“They may just not be in the room," the front desk clerk says, doing little to disguise her annoyance.
“No, he should be there. Can you try again?"
She patches me through for the second time as I begin plotting an alternative plan of action in case the phone goes unanswered. It's not the first time I've played phone tag with Terrence J because, hey, he's a busy man. But before I can decide between calling his manager or shooting a “well I tried" email, the ringing ceases and I'm greeted with a warm tone.
He's in Anguilla, he tells me. “I'm shooting for Mark Burnett. We're doing a show for FOX."
Mind you, this was two days before he was set to release his latest film The Perfect Match, where he played the role of the leading man alongside model Cassie Ventura and a cast of beautiful women—think Paula Patton, Brandy, Lauren London, and Dascha Polanco—in addition to snagging a production credit. Somewhere between doing radio and television promo and red carpet appearances, he's managed to slip back to the islands to add another hosting gig to his resumé. Less than three months prior, the former co-anchor announced his departure from E! News in order to pursue acting and producing full-time—just a few days shy of receiving a call from Lionsgate that they were interested in distributing The Perfect Match. He left a steady paycheck in pursuit of his dream, nothing less than a boss move. Risk-taking is something that Terrence J has perfected over the years.
“It was really stepping out on faith and believing myself to know that I want to leave the club before the lights turn on," he says. “I actually sat down with Will Smith, and I asked him when did he know it was time to leave The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. They offered him a million dollars an episode for 22 episodes, and he said he just felt it in his gut—he felt it in his heart—and he knew when it was time to leave. This was when he only had Six Degrees of Separation. It wasn't like he had done Bad Boys or Men in Black yet, he just stepped out on faith. And so I felt like it was just my time."
Terrence J has always had this innate ability of knowing when to trust his gut, and it's always paid off. When the Rocky Mount, NC native showed up on the campus of North Carolina A&T State University during his freshman year, he headed straight to the student radio station and offered to volunteer. Within one semester he snagged a part-time job at the city's local radio station 102 Jamz. "Closed mouths don't get fed," he says without hesitation. "I tell people that if you do something that you love, eventually it'll come full circle and it'll work for you. And you'll never feel like you're working a day in your life."
He took that same logic with him to New York in 2005 when he auditioned for BET's “New Faces" contest. Like thousands of others he didn't advance to the second round, but the person in front of him did. Instead of admitting defeat, he took it as a lesson in perseverance. “It wasn't that I didn't get the job, it was more so that I couldn't believe that somebody that close was able to advance, and I didn't feel like the person was any better than me or that person was greater, it was just that for whatever reason I wasn't on my A game that day."
He showed up to Atlanta the next day where they were holding another round of auditions. This time he was prepared, and when he stepped into the room for the second time, they didn't dare turn him away. “A lot of times in life when people tell us no we take that so personally. When someone tells us that we can't sing, then we'll never sing again. If someone tells us that you can't play basketball good, a lot of us will put the ball down and never pick it back up. And a lot of times in life people will tell you no for a lot of different reasons and those reasons having nothing to do with you. People will tell you no because of how they feel about themselves, and so you've got to understand that the only person that can't stop you from doing that is yourself."
"People will tell you no because of how they feel about themselves."
His career aspirations landed him in the Big Apple during the heart of winter with nothing more than a dollar and a dream. At one point he was homeless, sleeping in his car and on his frat brother's couch while waiting to be assigned to a show. He beat out three other finalists before he and co-host Rocsi Diaz finally graced the stage of 106 & Park six months later. "We didn't know how it was going to work out, so we had to be patient and stay hungry."
At BET he would encounter a setback that later prepared him for a comeback. Interviewing celebs with their flashy chains and expensive rides enticed Terrence into the world of overindulgence. Instead of paying off student loans, he bought a Cadillac in effort to keep up with his celebrity friends, but after nearly going bankrupt he learned a lesson on the importance of money management. (He has since built a net worth of a reported $4 million.)
After seven years of entertaining teens, his gut told him that it was time to make moves. Before getting the call from E! News, he had already started dabbling in film as a co-star in Think Like A Man and later Think Like A Man Too. Though his brand was getting bigger, that didn't mean his ego had to. “Walking into a movie theater and having people watch you on screen is a scary thing. I do work where it's based off of opinions, so any given day public opinion can shift and say we don't like you and I have to figure out something else to do. You just got to believe in yourself and stay hungry."
