The month of love is here, and the universe is throwing in some exciting surprises in February. February is a time of forward movement, progress, and following your soul's purpose. Moving through Aquarius Season this month, the collective is more connected than ever -- and inspiration is flowing through the world. The month begins with a New Moon in Aquarius on February 1 and this is a powerful New Moon for setting intentions. Aquarius rules the house of hope and dreams, good fortune, and friendships, and it’s about believing in your dreams and the support you can receive on the way to reaching them. With Mercury going direct after being Retrograde since January 14, there are fewer roadblocks and more developments taking place now and anything is possible.
Mercury moves into Aquarius on Valentine’s Day this year, and sometimes friendships, your community, and social media memes are all you need for a magical day. The energy of the day is that of progress, excitement, and authenticity, and it’s about saying YES to new opportunities. On February 16, the Full Snow Moon of the year arrives and is occurring in the fiery sign of Leo. This is a passionate, creative, and powerful Full Moon and we are being called to step up and lead. February is a month of aligning with your soul purpose and intentions and this Full Moon highlights their development of them.
On February 22, 2022, the United States’ infamous first-ever Pluto Return occurs, and you can expect some major transformations taking place in the world during this time. Pluto is currently moving through Capricorn, breaking down outdated and unstable systems of the world, and building new and more empowered ones, and these are generational changes that are taking place at this time. Pluto is the planet of death and rebirth, the wheels of karma are turning. By the end of the month, Pisces Season begins on February 18, and spiritual renewal is taking place.
Aries
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleFebruary is a month of transformation for you, Aries. This is the month to flow with change rather than fight it, and to see the gifts of a new day. There is a New Moon at the beginning of the month in your house of friendships and good fortune, and you are entering February with your soul tribe by your side. This New Moon is a good time to set your intentions for the year, and also to think about what new experiences you want to see within your community, friendships, network, and soul purpose.
The energy of the month is turning thoughts into manifestations, and there are fewer roadblocks on the way to your goals with Mercury officially moving out of retrograde and going direct on February 3. The clarity is coming in, and you are tapping into your power of healing, creation, and transformation. With a Full Moon in fellow fire sign before the month ends on the 16th, you are seeking some closure in regards to romantic matters and pleasure pursuits, and are redefining what happiness means to you. February is your month to decide for yourself where you go from here, Aries.
Taurus
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleFebruary is a month of love, and this energy flows well with your Venusian soul, Taurus. February is all about dancing with life, changing things up, and letting your spirit feel the passion and possibilities of life. With your ruling planet Venus officially direct after being retrograde since December 2021, you are feeling more freedom and emotional ease when it comes to your relationships and resonance with them. You are seeking your new beginnings this month and with a New Moon in your house of career, reputation, and goals. Success is yours to claim right now.
If you’ve been feeling any stagnation or stuck in the usual routine, February is the month to break out of this and do something to change the energy. Let your attachments to outcomes go, and faith come in. You are ready for something new this month, Taurus. The Full Moon on the 16th is a time to unwind, connect with family and close loved ones, and nurture your inner world. Time in your safe spaces is calling as the month ends, and there is a sense of contentment, groundedness, and success with you in February.
Gemini
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleFebruary is a month of contemplation, insight, and answering the callings of your soul, Gemini. With your ruling planet Mercury going direct this month on February 3 after being retrograde since January 14, the fog is lifting, and insights abound. There are a lot of opportunities for connection, collaboration, and communication this month and you are exploring your options right now. The New Moon in Aquarius on the 1st is occurring in your house of adventure, travel, spirituality, and the higher mind, and this is a good time to set some intentions for future vacays and spiritual journeys.
With fewer communication mishaps happening this month, you get some real opportunities to see with an open perspective and to make decisions on things that have felt up in the air for you until now. Moving through air sign energy until the 18th flows well with your soul, and you are moving through February in synergy. You are connecting to your soul purpose, life intentions, and how to make them happen this month. The Full Moon on the 16th is transiting your house of communication, and you are receiving some important messages, phone calls, and insights before the month-end.
