I don't know one woman who doesn't want to have flawless skin and gorgeous hair. Both goals are a huge part of the reason why the beauty industry is a billion-plus dollar business. Unfortunately, what a lot of companies won't tell you (again, because they're a business) is it really doesn't matter how much stuff you put on your body or in your hair, if your internal system is all out of wack. That said, there are certain foods that can almost assure you that they can help to make that happen.
Before getting into what 10 of them are, it's important to say that I'm not stating that you should never have any of these ever again. I'm just saying that if you're getting more pimples on your face than you can handle or your hair isn't flourishing as much as you thought your latest shampoo and conditioner would get it to, it could be because you need to switch up your diet a bit. Because there are certain things in some of our favorite and/or commonly consumed foods that science has proven can literally jack our skin and hair all the way up.
1. Dairy
At some point, I really should write an article that's entirely devoted to why dairy isn't the best thing for our health, along with the alternatives that make switching well worth your while. For now, I'll just suggest that you read about why it's not good for your vagina here and then also file it as something that your skin and hair aren't super fond of either. For one thing, the chemicals, hormones and antibiotics that are in a lot of dairy products can throw your own hormones off balance and trigger unwanted breakouts. Know what else is a trip? The acidic levels in dairy can damage your hair follicles over time. If your follicles ain't right, your hair can't grow.
2. Fast Food
Fast food might taste good and seem convenient (because you don't have to prepare it and it's relatively cheap). Still, it's not the best thing for your overall health and well-being (check out "Why You Should Consider Leaving Fast Food Alone"). It also sucks at providing good results for your skin and hair. Honestly, I'm thinking that this might be a no-brainer due to all of the sugar and high fats that most fast food contains. Both of those things can lead to acne issues. Also, since fast food oftentimes contains chemicals that can put your hormones on quite a roller coaster ride, that along with how much it lacks in the daily nutrition that your body needs, means that it can affect your hair's growth cycle too. Not in a good way either.
3. Non-Organic Fruits and Veggies
Fresh fruits and veggies are your skin and hair's best friends. No doubt about it. The reason why you should go with the organic ones is because a lot of what you see in the produce section of your favorite grocery store contain pesticides. Pesticides aren't good on a lot of levels yet as it relates to your skin, it can irritate it and also increase signs of aging. The way that pesticides can affect your hair is, because they can weaken your immune system over time, that can ultimately result in hair loss. If you're curious about what fruits and vegetables happen to contain the most pesticides, the Environmental Working Group can help you out if you click here.
4. Swordfish
Swordfish is high in mercury. I'll get why that is problematic in a minute. However, did you know that high fructose corn syrup contains a fair amount of mercury too? Geeze. There are a ton of things that contain it (soda, fruit juice, candy, salad dressing, breakfast cereal, granola bars and energy drinks, for starters), so definitely don't just Kanye shrug this point off.
As if the fact that too much mercury can lead to neurological and behavioral issues (such as anxiety, mood swings, muscle weakness, vision impairment and depression) isn't disturbing enough, it can also stunt your hair's growing phases and it can lighten your skin.
In fact, Allure did an entire article on it entitled, "Dangerous Levels of Mercury Found in Some Skin-Care Products Bought on Amazon and eBay". Check it out when you get a chance.
5. Alcohol
Alcohol has its benefits (check out "Liquors That Are Gluten-Free (& Beneficial In Other Ways)"). Still, everything needs to be done in moderation, right? The reasons why alcohol made this list, though, are multi-faceted. For one thing, it can also trigger inflammation within your system. Also, when it comes to your skin, it can dilate your pores which can not only lead to blackheads and whiteheads but inflamed papules and cystic acne too (whew). And your hair? Well, since it's really no secret that alcohol dehydrates us (and most of us are dehydrated anyway), too much alcohol can leave your hair looking dry and feeling brittle. Who wants that?
6. High-Glycemic Foods
You're probably not gonna be the most thrilled about this one. Sorry for that. Basically, a high-glycemic food is one that quickly raises your blood sugar levels which I'm sure you can guess isn't a good thing. When you eat foods that fall into the low-glycemic category (like fruits, veggies and low-processed foods), it lowers your risk of diabetes and heart disease. It also decreases the risk of your skin getting its collagen levels messed up (due to high-glycemic foods' sugar levels). By "messed up", I mean that high-glycemic foods can lead to a lack of elasticity and youthfulness. As far as your hair goes, it doesn't need high-glycemic foods either because it can increase inflammation, damage your hair follicles and possibly lead to hair loss. And just what foods are considered to be high-glycemic? Basically, the fun stuff—white bread, white pasta, white rice, cake and cookies. By the way, here's what else makes the high-glycemic list that you may not have seen coming. Ready? Watermelon, pineapple and dried fruit. Chile. CHILE.
