If there’s one thing that none of us can avoid (because we’re technically doing it right at this second), it’s aging. When it comes to longevity and having time to accomplish more things, that’s a blessing. The flip side to this coin is a lot of things that we took for granted in our 20s, we have to become proactive about continuing in our 30s, 40s, and beyond — one of those things is taking really good care of our skin and hair so that we don’t end up looking older than we are…or should. Because as much as I know, we like to say that “Black doesn’t crack,” having more melanin doesn’t automatically or necessarily mean that things like our diet can’t still jack us up.
How is that? The reality is, with every year that blow candles out on our birthday cake, we lose nutrients. Along with that, an uptick in oxidative stress transpires. The combination of both of these things can lead to not only our organs aging but us aging on the outside, too.
One way to prevent this from happening is to spend less time in drive-thrus (processed foods actually age our cells). Another is to take a vitamin supplement that is high in vitamins A, B12, and C, calcium, fiber, iron, and protein (since these are the nutrients that aging bodies reportedly need most). Still, another is to check out the following 12 foods — ones that are good for you on a myriad of levels and ones that can keep your skin and hair at a place where people will constantly be asking you if you’re 5-10 years younger than you actually are.
1. Papaya
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If you want to get a good source of vitamin C into your system on a daily basis, without taking a supplement, snack on some papaya; it’s got well over 100 percent of that nutrient in it, along with a solid amount of antioxidants, fiber, vitamin C, folate and potassium. That’s probably why it’s been linked to being highly beneficial as it relates to strengthening your heart, improving digestion, and fighting bodily inflammation. Also, if you’re looking for a fruit that can help to keep prostate cancer at bay for your bae, this fruit will help to take care of that as well as give both of you an immunity boost at the same time.
As far as your skin goes, between the vitamin C and organic compound lycopene that papaya contains, your skin will experience fewer free radicals that can lead to fine lines and wrinkles. Papaya also has properties that can help to deeply moisturize your skin and clear up the kind of hyperpigmentation that is oftentimes associated with getting older.
2. Blueberries
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If being regular is a struggle for you, blueberries are a sweet way to change that. The reason why is it contains over three grams of fiber per serving. It’s also the type of berry that has vitamin C, K, and manganese in it. Your body will also adore this fruit because it’s able to do everything from regulate your blood sugar levels and keep your eyesight in good shape to protect your muscles from experiencing extensive damage while you work out and keep your blood pressure right where it needs to be. Something else that’s awesome about blueberries is they’re good for maintaining your memory and cognitive function (two things we all care about as we get older).
When it comes to fighting signs of aging on the external tip, blueberries are great at fighting against damaging UV rays and other skin pollutants. Not only that, but blueberries improve blood circulation to your skin. They can give the collagen levels in your system a much-needed boost, and some studies say that they help with naturally treating eczema and psoriasis, too.
3. Turmeric
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Something that I’ve personally been getting more and more into is golden milk (check out “Why You Really Should Be Drinking Golden Milk”). Why is that relevant to this article? Because one of the main ingredients in it is turmeric. Turmeric is a spice that, when it contains the compound known as curcumin, can help to fight inflammation, soothe symptoms that are related to arthritis, reduce exercise-induced muscle discomfort, decrease anxiety and depression, speed up the healing process of respiratory infections, and even help to treat certain types of allergies.
Since dark circles underneath the eyes can oftentimes come with getting older, turmeric is effective in that department because it contains properties that can naturally help to brighten up your skin.
4. Black Rice
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Some backstory on black rice: it’s rice that used to only be consumed by wealthy folks; for everyone else, it was “forbidden.” Chile, that reason alone should make you want to run out and get some as soon as possible (elitist be damned)! Anyway, black rice (which is also known as purple rice) gets its color from anthocyanin; it’s a pigment that has a ton of antioxidants in it — so, we can start there when it comes to why black rice is so good for you.
As far as the antioxidants are concerned, they are the kind that are anti-inflammatory, antioxidant, and anticancer, all of which are highly beneficial. People who are looking to lose weight in a gluten-free way will appreciate this kind of rice. It’s also another food that’s good for maintaining your vision.
Black rice also contains iron, and iron not only helps to keep your skin healthy, but it also can help to prevent hair loss as you get older, those are two solid reasons why it made this particular anti-aging list.
