I think that we all know, in theory, that no matter what we put on our hair, if we want to have a healthy head of it, we’ve got to care about what we put into our bodies as well. That’s because, in order for your strands to be strong and long (if that’s what you’re after), you’ve got to make sure that your hair follicles have the nutrients that they need — and that means making sure that your diet is full of vitamins and minerals that will nurture them.
Since we are knee-deep into fall at this point, let’s get into some foods that are both in season and proven to help your scalp, your follicles, your strands, and your hair goals.
1. Grapes
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Even though grapes are in the produce section year-round, you can definitely tell that they are in season right through here because of how big they are and how sweet they taste. Yeah, this is definitely the best time to put some grapes in the freezer and consume them after they’ve frozen. Anyway, as far as what their overall health benefits are, grapes are good for you because they’re a low-calorie snack that contains protein, fiber, copper (bookmark that), antioxidants, and vitamin K. Not only that, but if you’re looking for a fruit that will help to reduce your cholesterol and blood sugar levels, improve your mood and memory and even help to keep your bones strong, grapes will totally have your back.
And what can grapes do for your hair? Aside from the fact that their high concentration of copper can help to slow down premature graying (check out “This Is How To Naturally Treat Premature Greying”) and certain properties in grapes can also decrease the irritation that is associated with dandruff, the antioxidants in grapes will help to keep free radicals from damaging your hair cells. Not only that, but the vitamin E in grapes will support a healthy scalp and help prevent hair loss, while the melatonin in grapes will help you get a good night’s rest so that your hair cells are able to rejuvenate themselves.
Fall Grape Recipe: The “Autumn Twilight” Grape & Rosemary Cocktail
2. Pumpkin
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Pumpkin is packed with protein, fiber, and a ton of vitamin A. It’s also a good vitamin B-sourced food, and if you need some extra vitamin C or potassium in your system, it can help in those departments as well. Something that I like about this particular fruit (it contains seeds, so…yeah, it’s a fruit) is it’s great for your immunity when it comes to helping to keep colds and the flu at bay. Also, thanks to all of the vitamin A that it has, pumpkins are great at keeping your eyes in a healthy state. Plus, it fights off the kind of bacteria that can ultimately lead to heart disease and certain cancers.
Hair-wise, pumpkin is outstanding because the vitamin C in it will help increase the collagen that will help to prevent hair breakage. Also, some studies reveal that pumpkin (especially pumpkin seeds) helps to block elevated levels of testosterone that can sometimes lead to hair loss. Not to mention the fact that vitamin A also helps strengthen your hair follicles too.
Fall Pumpkin Recipe: Pumpkin Sandwich Rolls
3. Butternut Squash
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It is my personal opinion that if you’ve never had butternut squash soup before, you are truly missing out — well, if your palette likes things that have a bit of a sweet yet nutty taste, that is. Although there are different kinds of winter squash, butternut is certainly one of the most popular. Protein, fiber, an overwhelming amount of vitamin A (a whopping 457 percent of the Reference Daily Intake), various forms of vitamin B, vitamin C, magnesium, manganese, potassium — geeze, no wonder butternut squash is considered to be a superfood!
Again, the vitamin A that’s in it is good for your eye and bone health while the vitamin C that it contains helps to reduce bodily inflammation and boost immunity. Something else that’s worth taking note of with this vegetable is, if you happen to be diabetic, it’s actually a sweet treat that has antidiabetic properties in it. How awesome is that?
There is also vitamin E in butternut squash; that’s dope because that helps with scalp health as far as slowing down premature aging and increasing blood circulation. Vitamin E is also super beneficial when it comes to moisturizing your hair shaft, which always reduces breakage. Plus, vitamin B is a nutrient that both strengthens and moisturizes your hair.
Butternut Squash Fall Recipe:Slow-Cooker Vegan Lentil Chili
4. Brussels Sprouts
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I don’t know about y’all, but I somewhat have a fickle relationship with Brussels sprouts. The reason why I say that is I like them (most) based on how they’re prepared (and who prepares them). I do try to get them into my system around this time of year, though, because they do the body good. As another food that is high in protein, fiber, and antioxidants, it’s a great food for vegetarians and vegans who may be looking for a protein source that doesn’t contain meat.
It’s also a good veggie when it comes to getting some vitamin C and K into your body. Aside from that, Brussels sprouts are really healthy because they help to manage blood sugar levels, reduce inflammation, fill you up with anti-cancer compounds, regulate your blood pressure, and they can also help you to maintain a healthy gut as well.
