This week was the block party we've been waiting all quarantine long for (FINALLY) and it did not disappoint. Insecure fans are still recovering the events of said block party, which makes any previous drama like Molly's relationship/work life balance dilemma with Andrew from the previous episode look like small potatoes.
ICYMI…
There's been a lot of build-up this whole season that came down to an explosive argument between Issa and Molly at the end of the block party. The very public screaming match between the two besties went from heated confrontation to almost throwing hands to a someone yelling "gun" and breaking up the entire scene. I'm going to add that just before this all went down the pair looked like they were headed toward a reconciliation over "The Wobble". So, WTF?
Trying to make sense of what I just watched, and how one of television's best duos just called it quits, I discussed real-life buddy breakups with my friends. I've had a few friendship breakups over the years. Some dramatic, and some not so much. What I can say is that they've all been learning experiences. I'm a firm believer in this universal relationship truth: They're either a blessin' or a lesson. Ex friends were lessons that I learned things like what type of energy I want to surround myself with, how to forgive others for my own peace, and believe someone when they repeatedly show you who they are. I have a few blessings in my life in the form of best friends, too. At some point in my best friendships, we've had a falling out. Most of them are dumb when I explain them out loud now, or I can't even remember how they started, or the details are blurry between what actually happened and the embellishments I added in my head—as I suspect this Molly and Issa situation will play out years later.
But before you take the high road, you usually do a detour on the petty path and while the petty path is so not the right way, it's always the most entertaining. So, I reached out to Insecure fans to ask them:
Have you ever had a public, or otherwise, friend breakup? What happened? Did you come back from it?
We Didn’t Speak For A Year And Then He Apologized
"I had a very public breakup with my BFF on Facebook. He and I had been friends since '98. Can you imagine, 20 years? We had huge spat where we couldn't see eye to eye, but before that, we were throwing low blows and things were said that he couldn't take back. We didn't speak for a year and then he reached out and apologized. We had to have that difficult talk but it was worth it. Things aren't the same but I don't want them to be; I want them to be better. We're taking it slow coming back into each other's lives and I'm glad. I did miss my friend." –Amiyah Deziire, Author, Midnight Confessions
Temporary Breaks Are Healthy
"I had a best friend breakup like a year back. She is a spicy one and very headstrong girl from Brooklyn and so am I. We just clicked from the jump, but when I say we had multiple arguments, cursing battles and extreme dramatic displays of annoyance, it's not an exaggeration. We're both in the army; that's how we met. We were and are still close. It's crazy because [there was no single blow up that led to the breakup], it was more so what happened daily. But we made it through.
"Yes, we had our breaks in between, but I would say that's needed in close relationships. It helps set healthy boundaries because we had none in the beginning."
"Two-week breaks [every once in a while] is normal in my opinion. Now, we're closer than ever. She's still spicy though, but that's what I love about her." –Sgt. Simone Victor, U.S. Army
A Tragic Accident Forced Us To Reconnect
"I had a friend breakup with my best friend of over 20 years. It was very similar to how Issa and Molly's played out with myself being the more passive friend who usually shuts down. I had no desire to argue why I was worthy enough to be her friend or let her control how I should be a friend to her. We had our final argument the day before her baby shower and I decided after her treatment towards me for not responding to her how she wanted, I was not showing up to the baby shower. I now know that was wrong and spiteful. Needless to say, she was pissed and we didn't speaks for 6 months.
"A mutual friend of ours was in a tragic car accident and my best friend decided to reach out. I do regret that I didn't reach out first or initiate a conversation because I needed to grow up. A major flaw of mine is that I go into my shutdown mode. However, we went out to eat to fully communicate our honest feelings and decided to move on. Four years later, we lost one of the closest girlfriends to us and have realized nothing is worth us not communicating and we will never get to that place where we were before. At least that's how we feel for now but you never know, shit always changing. (laughs)!" –LaToya D., @the.analoggirl, www.theanaloggirl.com
Respect Me Enough To Handle Our Beef One On One
"Issa and Molly fighting in public, where they had countless opportunities to discuss their issues privately, is a HELL NO, YOU GOT ME F%^&ED UP.