7. Too Much Vitamin A
When it comes to this particular point, let me first say that Vitamin A is good for your skin and hair on a few levels. Skin-wise, it moisturizes it, boosts your skin's immunity, helps to prevent breakouts and can even speed up the healing process if you've got acne or a cut or wound on your skin. As far as your hair goes, because Vitamin A helps cells to grow. Since, next to bone marrow, hair is the fastest growing tissue in your entire body, I'm pretty sure you can connect the dots there.
Here's the challenge, though. While you've got to basically try and overdo it when it comes to Vitamin A consumption, it is indeed possible. Health-wise, too much of it can lead to headaches, nausea and even comas and death. And when it comes to your skin and hair specifically, too much of Vitamin A can do the opposite of what I just said.
So, how much Vitamin A do you need? Many medical professionals say somewhere around 700 micrograms for us and 900 for men. For us, that breaks down to about 2.5 ounces. This means that if eggs, oranges and dark leafy greens are your thing, enjoy. Just remember that there is such a thing as too much of a good thing.
8. Processed Meat
If you've ever wondered what processed meat actually is, it's meat that has been preserved by the process of curing, salting, smoking, drying or canning. Off top, you know this means that it's got quite a bit of preservatives in it, right? Anyway, meats that would fall into this category include hot dogs, bacon, sausage, salami and smoked meats. Since processed meats contain a lot of sodium, that can lead to puffiness, swelling of the skin and premature aging. Too much sodium can dry your hair out too.
9. Vegetable Oil
I'm someone who likes to cook a lot. Sometimes what I'm preparing requires oil. What I've stayed away from, for years at this point, is vegetable oil. Long story short, the unsaturated fats in vegetable oil, when they are warmed up, they oxidize (lose freshness). As a direct result, the fats not only make your body tissues more vulnerable to harm, the fats can also trigger inflammation which can definitely lead to things like premature aging, wrinkles, sagging and breakouts. By the way, the same thing applies to soybean oil.
Something else to keep in mind about vegetable (and soybean) oil is, because it's an omega-6 kind of oil, that's one more reason why it's not the best thing for you. While on one hand, omega-6 fatty acids can help to relieve symptoms that are related to eczema, psoriasis and even dandruff, too much of it triggers inflammation to your skin and hair follicles too.
So, what kind of oils are better for you? How about trying avocado (it contains monounsaturated and polyunsaturated fatty acids); walnut (it has a good ratio of omega-6 to omega-3 fatty acids); extra virgin olive oil (it's an unrefined oil that's high in antioxidants); peanut (if it's refined, it's high in Vitamin E), and/or flaxseed (it's packed with omega-3s which can actually fight bodily inflammation) oil.
10. Fruit Juice. Kinda.
This says "kinda" because when fruit juice is 100 percent pure and consumed in moderation, it's not a bad thing. The reality, though, is a lot of us don't drink pure juice; we consume that kind that has a ton of sugar in it. How much? A cup, on average, contains a whopping 23 grams. And how much sugar does your body need a day? 24 grams. Exactly.
We've already touched on the fact that too much sugar in your system can wreak total havoc on your skin and hair. It's really easy to drink triple and quadruple the amount of sugar that you need on a daily basis under the guise of "it's just apple or orange juice". Yeah, be careful with that. Too much sugar is never good. Sometimes, the current state of our skin and hair is living proof of this very fact. That's why you should have no more than a glass or two and drink water the rest of the day. Every part of your body, inside and out, will be glad that you did. Your hair and skin included.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
Alaska Wasn’t On My Bucket List, But My Glacier Adventure Made Me A Believer
We all have bucket list destinations at the top of our lists. I visited one of those at the top of 2024: Japan! But what happens when you get an opportunity to go someplace that wasn’t on it? For me, that was Alaska. Now, I’d submitted my short film to the Anchorage International Film Festival, genuinely thinking it would be a long shot to get in with a short film about fibroids and Black women’s health.
However, to my surprise, I received an email that read: “It’s with great excitement that we announce your film, Super High: A Period Piece, has been selected for the 24th Anchorage International Film Festival.” After looking at the flight distance from Atlanta to Anchorage—a solid 10 hours one way— I’d decided this would be one I wouldn’t attend.
That was until there was a follow-up email that shared that the festival was sponsoring two excursions for filmmakers: A Northern Lights Tour and A Glacier Hike.
With that, I knew I had to make the trip to the 49th state! I flew Delta, which offered the shortest layovers—just 50 minutes each way. For a more comfortable flight on the longer legs that were about six hours between my layover city and Anchorage, I upgraded to first class with an in-app discount for $256 (the regular price of a first-class ticket runs about $2,100), which was so worth it for additional space and service for the six-hour trek.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
"So What’s Alaska Like? Did You Have To Wear a Snowsuit? What’s the Food Like?"
