At the beginning of 2018, it seemed like everyone was opening a new business.
Whether it was a new hair care line for women of color, creating handmade jewelry, or starting a new blog, millennials around the country bombarded the US Patent and Trademark Offices to begin building their own empires. I can't lie. I was one of them. After a small intervention I never saw coming, I realized that living your dreams and getting out of your comfort zone was the new wave.
A wave that I desperately needed to begin a purposeful life.
Last year, I was a full-time employee at a non-profit organization that provides mental health services to adoptive and foster care families across the state of Maryland. My career was rewarding, and I woke up every morning feeling like I was a part of something greater than myself. One day, I ran into one of my co-workers in the break room. She told me she recently received a certification in Professional Certified Coaching (PCC) and wanted to offer me a FREE consultation. I thought to myself, "A life coach?"
I was a little hesitant since she was my co-worker, but after she reassured me that the consultation required no commitment, and we could meet outside of work, I agreed. I didn't have anything to lose. She would either tell me something I didn't know or confirm what I already know.
It turns out, she did so much more. We were knee-deep in conversation when I realized I needed this session more than I'd ever admit. "I want people to take me seriously," I blurted out.
Her voice remained calm and steady as she replied, "Do you take yourself seriously?"
My wardrobe consisted of worn sweaters and flats, and I opted for a messy bun more often than I should. I had a steady career but I lost focus on the things that brought me joy. My passion for writing hit a brick wall. There I was, dedicating all of my energy towards someone else's dreams all while mine were sitting on a piece of paper tucked away inside my journal. No, I wasn't taking myself seriously, so how could I expect anyone else to?
Although I built a small following for my blog and brand, LadyLaura.co, I found myself in a cycle of mediocrity that I didn't realize I was in. After our session, I experienced a mixture of emotions that felt like passion, eagerness, and surprisingly guilt. I felt so guilty that I let all of my personal branding goals fall so low on my priority list. I didn't quite know exactly what I was going to do, but I knew I needed to start making changes quickly. Below are the three steps I took to lead a more purpose-filled life.
Saving $5,000 In Less Than A Year
One major hurdle I needed to overcome at the time was money. I needed to work a full-time job to sustain my lifestyle. I was living in the Washington D.C. Metro Area where the cost of living is pretty high. Instead of focusing on the amount of time I needed to complete my goals, I began focusing on saving money to invest in my marketing and product development. "Money can be made anywhere," my new life coach said.
I didn't quite understand her. She then forced me to think about all the extra time I had during the day and said:
"A shortage of money or opportunity isn't the issue, your shortage of drive and dedication is the only thing that will hold you back."
I secured a part-time job at the mall where I only worked weekends. I had those checks directly deposited into a savings account that wasn't linked to my checking, so I wasn't tempted to spend it. I also secured a babysitting job on Care.com that allowed me to earn an additional $500.00/month. I was always busy. I was always tired, but I was making money. Every day was a step closer to my goal.
Quitting My Job
I was working as an Executive Assistant. My job was very demanding, but I had the pleasure of working with an amazing management team who taught me so much. I never planned on quitting my job when I initially started my plan. I just wanted to save the money. The more money I was saving, and the more I thought about my career, I realized I wasn't happy after all.
Although I loved the people I worked with, I wasn't quite sure I was passionate about what I was doing every day.
I started waking up dreading the same routine, the office politics, the same job title. I had been working there for four years, so this was no easy split. In fact, that's exactly what it felt like - a breakup. I kept putting it off. It was awkward for me, and I knew I would be emotional about it. I scheduled a meeting with my boss, and I finally got the courage to quit. She was shocked to say the least, and mostly concerned that I would leave a job that was stable and offered me a steady stream of income. "How will you survive?" she asked.
With every ounce of confidence I had in my body, I assured her that I would figure it out.
Moving Out Of State
Saving money was easy. Quitting my job was bearable. Moving out of Maryland? Not something I was ready for. I am originally from Virginia and moved to Maryland when I was about 17 years old. I spent all of my adult life in Maryland. It was the place I called home.
That was until I woke up one morning and realized that I hardly had any friends there. All of my family members were back in Virginia. I spent most of my time working and connecting with people via social media. The only thing tying me to Maryland was my job. Yep, the one I just quit. It was time for a change of scenery. Although I knew I would miss Maryland, I knew I needed to move to an area that would allow me to live comfortably while I built my career as a writer.
After about a year and a half of pure hustle and risk-taking, I am now living my dreams. If you would have told me two years ago that I'd be writing full-time, I would have laughed...awkwardly. I have always known what I wanted to do deep down inside, but I was always told that writers don't make any money. I was told I should take a more lucrative career path.
As I look back at all that I have accomplished so far this year, I am amazed at the amount of strength and vulnerability it took to do what I did. Getting out of your comfort zone and turning your whole life upside down is not an easy task. It requires diligence, passion, and discipline. You will spend many lonely nights, sacrifice relationships, and have weak moments, but there is nothing greater than living a life full of purpose.
