Damn y'all. Where did the year go? I mean, I get that on some levels, 2020 has seemed like the longest decade ever—but then, on the flip side, it also seems kind of crazy that it's time to pull out our sweaters and winterize our house so that our electricity bill doesn't skyrocket. And then there's our skin. Fall and winter seasons are the time of year when it can be a little more challenging than usual to keep it moisturized and feeling super soft to the touch.
That's where today's beauty article comes in. If you want to give your skin the kind of TLC that, deep down, you know that it truly deserves, I've got some all-natural approaches that will make you happy that fall is officially here—no matter how much cold weather it brings right along with it.
1. Don’t Use Soap. At All.
Off the rip, you would think that soap would actually be a good thing, right? Well, when it comes to washing your hands during a pandemic, it is. But when it comes to using it to clean your body overall, it's absolutely not. For starters, soap not only kills bad bacteria but also the good kind that protects your skin from microbes that are unhealthy. On top of that, soap also strips away the lipids that help to keep your skin soft while providing a protective layer on it. And third, soap is loaded with chemicals (like carcinogens), and since your pores absorb what you put into your skin, you can probably see why that is highly problematic too.
OK, but not washing is nasty, so what should you do? Cleansing oils are a great alternative. They're basically cleaning agents that have an oil base to them so that your skin doesn't end up dry and irritated (Allure has a list of some of the top commercial oil cleansers here). Something that I've been a personal fan of for years is Dr. Bronner's Pure Castile Soap because it lacks unhealthy ingredients and it's got essential oils in it. Or, you can always step out and make your own body wash. When it comes to washing your body, you can get some tips on how to make a cleansing wash by checking out this video. As far as washing your vaginal area, check out "Love On Yourself With These 7 All-Natural DIY Vaginal Washes".
2. Exfoliate with a Homemade Coffee Scrub
You end up shedding somewhere between 30,000-40,000 skin cells a day! Aside from that being a good enough reason to change your bedding on a weekly basis, it's also why you should incorporate dry brushing into your body maintenance route. It's also why you should exfoliate your body with a scrub as well. After all, the less dead skin you've got, the easier it will be for your newer layers to show—and to glow.
While a brown sugar scrub is a favorite of mine because brown sugar is a humectant that is able to pull moisture into your skin, today I wanna shout out coffee scrubs instead. They're dope because coffee helps to increase blood circulation throughout your system, reduces the appearance of cellulite, contains properties that are anti-aging and is proven to even help to improve your skin's tone over time. This means that no matter how harsh the weather may be outside, your skin can still look amazing if you add a little bit of coffee to it.
If this is something that you'd like to try, all you've gotta do is combine one cup of coffee with a ½ cup of brown sugar, a cup of virgin olive oil (it's loaded with antioxidants), and two teaspoons of vanilla essential oil (it's loaded with anti-inflammatory properties). Mix well, apply to damp skin, massage gently, let it sit for five minutes, and rinse thoroughly. Your skin will immediately feel super smooth and smell out of this world too.
3. “Seal” Your Skin After Stepping Out of the Shower
A lot of times, in the area of beauty, whenever the topic of "sealing" comes up, it's usually in the context of sealing our hair's ends. But I'll tell you what—when I started "sealing my body", my skin started to feel next level! This process is extremely simple. All you've gotta do is make sure to have oil like sweet almond, coconut, grapeseed, avocado, or argan oil (all light oils that are packed with nutrients) nearby so that, once you step out of the bath or shower, the water that is on your skin will get "sealed in" by a layer of oil that you put on top of it. Just allow the oil to sit for a couple of minutes and then dry off like usual. Your skin will remain silky smooth until the next time you step into your bathtub.
4. Treat Your Face to Some Honey, Figs and Coconut Milk
From what I've read, figs are at their best in two seasons—June and then August through October. Since they're such a good source of vitamins A and K, along with potassium, calcium, magnesium, iron, and copper, that already makes them something that is good for you to eat. But as far as your skin goes, fig oil's got omega-3, omega-6, and omega-9 in it which are fatty acids that can have your face and neck feeling off-the-charts soft and smooth. If you add to the fig oil some honey, its antibacterial and antiseptic properties will remove deeply embedded bacteria as its antioxidants will encourage the production of collagen. Finally, bringing coconut milk into the mix is smart because its Vitamin C will improve your skin's elasticity while its copper will help to keep your skin from sagging as it fades age spots and discoloration too.
