much all of these signs are being manifested in that action — one way or another. And who wants to be around a controlling type of individual?
There is no real-time or space to get into all of the reasons why someone is a controlling person. For now, what I will say is many people move like that because A) it was modeled to them while growing up; B) they have very low self-esteem, so they are insecure, and/or C) they seem to think that they should parent their partner (which is also toxic as hell).
A mental health expert by the name of Robin Skynner once said, “If people can’t control their own emotions, they then have to try to start to control other people’s behavior.” This basically means that controlling people need to control themselves instead of trying to control others — and what that basically boils down to is they need to be alone…until/unless they do.
Going Through Your Partner’s Phone Is a Sign of Hypocrisy
GiphyOkay, please tell me that you noticed the part of the TikTok up top when she said that she is gonna go through her man’s phone regardless, “So long as he doesn’t go through my phone.” Umm, you know what that kind of mentality is defined as being, right? It’s sho ‘nuf a hypocrite because a hypocrite is someone who says one thing and then turns around and does something different.
And honestly, when it comes down to it, I’m with playwright Tennessee Williams when he once said, “The only thing worse than a liar is a liar that's also a hypocrite!” because a hypocrite is not only arrogant and delusional enough to hold you to a standard that they don’t hold their own selves to, they also tend to lie to themselves as much as they lie to you in order to justify being that way.
Think about it: how is it that you feel that you have the right to violate someone else’s privacy and yet if the shoe were on the other foot, now it’s a problem? It’s basically because you know that all of it is wrong, and yet you’re okay being a walking contradiction. And anyone who is alright with twisting the truth like that, they aren’t someone who anyone should think is long-term relationship material. I am absolutely not budging on that conclusion, either.
Going Through Your Partner’s Phone Is a Sign of Liking (Potential) Drama
GiphyI’ve shared before that a Black series that I heard about late in the game and then binge-watched and enjoyed isChef Julian. While preparing to pen this, I thought about one of the issues that Julian had with his first love, who he was constantly on and off with (Mo), was that she was a snooper (one example starts at the 7:40 mark of this episode here). She was sneaking around when he wasn’t looking, all the while trying to see what was transpiring via the smartphone that he pays the bill for.
And here’s the thing about that: the fact that she’s lurking like that proves that she knows that she’s totally out of pocket. Yet besides that, say that she does find that he’s liking pics on Instagram (some of y’all really need to relax on that), that he’s talking to women that she doesn’t know, or even that he’s seeing someone else. You snuck around to find out, so…now what? You’re going to go off on him for not being able to trust him, and your evidence of that comes from you doing something that shows that he really shouldn’t trust you, either?
Hmph. Sounds like nothing but the onset of a lot of drama to me — and as an article that I once read on CNBC about dramatic people, three clear signs of being full of drama are they always move with a sense of urgency and they like to focus on negative (or potentially negative) things — oh, and they always want to be in control. Yep, in their own “special” way, dramatic people are control freaks.
So, what are you saying, Shellie? That if I sense something is up that I go into denial mode? No. However, if you can’t simply talk to your partner and/or you’d prefer to be a bootleg Inspector Gadget, that either means that your relationship has a lot more issues than your suspicions OR that you like drama and you’re trying to feed your appetite. Which is it, sis?
Going Through Your Partner’s Phone Is a Relational Red Flag (on Your Part)
GiphyIn BetterUp’s article from earlier this year, “16 red flags in a relationship to look out for,” some signs that stood out to me included overly controlling behavior; lack of respect or trust; conflict avoidance; lack of emotional intelligence, and an inability to communicate openly. And y’all, if you think about people who sneak into other people’s phones — how are these things not ultimately evident in their actions?
Also, if you want to give me pushback on that, if someone did any of this to you, would you not wonder the same thing about them? Would you not say that they are clear relational red flags? And, if someone were to ignore these kinds of flags, how foolish would they be to 1) stick around and/or 2) act shocked if things didn’t ultimately escalate?
Listen, it really should be enough that going through your partner’s phone without their permission is breaking the law yet, after all of what I said, if you don’t respect or trust them or you would rather sneak around than have a real and frank conversation, one way or another, your relationship is far more unstable and unhealthy than you think — whether they have something going on in their phone or not.
Bottom line, before trying to press your partner’s finger onto their phone while they are sleeping or downloading an app that hacks into their intel, ask yourself how you would feel if they did the same thing to you (BE HONEST) and then really ponder why you think that is the right/wise/smart move in the first place.
Personally, I don’t think any type of violation is a form of love. And as I tried to display here, almost ad nauseam, going through someone’s phone without their permission is a solid example of that.
And what if after reading all of this, you couldn’t care less? I say this in love, but you’ve got more internal red flags going on than you might think — and as a wise person once said, “I think my problem is, I like to see how red the flag can get.”
You wanna know what’s going on? ASK.
You don’t believe them? SHIFT.
Hacking isn’t the answer, though. Legally or otherwise. Ever.
Respect you and them enough to accept that. Fully.
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Featured image by Peter Cade/Getty Images