Me? I’m an ambivert. That means a lot of stuff (check out “What Exactly Is An Ambivert? How Can You Tell If You Are One?”); however, as it relates to this article specifically, it means that I personally don’t care what time of the year it is — my favorite place to be is inside of my home. I actually try to make it the kind of sanctuary space where that will always be the case.
That doesn’t mean I don’t get excited whenever my favorite time of year rolls around, though; that’s when I will definitely be out in somebody’s store picking up a few things that will make my living space extra warm and cozy.
Things like what? Things like the 15 items and ideas that I’m about to share with you — just in case, like me, you plan on doing a lot of kickin’ it…in your bed or on your couch without any reservation or apology. I mean, it is fall, after all.
1. Go with Neutral Tones
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I can’t believe that it’s almost been two years since my townhouse basically blew up. There, my home décor was shades of blues, browns, and white. My new spot is variations of green, gray, brown, and blue. Clearly, neutrals — the mixing of primary, secondary, and tertiary colors — are my thing, and I don’t apologize for it. Neutrals create a warmth to a space. Neutrals are easy to layer with some of your favorite brighter hues. And, if you have a boo thang, he will probably feel more comfortable in a home that’s decorated with neutral shades.
So, whether it’s some new throw pillows for your bed or couch or an ottoman that you’ve been eyeing to store some of your summer clothes that you’re in the process of putting away, pick up something in off-white, caramel, coffee, or navy color. It’ll immediately bring more autumn energy into your living space.
2. Get Yourself a Cable Knit Blanket
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There’s honestly no telling how many blankets I own. Some are lightweight for the spring and summer seasons, while others are heavier for fall and winter. There’s just something about curling up underneath a blanket while watching a movie that is a top-tier experience. This year, if you don’t already own a cable knit blanket, indulge yourself and get one. Now, I’ll be honest with you — some of the quality ones aren’t the cheapest; however, if you go to Etsy (one of my favorite go-tos for just about…everything), you should be able to find one that works well within your budget. As a bonus, many of them are handmade. Just go to the site and put “cable knit blankets” in the search field.
3. DIY a Fabric Spray
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Okay, so why didn’t any of y’all put me on to DIVA Glamorous Wash before now? What in the world?! I actually found out from an influencer who I like a lot (Christiana is what she goes by on YouTube). Man, that stuff smells amazing and is also a pretty effective fabric cleaner. I don’t use it all of the time, though, only because the scent is so strong, and sometimes, I want my clothes and other items to smell like something different — and that’s where fabric spray comes in. I really like this as a “make your home smell amazing” option because you can customize the spray to smell however you’d like it to.
That’s cool, not just when it comes to customizing scents based on the seasons (some fall scents include vanilla, pumpkin, apple-cinnamon, cranberry, and sandalwood) but controlling what kind of all-natural ingredients that you want to add to your favorite essential oils. That said, a super easy fabric spray recipe that can go on your bedding, living room furniture, and beyond is located here.
4. Also, Get a Ladder-Style Shelf
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There’s something about mantels and bookcases that can also cozy up a space. I think a part of it is connected to whatever you put in and/or on them. If you like this idea but your living quarters are kinda tight, how about a ladder-style shelf? Since it’s vertical instead of horizontal, it can easily fit anywhere from your bedroom to your bathroom. Then, you can add your favorite books, knick-knacks, a plant, and a couple of soy candles to cozy the space right on up. The cool thing about this option is you should be able to find one for between $40-60 dollars (like this one here), in a variety of colors, on sites like Amazon.
5. Own Some “Portable” Fireplaces
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Speaking of visually warming up your spot with a “furniture accessory,” what if you’ve always wanted a fireplace, but your spot doesn’t have one? Something that I personally find to be a visually stunning alternative is to get yourself a fireplace surround (which is basically the frame of a fireplace), then put some tall candles and/or plants into the inside of it. If you also arrange a couple of pictures on top of it, it’ll easily be one of the favorite things about your house for both you and your guests. Are they cheap? No (you’ll probably have to cough up about three hundred bucks for a good one). Are they worth the investment? Absolutely.
