Now that the new year is here and it is setting the tone for the decade ahead, we have the chance to use this sturdy and supportive energy to get us where we're trying to go; especially in love. We talk about wanting to change our relationship status from single to coupled, committed, or married but many are not sure what to do to help that process along.
Willing or not, you've probably tried online dating, blind dates, the friend of a friend referral and the tried and true, meeting someone out in these streets. For some, nothing seems to land them with that "stay bae". You know - that person who you meet, hang out with and when the date is coming to a close, you look at each other and say, "You wanna stay here and get another drink?" That's a stay-bae.
We all want that and yet many of us struggle to make that kind of connection. But, there's hope. Often the energy we carry out into the world has an impact on how we relate to others. We cultivate our love energy at home, and if your home energy isn't inviting companionship and romance, it could be a real struggle to land love at your doorstep.
Here is how you can help the year deliver the romantic connections you long for. Assess your home for the following feng shui no-no's and use these feng shui tips to make sure you are dripping in romance sauce every time you step out the house.
Evaluate What Your Bed Is Saying
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Our bed is critical when it comes to attracting romance and love. As you know, couples use the bed for many things - sex, pillow talk, Netflix and even protest. Your bed must set the tone for the life you want to enjoy in that bed. In feng shui, furniture placement is vital. Is either side of your bed up against a wall? If it is, move it. Both sides of your bed need to be accessible.
If you have your bed up against a wall like a bunk bed, stop right now and move it. How can your love partner or "Mr. Right for Tonight" feel welcomed if he has to climb over you like a six-year-old cousin who is spending the night? Both sides of your bed need equal access. Only headboards should be up against the wall.
Dress Your Bed Invitingly
Now that your bed is appropriately positioned, is it dressed? Do you have a well-dressed bed or do you leave the covers twisted, and the pillows tossed when you start the day? Having a bed that is appealing with comfortable pillows sends you out of the house with a romance confidence that is attractive to others.
Just think about that moment when hottie at the gym is giving you the eye from the treadmill, and you remember you got your granny panties on. Your energy shuts down because there is no way you will let gym-bae see those raggedy yet comfortable drawers on you. So your vibe shuts him down before you even get to say a word. It's the same principle with the bed linens and placement.
Add Some Tables To The Mix
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And while we are in the bedroom, do you have nightstands or end tables by your bed? You should. They frame the energy. Not having nightstands is like going out without earrings. You should decorate the nightstands with warm lighting, something fragrant and of course, keep them clutter-free. There should be no photos of family, children, or ex-mates on your nightstand. The ex-mate picture is a given, but family and children photos are one concept that many people miss.
No romantic partner wants to be looking at a photo of your father as he is trying to romance this man's daughter. Is this making sense? It's a romance killer. Save the family photos for the living room or other non-romance parts of the house.
Match Your Knicks With Knacks
The other feng shui tip you can use to invite couple-hood into your home and life is to have things in doubles in your home. If you have artwork on the walls, have prints that represent doubles. For example, instead of one boat on the lake, choose a piece that has two boats. If you have a cookie jar in the kitchen, get a matching jar for your tea bags. Instead of one big lamp for the living room, get two lamps that can light the whole room together. If you are a knick-knack person, be sure that your knick has a knack to match. We need to create the energy of coupling and pairs in our home, so the message is subtly clear to stay-bae when you invite him over.
And finally, make sure the entrance to your home is clear, bright and smelling sweet when you open the door. Now that your home has you ready to attract love; be sure not to let a cluttered, dark entryway ruin all of your hard work when you invite potential-bae for a visit.
Give these feng shui tips a try, sooner than later. Here's to this year granting love to everyone who can show that they are ready to receive.
Featured image by Shutterstock
Originally published on January 12, 2018
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Again, the answer never changes because, if there is one thing that Shellie Reneé Warren is gonna get, it’s 6-8 (sometimes nine) hours of sleep. However, since my chronotype (check out “Ever Wonder What Personality Traits Make Someone A 'Morning Person'?”) means that I like/prefer to write in the wee hours of the morning, sometimes I will sleep for the night for five hours and take a nap in the day. And y’all, that is just fine with me because I am well aware of the fact that napping does everything from give me more energy, heighten my alertness and even make me more creative to decrease stress levels, strengthen immunity, and reduce my chances of experiencing a heart attack or stroke.
My problem is I will oftentimes go “overboard” with my daytime zzz’s. What I mean by that is, in order to get the most out of a nap, they say thatyou shouldn’t sleep for longer than 25 minutes or so; otherwise, you could wake up feeling sluggish (I don’t but…). Also, it can make resting, soundly, at night a bit of a struggle.
