Keeping that fire and desire burning in a relationship is a task, but it's one that needs to be conquered if you plan on keeping "bae" hooked and latched. We all can get a little comfortable around our significant other once we've broken down all of the "how to impress them" barriers. But one things for sure, routine can be quite boring. If we want to keep our partner on their toes, then we need to make sure we are always switching up the tempo in and outside the bedroom. The imagination is a vivid playground and appealing to it is a sure way to have them begging for more of you.
Finding a healthy balance between work and play can sometimes feel like we're pulling teeth, but I can bet you remember the exact feeling of when you first met that special one and how excited you would get physically and mentally when you were ready to see them. Those feelings can be prolonged when we learn to implement ways to keep our partner's interest piqued and our climaxes peaked too.
When it comes to trying to keep things spicy, it simply goes back to the things that we may find unconventional but are easy to apply. Let your imagination run free and whatever comes to mind, go with that.
Here are a few essential aspects that you should implement to keep your them reminded of why they're yours.
Public Pleasure
112 couldn't have said it any better: "We can do it anywhere." Conventional places definitely get the job done but if you want to ignite a fire in your partner's heart and their nether regions too, you better use your imagination and get creative from time to time. Don't be afraid to take it back to the old days. Ride out with your partner to a beautiful place, park the car and head to third base. If you're a homebody, you've always got the shower, the patio and the kitchen to make things insanely hot. The element of surprise is a sure bet to get them at attention.
Sensual Games
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Hide and Seek is not just for kids. If you're looking to stimulate their mind and body, give your partner a run for their money by making them work their way to your well-deserved treasure. A scavenger hunt will certainly do the trick. When they come over excited to see you, prepare a few notes for them to find when they enter the door and lead them all the way to their honey. Trust, bae will be ready and anxious by the time they reach you, looking and smelling delightful of course. A good ol' fashioned card game of strip tease or sexy dice are an easy way to bring a fun and playful aspect back to any relationship that's a bit lackluster.
Sex Toys
Toys, how many of us have them? Toys, the ones we can depend on. If all else fails, you can try everything from vibrators, swings, cuffs, plugs, gags, and more if you want to add some flavor to your sexual menu. It's OK to get creative and think outside the "Box", literally and figuratively. When it comes to pleasure, the foreplay up to the actual act is sometimes the best part of sex. When you add toys to pleasure yourself and your partner, you learn what truly satisfies each other and tap into limitations, boundaries, and sexual stigmas that you may want to get rid of.
Role Play
Honey, you have to become your lover's favorite actress. Go completely out of your comfort zone and get fully into character of whoever or whatever you're trying to portray. A clutch moment would be to have bae meet you at a bar, let them know your location, and where you will be seated and let the fun begin. When your boo arrives, you will be fully in character as your alter ego, a stranger that they've never met before but that's ready to go to them for the night. Explore your fantasies, dress up for them or explore something kinky that you both may have been hesitant to try. It's all about making the moment count, so think outside the box and let the games begin.
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It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Alistair Berg/Getty ImagesStep 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Getty ImagesStep 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
DMP/ Getty ImagesStep 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