5. Tomatoes
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Tomatoes are a fruit that has a good amount of fiber, folate, calcium, magnesium, vitamin C, and plant compounds in them. If you want to keep your heart in good shape and cancer at bay while also fighting the early signs of dementia, adding them to your diet is a really smart move.
Something else that tomatoes have in them is what’s known as chlorogenic acid. Since it helps your body to produce collagen and collagen can definitely help to slow down the appearance of aging, if you want your hair, skin, and nails to look bright and youthful, cutting some tomatoes into your salad tonight is, without question, a very smart decision.
6. Honey
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You know what one of my favorite facts about honey is? It’s one of the very few foods that never goes bad. Not ever. The reason why is because it's hygroscopic which means it has barely any moisture or bacteria in it, so it’s incapable of expiring. Pretty cool, right? And what a sweet food it is, literally; one that is high in antioxidants and has potent anti-inflammatory, antibacterial, and antidiabetic properties. One that, believe it or not, helps with stabilizing your blood sugar levels. One that helps to suppress coughing (especially in young children). One that supports your gut, serves as an all-natural antidepressant and can even help you to shed a few pounds. One that can also improve your quality of sleep.
Dermatologists sing the praises of honey because it not only is a great spot treatment for breakouts and a proven way to treat skin conditions like psoriasis, but also deeply moisturizes and removes dead skin cells — it’s a way to keep your skin looking young and radiant without applying chemicals that come with a lot of popular commercial brands.
(A few years back, I actually wrote several beauty benefits that come with manuka honey. Check out “Manuka Honey Is The Ultimate Beauty Find” when you’ve got a sec.)
7. Almonds
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Next to cashews, almonds are probably my favorite kind of nut. If you’re a vegetarian or vegan, you can get a ton of protein from these bad boys. They’re a good source of vitamin E as well. A lot of people who work out snack on almonds because of their ability to build muscle fibers. Almonds are also dope because they can protect against cell damage, raise your good cholesterol levels, lower your blood pressure, and get some prebiotics into your system.
As I was doing some reading and research on how almonds are helpful as it specifically relates to slowing down the appearance of aging, an organization called the Almond Board of California shared that new research has revealed that almonds have the ability to smooth out the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles while also improving your skin tone over time. The more you know, the more you freakin’ know.
8. Extra Virgin Olive Oil
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At the end of the day, extra virgin olive oil is the kind of olive oil that is the least processed; this means that you can get the most nutrients out of it. And what that means is, if you’re someone who likes to cook with it, you can feel confident about the fact that you are being proactive about preventing heart disease and strokes, reducing your type 2 diabetes risk, and treating rheumatoid arthritis. Extra virgin olive oil also has a lot of antibacterial properties in it too.
Since skin experts credit this type of oil with being a great hydrator, fighting against any environmental damage, and also slowing down premature aging (due to the vitamins A, D, K, and E that it has), the more extra virgin olive oil that you consume, the better.
9. Fatty Fish
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If there’s one food that I think I could eat, almost on a daily basis, it’s salmon. It’s quick to fix. It’s pretty filling. And I like the taste. And I definitely feel good about eating it since I know that salmon is a huge source of potassium while also containing a good amount of protein, omega-3 fatty acids, selenium, antioxidants, vitamin D (which a lot of us could stand to get more into our bodies) and even some vitamin B12. Other fatty fish like swordfish, tuna, trout, anchovies, and Atlantic mackerel also have similar nutrients in them that can assist with cognitive development, helping to heal asthma in young children, protecting your memory abilities, and reducing the chances of being diagnosed with breast cancer.
As far as aging goes, many fatty fish have a compound in them called astaxanthin. Science says that it aids in preventing wrinkles, adding elasticity to your skin, and preventing cell damage to your skin — all things that can make you look older faster.
10. Basil
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Basil is a member of the mint family and, as someone who really likes to cook, I enjoy it because it makes for some hellified pesto. Aside from that, it helps to reduce oxidative stress, regulate your blood sugar, prevent respiratory and urinary infections, reduce the effects of memory loss, increase mental alertness, keep your arteries open — and a host of other things. Yeah, basil really is that one. In fact, if you’re pregnant and battling morning sickness, basil also has a reputation for treating nausea and vomiting. Plus, it can boost your immunity, protect your liver, and reduce your stress levels.
