With every day being uncertain during this COVID-19 crisis, our minds are beginning to fantasize about once again enjoying the daily aspects of what was once normal life. From restaurants to shopping malls, we can only reminisce on the good times we had outdoors. For the last two months, we've been cooking our own meals and FaceTime-ing our loved ones which was fun for a while but getting back to in-person interactions sounds like heaven on earth. While we've been stuck inside daydreaming of what life will soon be, we've also had the opportunity to learn more about ourselves and how we'd like to conquer the world moving forward.
We asked seven of our favorite stylish ladies what they plan to wear on their first day out of lockdown and what they've learned about themselves during their downtime. Finally getting dressed with somewhere to go, get into these looks for major post-quarantine inspiration.
Aniya Morinia, @aniyahmorinia
Photo courtesy of Aniya Morinia
Where are you spending your time during quarantine?
I spent quarantine in the off-campus apartment in my college town, Gainesville, FL. My lease is up in August so I've been living here until I move back to my hometown, Kissimmee, FL with my family.
What's the first place you're getting dressed for and why?
The first place I'm getting dressed for is brunch! I love the ambiance of a restaurant that serves brunch and can't wait to wear an outfit to match the vibes. At this point, I have cooked everything that I know how to cook a million times and I'm getting tired of eating my own meals every single day. I'm looking forward to someone setting a delicious meal in front of me at a restaurant.
What's one thing you've discovered about yourself during this downtime?
I discovered that I am much more creative than I give myself credit for. I've been working with what I have at home to create content for Instagram and it's been so fun! I've also been trying to personalize and curate my living space now that I am spending more time here. Instagram and magazines have been my main source of inspiration during this time and I can't wait to keep creating and see the transformations I make.
What do you look forward to the most, post-quarantine?
I am looking forward to starting a new lifestyle post-quarantine. Staying inside has opened my eyes to how unexpected life can be and I want to start saying "yes" to more life experiences! My college experience ended prematurely so I am looking forward to reuniting with my friends and potentially traveling with them.
Kandace Banks, @_kandace
Photo courtesy of Kandace Banks
Where are you spending your time during quarantine?
I quarantined back home in Indiana because New York's population is just too dense for me. There's tons of space here and it's very peaceful.
What's the first place you're getting dressed for and why?
The first place I'm getting dressed for is a meet up with friends. I know we're going to plan something; a brunch, dinner, drinks, going to someone's party, literally anything. I just want to show some skin and wear an actual dress. Something I haven't had a reason to wear in months.
What's one thing you've discovered about yourself during this downtime?
Being back home, I've had some time to read my old journals from college. It made me realize I'm on the path I've wanted to be on all along, I've just lost some of the hunger. So I definitely plan on being more focused when things open back up. If my younger self could give myself any advice now, it would be to have no fear.
What do you look forward to the most, post-quarantine?
I really look forward to moving freely once things open back up. My soul is craving travel, being in water, eating exotic food in the sun, drinking something delicious, listening to a live band. I really can't wait to travel whenever I want. I've been listening to music in foreign languages to give me that vibe until then.
Chinyere Adogu, @the_real_chi
Photo courtesy of Chinyere Adogu
Where are you spending your time during quarantine?
I spent most of my time during quarantine at home. I took walks around the neighborhood ever so often for fresh air and went to the grocery store weekly. I did spend a significant amount of time on Amazon as well.
What's the first place you're getting dressed for and why?
The first place I'm getting dressed for is for brunch on a rooftop. I need a massive amount of food in front of me with the sun shining down on me. Brunching has always been a happy place for me, it involves two of my favorite things, which are dressing up and eating food. I definitely miss it!
What's one thing you've discovered about yourself during this downtime?
I've discovered that I have to plan out daily activities, big or small, that will bring me some sort of joy. This is a great way for me to maintain a positive and happy energy around myself during this downtime.
What do you look forward to the most, post-quarantine?
Honestly, traveling! I've canceled so many planned trips within these last few months. I'm someone who loves to constantly move around, so I cannot wait to be able to freely do that again.
Avry Joiner, @thenxcvintage
Photo courtesy of Avry
Where are you spending your time during quarantine?
My quarantine time was spent at my home in Charlotte, NC. I spent so much time here, I did a little redecorating to brighten it up. I'm really pleased with how it all came out.
What's the first place you're getting dressed for and why?
Oh, man! I'll probably just get cute to go to the thrift store because I miss it so much and I have an online vintage shop that needs new vintage pieces. My Saturday routine was brunch then thrift, and I miss it so much!
What's one thing you've discovered about yourself during this downtime?
I'm not sure I discovered anything new about myself but I will say I've enjoyed this downtime SO much! I am constantly on the go. It felt good to spend all day watching Netflix or playing dress up for hours and not rushing from one place to another. My life is always hectic and I'm always on the go. This period of downtime was just what I needed for my creative juices to flow.
What do you look forward to the most, post-quarantine?
I think I've mentioned this already but THRIFTING! Also, seeing my entire family. We've missed birthdays and holidays so we have so much to make up for.
Raven Smith, @ravey_baby
Photo courtesy of Raven
Where are you spending your time during quarantine?
I've been in New Orleans staying at my mom's.
What's the first place you're getting dressed for and why?