"If you are my best friend, give me the ultimate respect of handling our beef one on one. The block party was an important night for Issa, Molly should've put her ego and feelings to the side and discussed her issues with Issa another day. It's normal for friends to argue and disagree but timing is everything and this was NOT the right time. In regard to breaking up with a friend, Issa and Molly definitely need to step away from each other (for now). When there is a lot of hurt feelings, shade, or disagreements, the cause of the fight takes a back seat. You can't resolve an issue when you are throwing shade or fighting in the streets.
"You also can't expect someone to treat you like you treat them. Some people don't know how to be a friend. If you feel used, betrayed, or belittled, that is not your friend. If your energy is down when you are around them, that is not your friend. If you are constantly saying, 'I am always doing XYZ for this person but it is not reciprocated'—THAT IS NOT YOUR FRIEND!"
"Do like Taye Diggs said in Brown Sugar:
"'Celebrating what?'
"'MY DIVORCE.'"
–Kateri Fischer, On-Air Scheduling Coordinator, BET Networks
Even The Strongest Friendships Get Tested
"While I've never had a public friend breakup, I've definitely parted ways with a few friends. I'd say friendship breakups are harder to go through than romantic ones because of how vulnerable you are with friends. My friendship breakups centered around a lack of reliability in such friend, not feeling comfortable talking about my issues with such friend or just not connecting with such friend on the same level anymore. Usually what happens is a slow phase out until we are no longer on speaking terms. I'd say we both knew the friendship wasn't benefiting either of us and at that point it's time to cut your losses. I've only had one friend try to dig herself out of the grave and contact me to rekindle the friendship.
"However, at the end of the day that relationship will never be the same again since we aren't the same. What I mean is people change throughout life, they grow in many different beautiful ways. Sometimes your growth can mean growing apart from a friend who didn't transform in the same way as you and that's OK."
"I hope Molly and Issa can fix the issue of communication but if they feel that they can continue their personal growth without one another, that's fine too. Even the strongest friendships get tested at times, if they pull through then the friendship can become stronger than ever." –India Douglas, Licensed Master Social Worker (LMSW)
The Fact It Was So Public Was Very Damaging
"I had a very serious friend breakup in front of mutual friends and other people who were very close to me personally but not close to her. We had a very intense and heated argument and we were not able to mend that relationship again. I think we both were embarrassed and very hurt about how public it was, and it was just something that we couldn't move past.
"We're no longer friends and don't have any plans of rekindling the friendship as we both have grown apart. But I think that some friendships just end up that way when people grow apart. Adding in the element of being public was also very damaging for the relationship. I think arguments, discussions and conversations are probably best in private." –K.C, Marketing Manager
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Featured image via HBO/Insecure
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It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Alistair Berg/Getty ImagesStep 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Getty ImagesStep 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
DMP/ Getty ImagesStep 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
However, to my surprise, I received an email that read: “It’s with great excitement that we announce your film, Super High: A Period Piece, has been selected for the 24th Anchorage International Film Festival.” After looking at the flight distance from Atlanta to Anchorage—a solid 10 hours one way— I’d decided this would be one I wouldn’t attend.
That was until there was a follow-up email that shared that the festival was sponsoring two excursions for filmmakers: A Northern Lights Tour and A Glacier Hike.
With that, I knew I had to make the trip to the 49th state! I flew Delta, which offered the shortest layovers—just 50 minutes each way. For a more comfortable flight on the longer legs that were about six hours between my layover city and Anchorage, I upgraded to first class with an in-app discount for $256 (the regular price of a first-class ticket runs about $2,100), which was so worth it for additional space and service for the six-hour trek.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
"So What’s Alaska Like? Did You Have To Wear a Snowsuit? What’s the Food Like?"
These are among the major questions I’ve gotten. Anchorage reminds me less of a bustling major city and more of a small town with an easygoing feel. When I arrived, they’d just had snow a few days before, so it was cold, and the streets were slick. So, I was so happy I’d invested in a pair of snow boots. For my first few days, the locals said it was warm. Warm to them being 20s at night and mid-30s during the day.
However, by the time I left, fresh snow was on the ground, and temps were well into the single digits—and it felt like it. Oh, the sun doesn’t rise until 10:30 a.m., and it sets around 4 p.m. That was among the most challenging things to experience because I felt like I never really woke up. So, between the lack of sun and the four-hour time difference, I felt tired the whole time I was there.