Never knowing when his time may be up keeps Terrence J grounded and grinding. Ask any production crew and they'll tell you that he's the first on set and the last to leave. “There are a lot of people out there who may be more talented than me, may be better looking than me, they may be stronger, taller, and faster than me, but they're not going to work harder than me. I will outwork whoever until the wheels fall off, and so I think with that it's [about] how bad you want it."
"There are a lot of people out there who may be more talented than me, may be better looking than me, they may be stronger, taller and faster than me, but they're not going to work harder than me."
In the midst of building his empire he's also attempted to have a love life with model Selita Ebanks and blogger Nicole Isaacs, but becoming a Renaissance doesn't come without sacrifice. The time and effort required to build a healthy relationship would come at the price of his career, and similar to his bestie Michael B. Jordan, he's not willing to put his aspirations on hold just yet. “The Michael Ealy character [on Think Like A Man] is a character that every guy can relate to because it's hard for you to be the person that you have the potential of being in a relationship until you're at a place in your career that you can be comfortable with," he says “ I'm very aware of where I want to be with my career, and a lot of times that takes an extreme amount of tunnel vision in order to get that."
The 33-year-old still has hope for marriage and kids—one day. “Relationships are reflections of where you are and you get what you project. You receive what you put out into the universe. I have no doubt that one day I'll be married and with kids if I'm fortunate enough, and I look forward to all of those things. But for me right now I've worked very hard for a long time and right now I'm focused."
Touché.
It's easy to understand why Terrence J goes so hard when his work is his passion. He's chosen a path where waking up is another day to live out his dream, and he's determined to add a few slashes to his Twitter bio.
"The universe will move out of your way and conspire to assist you in whatever your dream may be."
“All I want to do is what I'm doing. I love what I do so much that this is my joy. And I don't care about winning an Oscar or any type of award or recognition or even a bunch of money. None of those things are at the top of my priority list. I love waking up in the morning and doing what I'm passionate about. If you keep going after your dream, the universe will move out of your way and conspire to assist you in whatever your dream may be."
For the television host, actor, and now producer, his dream took him from his small-town home all the way to Hollywood. Terrence recently acquired a new first-look production and talent deal with MTV and VH1 proving that your dreams can be achieved!
Featured image by Daniel Zuchnik/Getty Images
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
Alaska Wasn’t On My Bucket List, But My Glacier Adventure Made Me A Believer
We all have bucket list destinations at the top of our lists. I visited one of those at the top of 2024: Japan! But what happens when you get an opportunity to go someplace that wasn’t on it? For me, that was Alaska. Now, I’d submitted my short film to the Anchorage International Film Festival, genuinely thinking it would be a long shot to get in with a short film about fibroids and Black women’s health.
However, to my surprise, I received an email that read: “It’s with great excitement that we announce your film, Super High: A Period Piece, has been selected for the 24th Anchorage International Film Festival.” After looking at the flight distance from Atlanta to Anchorage—a solid 10 hours one way— I’d decided this would be one I wouldn’t attend.
That was until there was a follow-up email that shared that the festival was sponsoring two excursions for filmmakers: A Northern Lights Tour and A Glacier Hike.
With that, I knew I had to make the trip to the 49th state! I flew Delta, which offered the shortest layovers—just 50 minutes each way. For a more comfortable flight on the longer legs that were about six hours between my layover city and Anchorage, I upgraded to first class with an in-app discount for $256 (the regular price of a first-class ticket runs about $2,100), which was so worth it for additional space and service for the six-hour trek.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
"So What’s Alaska Like? Did You Have To Wear a Snowsuit? What’s the Food Like?"
These are among the major questions I’ve gotten. Anchorage reminds me less of a bustling major city and more of a small town with an easygoing feel. When I arrived, they’d just had snow a few days before, so it was cold, and the streets were slick. So, I was so happy I’d invested in a pair of snow boots. For my first few days, the locals said it was warm. Warm to them being 20s at night and mid-30s during the day.
However, by the time I left, fresh snow was on the ground, and temps were well into the single digits—and it felt like it. Oh, the sun doesn’t rise until 10:30 a.m., and it sets around 4 p.m. That was among the most challenging things to experience because I felt like I never really woke up. So, between the lack of sun and the four-hour time difference, I felt tired the whole time I was there.
