Although I write about romantic relationships more than friendships, I do enjoy covering the topic of what it means to have a good — and not-so-good — friend from time to time. And when it comes to this platform and today’s topic, if there are two articles that I wish everyone would read before diving into what we’re about to tackle, they would probably be “Always Remember That Friendships Have 'Levels' To Them” and “According To Aristotle, We Need ‘Utility’, ‘Pleasure’ & ‘Good’ Friends.”
Understanding the Difference Between a Close Friend & an Acquaintance
Why? Because they both address the issue that not all friendships are created equal — and y’all, keeping that in mind is definitely something that can spare you a lot of unnecessary drama and trauma. Yet, even beyond that, I think it’s important to recognize and then accept that just because you and some people have things in common or enjoy spending time together, it doesn’t necessarily or automatically mean that they have earned the honor of actually being your friend (check out “Allow These Things To Happen Before Calling Someone 'Friend'”).
I’m telling you, spend enough time on this earth and you’ll realize that a true friend is rare; however, what isn’t so hard to find are good or even close acquaintances.
So, let’s explore some of the main differences between an acquaintance and a friend. I’m telling you, a simple exercise like this can make your relationships so much easier to deal with and navigate through — because when you’re clear about who and what someone is, you can then manage your expectations and move accordingly (which is a lifesaver in the long run).
The Difference Between a Close Friend and an Acquaintance
1. Acquaintances Are Casual. Friendships Are Purposeful.
GiphyIf you get nothing else out of this, please hear me when I say that one way to know if someone is truly an individual who needs to be in your life, on an intimate level, is they will reveal or magnify some sort of real purpose for you. While one definition of purpose is "the reason why something exists," another definition is "an intended result" and yes, a friend should be able to check off these boxes.
What I mean by this is, if you were to journal about your actual friends (which isn’t a bad idea, by the way), it shouldn’t take you very long to jot down the clear ways that they help you to become a better person and the things that they’ve added to your life — and indirectly because of that, yes, you should end up becoming stronger in your purpose or better equipped to reach certain goals (because when something or someone makes you better in one way, it tends to have a rippling effect into others).
On the other hand, when it comes to acquaintances, it doesn’t usually go that deep because it doesn’t really matter. Since the dynamic is more casual, if they’re around, cool, and if they’re not…also, cool. You may like spending time with them; however, as far as actually needing them in your life? Eh…probably not.
The point that I’m trying to make here is, that if your life was a long-ass movie about friendships, acquaintances wouldn’t have leading or supporting roles. Nah, they would be more like the extras; close ones? They might have a line or two. Yes, they create a presence — just not a super significant one.
2. Acquaintances Have Walls. Friendships Don’t.
GiphyOne definition of an acquaintance is someone you know; at the same time, they aren’t someone who you are particularly close to. Know what that means to me? An acquaintance is someone who you have some boundaries, limits, and even walls up with. Sure, they’re fun to be around; still, that doesn’t mean that when the two of you hang out, they need to know what’s going on with you and your man or that you’ve been going through a season of feeling kind of low about yourself.
An acquaintance, even a close one, is someone who you can exchange superficial stories with at work or enjoy a couple of drinks with afterward — yet if you were to die today, they would probably come to your funeral and be surprised about a lot of the things that were said about you because when the two of you are together, you tend to stay in the “shallow end” of the relational pool…and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Intimacy is earned, and acquaintances are usually either not interested in or willing to put in the work to get that close to you. All good. You’ve already got friends for that.
And yes, while it is good and wise to have a certain level of boundaries with all people (and I do mean, ALL — if you’re married and never read the book,Boundaries in Marriage: Understanding the Choices That Make or Break Loving Relationships, it’s a blessing), because friends tend to be people who you really know and fully trust, you don’t need to be as guarded. And that’s why they are typically the first folks you call when you lose your job, or you need the kind of favor that you might be uncomfortable asking anyone else for (sometimes, including your own family).
At the same time, because your walls are down with them, they are just as comfortable coming to you with very private matters or needs as well.
3. Acquaintances Are Transient. Friendships Are (Typically) Longer Lasting.
GiphyProbably one of the biggest differences between a close acquaintance and an actual friend is that since there is no commitment in acquaintance dynamics, they don’t tend to have a very long (or reliable) shelf life. In other words, a good acquaintance might be in your life for a few months while you’re taking a class together or maybe even a couple of years while you’re working at a particular job; however, once you shift, the interaction with that individual does, too.
Since the two of you are not mutually invested on a deeper level, you’re usually not intentional about doing what is required to make the relationship last no matter what — like you would with a friendship.
With friendships…say that one of yours was about to move to another city or state. If they are truly your friend, the two of you are going to discuss what needs to be done to keep the relationship as intact as possible. With an acquaintance? It’s more like, “It was good knowing you, take care, and let’s make sure to follow each other on socials.”
For the record, that’s not a red flag. You’re not bonded on any significant level, so there’s no need to work on the relationship as if you are. #Elmoshrug
4. Acquaintances Are Compartmentalized. Friendships Aren’t. Kind Of.
GiphyRemember how I said in the intro that Aristotle once said that we should have utility, pleasure, and good friends? I agree with that wholeheartedly in the overall picture. Why? Knowing if your friends are connected to your work/purpose, if they are simply to help you to relax and have a good time, or if they are there to help hold you accountable and build character, can help you to understand how to properly navigate through each of those relationships. At the same time, though, I actually think that acquaintances are even more compartmentalized than that.
Take a client of mine who needed some help deciding if he should move out of state or not. As we were going through the ever-so-faithful pros and cons list, he said that one thing that he really was going to miss was his softball team. He enjoys sports, working out, and the camaraderie between him and the players. Thing is, as I started to go deeper, he reflected on the fact that they don’t ever call to check on him in between games, and he really doesn’t interact with them at all outside of them. After about 20 minutes of talking it out, he came to the conclusion that all he really had in common with those people was softball — and that wasn’t really a good enough reason to stay (he left a week ago, by the way).
While I was in the process of “getting my letters” in life coaching, I met some hella cool people. During those several months, I talked to them a lot (hell, probably more than my actual friends) because I was in an accelerated program in order to get everything done within six months of time. Since I’ve finished, though? Eh. I talk to a couple of the other individuals every few months or so. They were compartmentalized acquaintances. We had school in common and not much else. And so, when school was over, so was our interaction. Fond memories, just nothing really life-altering to hold on to.
5. Acquaintances Don’t Require a Lot of Effort. Friendships Need Maintenance.
GiphyOkay, y’all see what month it is, right? My birthday was in June, and ever since then, a guy that I know has been promising to take me out for a (non-romantic) birthday dinner. Now, guess how many times he has rescheduled? Five — in a row. Yep. Matter of fact, at the time that I am penning this, just a couple of days ago, he shot another blank right when I was about to walk out of the door. I can only imagine how pissed I would’ve been had I not sent a text to confirm that he was going to meet me at the restaurant.
Not only was he on some “damn, my bad” again, he didn’t even call to make things right. After five damn times. Uh-uh. And what that actually confirmed for me is we’re not actually friends; we’re cool acquaintances because he was far too nonchalant and cavalier about messing with my schedule like that — and accepting that fact actually kept me from harboring any ill-will. I simply told him that we should remain in communication through the phone, and for now, it’s on him to even initiate that.
Yes, he’s busy (very; I’m aware of what he does in this city of mine); however, we prioritize what matters to us. It really is as simple as that.
The moral of the story with this one? One of the reasons why acquaintances are even a “thing” is because they are the types of people in our lives who don’t require a lot of mental or emotional effort. See, my actualfriends? They planned for my birthday beforehand because they know how important that day is to me. Acquaintances? Although you can’t convince me that he wasn’t tacky as hell for how he handled matters, clearly, he doesn’t see me as a friend because he was so flippant about everything.
While friends will make plans and make sure to keep them to show how much they value someone, acquaintances tend to be more on the tip of, “If you’re free, I’m free, and it’s not going to cause me to go out of my way, let’s hang out for a couple of hours.” And honestly, there is nothing wrong with this — so long as you and the other person have a mutual understanding that neither one of you wants to put a lot of effort into your dynamic — that you want things to be carefree with very little maintenance required.
Friendships? You can never be so cavalier. If you want them to remain healthy and strong, you’ve got to show up and put some work in…and not just when you “feel like it.”
6. Acquaintances Are Fun. Friendships Are Real.
GiphyHonestly, this one right here is why I think all of us can benefit from having some close — which can also be interchangeable with “consistent” — acquaintances in our lives. On the heels of what I just said, even though friendships are precious and necessary beyond measure, it can be fun to have folks around where it doesn’t require much to be in their space. Go to dinner, have some laughs about something you saw on TikTok, go home — end of story.
Since you and your acquaintances are not super invested in each other’s lives, you can keep things light and easy, pretty much all of the time and we all can use that type of relational refresher sometimes.
Actually, one of my closest friends and I talk about this fairly often. I adore her. She is one of my favorite people on the entire planet. Still, because we are so much a part of each other’s worlds, we like that we’ve also got individuals with who we can just sit around somewhere and share stories about celebrity news, our takes on politics, or what we learned from our 20s, laugh for hours and that be it.
Our friendship? Oh, we laugh — BE CLEAR. However, because of the level of our commitment, we have things that sometimes we have to work through as we grow, shift, and transition into different versions of ourselves. I guess the way that I would wrap this one up is a close acquaintance is oftentimes like a commercial break or intermission in life — if you see them for what they are and resign within yourself to not expect anymore, you can “exhale” in your moments with them and then go back to your world, as scheduled.
___
A Turkish playwright by the name of Mehmet Murat İldan once said, “Acquaintances are always abundant; friends are always scarce!” After reading this, perhaps it makes (more) sense why that is the case.
Y’all, there is nothing wrong with having acquaintances in your life. I personally find them to oftentimes be unexpected blessings. Just don’t try to turn them into friends if that’s not what they are supposed to be in your life.
From personal experience, I’m telling you that if you apply this relational rule, you can sit back and enjoy acquaintances for what they are. Friends for who they are…too.
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Taja, an actress known most for her role on BET’s The Oval, and businessman/model Ryan Easter tied the knot on July 27 in an intimate and beautiful wedding in LA - surrounded by friends and family. During our 40+ minute conversation, the newlyweds opened up about the inner work journey they both went through individually to become their best selves.
Taja revealed that her grateful and light spirit came after being in a depressive state and doing a great deal of healing and education. And Ryan shared how losing a parent as a youth affected how he showed up in the world and the truths he had to face to embrace who he is wholly.
The pair also chatted about the power of intention, the importance of working through trauma, and the work they do every day to honor their partnership. There’s a reason their glow is so beautiful! It comes from the inside.
“You're meeting me now after I've done all this work, but I had to go through it to get to that space and be in a very happy, healed relationship,” Taja says. Check out the layered conversation below.
xoNecole: I’ll start with the most obvious question: how did you two meet, and what were your initial feelings about each other?
Ryan Easter: We connected through friends. At the time, I was in New York, and she was back and forth between LA and Atlanta. But our mutual female friends were together and decided they needed to set me up. So they confirmed I was looking for something serious and then sent me her picture.
And I was like, "Okay, she looks good - a chocolate drop." But then I thought, "What's wrong with her? So, I called them up, and one of them was messing with me and said, "Oh, she's a little crazy." I was like, "Whoa, I can't do crazy anymore. I've dealt with that before. I’d rather stay by myself than deal with that again." Then she clarified, "No, I'm just kidding. She's crazy in a good way. She's a lot of fun and has her stuff together. That’s how it started for me.
Taja Simpson: I was just going about my life, getting ready for another season of The Oval, when I got a text from my friend Natasha. She said, "Hey, I don't think you're dating anybody, but I have a friend I think you should meet. He's a great guy." She gave me this huge pedigree, saying they had been friends for 19 years. I thought, "Wow, he sounds amazing." But when she sent me a photo, I didn’t like it.
Later, I thought about it and figured it could just not be a good picture. So she sent his Instagram which had all these modeling fitness pictures and stuff. And then I was like, wow - you had my whole husband this time and didn’t tell me - now I told her she could give him my number.
"I was just going about my life, getting ready for another season of The Oval, when I got a text from my friend Natasha. She said, "Hey, I don't think you're dating anybody, but I have a friend I think you should meet. He's a great guy." She gave me this huge pedigree, saying they had been friends for 19 years. I thought, "Wow, he sounds amazing." But when she sent me a photo, I didn’t like it."
Taja Simpson & Ryan Easter
Photo by @jorgemezaphotos
xoN: I love that because, you know, there's all these conversations about the ways people meet, and I still feel like friends and family are one of the best ways. It’s like they know you! What are your thoughts?
Ryan: Yeah, absolutely! You feel a great sense of obligation to be the best version of yourself because you’re not just representing yourself; you’re also representing the person who referred you. I can’t go out there acting like a fool and have them looking at their friend like, "Why did you hook me up with this clown?" It’s like, we're gonna be clear and honest about our intentions. And if it works, great, and if it doesn't, it's okay.
Taja: Exactly. When he called, we spoke that day for like, an hour. The rest was history. We just connected, and it was great. After that, we started talking every day, and now here we are.
xoN: Okay, so tell me about your first date! Do you remember where you went? What did you do? How was the vibe?
Taja: Our first in-person date was two months after we met over the phone. This was during COVID, so we got introduced in July 2020 but didn’t meet until September. From July to September, we were doing video dates and phone calls, building up this excitement about meeting in person. I was really nervous. I thought, "Oh my God, is it going to be like it was over the phone?" We really connected and vibed. I was there to pick him up at LAX, and I felt like this was it. I thought, "God put this brother in my life to be this good, this perfect." It felt too good to be true.
I actually had a friend meet us at the airport to film our meeting without him knowing. I told her to stay in the corner and keep the camera hidden. When he was coming down the escalator, I had this whole plan to run up to him in slow motion and jump into his arms. When I saw him, I froze. I was so nervous that I couldn’t move! He came up to me, gave me a big hug, and swung me around, and I just thought, "Wow!" Everything I planned went out the window.
Ryan: I was really excited to meet her, too. Technically, our first date was at Firestone Brewery. After the airport, we went back to her place to drop off my stuff, and then she said, "I like to drink beer," so she took me to a brewery nearby.
I remember being there, and we were kind of embracing, but not too much since it was technically the first time we were in physical proximity. You still have to play it cool, even after talking for a while. But every time I touched her, it felt good. I thought, "Yeah, this is it." When we hugged at the airport, I felt like, "Yo, this is home." At that moment, I knew she was the one.
xoN: Ugh, I love that. So when did the courtship start to develop into a relationship? Did y'all have that conversation?
Ryan: Initially, we were very clear about our intentions. We were both dating with purpose and had similar aspirations of eventually finding someone to marry, start a family, create businesses together, and live our lives to the fullest. We knew from the beginning that this was our goal and checked in with each other to see if we were on the same page.
After establishing our intentions, it was about having those small conversations. We discussed what was important to each of us—our needs, wants, likes, dislikes, triggers, and traumas. All those details are crucial for building a solid foundation for a healthy relationship. We spent a lot of time getting to know the real person, not just the representative we might present to the world.
Sometimes, it’s difficult because it requires us to be extremely vulnerable. For men, especially in our society, vulnerability is often frowned upon, making it hard to expose that sensitive side. You never know how people will react—some might use it against you, while others might protect you.
I think for her; it took her understanding that mentality that men have and use that to her advantage to make sure she's like, look, this is a safe space for you to allow me to see the full person that you are. I appreciated that because, like, I would tell her, if you really want a man to value you, he has to feel safe with you, right, not necessarily in a physical capacity but more so from an emotional standpoint; I need to feel like I can be safe with you emotionally.
So that courtship was a lot of just having those serious, sometimes difficult conversations about things we're going through in the past to things we aspire to accomplish in the future, to things that we're currently dealing with, and started to gain that understanding about who we are and what we aspire to be, and just continue to flow.
"So that courtship was a lot of just having those serious, sometimes difficult conversations about things we're going through in the past to things we aspire to accomplish in the future, to things that we're currently dealing with, and started to gain that understanding about who we are and what we aspire to be, and just continue to flow."
Taja: I mean, that's exactly right, and a lot of it we spoke about even before we met. Because it was this free thing where we didn’t know each other. We didn't have to be a representative. I was just my authentic self. It’s like - I'm an actor, and I got five or six characters that may come out in our conversation. I'll be funny, then the next moment, I'll be serious. It just happens.
I was very vocal about how I foresee my life going. Also, because I'm in entertainment, that played a part. I had met people before who couldn't handle that. They wanted a woman with a nine-to-five, a teacher, or just somebody with a very strict schedule. But that wasn't me. So I think we were super intentional when it came to dating and making sure we can build and grow together. So, we made that commitment prior to him leaving. He came to LA for a week, and the day before he left, it was like, okay, so this is it.
xoN: I’ve noticed that intention and vulnerability are both powerful words that you two keep using, which I think is essential for any long-term relationship. What are some of your other shared values?
Ryan: Also, we both understood the power of mindset. When you see successful or unsuccessful people, sometimes others will attribute their state to their family or money. And I'm not saying that that doesn't help. But there are a lot of people who have come from very humble beginnings and very troubled past that have gone on to do great things, and it all had to do with their mindset. They had to leave and see themselves doing what they desired to do before it became a reality in the physical realm.
I think a lot of those beliefs and mentalities that we shared was refreshing because, you know, we've all known people that every time you talk to them, something bad is going on. And it's such a drag because they can bring your energy down. We don't subscribe to that. Not saying that we don't go through tough times. But when we do, the question that we always ask ourselves is, what is it that I'm supposed to learn from this? I think those type of elements of just being in alignment mentally about how we view the world definitely help to solidify our relationship and our connection.
Taja: When we met, I was in a headspace of growth. We now call it believe, evolve, become because you have to believe that thing right in order to show up. We both understand that your vibration precedes your manifestation, so you have to vibrate and believe at a certain level. Act as if you have to be in that space, that energy, in order for that thing to come so you can evolve and then become whatever that said thing is. But I was in that headspace before we met, and I was clearing out people in my life.
I was really intentional with finding someone that was in that headspace, too. I was not okay with anyone being stagnant.
Taja Simpson & Ryan Easter
Photo by @jorgemezaphotos
xoN: You two seem so evolved individually and collectively. I'm curious, were there any challenges that you two had to get through together, and what did you learn from that experience?
Ryan: Being parents. And if your partner doesn't have a great pregnancy, then it can be tough, and it stretches you in a lot of ways. But I would definitely say the first five months of being new parents was a lot because we were both exhausted. And she's also trying to heal her body because giving birth puts a tremendous amount of stress on the woman's body. It gives you a different respect for the strength of femininity because I wouldn't want to go through that. And I was there the whole 29 hours.
So during that time I'm getting snappy because I need to rest. I have not been able to rest, and I'm sleep-deprived, and I don't feel like I got my foot in yet. And, and then, on top of that, you have this, this really small human that's completely dependent upon you. They can't do anything for himself, and that, even psychologically, that's a lot to carry. But the thing that I think that has helped us is that we understand that we won't always be on the same page. It's okay to have disagreements, but you always have to lead with love, meaning that if I'm upset with her or she's upset with me, we focus on what the issue is.
Taja: I had a horrible pregnancy and was still feeling like I want to be productive; it’s just part of who I am. And during the newborn phase, like he said, we were exhausted. We were zombies. I'm getting whiny. I need sleep. He's getting snappy and short, and we're having to figure out us. The hardest thing is trying to still learn how to effectively communicate in the midst of this space where you are exhausted; you don't feel good, nothing's going your way.
But I'm a big believer of being accountable, especially for women, because women are not always accountable. But we encourage each other to address the trauma and encourage positive self-thought and talk. Because what you think, speak, and do creates power for better and worse.
xoN: Were there any past traumas you had to heal from in order to love each other correctly, and do you feel comfortable discussing them?
Ryan: For me, the biggest thing was my father’s death at nine. You’re young, and you don’t know how to process the loss. It’s one of those things I thought I dealt with, but when I got into my adult years, I realized it didn’t. I always felt like I had to go above and beyond because I didn’t have my father there to be a man - I excelled in sports and academics, but it was based on an inadequate feeling.
I understand the importance of fathers in children’s life but you still have the power to be the best version of yourself whether your father is there or not. And I believe the almighty Creator will put people in your life to be the best version of yourself. I wanted to be that confident person for her and our children - and I didn’t want to carry that trauma into our relationship or our son. So I worked on it before us and I continue to now.
Taja: Mine was colorism. I grew up where the brown paper bag thing was a thing. There were kids I couldn’t play with because “I was too Black.” I had a family member who called me “Ew.” Like she’d literally say, come here, Ew, you ugly thing. And my family, for a long time, didn’t realize how it was breaking me. But eventually, my mom noticed and taught me more about self-esteem and then I started to do the work. But it still shows its head. I still would have thoughts that I’m not good enough because of how I look. I’ve literally not tried out for roles because of that. One of my friends’ friends has literally called out once that I was the only dark person at an event.
So when I started doing the work, I noticed the ways it showed up, like I just wouldn’t want to be in the sun long. I mean when I was younger, I used to pray to God to make me “better” or lighter. It took a long time to really get over that. There’s a book I wrote called Women Who Shine - where I got my thoughts out about this.
So he knows my sensitive spots and speaks to the little girl in me. It's so interesting how the things we go through when we’re young affect us in adulthood. Mental health is as important as physical health - and I’m grateful that he understands the importance of both of those.
xoN: Thank you for your vulnerability. I hope it helps someone else. Finally, I’ll close with this: what’s your favorite thing about each other?
Ryan: Definitely her mindset. She doesn’t have a victim mindset; she’s empowered. That’s so attractive. I believe that she prides herself on being a good, great communicator. She moves with integrity, you know, I think that's important. And you know, she also understands the importance of taking care of her physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing.
Taja: There’s so many. Where do I start? My husband is supremely supportive. I absolutely love that about him. Also, I love his intention. I love how effectively he communicates. I love how he fathers our child. I love how he looks. Because, praise God. Okay, I'm just gonna put that out there.
But you know what, my favorite thing about him is that I love that he's a man of integrity.
Integrity was the highest things on my list when I’d write out what I wanted in a partner. Because it’s everything. And so I love that I feel the level of safety that I feel with him, that I can completely be my 100% authentic self. I know that he's taking care of me, my heart, and our family. We're good.
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Mercury enters Sagittarius on November 2, will be retrograde from Nov. 25 until Dec. 15, and will be in this sign until Jan. 8, 2025. Mercury in Sagittarius is bold and outspoken but, in retrograde, can come across as impulsive and brash. Thinking before speaking is important right now, and so is considering your values and interests before committing to something new. Since Sagittarius rules long-distance travel, this isn’t the best time to plan a new trip or to rush the ones already in place.
Consider where you want to be, and take your time getting there.
What to Expect from Mercury Retrograde in Sagittarius
A little more than a week after Mercury goes retrograde in Sagittarius, Mars goes retrograde in Leo. With these important transits happening in fire signs, energy can be misdirected right now. It’s about looking at the full picture and not overwhelming yourself with too many options or interests. Take your passions and align them with your heart and willpower, without confusing inspiration with ego. Emotions are running high, yet this activation is creating a breakthrough in personal development before the year ends.
Read below to see how this Mercury retrograde transit will be for you. Read for your sun sign and rising sign.
ARIES
Mercury goes retrograde in Sagittarius, and you are focused on the bigger picture right now, Aries. With Mercury retrograde in your 9th house of adventure over the next few weeks, this is the time to expect the unexpected and to go at your own pace. Don’t rush the clarity that is meant to bloom for you right now, and take things one day at a time.
Even if you don’t have all the answers you need right now, there are still some important truths and insights to gain. You are in the process of reinventing yourself and your life, and the universe is helping you get the space in order to do so. If you are traveling over the next few weeks, remember to be flexible and to go over plans thoroughly.
TAURUS
Mercury goes retrograde, and you enter a time of change and rebirth, Taurus. This transit, for you, is an opportunity to gain balance, perspective, and empowerment. Your commitments and close partnerships are being addressed right now, and you are seeing where your needs are being met and where they aren’t. You are on a journey of letting go and allowing more, and this is the time to focus on being more flexible rather than controlling outcomes.
This retrograde could also be affecting your shared finances and earnings, and this is a good time to take another look at the money coming in and the money going out and make sure things are in order here. Trust your intuition right now, Taurus.
GEMINI
Mercury goes retrograde in your sister sign, Sagittarius, and you are ready for a fresh perspective in love. This retrograde will highlight your 7th house of partnership, connection, romance, and inner harmony, and your heart is figuring things out right now. Confusion or disagreements are more likely within your relationship dynamics, and this is the time to address what your partnerships need.
If you have been feeling out of balance when it comes to love, then this is the time to get things back on track.
This Mercury retrograde is helping you gain a new perspective and reminds you that you deserve the love you are looking for. Use this time to forgive, grow, and use better judgment regarding matters of the heart and the relationships you are building in your life right now.
CancerCoveteur
CANCER
This Mercury retrograde transit for you is a chance to gain some renewed clarity regarding your health, well-being, and work life. You could be feeling more pressure to perform and have it all together on the job, and there is a need to delegate, let go, and take care of your health more right now, Cancer.
This transit will highlight where some cracks are seeping, where you may need to build stronger foundations and healthier daily routines, and also how you can manage a better work/life balance. Your daily lifestyle may feel a little more difficult to find consistency in right now, and this is because new avenues and perspectives are waiting for you to grab ahold of. Overall, use this time to listen to your inner voice and do more of what feels right for you and your body.
LEO
Mercury goes retrograde in Sagittarius, and this transit highlights your 5th house of romance, creativity, passion, and happiness, Leo. This retrograde is an opportunity for you to address what and who makes you happy and how you can show up more for these fortunate experiences in your life. You are looking at if you’ve been making your happiness as much of a priority as it should be this year and also taking a look at what sources help you align with that energy altogether.
This time is about being a little bit more flexible, doing things differently, and being open to a new perspective. Relationship developments are also providing your heart more clarity right now, and you are balancing your needs with the needs of your partnerships and creative ventures.
VIRGO
Your ruling planet Mercury goes retrograde before the year ends, and this is helping you rebuild your foundations, Virgo. Mercury will be retrograde in an area of your life that has to do with your home, history, family, and emotional stability- and you are getting a new grasp on things here.
Where you have been planting your seeds and building for your future are coming up for review during this time, and you are gaining clarity on which of these foundations is stable enough to continue to build upon. You could be feeling less secure than you would like to right now, and this change of pace is helping you reassess your goals and figure out what is worth it for you and the legacy you want to live.
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LIBRA
Mercury goes retrograde in Sagittarius, and the focus turns towards your communication channels, Libra. Mercury retro is already a more chaotic time when it comes to communication, and with this retrograde also happening in your 3rd house of insight and communication, you may feel this heaviness a little more right now.
This transit, for you, is about taking your time getting your message across, being patient while traveling and running errands, and giving yourself space to gain some new clarity.
Meditation, journaling, and talking to someone who can support you are therapeutic, and know that your voice deserves to be heard. You are looking at ways you can take up more space and show up in the world without letting your insecurities keep you away from true connection, vulnerability, and understanding.
SCORPIO
This Mercury retrograde is happening in your 2nd house of income, values, assets, and self-confidence, and you are taking a step back to assess your current reality, especially financially, Scorpio. This is a good time to go over your spending habits and earnings, to find greater balance here, and to think about some of your financial goals moving forward.
Look at your resources, skills, and talents, and make sure what you are receiving is equal to or greater than what you have been giving. Less is more right now, and this isn’t the best time to overspend or overindulge, as you need more time to grasp your current stance on things, and how to increase your overall wealth and abundance.
SAGITTARIUS
With this Mercury retrograde happening in your sign, it’s hitting a little closer to home for you, Sagittarius. This is a good time to refine your goals and direction in life and how you want to show up right now. You deserve to be able to change your mind when you need to, and you are thinking about some of the things you have done and what you want to do moving forward.
Miscommunications are more likely while Mercury is in retrograde, but you can use this as a source of empowerment, knowing that you are living in your truth and allowing yourself room to grow in the process. Remember to be a little kinder to yourself during this transit and to give yourself the grace you need right now.
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CAPRICORN
This Mercury retrograde for you, Capricorn, is about rest and taking care of your emotional world. You are being given the opportunity to spend more time alone, to gather your strength, and to heal before you enter the new year. A lot has happened, and there have been many changes in your world this year. This Mercury retrograde is here to help you find acceptance and closure.
You are in a preparation stage right now, and things can feel a little more lonesome in this energy, but with a different perspective, you can see just how much of this space your heart truly needs right now. The past is coming up for you to see things in a new light, and you are ready to gain some renewed insight, closure, and healing.
AQUARIUS
This Mercury retrograde highlights your friendships, community, and your hopes and dreams, Aquarius. You are being reminded of the importance of connection, but more significantly, of good connections. You are looking at who and what surrounds you right now and gaining clarity on whether this energy matches who you are and the things that you stand for.
Your social circle and the people around you are shifting as the power dynamics do, and you are finding your place and purpose amidst this change. It’s about identifying who and what makes you feel good and aligning things in your life to bring in more of that energy. Don’t be discouraged right now; find your people and ask for support.
PISCES
Your career and ambitions are the focus during this Mercury retrograde, Pisces. You have a lot to address here, and you are gathering your skills and talents and reminding yourself that you are worthy of your dreams. Miscommunications and setbacks are more likely within your professional world, but they are here to ask you if what you are striving for, is really what you need right now.
You are thinking a lot about how you show up in the world, what you want to be known for, and what successes you still want to obtain. This isn’t the time to let anyone’s idea or vision of you define who you are; rather, define that for yourself. Show up as you want to be seen, and don’t count yourself out right now, Pisces.
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