PEOPLE Magazine recently released its Sexiest Man Alive issue, and per usual, it’s whiter than white — like snow white, white. In its nearly 40-year history, there have only been four Black men (technically five if you count Dwayne Johnson) to snag the title:
- Denzel Washington (1996): First Black recipient, acclaimed actor in films like Malcolm X and Training Day, and an iconic choice for his charisma and talent.
- Idris Elba (2018): Popular selection for his rugged charm, known for roles in The Wire and blockbuster films, long-awaited recognition.
- John Legend (2019): Notable for his smooth voice and kind demeanor, Grammy-winning musician, relationship with Chrissy Teigen, and advocacy work added to his charm.
- Michael B. Jordan (2020): Recognized for roles in Black Pantherand Creed, selected as a tribute to his physical appeal and influence in Hollywood, gained influence through his production company and activism efforts.
While we absolutely love these men, it shouldn’t be so few and far between that Black men are honored for all they are. Black men are beautiful, complex, and worthy of recognition. From their melanin-rich skin that glows effortlessly to their distinct style and undeniable swag, there’s just something about the way they show up and own every space they enter.
Whether it's their moisturized beards, captivating smiles, or the way they carry themselves with confidence and grace, fine Black men are a testament to the power of Black excellence. They are artists, athletes, thinkers, and change-makers, and it's time we give them all the flowers they deserve—because there's truly nothing like a fine Black man.
In light of PEOPLE's list, we thought it was the perfect time to round up some fine Black men who aren’t celebrated enough. These men represent a new wave of talent across various creative industries, making significant contributions to music, film, and fashion while breaking new ground in their respective fields.
Zack Fox
Zack Fox
Anna Webber/Getty Images for Moose Knuckles
Comedian, Rapper, and Artist: Zack Fox is known for his sharp comedic timing and irreverent humor, both in his stand-up and online presence. He made waves with his viral song "Jesus Is the One (I Got Depression)," showcasing his unique blend of comedy and music.
This man has been going viral lately for his fineness. Some folks are deeming him “cerebrally fine.” So much so that Zack Fox's mother is confused by the thirsty comments women leave for him online, leading to awkward conversations between them like what “til the room stinks” means.
Skip Marley
Skip Marley
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Reggae Artist: The grandson of the legendary Bob Marley, Skip Marley, carries on the family legacy with modern reggae hits like "Slow Down" featuring H.E.R. His music blends traditional reggae vibes with contemporary R&B. Then again, fine is just in his DNA.
Jharrel Jerome
Jharrel Jerome
Gareth Cattermole/Getty Images for IMDb
Actor and Rapper: Jharrel Jerome won an Emmy for his powerful portrayal of Korey Wise in the Netflix miniseries When They See Us. He's also a rapper, releasing music under the stage name "J Rome." Between the charming smile to the luscious beard, he is just a gem.
Jabari Banks
Jabari Banks
Leon Bennett/Getty Images For NAACP
Actor: Jabari Banks stars as Will Smith in the reboot of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air,Bel-Air. His breakout role showcases his charisma and acting chops, quickly making him a rising star in Hollywood. Even the way he wears his hat to the side is quintessential fine-ass man energy.
Keith Powers
Keith Powers
Naom Galai/Getty Images for Netflix
Actor and Model: Known for his roles in Straight Outta Compton, The New Edition Story, and most recently, Netflix's Uglies, Keith Powers has become a familiar face in film and television, with a striking presence both on-screen and in the fashion world. I am personally in love with this man. When he took to TikTok to rap some BossMan Dlow lyrics, he had us all sat.
Kofi Siriboe
Kofi Siriboe
Paras Griffin/Getty Images for Essence
Actor and Model: Kofi Siriboe gained fame for his role as Ralph Angel Bordelon on the critically acclaimed TV series Queen Sugar. He's also known for his performance in the film Girls Trip. According to Ebony Magazine, “He was so spirited, cool, calm, and collected to the point where you felt safe and good in his presence. Few people have that type of effect on others, and it is an aura that goes well beyond his looks.”