Cancer
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is a time of rebirth, release, and empowerment for you, Cancer. February is a month of releasing what no longer serves you, and being around healthy and supportive environments. There is a New Moon in your house of transformation on the first day of the month, and you are ready to dive deep into what has been serving you and your emotional world, and what has been weighing you down. You are releasing some old ties and bonds this month and renewing your spirit. February is your time of letting go and moving forward with your empowerment.
Although this is only the second month of 2022, you have already been through a few different major cycles this year. You have been gaining a deeper understanding of the depths of your being, and going through a spiritual awakening this year. There is a Full Moon in Leo on the 16th, and this Full Moon is going to be highlighting your value systems and how you’ve been implementing them in your relationships, commitments, and time. This Full Moon is a time of clarity when it comes to your foundations and sense of security. Self-love affirmations are medicine this month, Cancer.
Leo
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleFebruary is a month of change, setting your intentions, and moving into new environments, Leo. Breakthroughs are occurring for you this month and with a New Moon in your opposite sign on the 1st; your emotional world, relationships, and sense of balance are where you are looking to see these new beginnings take place. There is a strong focus on love for you this month, Leo and it’s about breaking down outdated perspectives and beliefs in love and nurturing new ones that support your self-worth, love, and identity.
When you can honor the cycles of change, accept that everything needs its time for transformation, and move with your faith, you can obtain your victories this month, Leo. One of the most important Full Moons of 2022 for you is happening on February 16th, and it’s occurring in your sign. This Full Moon is the Full Snow Moon of the year and is a time of deep personal revelations and insight for you. With a Full Moon transiting your 1st house of self at the end of the month, you are leaving the doubts and concerns of the past behind, and moving forward with your courage, Leo.
Virgo
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleYou are moving forward with inspiration and passion this month, Virgo. February is a month of creativity, spirituality, and connecting with your dreams in life. There is a New Moon in your 6th house of daily routines on the 1st of the month, and you are entering the month getting things in order like the Virgo you are. With your ruling planet Mercury going direct on February 3rd after being retrograde since January 14, you are ready to move forward with the clarity you have found in regards to what feels best for you in life and your self-expression.
February is the month to birth your dreams and to focus on what you want to create and express to the world. You are aligned with your soul purpose, and seeing some important intentions through this month, Virgo. Show up for yourself by being your biggest cheerleader and advocate right now, and have your back on your ideas and intentions. At the end of the month, there is a Full Moon in your house of closures, culmination, and healing, and you are closing one chapter and dreaming a new one into being. Trust that you are on the right path, Virgo.
Libra
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleLife is unfolding for you in new ways this month, Libra. Magic is in the air, and your inner source of love is shining. February is a journey and it’s one of untangling any confusion of what has been and finding understanding. With your ruling planet Venus officially direct, love is working for you right now. There is a New Moon in fellow air sign Aquarius as the month begins, and you are seeing new opportunities and experiences unfold for you in love, romance, and happiness. Flow with your joy, and don’t fight it, Libra.
Moving into February, you are expressing more of what has been going on within and experiencing new connections and developments within your relationships and friendships in life because of this. There is a sense of vulnerability with you this month, Libra, and you are letting go of anything that’s been holding you back from fully living in your freedom and self-expression. The Full Moon in Leo on the 16th is your time of connecting with those that inspire, honoring your soul purpose in life, and seeing some dreams and manifestations come full circle. Shine your light, Libra.
Scorpio
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleFebruary is about trusting the divine timing of life, Scorpio. You are already there, it’s about believing in who you are and what you can do right now. As the month begins there is a New Moon on the 1st occurring in your house of home and family, and you are seeing new beginnings within your foundations and safe spaces are being renewed during this time. February is about following your inner compass and not overthinking things. Connect with your higher self, live out your purpose, and pave your path, Scorpio.
