Whether it be your job, a relationship, your finances, or estranged members of your family, it's important to know that a breakup doesn't have to lead to a breakdown. Sometimes separation is the key to your breakthrough. Just ask Fantasia Taylor, who says that she had to lose everything to gain the life of her dreams. The "Free Yourself" singer recently sat down with the hosts of ESSENCE's Yes! Girl Podcast, where she revealed that her tears were just as real as her testimony.
From a very public extramarital affair to an accidental overdose, Fantasia says that at this point, she has no choice but to be grateful for her experiences. While many would have seen these situations as a reason to give up, this 35-year-old mother-of-two says her pain was a catalyst in pushing her forward. She explained:
"I put myself in a lot of those situations where we become victims and ask, 'God, why? Why don't you do this? Why did you?' And He's like, 'Why didn't you do it? I tried to show you.' I had to go through everything that I went through to get to this day. So I say to God, 'I see what you did, and I didn't listen, so you allowed me to go through that. You snatched everything away from me to help me realize a lot.' He works like that."
Saying goodbye to people, places, and opportunities that don't serve us can be difficult. But it's important to remember that every loss ain't really a loss, you feel me? Fantasia's story reminds us that every L we take is an opportunity to level up our perspective.
With newfound confidence and renewed faith, Fantasia credits much of her growth to her husband of four years, Kendall Taylor.
"I will have to say kudos to him because when he came into my life, he brought out a Fantasia that I didn't even know was there. It started with my whole transition and my fasting time, because if I didn't sit back and take the time to realize who I was and let go of some stuff, then I would have lost him. I say that a lot to women. They'll walk up to me, and they'll be like, 'I want that same thing. How do you get it?' And I feel like you have to sit back and realize who you are first. How can you know what type of man you need if you don't know who you are?"
Real recognize real, and some of these characters in your inbox ain't looking too familiar are they, sis?
It's probably because courtship hit different when you know yourself, and Fantasia agrees with me. The singer wants us to know that we attract what we are, and she had to know exactly who she was before finding her best potential partner. She told the podcast hosts:
"You have to get in that place where you realize who you are and what you want. You know what I mean? I believe that's when it'll come. When he came into my life, I realized the queen I was because of the king that he is."
To read the full interview, click below!
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Featured image by @tasiasworld.
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Those myths that you keep telling yourself, and believe to be true may be what's holding you back, boo. Most of the time you're thinking these things on a subconscious level and may not even realize the damage that's being done. But once you gain clarity and call out your limiting beliefs for what they are, you'll finally be able to break free and reach new levels financially.
Let's dig into a few myths that have a direct impact on your money and are keeping you BROKE.
1. “Money is the root of all evil.”
Nah, this right here is a straight-up LIE! The truth is this: the LOVE OF MONEY is the root of all evil. When you think that money is the root of all evil, you're limiting yourself from keeping money, as well as receiving more of it. Without even knowing it, you might be scared of going after opportunities that will get you to the money.
Think about it. How can money be evil? Money is simply a resource that we control. Instead of believing and saying that money is the root of all evil, replace it with this supporting belief instead:
"Money is a resource and a means to do good and live well."
2. "I'm broke."
Broke is a mindset, boo. Your financial situation is shaped by how you think about money, which influences how you manage your money. Guess what? If you keep crying that you're broke, you're going to remain that way. All you are doing is reinforcing that limiting belief into the universe and your actions aren't gonna line up with what you need to do in order to get ahead.
It's imperative that you get a grip on this way of thinking and behaving, or else you'll never be able to break the cycle. I challenge you to think more in terms of abundance and believing that you can be wealthy. Are you up for the challenge?
3. "I can afford it."
You say that you can afford that pair of shoes and then turn around and realize that you don't even have enough money for gas the morning after. You can't just look at your checking account balance in the moment and think that everything is all good. Trust me, I've been there. This is where having a clear-cut, written budget comes in handy.
A budget is really just a spending/savings plan. It's a strategic system that lets you know how much money is coming in and going out every month. In reality, a budget can:
- Help you understand your financial situation and whether you can really afford something or not.
- Help you save for the things you want and do more of what you enjoy.
- Help you avoid getting caught short by bills you can't pay.
- Help you escape the paycheck-to-paycheck life.
4. "I deserve to treat myself."
GiphyHow many "treats" do you need, sis? If you really sit down and keep it 100 with yourself, do you really deserve those so-called treats? Are you taking care of your responsibilities like you should be? Instead of buying things that you don't need (with money you don't have) and labeling them as a "treat," you should be treating yourself by investing in your future and saving some coins.
If you spend all of the money that you earn instead of saving and investing it, you will never create the financial abundance that you do desire to have.
Here's a tip: Try putting both your short-term and long-term savings on auto-pilot so you don't even notice the money that you could be missing. When you don't have to look at it, you aren't tempted by any "excess" that you might have.
5. "I need to make more money and then I'll be better with my finances."
If you can't manage the little that you have now, what makes you think that you're gonna be able to manage more money? The more money you make, the more you're gonna spend if you don't get those habits in check early on. You're going to go right back to complaining about your finances and crying that you're still broke and in need of even more money. You'll never be satisfied. There will never be enough money. Remember, there are former millionaires who are struggling out here in these streets because they wanted to live a "fake fancy" lifestyle and ball out of control.
Start by being content with the income that you currently have and handling it with better care. Learn the ins and outs of sound financial management now, so that when you're finally blessed with more, you'll be able to manage it with ease.
I challenge you to start thinking better, which will ultimately lead to you doing better. It's time to prioritize your finances in a way that you haven't done before if you want to level up this year. It's time to activate your discipline. It's time to finally do something different.
Make the commitment to yourself and decide that absolutely nothing's gonna stand in your way of breaking that broke mentality.
What’s better than being in love? Building an empire while doing it. Watch Making Cents to see how real couples turn their money dreams into money moves.
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Originally published on January 5, 2018