Oh, and speaking of portable fireplaces, if you want to have your only lil’ mini bonfire this fall or winter season, I recently purchased a friend of mine some portable campfires (I’m telling you, Etsy is the ish!). They are the cutest tiny tins that you can light up and make s’mores or whatever else you want to do — whether inside or out. He adored them, and I’ll definitely be getting more. You can check out the ones that I purchased (that are made from organic soy and are totally reusable) here.
6. Invest in a Customized Whiskey Maker
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Something else that I got for that same friend was a customized whiskey maker. No, not one of those cocktail-making machines (that are actually pretty nice) that help you to be your own bartender at home. I mean those cute little sets that let you customize various flavors of whiskey by adding different herbs so that you can infuse them into some bourbon. Since fall tends to be the signature hot toddy season, why not have a set of your own in tow? The one I got was under forty bucks. You can check it out here.
7. Put Some Scented Pine Cones into a Basket
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Ain’t it wild how you can find yourself “mimicking” things from your childhood without initially realizing it? I used to wonder why I always had an affinity for pine cones; then, I remembered that my mother used to add them to the home aesthetic. I’m telling you, whether you purchase them already scented or you decide to create a scent and add them to some pine cones on your own (arts and crafts stores typically carry them, by the way), if you put a few into a wicker basket, they will have whatever room you place them in smelling wonderful, easily, throughout the entire holiday season. Plus, they will add a bit of nature to the inside of your house as well.
8. Get a Slipcover for Your Couch
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Have you been looking at your couch for the past six months like you want to toss it out of the window, but it’s just not in your budget to get a new one? Simple solution: a slipcover. You can totally change the look of your sofa without breaking the bank, and it’s just one more cost-effective way to switch up the look and feel of your home during this time of the year. The options are so vast that my two cents would be to put “couch slipcovers” in the search field of your favorite search engine to see which fabrics and designs tickle your fancy.
9. Install a Stained Glass Window
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Whether you want a bit more privacy or you simply want to get creative as far as window treatments go, hands down, one of the best ways to accomplish both missions is to purchase some stained glass window tint film (some companies call them “window clings”). They’re super inexpensive, relatively easy to install, can make a window look like authentic stained glass, and it’s pretty easy to remove as well, not to mention the fact that it makes it damn near impossible for people to look into the window once you add the film to it.
If you go to Amazon and put “stained glass window film” in the search field, you’ll see all kinds of options (design-wise) to choose from. A quick YouTube short can show you how to install the film yourself here.
10. Order Some Canvas Prints of Some of Your Favorite Pictures
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I grew up around some people who are world-renowned visual artists. A couple of them, I commissioned before they “hit it big”; others, I should’ve (le sigh). Anyway, until my budget says that I can afford one of their pieces, I am so into canvas prints. You can get a picture printed off that is damn near as big as half of one of your walls, and because it’s a literal canvas print, all you have to do is hang it. As I’m writing this, I’m looking at a Black print that I purchased digitally on Etsy that I blew up to what I think is 30” x 40”; it was less than sixty bucks. One of the best decisions I’ve ever made.
You can do the same with a print or some of your favorite pictures with some of your favorite people (black and white shots would probably look like sophisticated art, for real). The company that I went with is Canvas Champ (they were professional, affordable, and fast); there are plenty of other options online, though. Just put “canvas prints” in the search field to figure out which one will best suit your personal needs.
11. String Some Lights Somewhere
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Gone are the days when string lights were reserved only for Christmas trees. Personally, I’ve got a wall that has nothing but strings of fairy lights hanging from it, and I couldn’t be happier. Since it gets darker quicker during the fall season, that kind of makes us want to have softer/dimmer lighting, and fairy lights can provide that, especially if you want an “amplified version” of candlelight without the risk of you forgetting to blow your candles out. Hang them on the wall like I did, string them through your curtains and/or around your bedposts. I mean, you see the feature pic, right? Didn’t those fairy lights help to draw you right on in? Coziness on steroids, for sure.
12. Layer Some Throw Rugs
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I’ve always preferred hardwood floors over carpeted ones. That doesn’t mean I’m not good to throw down with a few throw rugs, though. On the practical tip, they can lower your heating bills because they provide what is known as “thermal resistance” (real talk). I also like the fact that they help to absorb noise. Visually, they can cozy up a space. If you’ve got kids or pets, rugs can make it safer for them to move about (as far as falling down is concerned, just make sure that you get a rug gripper to keep your rugs from moving all over the place so that they don’t trip on them). Plus, they’re easier and cheaper to clean than carpeted flooring, and you can swap out different ones to create a different feel and style whenever you want. Are you sold? Cool. When you gettin’ some then?