With Venus officially direct and moving through your house of communication this month, February is a time of soul expression and letting your voice be heard. Allow your ideas, thoughts, and perspectives to be spoken this month, and trust your power in doing so. You are being called to speak up and show up this month. The Full Moon on February 16 is moving through your house of career, and you are seeing past hard work, efforts, and intentions coming full circle right now. The spotlight is on you at the end of the month, what do you want the world to see, Scorpio?
Sagittarius
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleFebruary is an enlightening month for you, Sagittarius. You are rising above and seeking your new beginnings right now. With a New Moon in your house of communication and the mind at the beginning of the month, you are moving through communication breakthroughs, and questions are being answered that change a lot for you moving forward. The insights you are gaining as you enter February are significant for you. Set your intentions for connection, expansion, and clarity, and communicate from the heart.
This month is a time of development and spiritual awakening, and you are reaching new heights in February, Sagittarius. Energy is everything, and you understand this and are making sure your vibe is right before anything else. There is a Full Moon in fellow fire sign Leo towards the end of the month, and you are seeing the culmination of some journeys and developments you have been through this month. This Full Moon is giving you a new perspective and reminding you of the gifts of your unique mind. It’s about releasing your hold on what was, nourishing what is, and getting excited about what’s to be.
Capricorn
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecole2022 has been an active year for you so far with two retrogrades (Venus and Mercury) moving through your sign. The gifts of February are that Venus is officially direct, Mercury goes direct on February 3rd, and there is less pressure to have it all together or to be someone or something to others that you no longer relate to. February is about aligning with who you are, what you want, and what you see for your future, and creating boundaries where necessary. Everything hasn’t always been the easiest for you this year, but that doesn’t mean that things aren’t changing for you.
There is a Full Moon in your house of transformation on February 16, and what’s been hidden is coming to light for you at this time. Your emotional world is highlighted, and you are getting the full picture right now. Align mind, body, and soul. There has been a lot to process, and you are rising from what’s been and reclaiming your power. With Venus direct in your sign for the entire month love and support will be there for you, Capricorn, allow it in.
Aquarius
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleYou are moving into new territory this month, Aquarius. February is about taking things one day at a time and honoring your new beginnings. With a New Moon in your sign on February 1, these new chapters of life are coming quickly, and they are positively serving your progress. Mercury retrograde moved into your sign at the end of January and goes direct on February 3 after being retrograde for a few weeks, and fewer misunderstandings having to do with yourself and how others are perceiving you are possible now.
Balance is key in February as you move through your intentions in life, and those having to do with the relationships in your life as well. With a Full Moon moving through your house towards the end of the month, romance is highlighted for you and you are moving beyond what has been here. Relationship/partnership matters come full circle and you are seeing some endings, closures, and clarity happening now that leads you to new experiences in love. Trust the process and don’t be afraid to take risks this month, Aquarius. You are crossing the threshold from what’s been into what’s to be.
Pisces
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecoleFebruary is a month of reflection, balance, and self-expression, Pisces. You are balancing the need for rest and nourishment, with your need to move forward with your new ideas and intentions this month. This is the time to come out of your cave a little bit more, and express what’s been needing to be said. When you can allow yourself to fully be and express who you are, you can meet more like-minded individuals who love what you have to say. The New Moon this month is moving through your house, and you are feeling renewed and focused on your healing and emotional well-being right now.
This month is reflecting the importance of feeling aligned and taking time out for yourself and your personal life. When it feels like there is too much to do and not enough time, check-in and remind yourself the biggest priority should be your peace of mind right now as well. You don’t have to get it all done at once, and the Full Moon later in the month happening in your house is giving you clarity on how to improve a system, daily routine, health habits, or working situation for you.
Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
RELATED
Taja, an actress known most for her role on BET’s The Oval, and businessman/model Ryan Easter tied the knot on July 27 in an intimate and beautiful wedding in LA - surrounded by friends and family. During our 40+ minute conversation, the newlyweds opened up about the inner work journey they both went through individually to become their best selves.
