

For me, a great first date question is, "What sign are you?" I have dodged many a bullet by asking this question. I would say that I am 99 percent on the dot when it comes to predicting potential relationship drama just by assessing someone's sign and paying attention to their actions. However, I do realize I may have missed a few things and that has caused me to look a little deeper. I am notorious for asking my potential date what their time of birth is and where they were born. Why? Well, it is simple, I need to know what's in that birth chart.
Are we truly compatible or is this just a brief moment of coincidence? Most people, especially men, don't normally have this information on hand. To that, I reply, "Text your mom and see if she remembers." It may seem, and it probably is, a bit invasive but the way dating is set up these days, I need to collect as much information upfront.
Apps like Co-Star and The Pattern App have made it simple and easy to have this information at your fingertips. It allows you to see, astrologically, how you match up with friends, co-workers, family, and yes, potential boos, just by entering in a few details. Many people swear by these apps because of their uncanny ability to give you daily predictions that are spot-on.
Birth charts and zodiac signs are not new tools that have been used in the dating arena, on the recent popular Netflix series, Indian Matchmaker, we got a chance to see how big of a role in Indian cultures astrology played in picking a spouse. Honestly, it was very eye-opening. But this is all to say that birth charts can lend a lot of guidance to you and be useful in a self-discovery kind of way.
In order to delve in deeper into the topic of astrology charts, we spoke with Angelica Ray, an Intuitive, Healer, and Coach to shed light on all things there are to know about birth charts.
What Is A Birth Chart & What Does A Birth Chart Mean?
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Natal charts, commonly known as birth charts, are a chart that explains where the planets were in the sky at the date and time you were born. "A birth chart or a natal chart is essentially a snapshot of the sky, the cosmos, the planets at the exact moment you were born. So as the Earth turns, and depending upon where you were born and the time you were born, the space around Earth looks a particular way," Angelica explained to xoNecole.
"The planets, stars, moons are in particular positions based on those factors. And that position and that snapshot in time are what is known as our birth chart."
Every planet has a significant meaning as it applies to you and how you show up in the world. Your birth chart helps to highlight where the planets were located at your birth and the significance in that particular placement. Our complete personalities are made up of several personality traits of different zodiac signs that represent different areas of our lives. Each birth chart is fairly unique to the individual unless there was another person born at the same time, on the same date, in the same location as you. According to a Nylon.com article:
"Your personal planets — such as the moon, Venus, rising, Mercury, and Mars — can change signs every few hours to days, which is why your chart would look very different from someone born just a few days later."
Planets such as Pluto, Uranus, and Neptune on the other hand are very slow-changing signs that change every few years or so. These planets reflect things like generational shifts and traits that will be similar to people in the same age brackets.
How Do I Find My Birth Chart?
There are many different ways you can access your birth chart. Angelica says before you access your birth chart, you need to make sure you have a few things for accuracy. "You can get access to your birth chart through several different websites. There is one called Astro Dienst which in my opinion is the best astrology website for getting birth charts. While the chart itself is very helpful, it is also a great idea to get your birth chart from an astrologer who has a full understanding of the chart itself the placements, the transitions, and transits, so that you can have as much information as possible."
It is suggested with the time of birth to get it as close as possible to the minute you were born. You can still access your birth chart without it, but it is critical to have the exact time. The apps Co-Star, The Pattern, Astrology Zone, and Time Nomads are highly recommended for getting your birth chart.
How To Read Your Birth Chart
Reading your birth chart can be a little tedious. There are specific intricacies that the different planets create by playing off each other in certain positions. It may serve you best to find someone who knows how to read your birth chart for you and interpret all the relationships and meanings. Angelica advised, "The field is obviously not regulated, there are a lot of people claiming to be astrologers. Of course, there are people with less deep knowledge of astrology who can still provide you with information that can be helpful. If you want a really deep dive and to know all of the intricacies, then you would want to look for someone who has that specialization and who has been studying astrology for a long time and who makes it a priority and focus in their profession."