A half-cup of coconut milk, two tablespoons of honey, and a teaspoon of fig oil will create a mixture that you can apply to your skin with a cotton ball after washing your face. Let it sit for 10 minutes and then rinse with cool water (to close up your pores); your face will be ready for whatever the outdoor weather has awaiting it.
5. Do an Herbal Tea Steam Treatment
Speaking of giving your face an at-home spa treatment, when was the last time you steamed it? Steaming not only feels super soothing but it can also open up your pores so that anything that's clogged up in them will easily dislodge itself. Some other perks to face steaming are it increases blood circulation, hydrates your skin, and also promotes the production of collagen and elastin. While you'll already be doing your face (and neck; don't forget your neck!) a big favor by using water alone, you'll be giving it an extra treat if you add 2-3 herbal tea bags to the water too.
Some herbal teas that are excellent for your skin include rose (it contains lots of antioxidants); hibiscus (it fights off free radicals); dandelion (it's a great detoxifier); chamomile (it contains anti-inflammatory, antiseptic, and antimicrobial properties); licorice root (it has amino acids that deeply moisturize your skin); Burdock root (it contains phenolic acid, luteolin, and quercetin that helps to prevent wrinkles), and green tea (its micronutrients will keep your skin looking young and fresh).
Matter of fact, if you want to give your entire body the herbal tea treatment, steep a combo of these bags and let them cool. Then pour them into your bathwater. Every inch of your skin will thank you for it.
6. Make a DIY a Scented Moisturizer
Aside from the fact that fall already dips in humidity which means that your skin is subjected to being drier than usual, you need to moisturize your skin on a daily basis because it helps to keep your new cells healthy and thriving. While some dermatologists actually frown upon moisturizers, I'd venture to say that they take issue with actual lotion because of how thick it is and all of the chemicals that the commercial brands contain. But honestly, if you simply blend one cup of whipped shea butter, four tablespoons of virgin olive oil, two tablespoons of coconut oil and 15 drops of an essential oil, you've got all that you need to give your skin the additional moisture that it longs for during this time of the year.
As far as the essential oils go, if you want to smell like the autumn season, add some apple, pomegranate, sandalwood, patchouli or pumpkin. Pumpkin is really the lick because, studies have revealed, that combining it with lavender essential oil can speed up a man's erection by as much as 40 percent. (Exactly.)
7. Create a Lavender, Avocado and Jojoba Oil Blend (for Your Hands)
Other than when you've got your gloves or mittens on, there's probably no other part of your skin that will take a beating from the fall and winter weather more than your hands. "Baby" them by applying a mixture of lavender, avocado, and jojoba oil to them. Lavender essential oil is wonderful because it has antibacterial properties that will help to keep your hands clean, along with anti-inflammatory properties that will soothe your skin after you come in from the bitter cold.
Something else that's cool about lavender oil is it's able to properly balance your skin's moisture so that your hands won't be too oily or too dry. Avocado oil is wonderful because it's high in Vitamin E, potassium, linoleic acid, oleic acid, and other monounsaturated fatty acids that are ideal for treating and healing chapped skin. And jojoba oil is a great source of vitamins B and E, as well as antioxidants and anti-inflammatory properties that will pamper your skin. Plus, jojoba oil is really good for our nails and cuticles too.
Just combine a half cup of avocado oil with a half cup of jojoba oil and add 10 drops of lavender oil. Then apply it to your hands in the morning and evening. They'll feel baby-soft and have a nice relaxing scent to them as well.
8. Massage Orange Oil onto Your Feet
One of the reasons why I make sure to get a professional pedicure, year-round, is because the heels of my feet get all dried and cracked if they don't receive some extra special lovin' on a consistent basis. If you can totally relate but your budget is currently a little tight, I wrote an article on how you can do some DIY pedicuring that you can check out right here. Or, if you simply want something that will provide your feet with a little extra moisture, how about applying some orange oil to them?
It has antimicrobial properties that help to detoxify your system and pores; it deeply nourishes dry and/or irritated skin; it contains anti-inflammatory properties (if your feet happen have to be slightly swollen from being on them all day) and, it's got anti-fungal properties if your feet are susceptible to fungal infections. Not to mention the fact that orange oil has an invigorating scent to put you in a great mood if seasonal depression has you feeling a little on the lower side.
9. Restore Your Skin's pH Balance with Extra Virgin Olive Oil
Did you know that the normal pH level balance of our skin is between 4.7 and 5.75? The reason why this is relevant is that, oftentimes, we apply things on our skin that are either way too high (above 7 is alkaline) or much too low (below 7 is acidic). So say, for instance, you purchase a product with a pH level of 9. If you continually use it, it can end up totally drying your skin out and stripping it of its natural moisture. While this is never good, it's especially not beneficial during the fall and winter seasons.
Something that you've probably already got in your kitchen cabinet that is great when it comes to keeping your skin's pH balance right where it should be is olive oil. It is brimming over with antioxidants that help to keep your skin healthy. Olive oil also has omega-3 and polyphenols that are able to deeply moisturize your skin without clogging up your pores in the process. It contains natural anti-inflammatory and anti-microbial properties if you happen to have skin conditions like eczema or psoriasis.
And yes, it helps to keep your skin levels well-balanced too. The reason why I mentioned extra virgin olive oil specifically is that it's made from pure olives and not a blend of cold-pressed and processed oils (like regular olive oil is). The purer your olive oil is, skin-wise, the better.
10. Sleep with Shea Butter on Your Lips
I don't know about y'all but, personally, I don't know if there are too many things more irritating during the colder part of the year than freakin' chapped lips. And although I am definitely a lip gloss junkie, I have honestly not found a better moisturizer, lip protectant, or even lip primer for lipstick than shea butter. Between its high concentration of vitamins A, E, and F, antioxidants, and fatty acids, shea butter really does provide all that you need for your lips to be kissable, soft, and smooth. Apply a layer of it to your lips before turning in every night and they'll remain moisturized whether you've got a humidifier (which is also a good idea during the fall and winter because it will keep dry heat from drying you out) or not.
Welcome to the colder part of the year, everybody!
Featured image by Unsplash
It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
Alaska Wasn’t On My Bucket List, But My Glacier Adventure Made Me A Believer
We all have bucket list destinations at the top of our lists. I visited one of those at the top of 2024: Japan! But what happens when you get an opportunity to go someplace that wasn’t on it? For me, that was Alaska. Now, I’d submitted my short film to the Anchorage International Film Festival, genuinely thinking it would be a long shot to get in with a short film about fibroids and Black women’s health.
However, to my surprise, I received an email that read: “It’s with great excitement that we announce your film, Super High: A Period Piece, has been selected for the 24th Anchorage International Film Festival.” After looking at the flight distance from Atlanta to Anchorage—a solid 10 hours one way— I’d decided this would be one I wouldn’t attend.
That was until there was a follow-up email that shared that the festival was sponsoring two excursions for filmmakers: A Northern Lights Tour and A Glacier Hike.
With that, I knew I had to make the trip to the 49th state! I flew Delta, which offered the shortest layovers—just 50 minutes each way. For a more comfortable flight on the longer legs that were about six hours between my layover city and Anchorage, I upgraded to first class with an in-app discount for $256 (the regular price of a first-class ticket runs about $2,100), which was so worth it for additional space and service for the six-hour trek.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
"So What’s Alaska Like? Did You Have To Wear a Snowsuit? What’s the Food Like?"
These are among the major questions I’ve gotten. Anchorage reminds me less of a bustling major city and more of a small town with an easygoing feel. When I arrived, they’d just had snow a few days before, so it was cold, and the streets were slick. So, I was so happy I’d invested in a pair of snow boots. For my first few days, the locals said it was warm. Warm to them being 20s at night and mid-30s during the day.
However, by the time I left, fresh snow was on the ground, and temps were well into the single digits—and it felt like it. Oh, the sun doesn’t rise until 10:30 a.m., and it sets around 4 p.m. That was among the most challenging things to experience because I felt like I never really woke up. So, between the lack of sun and the four-hour time difference, I felt tired the whole time I was there.