Taja revealed that her grateful and light spirit came after being in a depressive state and doing a great deal of healing and education. And Ryan shared how losing a parent as a youth affected how he showed up in the world and the truths he had to face to embrace who he is wholly.
The pair also chatted about the power of intention, the importance of working through trauma, and the work they do every day to honor their partnership. There’s a reason their glow is so beautiful! It comes from the inside.
“You're meeting me now after I've done all this work, but I had to go through it to get to that space and be in a very happy, healed relationship,” Taja says. Check out the layered conversation below.
xoNecole: I’ll start with the most obvious question: how did you two meet, and what were your initial feelings about each other?
Ryan Easter: We connected through friends. At the time, I was in New York, and she was back and forth between LA and Atlanta. But our mutual female friends were together and decided they needed to set me up. So they confirmed I was looking for something serious and then sent me her picture.
And I was like, "Okay, she looks good - a chocolate drop." But then I thought, "What's wrong with her? So, I called them up, and one of them was messing with me and said, "Oh, she's a little crazy." I was like, "Whoa, I can't do crazy anymore. I've dealt with that before. I’d rather stay by myself than deal with that again." Then she clarified, "No, I'm just kidding. She's crazy in a good way. She's a lot of fun and has her stuff together. That’s how it started for me.
Taja Simpson: I was just going about my life, getting ready for another season of The Oval, when I got a text from my friend Natasha. She said, "Hey, I don't think you're dating anybody, but I have a friend I think you should meet. He's a great guy." She gave me this huge pedigree, saying they had been friends for 19 years. I thought, "Wow, he sounds amazing." But when she sent me a photo, I didn’t like it.
Later, I thought about it and figured it could just not be a good picture. So she sent his Instagram which had all these modeling fitness pictures and stuff. And then I was like, wow - you had my whole husband this time and didn’t tell me - now I told her she could give him my number.
"I was just going about my life, getting ready for another season of The Oval, when I got a text from my friend Natasha. She said, "Hey, I don't think you're dating anybody, but I have a friend I think you should meet. He's a great guy." She gave me this huge pedigree, saying they had been friends for 19 years. I thought, "Wow, he sounds amazing." But when she sent me a photo, I didn’t like it."
Taja Simpson & Ryan Easter
Photo by @jorgemezaphotos
xoN: I love that because, you know, there's all these conversations about the ways people meet, and I still feel like friends and family are one of the best ways. It’s like they know you! What are your thoughts?
Ryan: Yeah, absolutely! You feel a great sense of obligation to be the best version of yourself because you’re not just representing yourself; you’re also representing the person who referred you. I can’t go out there acting like a fool and have them looking at their friend like, "Why did you hook me up with this clown?" It’s like, we're gonna be clear and honest about our intentions. And if it works, great, and if it doesn't, it's okay.
Taja: Exactly. When he called, we spoke that day for like, an hour. The rest was history. We just connected, and it was great. After that, we started talking every day, and now here we are.
xoN: Okay, so tell me about your first date! Do you remember where you went? What did you do? How was the vibe?
Taja: Our first in-person date was two months after we met over the phone. This was during COVID, so we got introduced in July 2020 but didn’t meet until September. From July to September, we were doing video dates and phone calls, building up this excitement about meeting in person. I was really nervous. I thought, "Oh my God, is it going to be like it was over the phone?" We really connected and vibed. I was there to pick him up at LAX, and I felt like this was it. I thought, "God put this brother in my life to be this good, this perfect." It felt too good to be true.
I actually had a friend meet us at the airport to film our meeting without him knowing. I told her to stay in the corner and keep the camera hidden. When he was coming down the escalator, I had this whole plan to run up to him in slow motion and jump into his arms. When I saw him, I froze. I was so nervous that I couldn’t move! He came up to me, gave me a big hug, and swung me around, and I just thought, "Wow!" Everything I planned went out the window.
Ryan: I was really excited to meet her, too. Technically, our first date was at Firestone Brewery. After the airport, we went back to her place to drop off my stuff, and then she said, "I like to drink beer," so she took me to a brewery nearby.