If one of the things that you are trying to avoid about aging or you’re currently experiencing is premature graying, basil is also an all-natural treatment for that. Applied topically, some say that it can help to rejuvenate hair follicles to prevent thinning hair as well.
11. White Tea
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If you’ve ever wondered where white tea gets its name from, apparently, the Camellia sinensis plant that it comes from has small white hairs on it (hmm…). Anyway, it’s good for you because it has a lot of plant-based antioxidants in it; ones that can fight off free radicals, help you to lose weight, aid in preventing heart disease and cancer, and even give pushback to insulin resistance. Some other cool things about this kind of tea are it can help to strengthen your bones (which can become more fragile after menopause) and improve your cognitive function.
On the aging tip, teeth age (check out “Teeth Do Age. This Is What You Can Do About It.”) and, as I’ve already mentioned, hair has the potential to become thinner (which could be due to hormonal shifts and/or genetics). The properties of white tea can help to prevent both of these things from causing you to look older due to both of these factors.
12. Dark Chocolate
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How wonderful is dark chocolate? Check out “12 Ways Dark Chocolate Can Benefit Your Body From Head To Toe” and count the ways. As I wind this up, I’ll just add to the article by saying that the more your skin is protected from sun damage, the more that it has more blood flowing to it, and the less that it experiences stress, the better off it will be. Just make sure that the chocolate is not your favorite candy bar. Word on the street is, that in order to get all of what dark chocolate has to offer, you might want the kind of bar that is made up of no less than 75 percent cacao.
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And now that you know how to slow down the aging cycle, which foods are you gonna treat yourself to when you get off work? All of these? All delicious. All nutritious. All anti-aging. Enjoy, sis. Enjoy!
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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1. Create a Budget. Stick to It.
GiphyBudgets, boy. I recently read that one of the reasons why they don’t work for a lot of people is because many folks don’t have a clue about how much money they spend on a monthly basis to begin with. SMDH. That said, at the end of the day, it’s important to remember that a budget is simply setting boundaries/limits on your spending — and being intentional about moving in this fashion is always a wise move; especially when it comes to this time of the year…especially being that it’s typical for half of all Americans to take on some type of holiday season debt with 17 percent needing six (or more) months to pay it off.
Know what can prevent this kind of financial chaos? A SPENDING BUDGET. Tips for how to create one of your own this year can be found here.
2. Never Shop When You’re Stressed or Pressed
GiphyYou know how they say that it’s not a good idea to go grocery shopping when you’re hungry? Although the holiday season can be a stressful time, avoid shopping for gifts (or décor or food for recipes) when you are feeling stressed out or pressed for time. More times than not, that cultivates anxiety which could cause you to either purchase things that you don’t really want or to spend money that you don’t really have (P.S. If you’re relying on credit cards, that qualifies as money that you don’t really have. Just sayin’).
3. Don’t Keep Up with the Joneses
GiphyKnow something else that can stress you out: trying to keep up with the Joneses. And y’all, now that we have social media, the reality is that envy is at an all-time high. That’s because it can be really easy to watch holiday engagements, holiday trips and folks bragging about the things that they’ve received in times past, only for you to find yourself wishing that you were them — or putting pressure on yourself and those in your world to keep up.
Listen, it is King Solomon who once said, “So are the ways of everyone who is greedy for gain; It takes away the life of its owners” (Proverbs 1:19 — NKJV) and “A sound heart is life to the body, but envy is rottenness to the bones” (Proverbs 14:30 — NKJV) and he’s considered to be the wisest man who ever lived (during his time — I Kings 4:30). Yeah, both of these verses are a spiritual reminder that whatever you are planning to do or give, do it out of the goodness of your heart — not so that you can low-key “outdo” the next guy.
4. No Need to “Tit-for-Tat”
GiphyThis one might be a bit controversial yet I’m totally okay with that. I don’t care what the occasion is, no one is OWED a present. A gift is a voluntary token of one’s appreciation or affection. That said, if you decide to give someone a present this year, don’t automatically expect something in return. If you get something, cool. If not, if you were giving for the right reasons, it really shouldn’t matter (RIGHT?). On the flip side, if someone decides to get you something and you don’t have something to offer in return, also cool.