- 6 Reasons To Step Outside Your Comfort Zone | HuffPost ›
- The Science of breaking out your comfort zone (and why you should ›
- Overcoming Fear: 10 Ways To Step Outside Your Comfort Zone ›
- Why it's Finally Time to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone ›
- 5 Benefits of Stepping Outside Your Comfort Zone | Psychology Today ›
- Why You Need to Step Out of Your Comfort Zone ›
- 3 Ways to Step Out of Your Comfort Zone - wikiHow ›
- How to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone | Breaking Personal Barriers ›
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It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Alistair Berg/Getty ImagesStep 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Getty ImagesStep 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
DMP/ Getty ImagesStep 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
And even though I’m not personally a social media (account) user, I must say that two things that I find to be pretty sad about where TikTok is headed (should it truly and finally come to an end) are one, all of the money that it’s going to cost its creators (I actually read that it will be close to a whopping $1.3 billion in the first month of a ban) and two, the fact that when it comes to researching things to write about, TikTok is so much better and easier than Facebook or Instagram (Mark Zuckerberg is a real trip right now; keep checking up on him too…SMDH).
A great example of this: learning about the diaper rash face cream trend that everyone seems to be raving about these days; especially on TikTok. Yeah, it all might sound crazy on the surface, but I’ve actually got some intel, along with videos from Black women who don’t regret putting something that was made for a baby’s butt (relatively speaking) all over their face.
Are you ready to see if it’s something that just might work for you as well?
Video credit: @_nvrseeme via TikTok
Diaper Rash on Your Face Even Has a Name: Face Basting
GiphyYou learn something new every day, chile. Personally, I think a big reason is because something new is made up all of the time. LOL. Take skin or face basting, for example. Now, unless you are someone who already puts diaper rash cream on your face, I’d be close to shocked if you know what that term means. If you’re like me — someone who just found out while conducting research for this piece — and you’re curious, skin basting is what happens when you want to do an overnight treatment on your skin with the help of diaper rash cream (face basting is when you apply it to your face only).
And just why would you do something like this? Well, for one thing, diaper rash cream tends to have a good amount of an ingredient called zinc oxide in it. It’s beneficial for your skin in a myriad of ways including the fact that it 1) helps to create a protective barrier on it; 2) can shield your skin from damaging UV rays; 3) locks moisture into dry skin; 4) helps to heal damaged skin tissue; 5) can help to prevent bacterial infections from occurring (or spreading); 6) increases the production of collagen; 7) slows down the signs of skin aging, and 9) can even treat dandruff.
If you add to that the fact that the lanolin and dimethicone (which are also skin protectants) are also in many diaper rash creams — hell, why wouldn’t you consider putting at least a dab or two of the stuff onto your face to see if it helps at all? I mean, GOODNESS.
Video credit: @staria_brantley via TikTok
Why Face Basting Is Better than Face Slugging
GiphyAnd what if you’re reading all of this and you’re thinking that face basting sounds a lot like something else that you’ve casually come across: face slugging? If that is the case, you may be wondering if there is a difference between the two. There is.
Face basting is about letting diaper rash cream soak into your skin for a significant amount of time. Face slugging is when you substitute the cream for a thick ointment like Vaseline or Aquaphor.
The method behind the madness of “slugging” is it could possibly help to heal dry skin and keep it soft for a longer period of time — although, to me, it seems like a surefire way to clog up your pores (so please report back, if you’ve tried this before). Plus, I can only imagine what your pillowcases and sheets end up looking and feeling like the next morning. Yeah, on the slugging tip, I’ll pass.
Video credit: @that.calliegirl via TikTok
Who Shouldn’t Attempt to “Baste Their Face”
GiphyAs you can see from the TikTok videos that I’ve interwoven throughout this article, some women are real fans of face basting. Still, that doesn’t mean it should be the go-to remedy for everyone. For one thing, if diaper rash cream only had zinc oxide, lanolin, and dimethicone, you might be all good; however, that isn’t the case. Mineral oil, fragrance, and other ingredients that are oftentimes in diaper rash cream could potentially irritate your skin.
Another thing to keep in mind is because diaper rash cream is also thick (like Vaseline), there is a chance that your breakouts could get worse due to potential pore clogs. Same goes for if you have oily skin or super sensitive skin (because a baby’s bottom has “tougher” skin than the skin that is on your face).
In all of these instances, if you want to see if diaper rash cream could be the skin remedy that you’ve been looking for, avoid the full-on basting and just apply a bit on your face. Wait a few days to see if there are any unwanted side effects and go from there — although it’s also a good idea to keep in mind that you can always purchase some plain zinc oxide ointment or speak with a dermatologist about what would ultimately be best for you.
Other Practical Uses for Diaper Rash Cream
GiphyWhew, chile. Now that you know what diaper rash can do for your face, you’d be more than warranted to be curious about if it can benefit you in other ways. The answer is actually…yes. Hangnails. If you “baste your nail cuticles” with it a couple of nights a week, it will help to keep your cuticles well-moisturized (since hangnails pretty much come from dry cuticles).
Vulvovaginitis. Vulvovaginitis is a technical term for irritation of the vulva. So long as you apply the ointment to your vulva only, it can help to bring temporary relief to itchiness or irritation (it’s good for girls as well as women, by the way).
Thigh chafing. If thigh chafing is something that you deal with,the zinc oxide that’s in diaper rash cream can serve as a barrier for your skin, so that it’s not as much of an issue.
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Personally, I’ve got a pretty good skin regimen going right now, so I’m not sure if I’ll be doing the face basting thing any time soon. Now nail basting? Diaper rash cream just might have me sold there. Because when you stop to think about the fact that you can get so much from a (roughly) $10 container or tube — why not?
Y’all, who knows if TikTok will be done this year. Just in case, let’s use this article as an opportunity to thank it for the hacks that sometimes do actually work.
Well done, TikTok. This time. LOL.
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Featured image by Delmaine Donson/Getty Images