How To Interpret & Understand Your Birth Chart For Yourself
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Now that we know what the birth chart is and how to access one, let's discuss how it can help you understand yourself. A lot of the conversation around what people know about astrology and the zodiac is very one-dimensional. The birth chart gives you a deeper understanding of how people perceive you, how you navigate deeper emotions, how you love, how you communicate, etc. Angelica explained, "I always say the birth chart can tell you the skeleton of a person. The flesh of a person is all the experiences they've had. It's their values, their morals, etc. But your birth chart really does tell you the skeleton of a person. It is the structure of how you are made up and what energy has created you."
Once you understand the fundamentals through the birth chart, you can start to explore the more nuanced aspects of yourself. "It's really helpful to know because it can provide a lot of confirmation and affirmation of things you maybe sensed about yourself but didn't have anything, in particular, to point to. A lot of us are aware of our sun sign but that's like saying you know a face just by its nose. But you need to see the entirety of the faces just to have some sort of recognition to have some sort of familiarity and some understanding."
Angelica continued, "While the sun sign does provide you with a little bit of information, it's really how it works in tandem and conjunction with all of the other intricacies of the chart that make the information usable in your everyday life."
Understanding The Primal Triad: The Sun, The Moon, & The Rising Signs
The primal triad to me is the meat and potatoes for where everyone should begin with birth charts. The primal triad includes your sun sign, moon sign, and rising or ascendant sign. "These three elements really help you to understand the primal nature of the soul of a person," Angelica said.
However, let's look at the breakdown of each of the signs making up the primal triad from, as told by Angelica Ray:
- "The sun sign is typically the way a person shines their light in the world. It is their essence, it is how they 'do' the world most naturally.
- "The rising sign is sometimes called the ascendant sign. The ascendant sign typically represents how other people experience you in the world. So it is that first layer, that aura or experience they have with you. Imagine if your sun sign is the light, then your ascendant sign is the window through which that light shines. If it is a blue window, you might have a different tint of light on it than you would if it was a purple window. So your sun is the light that is shining and your ascendent is the light coming through the window and represents how people experience you.
- "Your moon sign is the deepest part of you emotionally, psychically and that is all the stuff you bury and you carry deep inside. It is how you 'do' your emotional world."
Birth charts are an interesting way to compare and contrast how you interact with yourself and others. But it is extremely important to gain as much insight as possible when starting this research to be accurate. Angelica offered this sage advice, "A birth chart is a tool. Fate and free will are constantly in interplay with one another. So while astrology might point to the lesson you are here to learn and things you should come here to do in this lifetime, you still have free will to choose how you are going to do those things and how that might play out."
She concluded, "It just tells you what energy you are made of and it is the choices that you make that allow you the opportunity to work in harmony or in disharmony with that energy."
If you would like to know more about birth charts or to book an appointment for services with Angelica Ray, please visit her website. She also can be found @angelicaray on Instagram.
Featured image by Shutterstock
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Eva Marcille On Starring In 'Jason’s Lyric Live' & Being An Audacious Black Woman
Eva Marcille has taken her talents to the stage. The model-turned-actress is starring in her first play, Jason’s Lyric Live alongside Allen Payne, K. Michelle, Treach, and others.
The play, produced by Je’Caryous Johnson, is an adaptation of the film, which starred Allen Payne as Jason and Jada Pinkett Smith as Lyric. Allen reprised his role as Jason for the play and Eva plays Lyric.
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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These 5 Simple Words Changed My Dating Life & Made It Easier To Let Go Of The Wrong Men
Dating in 2025 often feels like meandering through an obscure tropical jungle: It can be beautiful, exciting, and daunting, yet nebulous when you’re in the thick of it. When we can’t see the forest for the trees, we often turn to our closest friends, doting family, and even nosy co-workers for advice. While others can undoubtedly imbue a much-needed fresh perspective, some of the best advice you’re searching for already lies within you.
My dating life has been a whirlwind to put it mildly, and each time I’d heard a questionable response or witnessed an eyebrow-raising action from a potential beau, I’d overanalyze for hours despite the illuminating tug in my spirit or pit of my stomach churning. And then I’d hold a conference call with my trusted friends just to convince myself of an alternative scenario, even though I’d already been supernaturally tipped off that he was not in alignment with me.
Fortunately, five simple words have simplified my dating process and ushered in clarity faster: “Would my husband do this?”