As for food, I didn’t explore a ton because I was so cold. But I found two gems! First was Whiskey and Ramen. If you enjoy ramen and exceptional service, this is a must-visit. I’d make a trip back just for their Wagyu ramen and their special take on an old fashion!
And, for coffee, I thoroughly enjoyed That Feeling Co. The coffee was great, and being surrounded by plants helped to perk up my spirits.
The Northern Lights
Iceland is one of the most popular places to see the Northern Lights, so I was very excited to know that Alaska also gets to see the Aurora Borealis light show. Typically, many people visit Fairbanks to see them, but there are tours offered in Anchorage too! When prepping for the late-night tour, we’d heard that the night we were heading out to see the lights, the cloud coverage likely meant we wouldn’t be able to see them. Bummer. I know. So, we could sit the tour out or still try. But, in my mind, I was like, why would I come all the way to Alaska not to try?
So, at about 9:30 p.m., we piled into vans and headed out to chase the Northern Lights. We traveled about an hour and a half from Anchorage, and when we stepped out of the van, it was cold and pitch black. And unfortunately, after a couple of hours in the cold, those clouds in the sky never parted for us. I know that when we see the posts of people who do get to see Mother Nature do her thing, we don’t have all of the context of the science, which is Aurora Borealis.
Sometimes, the weather just doesn’t do what we earthlings would like, which can lead to disappointment. However, our guide did give a recommendation. When you book a trip to see the lights, give yourself four to five days to see them. Don’t bank on one day because, at the end of the day, this is science.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Now, On to the Glacier!
Just six hours after returning from the Northern Lights tour, we were up for the glacier tour because they were back-to-back! I was exhausted and so excited. If someone had told me I’d hike on a glacier, I would have given them a mean side-eye. I mean, where on earth does one climb a glacier? Let me share a few destinations with you, just in case you want to plan an icy adventure: Switzerland, Norway, Iceland, Chile, Argentina, and Alaska.
Aside from the fact the Matanuska Glacier is 22,000 years old, it’s the largest glacier accessible by car in the United States—27 miles long and four miles wide, making it one of the easier ones to see IRL. As a girlie with generalized anxiety disorder, I get anxious about doing this kind of thing because I know that to see these world wonders is usually a mountainous trek.
This one was two hours long, one-way, up snow-capped, windy, mountainous terrain. However, my therapist always reminds me to push myself to do what scares me (as long as it’s for a reason, of course). I held my breath for the journey there and back! And white-knuckled it from time to time, too.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Once we got there, we were surrounded by fresh, fluffy snow, and it was COLD! In the negative cold. I was thankful, I’d over-prepared. If you even go on a glacier tour, I recommend a few things: Balaclava, heavy-weight gloves, cashmere socks, snow boots, and lots of layers.
Here’s what I wore. My first layer was Ann Taylor leggings and a Wolford Turtleneck. Then, I layered a cashmere turtleneck and cashmere joggers. A COACH down vest, which I’d recommend anyone own just for winter, in general, because it’s SO warm! For my feet, I wore Ann Taylor cashmere socks (I love these because they’re affordable and so warm) and Adidas Adifom Superstar Winter Boot and topped all of that with a Brandon Blackwood ankle-length parka. I know BB is known for his accessories, but the brand’s outwear is truly amazing and worth the investment. After two hours on the ice, I felt great!
If you’re open to adventure travel, I highly recommend putting a glacier tour on your list of things to do. There are a few reasons. First, standing on an ice age-old massive piece of glacier was my 2024 version of touching some grass. I was reminded that I’m a speck on this spinning rock and need to spend more time grounded in that fact as I move through the world. I looked to the sky and thought of how proud my ancestors would be, even though I know they’d be telling me to get my butt home and off a dog on a glacier!
Secondly, I gained an ever-large appreciation for Mother Nature as I learned that glaciers are the world's largest reservoir of freshwater, containing around 69% of the world's freshwater. Again, another fact that helped me gain perspective. Lastly, it’s just fun and stunningly beautiful!
After this, I’m looking forward to my next cold-weather adventure! Iceland and Argentina are at the top of the list!
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Featured image courtesy of Bianca Lambert