Tyler James Williams
Tyler James Williams
JC Olivera/Getty ImagesActor and Singer: Starting as the lead in Everybody Hates Chris, Tyler James Williams has evolved into a versatile actor, currently starring in the Emmy-winning series Abbott Elementary. Nobody hates Chris anymore. His role as Mr. Eddie on Abbott really changed the game. Actually, it’s his broad shoulders and arms that changed the game.
Aminé
Aminé
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Rapper and Singer: Aminé broke onto the scene with his hit single "Caroline" in 2016. Known for his playful, vibrant style, he's become a staple in the alternative hip-hop scene with albums like "Good For You" and "Limbo." Known for his bold fashion statements, the artist draws inspiration from icons like Kanye West and André 3000. His vibrant color choices and eclectic cultural references reflect his unique personality, seamlessly intertwining with his music to create a captivating and immersive experience.
Aaron Pierre
Aaron Pierre
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Actor: If you haven't watched this commanding star's breakout role in Rebel Ridge by now, do yourself a favor and tap in. With that and his turn as Malcolm X in the National Geographic limited series Genius: MLK/X, Aaron Pierre has quickly established himself as a standout talent in the acting world, bringing depth and nuance to every role he takes on. The 30-year-old is known for his appearances in projects such as Old and is the voice of Mufasa in the upcoming live-action prequel, Mufasa: The Lion King. With a commanding presence and a gift for embodying dynamic characters, Pierre continues to leave an indelible mark on-screen.
Jaden Smith
Jaden Smith
Marc Piasecki/WireImage
Rapper, Actor, and Activist: The son of Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith, Jaden has carved out his own path in music with hits like "Icon" and fashion through his brand MSFTSrep. He’s also an advocate for environmental issues. He fearlessly experiments with vibrant hair colors like neon pink, red, and green and even goes as far as bleaching his eyebrows. Rather than sticking to a signature hairstyle, Smith keeps his look fresh by effortlessly shifting between twists, locs, and a clean-shaven head, keeping us wanting more.
Smino
Smino
Paras Griffin/Getty Images
Rapper and Singer: Hailing from St. Louis, Smino is known for his soulful, genre-blending sound. His albums blkswn and NOIR showcase his innovative approach to music, mixing elements of hip-hop, soul, and R&B. Smino's music explores the complexities of the Black experience in America, honoring his heritage while acknowledging the challenges faced by his community. His experimental vocal style adds a unique dimension to his music, and his commitment to self-love encourages listeners to embrace their true selves. All of this just makes him cool which makes him fine.
Tyler, The Creator
Tyler, the Creator
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Rapper, Producer, and Fashion Icon: A founding member of the Odd Future collective, Tyler has made a name for himself with genre-defying albums like "IGOR" and "Call Me If You Get Lost." He’s also the creator of the fashion brand Golf Wang. We can’t help but agree with The Talon, who reported, “Folks love to be around people with humorous personalities no matter what, so having your favorite artist have an entertaining character aside from music can make any fan love their favorite artist. They appear more lovable to fans. In this case, Tyler, The Creator is a prime example of a witty music artist, considering his interviews, videos, and even a whole TV show based on comedy sketches and playing pranks with other hilarious artists.”
Steve Lacy
Steve Lacy
Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images
Musician and Producer: Steve Lacy, a member of the Grammy-winning band The Internet, has also had a successful solo career. His album Gemini Rights features the viral hit "Bad Habit," showcasing his blend of R&B, funk, and rock. After reading his feature inGQ, it’s clear he is absolutely who he thinks he is. He's calm, wise, and experienced despite his young age. He works hard and has collaborated with many notable artists like Tyler, the Creator, Solange, J. Cole, Blood Orange, Mac Miller, Vampire Weekend, Isaiah Rashad, and more. “This type of conscientious poise — the ongoing awareness of who he is, and what the moment requires from him — is what many associate with Lacy. Lacy is cool.”