A couple of years ago, I met an entertainment lawyer who was tonguing down a twenty-something-year-old woman for breakfast while I slurped my green smoothie and chomped on a flatbread sandwich. Okay, Black love, I grinned and thought as I sauntered out of the Joe & The Juice. As soon as I stepped down from the front door, a torrential downpour of Miami summer rain cascaded and throttled me back inside to wait out the storm.
I grabbed a hot green tea and vacillated between peering out the wet door and anxiously checking my watch. My lengthy agenda started with attending the Tabitha Brown and Chance Brown’s “Black Love” panel, and I was already late. That’s when the lawyer introduced himself to me, after he made a joke about neither one of us wanting to get soaked by the rain. His female companion had braved the storm, leaving us to find our commonalities.
We both lived in L.A. and had traveled to the American Black Film Festival to expand our network. He represented various artists, including entertainment writers, while I was working as a writer/creative producer in Hollywood.
While there is no shortage of internet advice on how to strategically meet a prominent man at conferences, if I spend my hard-earned funds on career growth, I have tunnel vision, and that doesn’t include finding Mr. Right. So, I stowed his contact details away as strictly professional.
As the humidity and mosquitoes were rising around L.A., two months later, another suitor-turned-terrible match cooled off after three unimpressive dates and a bevy of red flags. I posted what some of my friends called a thirst trap, but it was really me wearing a black freakum jumpsuit with a plunging neckline to my friend’s 35th birthday soiree despite feeling oh, so unsexy and bloated on my cycle.
I’d been waiting to post a sassy caption and finally had the perfect picture to match: “You not asking for too much, you just asking the wrong MF.”
That’s when the entertainment lawyer swooped into my DMs and asked me to dinner. I was quite confused. Is he asking me on a date? Or is this professional? Common sense would’ve picked the former. Once it clicked that this would in fact be a date, I told my mentor, who’s been happily married for over twenty years and has often been a guiding light and has steered me away from the wrong men.
Upon telling him about how we met, he emphatically stated, “He ain’t it.” He followed up with a simple question, "You have to ask yourself: Would my husband do this? Would you tell others that you met your husband, tonguing down another woman, and later married him?"
Ouch. The thought-provoking question cleared any haze. Prior to going out with the lawyer, the first thing I inquired about was the woman.
“You saw that?” He said, taken aback that I’d witnessed his steamy PDA. Surely, anyone with two open eyes peeped him caressing her backside as he kissed her in the middle of the coffee shop.
He brushed her off as a casual someone he’d gone on a couple of dates with but had since stopped talking to. He said he hadn’t been in a serious relationship in over three years. Though I was still doubtful, dating in L.A. is treacherous and ephemeral. Making it past three months is considered a rarity.
With my antennae alert, I dined with him at a cozy beachside steakhouse restaurant where we were serenaded by a live jazz band. I’d emphasized forming a platonic friendship first.
“I’ll come to you,” he obliged. I liked that he had made me a priority by driving over 50 miles to see me. I also liked the effort he made to check in with me daily. But I still couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that he initiated on a professional pretense and then alley hooped through the back door on a romantic venture, which bombarded me with confusion.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my dating life, God is not the author of confusion; any man who brings confusion, rather than clarity, is simply not The One. It doesn’t matter how many boxes he checks–eventually, that confusion will manifest itself into bigger problems, in time.
After diving into deeper conversations on the phone, post our first dinner date, I quickly realized this man was indeed not The One for me. But I’m grateful for the valuable lesson I learned.
I don’t expect some unattainable fairytale of a husband; we all have our own flaws and conflict is inevitable, but after dating for two decades, through failure and success, I’ve realized that the person I ultimately marry must mirror the values I exert into the world. He must reciprocate kindness, patience, and respect. He must be quick to listen and slow to respond. He needs to be forgiving and trustworthy, practice healthy communication, and be a man of his word at the bare minimum.
If I’d had “Would my husband do this?” in my toolbox when I was dating and floundering in stagnant relationships, in my twenties, it would’ve saved me a lot of precious time. But now that I’m equipped with the reminder, it’s allowed me to ground myself in my non-negotiables and set/maintain the standard for the special person, I’ll one day say, “I do,” to.
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