Other than going to someone’s home for a holiday dinner or party, for anyone to feel like they should have something in hand because someone else does…that’s not giving, that’s competing — and that absolutely should not be the spirit that you are in (or around) during this time of year.
Again, a gift is not an obligatory thing. If you’ve always thought otherwise, it’s time to do some serious reprogramming.
5. Avoid the Pressure to Buy for Lots of Adults
GiphyLast month, Newsweek published an article that said it’s wise to not spend a ton of money purchasing gifts for adults. A financial expert in the piece said that it’s best to buy for kids because, more times than not, you’re going to get adults something that they already have a lot of, they don’t really need or they’re not going to use (beyond maybe regifting) anyway.
If you’re not feeling that insight, my take would be to exchange names and set a price cap for the grown folks. I say that because, I don’t think that people ever outgrow wanting something over Christmas. It’s just that the over-the-top energy should be reserved for the kiddies — and even then, the “4-gift rule” (want, need, read, experience) is probably your best bet for them…financially and otherwise.
6. Go for Thoughtful over Expensive
GiphyIt’s kind of wild how much close-to-torture folks send themselves through to purchase gifts that, a good 6-8 months now, most folks aren’t even going to remember. That’s why it’s also a good idea to purpose in your mind to get something thoughtful over expensive.
Honestly, that’s a big part of the reason why Etsy continues to be a go-to for gifts (for every occasion) for me. It’s because you can oftentimes get things customized/personalized which ends up meaning so much more to people than something that you bought at a generic department store that might have a high price tag yet still lacks in sentimentality and deep meaning.
7. Use Coupons and Promo Codes
GiphyCoupons (and promo codes) are a slippery slope in the sense that…they remind me of when I used to go overboard while thrift store shopping. I say that because, just because I might find several bomb dresses for under $20, what am I going to do with 50 of ‘em (over time)? It’s just as much of a waste of money as buying couture if neither option gets much use.
And that’s kind of the thing about coupons and promo codes. Some people end up overspending because they rationalize that so long as there are discounts attached, it’s all good. At the same time, this doesn’t mean that you should forego coupons and promo codes altogether. The key is to put together your shopping list (and budget) and then use discounts specifically for those items. If you do this, you could save well over $1,000 annually (at least, depending on what you decide to buy).
8. Avoid Add-Ons
GiphyYeah. Dodge add-on expenses. Add-ons like what? The first thing that comes to my mind is a warranty. What’s the chance that someone is actually going to need that? Another example is paying for things to be “professionally” gift wrapped. Chile, throw that stuff in a gift bag with some tissue paper and go on about your day. All good.
9. Rethink Gift Cards
GiphyIf there is any time of the year when there is a noticeable hike in gift card purchases, now would be it. And although they are a convenient approach to gift giving, at the same time, many come with hidden fees, the full amount oftentimes goes unused (which ends up being a waste of money) and they do come with expiration dates that are oftentimes forgotten.
So, if you’re someone who likes to wait until the last minute to do your holiday shopping, resist the urge to impulsively pick up a handful of gift cards. Unless it’s to a place that you know someone is going to use within the next few months, they could end up in somebody’s kitchen drawer for the next couple of years. And what a waste that would be.
10. They’ll Get It When They Do. And That’s Okay.
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GiphyOne more. Although it is super thoughtful and proactive to get people their gifts in time for whatever occasion you purchased them for, if trying to reach that goal is going to require paying for rush shipping that is damn near as high as the price of gift or spending a lot of gas money that you don’t have at the moment to drive miles and miles away — take the pressure off to spend a ton of cash just to make sure that something arrives at December 25. Listen, through doing business with Etsy, I have learned that through this administration, there are all sorts of tariff issues going on and the USPS is slower than ever too, so paying more may not guarantee much.
The hack? Send a message that something special is coming…soon enough. The thought really is what counts (more times than not); plus, it builds anticipation of something good coming, even if it’s after all of the Christmas Day hoopla. And no one (with sense) is going to have a problem with that.
Now don’t you feel better? Happy Holiday Shopping, sis.
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