I remember being there, and we were kind of embracing, but not too much since it was technically the first time we were in physical proximity. You still have to play it cool, even after talking for a while. But every time I touched her, it felt good. I thought, "Yeah, this is it." When we hugged at the airport, I felt like, "Yo, this is home." At that moment, I knew she was the one.
xoN: Ugh, I love that. So when did the courtship start to develop into a relationship? Did y'all have that conversation?
Ryan: Initially, we were very clear about our intentions. We were both dating with purpose and had similar aspirations of eventually finding someone to marry, start a family, create businesses together, and live our lives to the fullest. We knew from the beginning that this was our goal and checked in with each other to see if we were on the same page.
After establishing our intentions, it was about having those small conversations. We discussed what was important to each of us—our needs, wants, likes, dislikes, triggers, and traumas. All those details are crucial for building a solid foundation for a healthy relationship. We spent a lot of time getting to know the real person, not just the representative we might present to the world.
Sometimes, it’s difficult because it requires us to be extremely vulnerable. For men, especially in our society, vulnerability is often frowned upon, making it hard to expose that sensitive side. You never know how people will react—some might use it against you, while others might protect you.
I think for her; it took her understanding that mentality that men have and use that to her advantage to make sure she's like, look, this is a safe space for you to allow me to see the full person that you are. I appreciated that because, like, I would tell her, if you really want a man to value you, he has to feel safe with you, right, not necessarily in a physical capacity but more so from an emotional standpoint; I need to feel like I can be safe with you emotionally.
So that courtship was a lot of just having those serious, sometimes difficult conversations about things we're going through in the past to things we aspire to accomplish in the future, to things that we're currently dealing with, and started to gain that understanding about who we are and what we aspire to be, and just continue to flow.
"So that courtship was a lot of just having those serious, sometimes difficult conversations about things we're going through in the past to things we aspire to accomplish in the future, to things that we're currently dealing with, and started to gain that understanding about who we are and what we aspire to be, and just continue to flow."
Taja: I mean, that's exactly right, and a lot of it we spoke about even before we met. Because it was this free thing where we didn’t know each other. We didn't have to be a representative. I was just my authentic self. It’s like - I'm an actor, and I got five or six characters that may come out in our conversation. I'll be funny, then the next moment, I'll be serious. It just happens.
I was very vocal about how I foresee my life going. Also, because I'm in entertainment, that played a part. I had met people before who couldn't handle that. They wanted a woman with a nine-to-five, a teacher, or just somebody with a very strict schedule. But that wasn't me. So I think we were super intentional when it came to dating and making sure we can build and grow together. So, we made that commitment prior to him leaving. He came to LA for a week, and the day before he left, it was like, okay, so this is it.
xoN: I’ve noticed that intention and vulnerability are both powerful words that you two keep using, which I think is essential for any long-term relationship. What are some of your other shared values?
Ryan: Also, we both understood the power of mindset. When you see successful or unsuccessful people, sometimes others will attribute their state to their family or money. And I'm not saying that that doesn't help. But there are a lot of people who have come from very humble beginnings and very troubled past that have gone on to do great things, and it all had to do with their mindset. They had to leave and see themselves doing what they desired to do before it became a reality in the physical realm.
I think a lot of those beliefs and mentalities that we shared was refreshing because, you know, we've all known people that every time you talk to them, something bad is going on. And it's such a drag because they can bring your energy down. We don't subscribe to that. Not saying that we don't go through tough times. But when we do, the question that we always ask ourselves is, what is it that I'm supposed to learn from this? I think those type of elements of just being in alignment mentally about how we view the world definitely help to solidify our relationship and our connection.
Taja: When we met, I was in a headspace of growth. We now call it believe, evolve, become because you have to believe that thing right in order to show up. We both understand that your vibration precedes your manifestation, so you have to vibrate and believe at a certain level. Act as if you have to be in that space, that energy, in order for that thing to come so you can evolve and then become whatever that said thing is. But I was in that headspace before we met, and I was clearing out people in my life.