Kaytranada
Kaytranada
Olivia Wong/WireImage
DJ and Producer: Kaytranada is celebrated for his eclectic beats and genre-blending productions. His debut album "99.9%" won a Polaris Music Prize, and he’s known for collaborations with artists like H.E.R., Kali Uchis, and Anderson .Paak. The Kaytranada Effect extends beyond his magical production. His soulful and vibey music is a direct reflection of his fineness. There’s a certain mystique about Kaytranada. His low-key personality and reserved nature create an aura of coolness that draws people in
Vince Staples
Vince Staples
Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images
Rapper and Actor: Vince Staples is known for his sharp lyricism and social commentary. His albums like Summertime '06 and Big Fish Theory offer a gritty look at life in Long Beach, California. Is it me, or is the gap particularly sexy? Vince gives 90’s fine, and it’s just so good. Whether through his style, confidence, or overall look, he looks good in a way that feels classic and nostalgic.
Damson Idris
Damson Idris
Getty Images
Actor: British-Nigerian actor Damson Idris rose to fame as Franklin Saint in the FX series Snowfall, earning acclaim for his portrayal of the ambitious drug dealer navigating the 1980s crack epidemic. In 2022, The Hollywood Reporter named him TV’s Hottest Antihero, saying, “Idris’ stardom and cachet have risen as well. He has posed in his drawers for Calvin Klein and in January walked the runway for Prada in Milan. He texted with Idris Elba about the ultimate fate of Franklin Saint.
"He also has partied with Jamie Foxx at his house, received piano lessons from rapper Saweetie (as seen in a video he posted), and watched the 2022 Super Bowl en suite with Jay-Z, Beyoncé and Rihanna. Idris is also set to host the Essence Black Women in Hollywood Awards on March 24.”
Luka Sabbat
Luka Sabbat
Stephane Cardinale - Corbis/Corbis via Getty Images
Model and Actor: Luka Sabbat is a fashion icon and influencer known for his distinctive style. He starred in the TV series Grown-ishand is recognized for his collaborations with major fashion brands. He told L’OFFICIEL, “My style is in line with who I am. It represents my taste in fashion, music, lifestyle… It’s very personal to me, and says a lot about me. Style is deeply rooted in the community, whether it’s music, film, or subcultures like punk or goth. It’s a way of saying “This is who I am” before you even talk to someone.”
Rome Flynn
Rome Flynn
Rich Polk/Getty Images for Paramount+
Actor and Singer: Rome Flynn is known for his roles in How to Get Away with Murder and The Bold and the Beautiful. He’s also pursuing a music career, blending R&B and pop influences. Back in 2020, when xoNecole got to chat with the star, he opened up about dating, love, and his career. The tribe took to the comments to share, “I like his mentality and how well spoken he is. Makes him even more attractive” and “He's really down to earth and level headed. I'm sure he'll continue to grow in his craft and find love.” Another commenter said, “Rome is genuinely a beautiful human being, i love how honest he is and not many people are open and honest like this anymore... Truly refreshing.”
Trevor Jackson
Trevor Jackson
Paras Griffin/Getty Images
Actor, Singer, and Dancer: Trevor Jackson starred as Aaron Jackson in the TV series Grown-ish and has a thriving music career, with R&B albums like The Love Language. When it comes to his potential partner, he previously told us that he would love to be mentally and spiritually aligned. "I feel like we gotta hang out and I think when you really like someone, you can hang out with them and not have to do anything physical with them. I think that's someone I can really laugh with, lay down [with], and not be worried if they're gonna be crazy."