Brunch! Bottomless mimosas and hookah with the girls!
What's one thing you've discovered about yourself during this downtime?
That I'm the only person holding myself back. Having this extra time to focus on things that I put off was me only being in my own head. Go for it!
What do you look forward to the most, post-quarantine?
Celebrating my 30th birthday, the proper way!
Lauren Nicole Campbell, @laurennicolefk
Photo courtesy of Lauren Nicole Campbell
Where are you spending your time during quarantine?
I'm spending my time at home with my mother. It's just the two of us.
What's the first place you're getting dressed for and why?
I've found getting dressed puts me in the mindset to get on with whatever I've got planned for the day. So, I'm either getting dressed to go into my office or to work from the dining table.
What's one thing you've discovered about yourself during this downtime?
I loved the hustle and bustle of London life more than I thought. Albeit, I'm sure when everything resumes, I'll miss the quietness of being home, there's a thrill that comes with rush hour, running from one meeting on one side of London to the next meeting on the other side of it. Who knew I could miss that as much as I am?! But most of all, I've learnt I'm rather content with my own company.
What do you look forward to the most, post-quarantine?
Laughing with friends, going to bottomless brunches, being able to hug my family and fly back home to Barbados, whenever I want. I will never take those things for granted again.
Tyla-Lauren Gilmore, @tylauren
Photo courtesy of Tyla-Lauren
Where are you spending your time during quarantine?
My new apartment in NJ!
What's the first place you're getting dressed for and why?
A potluck get-together to see all my best friends at my new place!
What's one thing you've discovered about yourself during this downtime?
I'm super self-motivating; it was so hard to stay positive and productive but I managed to do a lot more than I thought during quarantine.
What do you look forward to the most, post-quarantine?
Enjoying the weather, going to the gym, seeing my friends and family whenever I want and going out to eat!
Featured image courtesy of Lauren Nicole Campbell
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Kayla Nicole says she wore a dress that was once worn by Braxton herself for the Halloween costume. “It’s not a secret Toni is more on the petite side. I’m obsessed with all 5’2” of her,” she tells xoNecole via email. “But I’m 5’10'' and not missing any meals, honey, so to my surprise, when I got the dress and it actually fit, I knew it was destiny.”
The episode was the perfect way for the multihyphenate to take control of her own narrative. By addressing the viral moment on her own platform, she was able to stir the conversation and keep the focus on her adoration for Braxton, an artist she says she grew up listening to and who still makes her most-played playlist every year. Elsewhere, she likely would’ve received questions about whether or not the costume was a subliminal aimed at her ex-boyfriend and his pop star fiancée. “I think that people will try to project their own narratives, right?” she said, hinting at this in the episode. “But, for me personally – I think it’s very important to say this in this moment – I’m not in the business of tearing other women down. I’m in the business of celebrating them.”
Kayla Nicole is among xoNecole’s It Girl 100 Class of 2025, powered by SheaMoisture, recognized in the Viral Voices category for her work in media and the trends she sets on our timelines, all while prioritizing her own mental and physical health. As she puts it: “Yes, I’m curating conversations on my podcast The Pre-Game, and cultivating community with my wellness brand Tribe Therepē.”
Despite being the frequent topic of conversation online, Kayla Nicole says she’s learning to take advantage of her growing social media platform without becoming consumed by it. “I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out,” she says.
On The Pre-Game, which launched earlier this year, she has positioned herself as listeners “homegirl.” “There’s definitely a delicate dance between being genuine and oversharing, and I’ve had to learn that the hard way. Now I share from a place of reflection, not reaction,” she says. “If it can help someone feel seen or less alone, I’ll talk about it within reason. But I’ve certainly learned to protect parts of my life that I cherish most. I share what serves connection but doesn’t cost me peace.
"I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out."
Credit: Malcolm Roberson
Throughout each episode, she sips a cocktail and addresses trending topics (even when they involve herself). It’s a platform the Pepperdine University alumnus has been preparing to have since she graduated with a degree in broadcast journalism, with a concentration in political science.
“I just knew I was going to end up on a local news network at the head anchor table, breaking high speed chases, and tossing it to the weather girl,” she says. Instead, she ended up working as an assistant at TMZ before covering sports as a freelance reporter. (She’s said she didn’t work for ESPN, despite previous reports saying otherwise.) The Pre-Game combines her love for pop culture and sports in a way that once felt inaccessible to her in traditional media.
She’s not just a podcaster, though. When she’s not behind the mic, taking acting classes or making her New York Fashion Week debut, Kayla Nicole is also busy elevating her wellness brand Tribe Therepē, where she shares her workouts and the workout equipment that helps her look chic while staying fit. She says the brand will add apparel to its line up in early 2026.
“Tribe Therepē has evolved into exactly what I have always envisioned. A community of women who care about being fit not just for the aesthetic, but for their mental and emotional well-being too. It’s grounded. It’s feminine. It’s strong,” she says. “And honestly, it's a reflection of where I am in my life right now. I feel so damn good - mentally, emotionally, and physically. And I am grateful to be in a space where I can pour that love and light back into the community that continues to pour into me.”
Tap into the full It Girl 100 Class of 2025 and meet all the women changing game this year and beyond. See the full list here.
Featured image by Malcolm Roberson
Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
___
Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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