So, what are you saying, Shellie? We should get quickies in? Yeah. And it’s funny that the word “quickie” would come up because just like a sex quickie can do wonders for you (and it can — check out “12 Super Solid Reasons To Have A Quickie Every Single Day”), it’s a full-circle moment when I say that something that can improve the quality of your sex life is to have a power nap (a nap that lasts between 10-30 minutes).
Wanna know how the two things correlate? Honestly, it’s no secret that sleep and sex work together to optimize both (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”). Today, though, we’re going to tap into how a nap, specifically, can have you partaking in some of the best sex that you’ve experienced in a minute. I’ll explain.
Naps Reduce Stress
GiphyIf you’re feeling super stressed out right now, you are not alone. There is plenty of data out here that says that most of us are stressed for at least a couple of reasons at a time — and that can impact your sexual health on a few levels. For one thing, it can bring about feelings of depression and/or anxiety. Stress can also throw your hormone levels off (including your cycle) which can weaken your libido. Stress can make you want to put distance between you and your partner (yes, literally).
Stress can also make it challenging to get aroused or to have an orgasm. And just what can help to decrease stress? Taking a nap. Since sleep has a way of helping you to “get off of the clock” and relax a bit, that can lower your stress levels and “reset” your body so that you are calmer — and that, in turn, can do wonders for your sex drive and ultimately your sex life.
Naps Improve Your Mood
GiphyThere is one person in my life, and fairly 80 percent of the time, she’s in a super good mood. Oh, but let that girl go without sleep, and…who is this woman? LOL. There’s research behind why this happens. When a person is sleep-deprived, it messes with their brain chemicals, and that can amplify emotions like anger, restlessness and sadness. In fact, one study revealed that people who had their sleep disrupted throughout the night, they ended up having their positive outlook on life reduced by about 30 percent.
And geeze, who wants to have sex when they’re not feeling very good? Anyway, since serotonin is a neurotransmitter that helps to regulate your moods, your sleep patterns, and your libido and sleep is what helps to keep it in balance — by taking a nap, not only can it help you to feel better, it can also increase your desire for sex (it can also build up your endurance which is also…sexually beneficial).
Naps Increase Your Focus and Concentration
GiphySomething that some of my clients bring up is how, when it comes to having sex, sometimes the flesh is willing while the spirit is weak because, although the desire for intimacy is there, so much is going on that they aren’t able to get still enough to focus on experiencing copulation with their partner. This also tracks because, when you don’t have enough rest, your brain finds itself not working in harmony and that can make it hard to do everything from approaching life with a sense of flexibility to making necessary decisions.
Certain data also reveal that a lack of rest can cause you to have a really poor attention span and not process things in context (the more you know). So, if you really want to get some yet it’s hard for you to focus long enough to make it happen, ask your bae to lie down with you and take a nap. Between the sleep and the snuggling (check out “Fall's Coming: 8 Wonderful Health Benefits Of Cuddling”) — you may wake up with your mind and body totally on the same page. #wink
Naps Can Make You Feel Better About Your Body
GiphyEven if, overall, you feel really good about your body, I think that we all have moments when we feel less attractive than others — and who wants to have sex when they don’t really feel…very sexy? Well, something else that sleep, in general, can do is increase your confidence in your body.
For one thing, if you want to lose a few pounds, sleep can actually make that happen by helping your body metabolize the glucose (sugar) that’s in it so that you can better manage your appetite. Other studies go on to share that since sleep deprivation can impact one’s mental health and emotional stability in a negative way, of course, getting enough rest would increase body positivity.
Shoot, science even goes so far as to say that insomnia can cause people to have an elevated level of dissatisfaction when it comes to their body image. Don’t take their word for it, though. Look in the mirror before a nap. Then look in a mirror after waking up from me. Do you feel better? I’d be surprised if you don’t.
Makes Your Brain Bigger…Which Could Make Your Orgasms Better
GiphyI saved the best for last by design. Now if you’re wondering how in the world a nap can improve (and possibly increase) your orgasms — oh, there is a method to the madness…trust. For starters, the saying that your biggest sex organ is your brain? That isn’t a myth. Long story less long, the brain is what houses your central nervous system and that is what controls how men and women sexually function (yes, literally).
And since the brain also releases feel-good chemicals like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin during sex and brain activity significantly increases in women during sexual activity (especially right before she orgasms) — well, would it trip you out to know that when you take a nap, your brain actually expands? A bigger brain (that’s healthy) can potentially intensify your sexual experiences (and your climaxes) — and who doesn’t want that to go down?
____
Like I said earlier, I never have to be convinced to get a nap in. However, if your sex life has been a bit stagnant lately, you’ve been feeling a little sluggish and you’re not sure what to do — I’m hoping that a nap can get you right.
There’s enough science to prove that it can. All you need to do is give it a shot.
Now where’s your pillow and sleep mask, chile?
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