LaKeith Stanfield
LaKeith Stanfield
JC Olivera/Getty Images for Sony Pictures
Actor and Musician: LaKeith Stanfield has starred in critically acclaimed films like Sorry to Bother You and Judas and the Black Messiah. He’s also a rapper, releasing music under the moniker "Htiekal." In an interview with Black Girl Nerds, he said, “I love seeing us. I love seeing Black family dynamics, where the family is full and everyone’s present. Everyone’s there and they’re just a normal family. I love seeing those two pictures, because I think they’re just not there often. There can’t be enough of that. I’m interested in making people realize that there are plenty of Black families that exist together now, and they’re cool. Things like this just humanizes us.
Jeremy Pope
Jeremy Pope
Arturo Holmes/MG24/Getty Images for The Met Museum/Vogue
Actor and Singer: Jeremy Pope is a Tony-nominated Broadway star known for his roles in Choir Boy and Ain’t Too Proud. He also gained recognition for his work in Ryan Murphy’s Netflix series Hollywood. With his captivating presence and striking features, Jeremy has become a heartthrob who embodies our collective fantasies. His eyes, as deep and alluring as a midnight sky, draw you in like a gravitational pull.
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Mercury enters Aries from April 16 until May 10, and what you were trying to see through or understand better while Mercury was retrograde here last month, you are experiencing a breakthrough now. Mercury in Aries is insightful and courageous, and people are more likely to speak their minds and initiate conversation with this energy. Mars then enters Leo from April 18 until June 17, reminding us that sometimes it’s okay to be a little more selfish and to focus on what you need right now. Mars in Leo brings forth confidence, creativity, and passion, and brings an exciting energy to charge of your life and advocate for yourself.
Taurus Season officially begins on April 19, bringing some earth sign energy into the mix, grounding and nurturing what you are creating in your life right now. On April 27, we have a New Moon in Taurus, and this is an abundant and fruitful New Moon. This is one of the best New Moons of the year for you to set your intentions for your financial world and a time for seeing new opportunities for abundance. On the last day of the month, Venus moves into Aries until June 6th, and love requires a little more passion, independence, and excitement during this time.
Overall, April is a month of feeling things through, taking more intuitive risks, investing in yourself, and balancing your needs with the needs of your relationships.
Read for your sun and rising sign below to see what April has in store for you.
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleARIES
April is your month to shine, Aries. With the chaos of March now over, you are starting to see the progress of where life is and how everything has turned out even better than you were expecting. The month begins with the Sun in your 1st house of self, and you are feeling more confident, courageous, and in tune with yourself. With a Full Moon in your sister sign on April 12, relationships are also coming full circle for you now, and you are claiming your peace this month.
Mercury finally goes direct on April 7 and then enters your sign from April 16 to May 10, and this is going to clear up any miscommunications that you have been through. With Mercury now in your sign, your conversations are lively, your mind is inspiring, and you are thinking one step ahead. Before the month ends, Venus enters your sign from April 30 to June 6, and love is also moving forward for you now. Overall, this is a month where you are experiencing some happy outcomes and loyal support.
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleTAURUS
April is a month of passion and purpose, Taurus. You are living in your abundance, and are focused on valuing yourself and the things you are bringing to fruition right now. Venus, your ruling planet, goes direct on March 12 after being retrograde in your financial house since March 1, and you are moving into the month experiencing more opportunities and also feeling more respected in what you are accumulating for yourself and standing your ground on.
Taurus Season officially begins on April 19, and it’s all about you right now. This Taurus Season is smoothing things out for you in love, with new relationship developments unfolding and life flourishing for you. The New Moon this month is in your sign on April 27, it’s time for a new beginning. You are truly embracing your strength in April, making things happen for yourself, and no longer doubting your future and what is possible for you.
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleGEMINI
This month is all about the options becoming available to you now, Gemini. With your ruling planet Mercury going direct at the beginning of the month on April 7, you no longer feel as held back or out of place as you may have in the past weeks. With Mercury now direct, your thinking is clearer, and you are seeing the opportunities in your career and professional world that you may have missed before.