As for food, I didn’t explore a ton because I was so cold. But I found two gems! First was Whiskey and Ramen. If you enjoy ramen and exceptional service, this is a must-visit. I’d make a trip back just for their Wagyu ramen and their special take on an old fashion!
And, for coffee, I thoroughly enjoyed That Feeling Co. The coffee was great, and being surrounded by plants helped to perk up my spirits.
The Northern Lights
Iceland is one of the most popular places to see the Northern Lights, so I was very excited to know that Alaska also gets to see the Aurora Borealis light show. Typically, many people visit Fairbanks to see them, but there are tours offered in Anchorage too! When prepping for the late-night tour, we’d heard that the night we were heading out to see the lights, the cloud coverage likely meant we wouldn’t be able to see them. Bummer. I know. So, we could sit the tour out or still try. But, in my mind, I was like, why would I come all the way to Alaska not to try?
So, at about 9:30 p.m., we piled into vans and headed out to chase the Northern Lights. We traveled about an hour and a half from Anchorage, and when we stepped out of the van, it was cold and pitch black. And unfortunately, after a couple of hours in the cold, those clouds in the sky never parted for us. I know that when we see the posts of people who do get to see Mother Nature do her thing, we don’t have all of the context of the science, which is Aurora Borealis.
Sometimes, the weather just doesn’t do what we earthlings would like, which can lead to disappointment. However, our guide did give a recommendation. When you book a trip to see the lights, give yourself four to five days to see them. Don’t bank on one day because, at the end of the day, this is science.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Now, On to the Glacier!
Just six hours after returning from the Northern Lights tour, we were up for the glacier tour because they were back-to-back! I was exhausted and so excited. If someone had told me I’d hike on a glacier, I would have given them a mean side-eye. I mean, where on earth does one climb a glacier? Let me share a few destinations with you, just in case you want to plan an icy adventure: Switzerland, Norway, Iceland, Chile, Argentina, and Alaska.
Aside from the fact the Matanuska Glacier is 22,000 years old, it’s the largest glacier accessible by car in the United States—27 miles long and four miles wide, making it one of the easier ones to see IRL. As a girlie with generalized anxiety disorder, I get anxious about doing this kind of thing because I know that to see these world wonders is usually a mountainous trek.
This one was two hours long, one-way, up snow-capped, windy, mountainous terrain. However, my therapist always reminds me to push myself to do what scares me (as long as it’s for a reason, of course). I held my breath for the journey there and back! And white-knuckled it from time to time, too.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Once we got there, we were surrounded by fresh, fluffy snow, and it was COLD! In the negative cold. I was thankful, I’d over-prepared. If you even go on a glacier tour, I recommend a few things: Balaclava, heavy-weight gloves, cashmere socks, snow boots, and lots of layers.
Here’s what I wore. My first layer was Ann Taylor leggings and a Wolford Turtleneck. Then, I layered a cashmere turtleneck and cashmere joggers. A COACH down vest, which I’d recommend anyone own just for winter, in general, because it’s SO warm! For my feet, I wore Ann Taylor cashmere socks (I love these because they’re affordable and so warm) and Adidas Adifom Superstar Winter Boot and topped all of that with a Brandon Blackwood ankle-length parka. I know BB is known for his accessories, but the brand’s outwear is truly amazing and worth the investment. After two hours on the ice, I felt great!
If you’re open to adventure travel, I highly recommend putting a glacier tour on your list of things to do. There are a few reasons. First, standing on an ice age-old massive piece of glacier was my 2024 version of touching some grass. I was reminded that I’m a speck on this spinning rock and need to spend more time grounded in that fact as I move through the world. I looked to the sky and thought of how proud my ancestors would be, even though I know they’d be telling me to get my butt home and off a dog on a glacier!
Secondly, I gained an ever-large appreciation for Mother Nature as I learned that glaciers are the world's largest reservoir of freshwater, containing around 69% of the world's freshwater. Again, another fact that helped me gain perspective. Lastly, it’s just fun and stunningly beautiful!
After this, I’m looking forward to my next cold-weather adventure! Iceland and Argentina are at the top of the list!
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Featured image courtesy of Bianca Lambert