When Gabrielle Union and Dwyane Wade announced the birth of their daughter, Kaavia, on Instagram last month, many of us were thrilled with the news as if we were all a part of their extended family.
It has been no secret that Union has had her share of struggles on the path to motherhood. The new mother has been quite open when it comes to her misdiagnosed fertility issues, the 8 or 9 miscarriages she's endured, and how her body felt like a "prisoner of trying to get pregnant." But despite her candidness when it came to her own ability to conceive, the We're Going To Need More Wine author was already on the path to becoming a mother via surrogacy.
However, just because the couple decided to go the surrogacy route didn't mean they were absent of all the nerves and uncertainty that come with any pregnancy. While every journey is unique in its own way, pregnancy can be a beautiful yet scary time. And for Gabrielle, rather than share the news of her growing bundle of joy, she and Dwyane decided to keep the surrogacy private. Privacy is a difficult thing to maintain when you are in the public eye, but the couple managed to not only keep the secret, they also took the time to begin to reflect on their journey and heal from the pain that led up to this point.
Last week, Gabrielle took to Instagram to share some of the emotions the couple went through as they prepared for the arrival of their daughter. In a caption posted alongside a photo of the couple sharing an intimate embrace, she revealed:
"On this night we decided to embrace faith that our lil miracle @kaaviajames would make it into our arms. We held onto each other in joy and peace and allowed ourselves to look forward to her arrival. @dwaynewade marked this moment with his 1st ever tattoo of her 1st name Kaavia James."
Having a baby is a miracle, regardless of the way they are conceived. But when you've faced countless failed attempts, opting for surrogacy can present its own set of emotional battles with which to contend. Gabrielle reveals that at times she felt alone and even fought off the feelings of being "defective".
The L.A.'s Finest star says that she felt isolated and even depressed keeping the journey to herself. And while she and her husband finally embraced the very real fact that they would soon become new parents, it took until the second trimester for them to finally stop holding their breath. The caption continues:
"For lots of people/families who have been on their own unique fertility/family creation journey, hope can feel like a cruel joke that plays on repeat. You stop letting yourself get excited and you don't [sic] dare utter any updates. You carry it all. It can feel isolating and depressing. You wonder if you are defective. You are not. You wonder if you are worthy. You are. You feel you feel you feeeeeel. You are not alone. You are loved and worthy and every feeling is real and understood. On this night, we allowed ourselves to stop holding our breath out of fear. We still had 4 months to go. We had never been this close. #tbt"
In their first interview since the birth of Kaavia James Union Wade, the couple sat down with Oprah Winfrey to discuss their struggles with infertility and their surrogacy journey in a special called "Oprah at Home with Gabrielle Union, Dwyane Wade & Their New Baby" on December 8th at 8 pm. And if there is any questioning as to why the couple decided to keep their journey to themselves, this exclusive sneak-peak of their upcoming sit down with Oprah Winfrey might shed some light.
During the special, Gabrielle will discuss how she had to let go of the fact that she would not be the one carrying the baby. Dwyane also seems to address some of the backlash that they have received on social media and Oprah finally gives The Wades a chance to address the haters.
Through their story, many other women and couples can see that they are in fact worthy of their own journey to parenthood, no matter how difficult it might be. By sharing their story, there shouldn't be any doubt that couples around the world will not only be able to relate to their struggles in having a baby but will also feel inspired to remain hopeful along the way.
The all-new special, "Oprah at Home with Gabrielle Union, Dwyane Wade & Their New Baby", will premiere exclusively on the OWN: Oprah Winfrey Network, Saturday, December 8th at 8 pm ET/PT. Check out an exclusive first look at the special here.
Don't have OWN? Mama O's got you covered. The special will also air on "SuperSoul Sunday" on December 9th, streaming live on Oprah's Facebook page at 11:00 am ET/PT. The interview will also be available to hear on Oprah's SuperSoul Conversationspodcast on Monday, December 10th with part two following on Wednesday, December 12th.
Featured images by Bobby Metelus/Getty Images
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While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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The first time I did it, I was among a group of ladies and we were encouraged to write down our feelings in our journals. Afterwards, we huddled around and one by one burned our pages with some ladies even revealing what they wrote. It was a beautiful moment and a great way to support each other.
The second time I did burn journaling, I was by myself. I was reading Calling In The One and one of the practices involved writing down the things I wanted to let go of and burning it. I had Cleo Sol’s “Know That You Are Loved” playing in the background on repeat while I burned the pages in my apartment bathroom.
What Does Burn Journaling Do?
Based on my experience and others' explanations, burn journaling is a cathartic practice. The act of burning serves as an emotional release of past traumas, old thoughts, and negative feelings. It’s also a way to say goodbye and/ or forgive.
Types of Burn Journaling
There are different examples of burn journaling: Burning journals after writing, burning letters and burning lists.
Burn Journals
As stated before, you can write in a journal and burn it afterwards. It’s up to you if you burn it page by page or wait until you fill the journal up and burn it altogether. There are journals you can buy for the sole purpose of burning them afterwards.
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Burn Lists
This technique involves writing a list of things you want to let go of and then burning it. Burning the list symbolizes the release of those things.
Burn Letters
Another example are burn letters. For this technique, you write a letter to someone that you either want to forgive or let go of, but instead of sending it to them, you burn it.
Safety Precautions
If you do decide to try this practice, make sure to be safe. Use a fireproof bowl for burning and never leave it unattended. Alternatively, you can shred the pages.
If you’re in Atlanta and want to try burn journaling, meet me this Sunday for Burn Journaling & Walk.
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