I was really intentional with finding someone that was in that headspace, too. I was not okay with anyone being stagnant.
Taja Simpson & Ryan Easter
Photo by @jorgemezaphotos
xoN: You two seem so evolved individually and collectively. I'm curious, were there any challenges that you two had to get through together, and what did you learn from that experience?
Ryan: Being parents. And if your partner doesn't have a great pregnancy, then it can be tough, and it stretches you in a lot of ways. But I would definitely say the first five months of being new parents was a lot because we were both exhausted. And she's also trying to heal her body because giving birth puts a tremendous amount of stress on the woman's body. It gives you a different respect for the strength of femininity because I wouldn't want to go through that. And I was there the whole 29 hours.
So during that time I'm getting snappy because I need to rest. I have not been able to rest, and I'm sleep-deprived, and I don't feel like I got my foot in yet. And, and then, on top of that, you have this, this really small human that's completely dependent upon you. They can't do anything for himself, and that, even psychologically, that's a lot to carry. But the thing that I think that has helped us is that we understand that we won't always be on the same page. It's okay to have disagreements, but you always have to lead with love, meaning that if I'm upset with her or she's upset with me, we focus on what the issue is.
Taja: I had a horrible pregnancy and was still feeling like I want to be productive; it’s just part of who I am. And during the newborn phase, like he said, we were exhausted. We were zombies. I'm getting whiny. I need sleep. He's getting snappy and short, and we're having to figure out us. The hardest thing is trying to still learn how to effectively communicate in the midst of this space where you are exhausted; you don't feel good, nothing's going your way.
But I'm a big believer of being accountable, especially for women, because women are not always accountable. But we encourage each other to address the trauma and encourage positive self-thought and talk. Because what you think, speak, and do creates power for better and worse.
xoN: Were there any past traumas you had to heal from in order to love each other correctly, and do you feel comfortable discussing them?
Ryan: For me, the biggest thing was my father’s death at nine. You’re young, and you don’t know how to process the loss. It’s one of those things I thought I dealt with, but when I got into my adult years, I realized it didn’t. I always felt like I had to go above and beyond because I didn’t have my father there to be a man - I excelled in sports and academics, but it was based on an inadequate feeling.
I understand the importance of fathers in children’s life but you still have the power to be the best version of yourself whether your father is there or not. And I believe the almighty Creator will put people in your life to be the best version of yourself. I wanted to be that confident person for her and our children - and I didn’t want to carry that trauma into our relationship or our son. So I worked on it before us and I continue to now.
Taja: Mine was colorism. I grew up where the brown paper bag thing was a thing. There were kids I couldn’t play with because “I was too Black.” I had a family member who called me “Ew.” Like she’d literally say, come here, Ew, you ugly thing. And my family, for a long time, didn’t realize how it was breaking me. But eventually, my mom noticed and taught me more about self-esteem and then I started to do the work. But it still shows its head. I still would have thoughts that I’m not good enough because of how I look. I’ve literally not tried out for roles because of that. One of my friends’ friends has literally called out once that I was the only dark person at an event.
So when I started doing the work, I noticed the ways it showed up, like I just wouldn’t want to be in the sun long. I mean when I was younger, I used to pray to God to make me “better” or lighter. It took a long time to really get over that. There’s a book I wrote called Women Who Shine - where I got my thoughts out about this.
So he knows my sensitive spots and speaks to the little girl in me. It's so interesting how the things we go through when we’re young affect us in adulthood. Mental health is as important as physical health - and I’m grateful that he understands the importance of both of those.
xoN: Thank you for your vulnerability. I hope it helps someone else. Finally, I’ll close with this: what’s your favorite thing about each other?
Ryan: Definitely her mindset. She doesn’t have a victim mindset; she’s empowered. That’s so attractive. I believe that she prides herself on being a good, great communicator. She moves with integrity, you know, I think that's important. And you know, she also understands the importance of taking care of her physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing.