The more you can embrace your authenticity, the less time you will spend doubting how others perceive you, remember that this month.
On April 12, there is a Full Moon in Libra, highlighting the romance in your life and bringing forth understanding and compassion within your close relationships. You are letting go of old attachments or self-doubts that haven’t been serving your love life, and are growing closer to your own heart in the process. Before April comes to an end, Mars enters your 3rd house of communication, and you are overall leaving the month focused on your progress, your vision, and taking up space because you deserve to.
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleCANCER
This month is all about balancing your time and energy wisely, Cancer. You are being reminded not to overwork or overwhelm yourself in April, and to focus on doing the things that are within your control right now. The Sun is in your 10th house of career for most of the month so you are feeling really passionate about the things you are developing in your life right now, but it’s all about finding the right balance between your personal goals and your needs in your relationships as well.
The Full Moon in Libra on April 12 will be a time to devote your energy to self-care, close loved ones, and overall getting some time to decompress. You are ready to let go of the things that don’t make you feel safe or nurtured and are receiving an emotional renewal right now. The New Moon in Taurus at the end of the month is a time to focus on your intentions on your community, friendships, and aspirations in life, and to pay attention to where you can create more abundance here.
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleLEO
Things are turning around for you for the better, Leo. April is a dynamic month, and you are owning your inner alchemist. With a Full Moon in your 3rd house of communication on April 12, you are getting the messages you have been looking for and the mental clarity you have found is bringing closure to some of your close relationships. This month is about being flexible and trusting the changes that are happening for you right now.
On April 18, Mars enters your sign until June 17, and this is huge for you. You began the year with Mars retrograde in your sign, so you are getting the opportunity now, to rewrite some of the things that weren’t working for you at the beginning of the year. You are overcoming previous obstacles, and experiencing a breakthrough in your life this month. Before April ends, there is a New Moon in Taurus, highlighting your career, reputation, and professional life. This is a good New Moon to set your intentions for what goals you want to come to fruition for you now.
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleVIRGO
This month is all about building new foundations in your life, Virgo. You are feeling more supported and in tune with your own inner needs and interests, and it’s bringing you closer to people and systems that resonate. Your ruling planet Mercury goes direct this month on April 7 after being retrograde for the past few weeks; bringing more clarity, understanding, and compassion to your partnerships in life. You are focused on love this month and are working together with others to make your dreams come true.
Mid-month, Mars moves into your 12th house of closure and endings, and there is a journey of healing that you experience until June 17. You are motivated to understand yourself better and are looking at the past more right now in order to do so. This is a month of recovering and healing from what has been, for new foundations to be built upon. The New Moon on April 27 is a beautiful way to end the month, as you are getting glimpses of a new, abundant, adventure that is ahead of you.
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleLIBRA
This is a big month of closure for you, Libra. The Sun is in your 7th house of love for most of April, and your heart is in the right place. With Venus, your ruling planet, going direct on April 12 after being retrograde since March 1, you are finally able to take a breath. You are not experiencing as many obstacles when it comes to communication matters and you are feeling like you have the tools you need to move forward right now.
The Full Moon of the month is in your sign on April 12, and you are ready to let go of what isn’t working for you. You have been through a lot recently and have gained the clarity you need to let go of old attachments. Venus moves into your house of love before the month ends, and you are leaving the month feeling more in tune with where things are moving forward for you, rather than what you are leaving behind. Your heart moves through a journey in April, and your emotions are showing you a lot.
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleSCORPIO
April is a month of success, progress, and dreams coming to fruition, Scorpio. You are focused on your health, your priorities, and creating space for the new beginnings that you are creating in your life right now. The Full Moon mid-month is a big closure moment for you, and you are owning the fact that you have healed and you are no longer the same person you were in the past. This is a month of stepping into your power and feeling supported in doing so.
Mid-month, Mars enters your 10th house of career and public life and you are shining within your purpose. Over the next month and a half, you are going to be gaining some new opportunities that will be serving your professional life and goals. This is the month to show up and to let your skills, talents, and authenticity shine. On April 17, there is a New Moon in your opposite sign, Taurus, and you are leaving the month with some pleasant surprises in store for you in love as well.
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleSAGITTARIUS
April is a new beginning for you, Sagittarius. You are focused on putting the action and effort behind your goals, and you are being proactive within the opportunities that you are looking for right now. With a Full Moon in your 11th house of aspirations mid-month, you are letting go of the way you thought things would play out for you and are owning a more abundant version of things.
On April 27, there is a New Moon in Taurus, which will be highlighting your health and what your body needs more of right now. This is a New Moon to set your intentions for your everyday life and to create a new, beneficial routine that will make things easier for you at the end of the day. Before the month ends, Venus enters your 9th house of adventure, and you are leaving the month with your sights set high. Travel plans are likely, and this is a good time to create some new plans for yourself.
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleCAPRICORN
April is about putting one step in front of the other with patience and dedication and trusting the decisions you are making for yourself right now, Capricorn. The Sun is in your 4th house for most of the month, and you are yearning for your safe spaces, comfort foods, and loyal people. Giving yourself more time to decompress, take care of yourself, and ground your energy is essential this month.
Mars enters your 8th house of transformation mid-month and will be fueling your need for some change, excitement, and emotional rejuvenation over the next month and a half. You are entering an impactful moment of the year for you, and you are motivated toward change right now. The New Moon at the end of the month is in a fellow earth sign, highlighting the romantic new beginnings you are entering now. Overall, this month is a process, and you are opening new doors while finding gratitude in what is here for you now.
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleAQUARIUS
April is about giving yourself time to process, accept, and gain a new perspective, Aquarius. You are being guided towards friendship, connection, and community, and are understanding what may be creating the discord in your life that has been distancing you from that. The Full Moon this month is happening in Libra on April 12, and you are ready to let go of feeling like you have to do it all at once or all alone. This month is a reminder to take your time with all the experiences you want to have, trusting that they will come to fruition for you.
Mars enters your house of love and partnership on April 18, and you enter a passionate and steamy time. Romance is in the air for you as you move through the month, and you are spending more of your time with those who you want to move forward with. Venus also moves into a relationship area of your chart before April ends, and you are surrounded by love and community. Overall, this month is showing you that you are not alone and you don’t have to go through the heavy stuff alone either.
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecolePISCES
This is a month where your heart is shining, and you are feeling in tune with the progress you have made in your life and within your relationships, Pisces. You are owning your value, your worth, and the beauty of who you are, and are ready to leave the past behind. With Mercury and Venus both going direct in Pisces this month after being retrograde in your sign for the past few weeks, you are in a better space than you have been, and there are fewer obstacles and miscommunications in your life.
You have been through a journey of understanding yourself better through your goals, perspectives, and interests, and have been committing yourself to your authenticity. On April 27, there is a New Moon in Taurus happening, and this New Moon is a good time for communication matters, getting your message across, and for your creative pursuits. With the clarity you feel within your mind and heart right now, you are making a lot of progress in April and feeling pleased with where life is headed.
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I thought that it was important to address this term for a couple of different reasons. One is for the reason that is mentioned in the origin story of sobergasms that I will address in just a sec. Another is because…people who are in long-term committed relationships? I think it’s pretty safe to say that, unless they both have some sort of substance abuse situation going on, most of them have sex some, if not most of the time, without alcohol (and certainly without drunkenness) being involved. Those who engage in casual/recreational sex, though? Well, I’ve got some stats included in this piece that will show you how much alcohol and copulation go hand in hand in a lot of those instances.
And although some studies say that casual sex (i.e., hook-up culture) isn’t quite as rampant as it was, even just a few years ago, at the same time, let’s not act like it isn’t still happening. Hell, every time we hop on social media, we see evidence (and sometimes fallout) of that. Plus, while many people are out here declaring that they don’t want or need marriage anymore (chile) — do you hear them saying that they feel the same way about sex?Yeah…exactly.
With all of this being said, let’s take a moment to look into what sobergasms are really all about and why, if you are sexually active and are not in anything serious, you should strongly consider having (more of) them.
The Origin Story of Sobergasms Is…
GiphyAight, so here’s the backstory of sobergasms. Last year, right around the holiday season, the sexual wellness brand Lovehoney decided to partner up with an alcohol-free drink company (CleanCo) to create a mocktail (I will share the recipe in just a sec) — you know, a cocktail that doesn’t have any alcohol in it. They did it because their UK (where they are based) research revealed that people tend to drink almost 40 percent more during the holidays (in the US, Americans reportedly drink twice as much as they usually do around that time).
If you add to that the fact that Lovehoney conducted their own study which cited that 64 percent of participants have admitted to having sex while being intoxicated and yet only 20 percent said that they actually enjoyed it.
And that was the main motivation for why Lovehoney came up with sobergasms: it’s a way to encourage people to be more intentional about going without drinking (so much) so that they can engage in the kind of sex that they will actually find to be pleasurable; especially since their findings also discovered that only 29 percent of men and 11 percent of women have consistent orgasms when they are drunk compared to 45 percent of men and 15 percent of women who do when they are sober.
As I thought about all of this, I decided to go on my own fact-finding mission about alcohol and its relationship to sex. It helped me to come up with even more reasons to cosign on sobergasms — and I’m hoping that it will do the same thing for you.
Before I share 10 interesting stats, first, the recipe for the mocktail that Lovehoney and CleanCo came up with:
Sobergasm Clean Drink
25ml fresh lime juice
50ml CleanCo Clean T
1 tbsp fresh orange juice
1 tbsp hot honey
Sea salt, chili flakes, and lime for garnish
You can click here for thorough instructions on how to make it. Over on this side of the pond, we’re pretty big on mocktails ourselves and so, if you'd like to test out some other recipes, check out “10 Spring/Summer Cocktails (& Mocktails) That Your Vagina Will Truly Enjoy” and “Sexy Sips: 8 Fall-Themed Mocktails That Are Aphrodisiacs Too.”
And while you’re pondering which mocktail you would actually like to try first, let’s get into some other reasons why oftentimes “less is best” when it comes to mixing sexual activity with alcohol consumption.
10 Stats to Keep in Mind When It Comes to Mixing Sex with Alcohol
GiphyWhen it comes to how many people partake in alcoholic beverages, Gallup cites that 65 percent of Americans who are over the age of 21 claim to do so. Out of those, the average amount of drinks that they consume on a weekly basis is around four. The preferred drink of choice? Wine (31-35 percent) with liquor being a close second (30 percent). Now factor all of this into your mind as you read the following information about alcohol and its relationship to sex:
1. One study revealed that almost 30 percent of participants were less safe when it came to their sexual decisions due to them having alcohol in their system.
2. About half of the sexual assaults that happen on college campuses involve alcohol whether it’s the perpetrator, the victim, or both.
3. Among college-aged women, when they are having sex while in a relationship, alcohol is involved 20 percent of the time. When it’s casual sex? Alcohol is involved 53 percent of the time (heavy drinking happened a whopping 36 percent of the time).
4. 42 percent of college students binge drink and 400,000 of them have sex without using a condom while consuming alcohol.
5.One study revealed that almost 72 percent of college students regretted their sexual decisions at least once. Out of the ones surveyed, almost 32 percent said that alcohol was involved when they did.
6.Of people aged 18-25, more individuals regretted having sex while having alcohol in their system than they did when it came to weed or ecstasy.
7. Women tend to participate in “non-traditional” sexual acts and masturbate more when they are intoxicated than when they are sober.
8. Although a small amount of alcohol in a woman’s system can arouse them sexually, high amounts will decrease it and can even make it harder for them to become naturally lubricated.