13. Consider Some Leather Accents
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If you’ve got hella bougie taste and your bank account doesn’t, something that you can do to make your home look more…let’s go with luxurious is to add some leather accents to it. Leather pillows. A leather round ottoman. A large leather basket. I recently stumbled upon some leather placements that I thought were pretty dope. What about a leather-wrapped vase for your favorite fall-season flowers? Listen, just like some expensive shoes can totally change the look and feel of a dress from Target, so can some leather accessories when it comes to your house.
14. Of Course, You Need Some Candles
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There probably won’t ever be a time when I’m writing a piece on how to improve the décor of your home (and honestly, the quality of your life, in my humble opinion) without bringing candles into the discourse. They create a warm feeling. They can be uber-romantic. Something about watching their flames flicker is very relaxing. And you can get scents that will make your entire house smell grand. Actually, one candle company is so into ‘em that they came up with 14 solid reasons to keep some candles in your home (you can read it here).
So, in the spirit of the autumn season, how about some autumn-themed soy (I’ll always say it: they burn cleaner and last longer) scented candles? Some of the same scents that I mentioned for the fabric spray you can find in candles too. Yeah, definitely, one of the most cost-effective ways to warm up a space is to add some candles to it.
15. Treat Yourself to a Down Comforter
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A top reason why you can’t go wrong with a down comforter is they can easily last you one to two decades (yes, literally). Hell, even a down alternative one can give you 10 good years if you take care of it properly. So, imagine how much longer you can get “mileage” out of that type of bedding if you swap two out twice a year (one for spring and summer and another for fall and winter)? See what I’m sayin’? Besides, down comforters are warm, super cozy, eco-friendly, and durable; and another word that’s used for them is “breathability.”
What that basically means is a down comforter is made out of the kind of material that allows your skin to literally…breathe. Ain’t nothin’ like a cozy bed to make you want to enjoy everything about this time of year — so treat yo’ self. As the temps drop, get some warmth indoors. The kind that you could customize to your very own liking. Enjoy!
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- 15 Décor Hacks That Can Help Your House To Welcome In The Fall Season ›
- 12 (Affordable) Ways To Make Your Bedroom More Tranquil & Beautiful ›
It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
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Alaska Wasn’t On My Bucket List, But My Glacier Adventure Made Me A Believer
We all have bucket list destinations at the top of our lists. I visited one of those at the top of 2024: Japan! But what happens when you get an opportunity to go someplace that wasn’t on it? For me, that was Alaska. Now, I’d submitted my short film to the Anchorage International Film Festival, genuinely thinking it would be a long shot to get in with a short film about fibroids and Black women’s health.
However, to my surprise, I received an email that read: “It’s with great excitement that we announce your film, Super High: A Period Piece, has been selected for the 24th Anchorage International Film Festival.” After looking at the flight distance from Atlanta to Anchorage—a solid 10 hours one way— I’d decided this would be one I wouldn’t attend.
That was until there was a follow-up email that shared that the festival was sponsoring two excursions for filmmakers: A Northern Lights Tour and A Glacier Hike.
With that, I knew I had to make the trip to the 49th state! I flew Delta, which offered the shortest layovers—just 50 minutes each way. For a more comfortable flight on the longer legs that were about six hours between my layover city and Anchorage, I upgraded to first class with an in-app discount for $256 (the regular price of a first-class ticket runs about $2,100), which was so worth it for additional space and service for the six-hour trek.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
"So What’s Alaska Like? Did You Have To Wear a Snowsuit? What’s the Food Like?"
These are among the major questions I’ve gotten. Anchorage reminds me less of a bustling major city and more of a small town with an easygoing feel. When I arrived, they’d just had snow a few days before, so it was cold, and the streets were slick. So, I was so happy I’d invested in a pair of snow boots. For my first few days, the locals said it was warm. Warm to them being 20s at night and mid-30s during the day.
However, by the time I left, fresh snow was on the ground, and temps were well into the single digits—and it felt like it. Oh, the sun doesn’t rise until 10:30 a.m., and it sets around 4 p.m. That was among the most challenging things to experience because I felt like I never really woke up. So, between the lack of sun and the four-hour time difference, I felt tired the whole time I was there.