Taja: There’s so many. Where do I start? My husband is supremely supportive. I absolutely love that about him. Also, I love his intention. I love how effectively he communicates. I love how he fathers our child. I love how he looks. Because, praise God. Okay, I'm just gonna put that out there.
But you know what, my favorite thing about him is that I love that he's a man of integrity.
Integrity was the highest things on my list when I’d write out what I wanted in a partner. Because it’s everything. And so I love that I feel the level of safety that I feel with him, that I can completely be my 100% authentic self. I know that he's taking care of me, my heart, and our family. We're good.
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Feature image by @jorgemezaphotos
Or, if Christmas is your favorite time of the year, “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?” may provide you with some holiday inspiration (speaking of Christmas, instead of rose petals, how about putting some poinsettia leaves on your bed? If you heard somewhere that they can be toxic, you’d have to eat like 500 of them for that to be the case, so no worries).
This year, along these same lines, I decided to share 12 creative things that you can do starting now through Christmastime. Each idea is festive, fun, and has its own aphrodisiac element to it that very well could turn this holiday season into some of the best sex that you’ve ever had. Ready?
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1. Snowstorm Sound Effects
Charge it to my mother being a New Yorker and/or me being born in Nebraska, but whenever I think of a romantic getaway, being in a log cabin that’s surrounded by nothing but pine trees and tons of snow is my idea of a really good time. Hmph, meanwhile, I’m writing this while Nashville is currently in the 60s-70s during the day. SMDH.
If you can currently feel my pain and you wish that you had a bit of snow around to get into the holiday season spirit, there are plenty of ASMR videos on YouTube that mimic snowstorms (like these here, here, and here) for you and your bae to cuddle up and listen or, umm, do other stuff to.
I mean, since science says that fall and winter are the best times for sex anyway (check out “Did You Know Fall & Winter Are The Best Times To Have Sex?”), why not do what you can to create as much of the ambiance as possible?
2. Paper Snowflakes (with Sexy Messages on Them)
Speaking of snow, when’s the last time that you’ve made some paper snowflakes? As a child, you may have created them for decoration. Now that you’re grown, though, put a bit of a twist to them by writing sexy messages on the back — you know, things like your favorite sex memory with your partner, a fantasy that you’d like to explore, or what you enjoy most about your man as far as intimacy goes.
You can put the snowflakes in your partner’s briefcase, underneath their pillow, or even hang them over your bed. If you’ve forgotten how to make them, no problem; click here for some instructions.
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3. Portable Fireplaces (or Flameless LED Candles)
Last year, I purchased something that I think is too cute for a friend of mine: tiny reusable bonfires. If you don’t happen to have a fireplace in your home, on some levels, they are the next best thing because they can create a romantic mood on a smaller level. I especially like tabletop firepits (like this one here) and even portable mid-century LED fireplaces (like this one here). Or, if you want something a bit larger, there are indoor tabletop fireplaces that are smokeless and odorless (like this one here).
Speaking of fires, if you and your partner plan on some R&B (meaning all night long) sex, I’d feel better if you went with some LED candles or something. You can put dozens of them all over your bedroom, have sex, fall asleep, and not have to worry about them one bit.
4. DIY Sex Gratitude Journal
How fitting is it that writer William Arthur Ward once said, “Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it?" Since Thanksgiving is the holiday when all are encouraged to express thanks for what they are truly grateful for, purchase a fresh journal, decorate it, and then fill it with things about intimacy with your man that truly moves you.
Then, read some of the entries out loud to him. Learning how to incorporate all five senses (in this case, hearing) into sexual activity (check out “How To Incorporate All Five Senses To Have The Best Sex Ever”) is how to make the experiences better than they’ve ever been.
