Let's just be honest with ourselves for a moment, shall we? When you're over the age of 25, if you're like me, you start to see all of your friends pairing off. Getting married, having little humans, and buying houses.
The freelancer in me screams at the thought of so much commitment…but the fairytale-loving, Prince Charming-hopeful at the age of 27, yearns for such tell-tale signs of maturity. What's a girl to do?
My journey is normal; I started off listening to the words of the elders. They warned me of not being married by a certain age and the many horrors that come along with not conceiving before 30.
Well, to that I say: F*CK THAT.
After the third wedding I attended in the span of two years, I knew I couldn't listen to the drowning thoughts of yesteryear and had to pave a trail that suited me best. Let me make myself clear, I am very happy for those that choose to get married young, best of luck to you and I pray you've found everlasting, eternal love that never ends and grows stronger by the day...yada yada yada. But as for me and my house, we are waiting.
Let's be real though, the five-year-old girl within us all is screaming that she wants to be the bride and not just the attendee. Suppress those thoughts and follow me into the Promised Land with these 3 helpful tips to surviving wedding season:
Don't be jealous, get zealous!
The way that I get zealous is by finding really great wedding gifts that seem helpful for the couple. Shopping is every woman's aphrodisiac, so the time spent will be fun, and then you'll be able to get a great gift that a friend can use for their impending life. I'm a huge believer in karma or reaping what you sow. If you put out happy energy for other people, happy energy returns to you. Let's be honest, when you're hitting the pavement, heading to your 9-5, you'll want that positive energy.
Show up ready to stunt.
Now, being that you're not the bride, you can never wear white. But you can rock the sleekest and sexiest wedding outfit you can find. Girl, this is your chance to be fine for no reason, eat free food, drink, dance, and not worry about the future…because it's not your wedding! I won't lie, I'm usually wasted.
Affirm your ass off.
I know it sounds weird at first, but when you consistently remind yourself of what you've accomplished, who you are, and your goals and plans for the future, you won't feel swayed at the sight of the impending nuptials. Every day leading up to the wedding, read quotes, affirm yourself that your choices are RIGHT FOR YOU, and never allow anyone to make you feel bad for your decisions. Ultimately, they're yours.
Keep in mind my ladies in waiting, wedding season can be fun, exhausting, and absolutely tormenting, but it can also be great if you're set with the right tools. Happy wedding season lovebirds!
Featured image by Shutterstock
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Skylar sees things differently. At the time, she was shooting content on her iPhone. Temi came into the picture with a new perspective, an understanding of tech, and, eventually, a camera. “He doesn't give himself enough credit,” Skylar says. “He wasn't just my tripod. He wasn't just standing behind the camera and going ‘click.’ He was giving advice. He was giving me insight to how I could look at things from a different perspective. And I was like, 'Oh, he’s an artist.' I think it was maybe a heartbeat of that kind of energy of like, ‘Baby, can you take this picture?’ And it turned so quickly into, we're partners. We can work together in a way where we're advancing each other's creative thinking.”
The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Temi and SkylarCj Hart @hartbreakToday, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak