With articles out in cyberspace like "Jada And Willow Smith Both Reveal They've Considered Getting A BBL In The Past" and "The 'BBL effect': Plastic surgeons say they're seeing record numbers of patients as people look to lift their bodies — and their booties — out of the pandemic", there's no way around the fact that the desire for a bigger, fuller and/or rounder butt, for a lot of women, isn't going away any time soon.
Still, with all of the risks that can come with getting a BBL (bruising, blood clots, infection, heart issues, and even death in some cases), I thought it was important to remind our audience of something that more and more people seem to be losing sight off — there are natural ways to enhance your derriere too. Ones that are much healthier, far less expensive, and can benefit your health and well-being in other ways as well.
One way to get your butt to where you want it is through exercise. Glutes, squats, and lunges are classically effective when it comes to building muscle mass on your backside. And you know what? Something that can make this easier to do is eating certain foods that will literally "feed your muscles."
12 Foods To Eat for a Bigger Butt
If you want a bigger butt, here are 12 foods that can help to make that happen while doing your body a lot of good from head to toe in the process. So, where's your grocery list at, sis? Let's do this.
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1. Foods To Eat for a Bigger Butt: Avocados
Avocados are one of my favorite fruits and ever since I've learned how easy it is to make guacamole — chile, you can't tell me a damn thing! As far as health benefits go, they contain more potassium than bananas; are full of fatty acids; are considered to be an aphrodisiac thanks to all of the vitamin E (which helps to support sex hormones) that are in them; can help your body to better absorb nutrients and are packed with antioxidants — ones that especially are great for maintaining your vision.
As far as your backside goes, avocados are bomb because they've got healthy fats that can help to reduce bodily inflammation while reducing the stress and strain that your body can sometimes go through when you're in the process of trying to build muscle, including your glutes.
2. Nuts
If you're looking for a way to get some fat and protein into your system without consuming any meat, eating nuts is certainly one way to do it. Since nuts are also full of fiber, they can be a good way to stay regular as well. Aside from that, nuts are good for you because they're a solid source of copper, manganese, and selenium, and they can assist with lowering your cholesterol levels. Also, some medical experts believe that they support heart health too.
Butt-wise, nuts are great because all of the fat and protein in them can help you to develop strong and solid muscles while still causing your butt to have some "movement" (a lot of BBLs do not).
3. Foods To Eat for a Bigger Butt: Oatmeal
If nothing makes you happier than having a hot heaping bowl of oatmeal for breakfast, you're actually doing your body a lot of good because this is a food that's considered to be incredibly nutritious. Oatmeal is off-the-charts when it comes to how much manganese it contains (around 190 percent of the recommended dietary intake), plus it's got fiber, protein, phosphorus, copper, zinc, iron, vitamins B1 and B5 and so much more.
Some other things worth noting are the antioxidants in oatmeal can help to reduce inflammation and lower your blood pressure, there are properties in oatmeal that can also balance out your blood sugar levels and some studies even say that feeding a baby oatmeal can reduce their chances of getting asthma up the road. If you want a fuller butt, oatmeal is the lick because it's also got micronutrients in it. The cool thing about that is those are great when it comes to increasing muscle mass over time.
4. Brown Rice
Looking for a way to up your dietary fiber intake? Brown rice has your back (pun intended). Good thing too because the combination of the fiber and magnesium that's in brown rice can help to lower your risk of having a heart attack or stroke up the road. It's also a great source of protein and several forms of vitamin B. Plus, it's gluten-free if that's the kind of diet that you're after. If you're looking for a kind of food that is easy to digest, contains amino acids like glutamine, glycerin, and GABA to help manage depression-related symptoms and you want some extra energy as you're exercising so that you can get your butt just where you want it to be, brown rice has you — all the way around.
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5. Foods To Eat for a Bigger Butt: Bananas
You might've heard that if you've got a muscle cramp, you should probably snack on a banana. That's because it's a good source of potassium and potassium is what helps to slow the contractions that cause the cramping down. Bananas are also a beneficial fruit because they have vitamins B6 and C in them, along with copper, manganese, fiber, and protein. If you want to balance out your blood sugar levels, have a banana.
If you want to improve your digestive health, have a banana. If you want to get more antioxidants into your system, have a banana. And, if you want to snack on something sweet that can help you to lose weight, feel fuller longer, and also give you the energy to get your butt into shape — you already know…have a banana.
6. Eggs
I'm kinda thinking that it comes as no surprise to any of you that eggs are an amazing source of protein. That's not all, though. They're also a good source of selenium and various forms of vitamin B. Also, the yellow yolk of the egg is loaded with choline which is awesome for the growth of your baby if you happen to be pregnant. Choline is also helpful when it comes to providing your cells with the fat that they need in order to fully develop.
Not only that but the antioxidants lutein and zeaxanthin are awesome for your vision and word on the street is they can even do their part to decrease your chances of having a stroke. And since eggs are one of the greatest sources of protein per serving there is, I'm sure you get why they're another food that can feed your glutes, so that your butt can appear bigger and fuller (with exercise, of course). Where's your omelet at?
7. Foods To Eat for a Bigger Butt: Mushrooms
Something that I really like about mushrooms is they have a kind of "meaty texture" that makes them a good substitute if you're trying to eat more vegetarian or vegan meals (check out "10 Foods That Make Eating Less Meat...Easier"). Aside from that, mushrooms are cool because, nutrient-wise, they've got vitamin D, antioxidants, zinc, potassium, and loads of other vitamins and minerals in them. All of these nutrients work together to boost your immunity, maintain heart health, and support gut health.
Anyway, mushrooms can help you get your butt to where you want it to be because they also are high in protein and again, protein is good for muscle development. And since mushrooms are a vegetable, consuming them is how you can build muscle mass without relying on animal products to do it.
8. Beef
Sometimes, nothing brings me more joy than a juicy hamburger or a T-bone steak. Lawd, have mercy! And so long as you consume beef in moderation, there are some solid health benefits that come with eating it. First, meat is definitely a strong source of protein. Also, it's got vitamin B12, zinc, selenium, iron, and phosphorus in it. Something else that's cool about beef is it has the antioxidant glutathione in it. That's dope because it helps to strengthen your immunity, fight aging signs, and even increase longevity.
When it comes to beef getting your butt to where you want it to be — whew. First, the organic compound creatine that's in it helps to give your body the energy that it needs in order to build muscle mass as the protein in beef helps to increase muscle mass. In fact, beef contains all of the amino acids that are required for a food to be categorized as being a "complete protein". So, if you like nothing more than steak fajitas on the weekend, dig in, sis! Your taste buds will thank you. Your backside will too.
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9. Foods To Eat for a Bigger Butt: Quinoa
Initially, I wasn't a fan of quinoa at all. Then, I learned that it's all about how it's prepared. Now, I dig it. As far as health benefits go, it's a protein-filled and gluten-free seed that is classified as being a whole grain. Quinoa is high in amino acids, fiber, iron, B-vitamins, calcium, iron, manganese, magnesium, zinc, copper and a host of other nutrients. A really great thing about quinoa is it can help you to manage your blood sugar levels.
Not only that but it's loaded with antioxidants, can assist with you shedding a few pounds (because it is able to boost your metabolism levels) and it contains anti-inflammatory properties too. Butt-wise, because it has so much protein in it (around eight grams a cup), it's a great building block for muscle mass and tone.
10. Greek Yogurt
Nothing will give you a protein, probiotic, vitamin B12, and calcium fix quite like a serving of Greek yogurt will. That said, if you've always wondered what the difference is between Greek yogurt and regular yogurt, Greek yogurt contains less sugar and more protein while regular yogurt has fewer calories and more calcium. Anyway, Greek yogurt can give you a metabolism boost, help to keep your bones strong and it's also great for your butt because it can also help to build muscle mass (thanks to its protein) while keeping your gut in good shape (thanks to its probiotics). This ultimately means a nice ass and a slim waistline — naturally so.
11. Foods To Eat for a Bigger Butt: Salmon
I can honestly eat a homemade salmon Caesar salad, at least a couple of times a week. Salmon is great for you, one because of all of the fatty acids (omega 3s) that are in it. Fatty acids are good because they are a "healthy fat" that helps to fight inflammation, lower your risk of heart disease, lower your blood pressure, keep your skin and hair moisturized from the inside out and so much more. Besides that, salmon also contains protein, B vitamins, potassium, selenium, and the antioxidant astaxanthin which reduces oxidative stress.
And if you want to have a little jiggle to your booty, salmon can actually help to make that happen. The reason why is because something that a lot of people with a big butt and thick thighs have in common is they are high in omega-3s. Now this is no reason to go overboard or anything. Still, it is good food for thought, next time you're baking some salmon for dinner.
12. Lentils
Even though a lot of people consider lentils to be beans, they are also seeds— seeds that are a huge source of protein, fiber, folate, iron, phosphorus, manganese, and potassium. The polyphenols in lentils have anti-inflammatory properties, its tannins help your system to absorb iron so that your blood can remain healthy and the phytic acid in these types of seeds has powerful antioxidant and anticancer properties in them.
And all of this helps your body to increase more muscle mass which ultimately can include a bigger butt. So, the next time you're in the mood for some lentil soup, now you've got another reason to indulge. You're just a few bowls away from building a bigger butt. And oh, what a delicious way to do it, right?
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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And that is why I decided to put emphasis on the word “late” for today’s topic. Because if you and someone break up and they approach you, well after the fact, with an “I’m sorry,” if you struggle with whether or not to accept it due to the timing of it all, you should definitely ponder that a bit.
And as you’re doing so, it might help to read a bit deeper into what an apology should look and live like, even from an ex, regardless of when it shows up.
Your “late.” Or his right on time.
Three Things That a True Apology Consists Of
GiphyIt’s kind of wild that when you work as a therapist/counselor/coach, a lot of people never really see you as human — and this can include your close relationships. What I mean by that is, it’s almost like they expect you to be free on-call therapy to the point where they “forget” to actually check on you sometimes.
Such is the case with one of my longest-running friendships. Even during the weeks between losing my mother and losing $4K (SMDH), she would just keep calling me to vent about her marriage. I finally got so fed up that I brought it to her attention that for the past couple of years, that is exactly what our friendship has been like: her venting, me listening without her being very invested in my life at all. In response, she texted me an apology — and boy, was it beautiful.
I’m not going to share the details of what she said; however, I am going to tell you three things that it consisted of because it’s what I believe ALL APOLOGIES should entail.
1. She took full ownership for what she believed that she did. I framed this point in this way because, something that everyone needs to forever keep in mind is the fact that two people start and, to a large extent, end relationships — and what I mean by that is, it’s never like one person was perfect and the other was the villain. That said, though, when someone is making an apology to another individual, they are going to own their part and articulate what that part is. It’s not gonna be a simple “My bad.”
It’s going to be “I am really sorry that I wasn’t there for you when you needed me” or “I apologize for taking you for granted” — something that sounds like they get the “offense” that transpired. By doing this, they recognize their missteps — and that is what puts people on the road to not repeating them.
2. She did not deflect or gaslight me. You know what one of the worst apologies are: It’s when someone says they are sorry and then follows it up with, “But you do it too” or “If you hadn’t done ‘A’, I wouldn’t have done ‘B.'” Justifying your actions is a surefire way to make someone believe that you don’t really think that you did something wrong (or that bad) in the first place. And really, how can they trust you (again) if that is how you feel? Oh, and don’t get me on gaslighting.
Ugh, ain’t nothing like someone claiming that they want to set things right with you, only to act like they don’t really get where you are coming from with the issues y’all were having in the first place. A good gaslight line in an apology: “If that is what you think happened, I apologize.” Yeah, you can keep that, jack. Never accept this kind of apology — because it isn’t one.