9. Alcohol increases the probability of having more sex partners for women.
10. Alcohol can make it more challenging for women to climax.
When you take all of this in, although I certainly appreciate how Lovehoney has brought to our attention that too much alcohol can make sex less physically pleasurable, as you can see, it can also make coitus more risky, potentially more dangerous and it can cause us to make some pretty unwise decisions, if we’re not careful as well.
And so honestly, this additional intel should further solidify why you should be uber cautious and super careful if you are going to bring alcohol into the picture when it comes to having sex with another person — again, especially if it’s recreational sex. Because even though intercourse, on average, lasts between 3-7 minutes (Google is right there), that small window of time can result in a lifetime of consequences that you may not wish to experience.
Besides, it’s not like sober sex doesn’t have its own benefits…
5 Benefits of Having Sex While You’re Completely Sober
GiphyYou know what’s interesting about the word “sober”? It doesn’t just mean that you aren’t drunk; it also means that you are “rational,” “self-controlled” and “level-headed” — and yes, when you are about to have sex with someone who you aren’t in a serious, long-term or exclusive sexual relationship with, it’s best that you are all of these things. Because while alcohol can initially make you feel like sexual activity will be more fun, sober sex has the following five proven things to offer.
1. You can better trust your decisions. Recently, I watched a video of four women who taped and posted themselves driving drunk. Moments later, all of them were ejected from the vehicle that they were in and only one survived (and she is in critical condition). Imagine if they could go back in time and go without having alcohol in their system before getting in that vehicle. SMDH.
When it comes to today’s topic, no matter what pop culture tries to tell you, any act that can potentially result in you conceiving or contracting something that doesn’t have a cure is serious as all get out. That’s why, especially when it comes to casual sex, you want to make sure that you go into the act as level-headed as possible — and you can only really do that if/when you are sober.
2. You can clearly articulate your needs and expectations. We’ve all seen a movie (or personally know someone) where a woman got tipsy and wanted to do certain sexual things; however, as alcohol began to affect her system even more, she wasn’t sure if she wanted to go further or not. When you’re sober, it’s so much easier to articulate what you want/don’t want and what your expectations are. T
hat said, there are so many people who have sex-related regrets and a big part of the reason is because alcohol totally clouded their judgment and sometimes altered their thoughts and words. Definitely something to (always) keep in mind when it comes to consuming alcohol in the presence of others.
3. You’re more present. I also want to make sure that I touch on some of the things that prompted Lovehoney to come up with sobergasms in the first place. As far as the purely pleasurable side of sex goes, ask anyone who has a satisfying situation in their bedroom and I’m willing to bet that one thing that they will advise is to not overthink the experience and to remain in the moment.
When you’re intoxicated, your mind tends to be all over the place. When you’re sober-minded, it’s easier to remain focused.
4. Sex definitely tends to be more pleasurable. I’ve already shared with you that you are wetter and it’s easier for you to climax when you don’t have a lot of alcohol in your system. A part of the reason is that, since your brain is your biggest sex organ, it’s important to keep in mind that alcohol has a way of negatively affecting the communication pathways of your brain; when that happens, it can cause your moods to become erratic and you tend to become less coordinated too.
Not well-lubricated. Not climaxing. In a bad mood. Do those that sound like the keys to an awesome sexual experience? Right…absolutely not.
5. There is a lot less regret. Once you have sex with someone, you can’t take it back. That’s why it’s so important that you go into the act feeling like this is something that you really want to do (the person and the acts included); you significantly decrease the chances of you having this type of certainty when you’re not sober. And sexual regret can sometimes be one of the hardest things to get past.
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Sobergasms. Although there seem to be new terms that come up daily, one that I can definitely get behind is that. Because it encourages everyone to be sober-minded and sexually responsible in order to ultimately have a more fulfilling sexual experience.
And I will certainly raise a mocktail to that.
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