As for food, I didn’t explore a ton because I was so cold. But I found two gems! First was Whiskey and Ramen. If you enjoy ramen and exceptional service, this is a must-visit. I’d make a trip back just for their Wagyu ramen and their special take on an old fashion!
And, for coffee, I thoroughly enjoyed That Feeling Co. The coffee was great, and being surrounded by plants helped to perk up my spirits.
The Northern Lights
Iceland is one of the most popular places to see the Northern Lights, so I was very excited to know that Alaska also gets to see the Aurora Borealis light show. Typically, many people visit Fairbanks to see them, but there are tours offered in Anchorage too! When prepping for the late-night tour, we’d heard that the night we were heading out to see the lights, the cloud coverage likely meant we wouldn’t be able to see them. Bummer. I know. So, we could sit the tour out or still try. But, in my mind, I was like, why would I come all the way to Alaska not to try?
So, at about 9:30 p.m., we piled into vans and headed out to chase the Northern Lights. We traveled about an hour and a half from Anchorage, and when we stepped out of the van, it was cold and pitch black. And unfortunately, after a couple of hours in the cold, those clouds in the sky never parted for us. I know that when we see the posts of people who do get to see Mother Nature do her thing, we don’t have all of the context of the science, which is Aurora Borealis.
Sometimes, the weather just doesn’t do what we earthlings would like, which can lead to disappointment. However, our guide did give a recommendation. When you book a trip to see the lights, give yourself four to five days to see them. Don’t bank on one day because, at the end of the day, this is science.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Now, On to the Glacier!
Just six hours after returning from the Northern Lights tour, we were up for the glacier tour because they were back-to-back! I was exhausted and so excited. If someone had told me I’d hike on a glacier, I would have given them a mean side-eye. I mean, where on earth does one climb a glacier? Let me share a few destinations with you, just in case you want to plan an icy adventure: Switzerland, Norway, Iceland, Chile, Argentina, and Alaska.
Aside from the fact the Matanuska Glacier is 22,000 years old, it’s the largest glacier accessible by car in the United States—27 miles long and four miles wide, making it one of the easier ones to see IRL. As a girlie with generalized anxiety disorder, I get anxious about doing this kind of thing because I know that to see these world wonders is usually a mountainous trek.
This one was two hours long, one-way, up snow-capped, windy, mountainous terrain. However, my therapist always reminds me to push myself to do what scares me (as long as it’s for a reason, of course). I held my breath for the journey there and back! And white-knuckled it from time to time, too.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Once we got there, we were surrounded by fresh, fluffy snow, and it was COLD! In the negative cold. I was thankful, I’d over-prepared. If you even go on a glacier tour, I recommend a few things: Balaclava, heavy-weight gloves, cashmere socks, snow boots, and lots of layers.
Here’s what I wore. My first layer was Ann Taylor leggings and a Wolford Turtleneck. Then, I layered a cashmere turtleneck and cashmere joggers. A COACH down vest, which I’d recommend anyone own just for winter, in general, because it’s SO warm! For my feet, I wore Ann Taylor cashmere socks (I love these because they’re affordable and so warm) and Adidas Adifom Superstar Winter Boot and topped all of that with a Brandon Blackwood ankle-length parka. I know BB is known for his accessories, but the brand’s outwear is truly amazing and worth the investment. After two hours on the ice, I felt great!
If you’re open to adventure travel, I highly recommend putting a glacier tour on your list of things to do. There are a few reasons. First, standing on an ice age-old massive piece of glacier was my 2024 version of touching some grass. I was reminded that I’m a speck on this spinning rock and need to spend more time grounded in that fact as I move through the world. I looked to the sky and thought of how proud my ancestors would be, even though I know they’d be telling me to get my butt home and off a dog on a glacier!
Secondly, I gained an ever-large appreciation for Mother Nature as I learned that glaciers are the world's largest reservoir of freshwater, containing around 69% of the world's freshwater. Again, another fact that helped me gain perspective. Lastly, it’s just fun and stunningly beautiful!
After this, I’m looking forward to my next cold-weather adventure! Iceland and Argentina are at the top of the list!
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Featured image courtesy of Bianca Lambert