3. She addressed why she needed to make the apology in the first place. Wanna know one of the main reasons why I don’t trust people who don’t believe in having regrets (check out “Why Regret Might Not Always Be A Bad Thing”)? Did you know that apology means “a written or spoken expression of one's regret, remorse, or sorrow for having insulted, failed, injured, or wronged another.” How, as a human, do you think that you are out here not making any mistakes or poor decisions that you sometimes need to APOLOGIZE for? That is just…insane.
And one of the reasons why apologies are important is because if you feel bad about “failing” someone, it’s usually because you value them enough to want to keep them around. And yes, in my friend’s apology, she also explained why she didn’t want me to feel hurt in the way that she had hurt my feelings and what she would do to prevent that from happening in the first place.
So y’all, with all of this out of the way, before getting deeper into this topic? If an ex is hitting you up to apologize to you for something, please make sure that he hits all three marks of a true apology.
Now let’s keep going.
A Genuine Apology Should Also Include an Amends
GiphyA few years ago, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, “Heads Up: It's NOT An Apology If An Amends Isn't Made.” You know how I mentioned a second ago that a solid apology has no gaslighting in it? Hmph. Ain’t it wild how someone can do something that hurts or harms you and yet, they want you to just “hurry up and get over it”? GASLIGHTING.
Someone in my family, after unpacking years of abuse that I experienced at their hand, they had the nerve to say, “I’m not going to keep apologizing to you for this.” Hmm…Okay. So, how about you let me give you a consistent three months’ worth of the years of mistreatment that I experienced from you and then flippantly throw an apology your way. Let’s see how you feel about it. How much you believe that I am being genuine and sincere.
Listen — and please hear me GOOD on this: when someone really gets the magnitude of the pain or discomfort and inconvenience that they caused, they aren’t going to be fine with just saying that they are sorry for it; they are going to ask you what they can do to set things right.
It’s actually a part of the reason why I named the four children who I aborted (check out “Why I Named The Children I Aborted”) because I do have some real remorse for those decisions. Each of their names have an intentional meaning and I strive to leave out their purpose, through those names, on a daily basis. It’s a small way of making amends.
You know, back when my first book came out, my first love reached out, via email, to send me an apology. The apology hit most of the points that I mentioned earlier. Looking back, there wasn’t an offer to make an amends, though, and trust me, there was A LOT to make up for.
At the end of the day, amends means “reparation or compensation for a loss, damage, or injury of any kind; recompense” and while none of us should use bitterness, resentment or emotional stagnation as the “bar” for which we should expect amends to be made, if you’re trying to figure out just how sincere an ex is with their apology, if they want to do something to make things better, that’s a good sign.
There is a caveat, though.
Discern the Motives. Always.
GiphyEarlier this summer, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, “What's Your Motive For Sex? (It Reveals A Lot. Trust Me.)” Then, a few weeks ago, I wrote another article entitled, “As Cuffing Season Steadily Approaches, What The Heck Is 'Winter Coating'?” and boy, when I tell you that both of these complement this point really well? Goodness.
If you’ve never heard of the dating trend known as winter coating before, it’s basically when an ex creeps back up around cuffing season — and if you know what cuffing season is all about, you can absolutely connect the very probable motives behind those dots.
Now can there be exceptions? There are ALWAYS exceptions. Still, if you haven’t heard from your ex in years and here he comes a couple of weeks before Christmas, unless the two of you got together or broke up around the holidays, stay on potential “winter coating alert,” because it might not be about “building bridges” so much as getting into your bedroom.
That said, if it’s been a minute (six months or more) since you’ve heard from an ex and he suddenly reaches out to apologize, absolutely take out a moment to discern the motive — and shoot, feel fine with even asking what is causing him to make the move…now. If it’s in the spirit of the holidays and wanting to go into a new year with a clean slate, got it. If it’s because he’s been in therapy and realizes that he didn’t end certain things in his past very well, understood. If it’s because he didn’t like how the two of you broke up and he wants to try and make peace, that’s fair.