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5. Homemade Candied Pecans
Pecan pie is pretty popular around this time of year. Well, did you know that pecans are considered to be aphrodisiacs? The main reason is that they are a fairly good source of zinc and zinc increases blood circulation, boosts your libido, and can even help with erectile dysfunction (if that’s something that your partner happens to deal with). So, why not curl up and snack on some homemade candied pecans (easy recipe here) while watching a movie or listening to some holiday music together? You never know how delicious the night may turn out to be because of it. Literally.
6. Cranberry (or Gingerbread) Syrup
A few years ago, I penned an article for the platform entitled, “12 'Sex Condiments' That Can Make Coitus Even More...Delicious.” In it, I shouted out chocolate syrup; however, today, I’m gonna go with something that is a little less…predictable. Chile, we already know that cranberry sauce is gonna be sitting on somebody’s Thanksgiving table, and there’s a pretty good chance that a gingerbread house (or at least some gingersnaps) is going to be available over Christmas, so why not pick up some cranberry or gingerbread syrup?
Since cranberries and ginger are both considered to be aphrodisiacs, it can be a super sexy move to dab a bit of syrup on some of your favorite sex pressure points (and his).
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7. A Lil' “Sex Christmas Tree”
Whether you plan on putting a (real, right?) Christmas tree in your living room or not, again, in the spirit of the holiday, get a small artificial one for a nightstand or the top of your dresser in your bedroom. Then you can hang a few sex-related items like flavored condoms, Santa hat nipple pasties, sex position ornaments, edible penis wraps, and picture strips — and whatever else your freaky lil’ mind can think of!
8. Edible Bows
Red velvet lingerie is definitely a nice touch during the holiday season. And although whether men prefer lingerie or nudity is really up to which guy you ask, I can’t think of one who is gonna have a problem with you wrapping your birthday suit up in a bow — especially if it’s an edible one. Yep, I actually came across a YouTube video (here) that walks you through how to make one of those. And although it’s not something that you can do in 10 minutes or less, I do think the end result will make it far worth the time investment. Don’t you?
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9. Pumpkin-Flavored Whipped Cream
Another sex condiment that I shared in the article that I referred to earlier is whipped cream. Since pumpkins are currently in season, acknowledge them by bringing some pumpkin-flavored whipped cream into the mix. You can always purchase the kind that’s already made (like this brand here), or you can even make a batch of your own (via a recipe like this here). That way, you can customize how sweet and thick you want the cream to be in order to stand up to your…plans. #wink
10. Bourbon Eggnog
Eggnog is definitely a signature holiday drink, and a few years back, I shouted it out in the article “12 Traditional Christmas Items That Are Low-Key Aphrodisiacs Too.” Why? Well, the vanilla, honey, and nutmeg that’s in it are all considered to be aphrodisiacs. If you add a bit of bourbon (which is a type of whiskey) to it, that can help to calm your nerves, which can ultimately make climaxing so much easier to do. A recipe for homemade bourbon eggnog is right here.
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11. Peppermint Chocolate Bath Bombs
Peppermint and chocolate will also be in abundance around the holidays, and, as life would have it, they are considered to be aphrodisiacs,too. So, whether you plan on soaking in the bath to prepare for what the night has to offer or you and your boo thang are going to hang out in the tub together (even better!), why not throw a few DIY peppermint chocolate bath bombs (recipe here) in there? The scent alone will make you want to turn each other into your desserts after you get up outta there.
12. Sexy Homemade Holiday Lip Balm
Even though I am well aware of the fact that some people hate to kiss (check out “Umm, What's Up With These People Who Hate Kissing?”), I also know that science says that kissing can help you find your ideal partner, and it can definitely make your sexual experiences better (check out “Wanna Climax More? KISS MORE.”). And although things like shea butter and batana oil (a personal favorite of mine) can give you some super smooth lips (after exfoliating them, of course), kissing will be even more scrumptious if you’ve got some flavored lip balm on.
A peppermint lip balm recipe is here (add a bit of Stevia, honey, or date sugar for flavoring), a chocolate lip balm recipe is here, and a vanilla lip balm recipe is here. Your man won’t be able to get enough of you — all holiday season long! ‘Tis the season, chile.
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