As for food, I didn’t explore a ton because I was so cold. But I found two gems! First was Whiskey and Ramen. If you enjoy ramen and exceptional service, this is a must-visit. I’d make a trip back just for their Wagyu ramen and their special take on an old fashion!
And, for coffee, I thoroughly enjoyed That Feeling Co. The coffee was great, and being surrounded by plants helped to perk up my spirits.
The Northern Lights
Iceland is one of the most popular places to see the Northern Lights, so I was very excited to know that Alaska also gets to see the Aurora Borealis light show. Typically, many people visit Fairbanks to see them, but there are tours offered in Anchorage too! When prepping for the late-night tour, we’d heard that the night we were heading out to see the lights, the cloud coverage likely meant we wouldn’t be able to see them. Bummer. I know. So, we could sit the tour out or still try. But, in my mind, I was like, why would I come all the way to Alaska not to try?
So, at about 9:30 p.m., we piled into vans and headed out to chase the Northern Lights. We traveled about an hour and a half from Anchorage, and when we stepped out of the van, it was cold and pitch black. And unfortunately, after a couple of hours in the cold, those clouds in the sky never parted for us. I know that when we see the posts of people who do get to see Mother Nature do her thing, we don’t have all of the context of the science, which is Aurora Borealis.
Sometimes, the weather just doesn’t do what we earthlings would like, which can lead to disappointment. However, our guide did give a recommendation. When you book a trip to see the lights, give yourself four to five days to see them. Don’t bank on one day because, at the end of the day, this is science.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Now, On to the Glacier!
Just six hours after returning from the Northern Lights tour, we were up for the glacier tour because they were back-to-back! I was exhausted and so excited. If someone had told me I’d hike on a glacier, I would have given them a mean side-eye. I mean, where on earth does one climb a glacier? Let me share a few destinations with you, just in case you want to plan an icy adventure: Switzerland, Norway, Iceland, Chile, Argentina, and Alaska.
Aside from the fact the Matanuska Glacier is 22,000 years old, it’s the largest glacier accessible by car in the United States—27 miles long and four miles wide, making it one of the easier ones to see IRL. As a girlie with generalized anxiety disorder, I get anxious about doing this kind of thing because I know that to see these world wonders is usually a mountainous trek.
This one was two hours long, one-way, up snow-capped, windy, mountainous terrain. However, my therapist always reminds me to push myself to do what scares me (as long as it’s for a reason, of course). I held my breath for the journey there and back! And white-knuckled it from time to time, too.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Once we got there, we were surrounded by fresh, fluffy snow, and it was COLD! In the negative cold. I was thankful, I’d over-prepared. If you even go on a glacier tour, I recommend a few things: Balaclava, heavy-weight gloves, cashmere socks, snow boots, and lots of layers.
Here’s what I wore. My first layer was Ann Taylor leggings and a Wolford Turtleneck. Then, I layered a cashmere turtleneck and cashmere joggers. A COACH down vest, which I’d recommend anyone own just for winter, in general, because it’s SO warm! For my feet, I wore Ann Taylor cashmere socks (I love these because they’re affordable and so warm) and Adidas Adifom Superstar Winter Boot and topped all of that with a Brandon Blackwood ankle-length parka. I know BB is known for his accessories, but the brand’s outwear is truly amazing and worth the investment. After two hours on the ice, I felt great!
If you’re open to adventure travel, I highly recommend putting a glacier tour on your list of things to do. There are a few reasons. First, standing on an ice age-old massive piece of glacier was my 2024 version of touching some grass. I was reminded that I’m a speck on this spinning rock and need to spend more time grounded in that fact as I move through the world. I looked to the sky and thought of how proud my ancestors would be, even though I know they’d be telling me to get my butt home and off a dog on a glacier!
Secondly, I gained an ever-large appreciation for Mother Nature as I learned that glaciers are the world's largest reservoir of freshwater, containing around 69% of the world's freshwater. Again, another fact that helped me gain perspective. Lastly, it’s just fun and stunningly beautiful!
After this, I’m looking forward to my next cold-weather adventure! Iceland and Argentina are at the top of the list!
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Featured image courtesy of Bianca Lambert