On the other hand, if you sense that he wants to rekindle something (check out “Nelly And Ashanti Are Giving It Another Shot? Here's What You Should Know About 'Ex Reconciliation'” and “I'm Thrilled That Ryan Destiny & Keith Powers Are Back Together. 5 Things Before Reuniting With Your Ex, Tho.” and “What Happens When 'The One Who Got Away'...Comes Back?”) — although that’s kind of another article for another time, do check that motive.
When someone apologizes, you should really be the only focus for them; not what they can get out of it on the back end. Listen, even if he hopes to get back with you (or back in bed with you), that shouldn’t be something that is discussed during the apology. If it is said or even implied, something about HIS MOTIVE is disingenuous. And if that is indeed the case, to a valid extent, so is he.
We All Should Give the Grace and Mercy That We Desire
GiphySooner than later, I’m going to write an article about forgiveness (beyond what I already have here). For now I’ll just say that if you are someone who thinks that other people don’t deserve forgiveness? That is either your pain or your ego talking and, either way, you can’t trust “their” judgment.
All of us mess up sometimes and if you are a karma (or you reap what you sow) believer, then you absolutely should want to extend others grace and mercy so that you can receive it in your own time of need (and you are absolutely delusional if you think a time won’t come, sooner than you probably think, that you will need it).
Besides, do you know all of the self-inflicted drama and trauma that comes from NOT forgiving others: higher blood pressure, insomnia, stress, anxiety, the higher risk of a heart attack, a weakened immunity, a greater risk for depression and anxiety — whatever he did, is it really worth all of this? Yeah, while a lot of people think that weaponizing forgiveness is empowering, really all it’s doing is putting themselves in harm’s way. Physically. Emotionally. SPIRITUALLY: “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." (Matthew 6:14-15 — NKJV)
By the way, no one is saying that forgiving that man means that you have to allow him back into your life. After all, access is a privilege. Yet if he comes to you and acknowledges that he feels sorry for some things, for the sake of your own sanity, why not let him express it? Don’t wanna meet up or talk on the phone? Understood. Email and/or text are there for the taking. Don’t want to go back and forth? Who said that it needs to be a discussion or a debate?
All I know is, the more time you spend on this planet, the more you want to put out the energy that you want to come back. Forgiving others tends to make life easier. Not forgiving? Oh, the way that it boomerangs, sometimes in ways you never saw coming, chile. Dodge that kind of experience (and typically hard life lesson) if you can.
Yes, Better Late than Never
GiphyToo late to apologize. Yeah, I don’t really know if there is such a thing (because forgiving and reconciling are not one in the same and some of y’all will catch that later). I’ll wrap this up with a story to prove my point.
Once upon a time, I knew a woman who was in a serious relationship and yet, whenever her boyfriend would bring up the possibility of marriage, she would stall him out. When I finally asked her what her deal was, she explained that she still harbored so much pain from the man before him that she didn’t fully trust that he was the real deal. About five months later, here came her ex with a thorough explanation for why he made some of the decisions that he did while they were together. Now that she had the full story, she was able to heal. She got married to her boyfriend that following year.
You see where I am going with this? Although your ex’s apology might be “late” as far as y’all’s relationship timeline, the timing may be BRILLIANT when it comes to true when and why you actually need it. Yeah, a Scripture that I adore is “Timing is the Father’s business” (Acts 1:7 — Message) and sometimes those apologies, in the grand scheme of things, are more on time than you could ever imagine; they’re when God deems you need them not when you want to have them.
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It is Oprah Winfrey who once said, “True forgiveness is when you can say, "Thank you for that experience” and sis, if you remove the bitterness and anger and look deeper, there were valuable lessons, even in and from the most challenging relationships. And that is worth appreciating through forgiveness and, if need be, full and complete release.
Bottom line, should you accept an ex’s late apology? Absolutely.
What better way to illuminate your present on a whole ‘nother level.
Just as forgiveness always does.
TRUST ME.
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