These are among the major questions I’ve gotten. Anchorage reminds me less of a bustling major city and more of a small town with an easygoing feel. When I arrived, they’d just had snow a few days before, so it was cold, and the streets were slick. So, I was so happy I’d invested in a pair of snow boots. For my first few days, the locals said it was warm. Warm to them being 20s at night and mid-30s during the day.
However, by the time I left, fresh snow was on the ground, and temps were well into the single digits—and it felt like it. Oh, the sun doesn’t rise until 10:30 a.m., and it sets around 4 p.m. That was among the most challenging things to experience because I felt like I never really woke up. So, between the lack of sun and the four-hour time difference, I felt tired the whole time I was there.
As for food, I didn’t explore a ton because I was so cold. But I found two gems! First was Whiskey and Ramen. If you enjoy ramen and exceptional service, this is a must-visit. I’d make a trip back just for their Wagyu ramen and their special take on an old fashion!
And, for coffee, I thoroughly enjoyed That Feeling Co. The coffee was great, and being surrounded by plants helped to perk up my spirits.
The Northern Lights
Iceland is one of the most popular places to see the Northern Lights, so I was very excited to know that Alaska also gets to see the Aurora Borealis light show. Typically, many people visit Fairbanks to see them, but there are tours offered in Anchorage too! When prepping for the late-night tour, we’d heard that the night we were heading out to see the lights, the cloud coverage likely meant we wouldn’t be able to see them. Bummer. I know. So, we could sit the tour out or still try. But, in my mind, I was like, why would I come all the way to Alaska not to try?
So, at about 9:30 p.m., we piled into vans and headed out to chase the Northern Lights. We traveled about an hour and a half from Anchorage, and when we stepped out of the van, it was cold and pitch black. And unfortunately, after a couple of hours in the cold, those clouds in the sky never parted for us. I know that when we see the posts of people who do get to see Mother Nature do her thing, we don’t have all of the context of the science, which is Aurora Borealis.
Sometimes, the weather just doesn’t do what we earthlings would like, which can lead to disappointment. However, our guide did give a recommendation. When you book a trip to see the lights, give yourself four to five days to see them. Don’t bank on one day because, at the end of the day, this is science.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Now, On to the Glacier!
Just six hours after returning from the Northern Lights tour, we were up for the glacier tour because they were back-to-back! I was exhausted and so excited. If someone had told me I’d hike on a glacier, I would have given them a mean side-eye. I mean, where on earth does one climb a glacier? Let me share a few destinations with you, just in case you want to plan an icy adventure: Switzerland, Norway, Iceland, Chile, Argentina, and Alaska.
Aside from the fact the Matanuska Glacier is 22,000 years old, it’s the largest glacier accessible by car in the United States—27 miles long and four miles wide, making it one of the easier ones to see IRL. As a girlie with generalized anxiety disorder, I get anxious about doing this kind of thing because I know that to see these world wonders is usually a mountainous trek.
This one was two hours long, one-way, up snow-capped, windy, mountainous terrain. However, my therapist always reminds me to push myself to do what scares me (as long as it’s for a reason, of course). I held my breath for the journey there and back! And white-knuckled it from time to time, too.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Once we got there, we were surrounded by fresh, fluffy snow, and it was COLD! In the negative cold. I was thankful, I’d over-prepared. If you even go on a glacier tour, I recommend a few things: Balaclava, heavy-weight gloves, cashmere socks, snow boots, and lots of layers.
Here’s what I wore. My first layer was Ann Taylor leggings and a Wolford Turtleneck. Then, I layered a cashmere turtleneck and cashmere joggers. A COACH down vest, which I’d recommend anyone own just for winter, in general, because it’s SO warm! For my feet, I wore Ann Taylor cashmere socks (I love these because they’re affordable and so warm) and Adidas Adifom Superstar Winter Boot and topped all of that with a Brandon Blackwood ankle-length parka. I know BB is known for his accessories, but the brand’s outwear is truly amazing and worth the investment. After two hours on the ice, I felt great!
If you’re open to adventure travel, I highly recommend putting a glacier tour on your list of things to do. There are a few reasons. First, standing on an ice age-old massive piece of glacier was my 2024 version of touching some grass. I was reminded that I’m a speck on this spinning rock and need to spend more time grounded in that fact as I move through the world. I looked to the sky and thought of how proud my ancestors would be, even though I know they’d be telling me to get my butt home and off a dog on a glacier!
Secondly, I gained an ever-large appreciation for Mother Nature as I learned that glaciers are the world's largest reservoir of freshwater, containing around 69% of the world's freshwater. Again, another fact that helped me gain perspective. Lastly, it’s just fun and stunningly beautiful!
After this, I’m looking forward to my next cold-weather adventure! Iceland and Argentina are at the top of the list!
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Featured image courtesy of Bianca Lambert