When it comes to hair growth and retention, vitamin K gets slept on far more than it should. For one thing, it helps to prevent scalp calcification (which is basically when too much calcium gets into your hair follicles and slows down blood flow and nutrients to them), so that you have less of a chance of dealing with brittle hair or even hair loss.
Brussels Sprouts Fall Recipe:Air Fryer Brussels Sprouts
5. Cranberries
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Want a snack that is low in calories and high in hydration? Look no further than a handful (or two) of cranberries. They’ve got fiber and 87 percent water in them. They’re also a fruit that contains vitamins A, C, E, K, and copper, along with a variety of plant compounds. Although it’s probably best known for being a natural way to treat a UTI (urinary tract infection), cranberries are also good for you when it comes to lowering your cholesterol and blood pressure levels, maintaining digestion, and helping to prevent kidney stones and even cavities.
Thanks to the copper that is in cranberries, they also can help to prevent premature graying, and, as far as hair length goes, their antioxidants can help to strengthen your hair follicles. Another cool thing about cranberries is they’re a rich source of potassium, and since hair loss has been linked to potassium deficiency — well, there ya go.
Cranberries Fall Recipe:Cranberry Apple Crisp
6. Cauliflower
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I’m pretty sure we all can agree that if there’s a food that is a vegan favorite, it would have to be cauliflower. Perhaps not so much because of how it tastes when it’s in its rawest form but because it’s been “upcycled” into so many other things like cauliflower rice and even cauliflower pizza crust. In the health benefits department, you can feel good about consuming this vegetable because it’s a good source of fiber, multiple forms of vitamin B, vitamin C, and antioxidants. It’s also a food that helps to fight heart disease, can be of great support if you’re looking to lose weight and the choline that’s in it is great for your metabolism and your cell membranes.
Cauliflower has also been proven to reduce oxidative stress and free radicals, help your body absorb iron better (being low in iron can lead to hair breakage and hair loss), and contain sulfur (which helps to strengthen hair) as well as silicon (which also reduces hair loss), so yes, it’s a great veggie to consider if gaining inches is a top priority for you right now.
Cauliflower Fall Recipe:Garlic-Parmesan Roasted Cauliflower
7. Pears
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There’s nothing like a juicy pear in the middle of the day. Every time you bite into one, you can feel good about it, too, because pears are high in fiber and a good source of copper and potassium. Pears also contain plant compounds that can protect your heart and reduce your chances of being diagnosed with cancer and diabetes. Plus, pears are able to fill your system up with good bacteria and they are great at relieving constipation, too.
Since pears also have vitamin C in them, it can’t be said enough that your locks will benefit from them because vitamin C maintains scalp health, adds strength and shine, boosts collagen, which increases elasticity and even makes your hair shinier.
Pear Fall Recipe:Caramelized Pear French Toast Bake
8. Pomegranates
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If you’re looking to get an unbelievable amount of fiber and protein from one fruit, pomegranates got you. As a bonus, they’re a good source of potassium, folate, vitamin C, and antioxidants. If you happen to deal with some type of chronic inflammation, pomegranates can help to bring you relief. They also have antimicrobial properties that can help you to maintain your oral health. Some other impressive things to take note of, as far as pomegranates are concerned, are they help to protect your brain cells, they can increase endurance for you (as far as workouts and even sex are concerned) and they can improve the level of prostate health in men.
Your tresses will enjoy this fall fruit because the antioxidants that are in it will strengthen your hair follicles as well as increase blood circulation to your scalp so that those follicles are able to receive the nutrients that they need. They are also able to reduce the oxidative stress in your system that can break down collagen which could make your hair brittle and lack flexibility (which can cause breakage).
Pomegranate Fall Recipe:Pomegranate-Glazed Salmon with Oranges, Olives, and Herbs
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Now that you know some autumn-season foods that are able to help your hair thrive, make sure to get a few of them. They’re delicious, they’re healthy and they’re just what your tresses need — from your scalp to your ends. Enjoy!
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Whether you're planning to meet a certain financial or fitness goal, or you're simply trying to maintain and build on the progress you made this year, having something to look forward to is always a good look. Setting actual goals, according to research, actually leads to more success than just playing things by ear. So here are a few to get you started, sis:
(Disclaimer: Not everything is for everyone, so do like my Granny always says: "Eat the meat. Spit out the bone." Take on five out of the 40 and focus on that for the remainder of the year, or do them all. Either way, this is just to get you started.)
40 Ways To End The Year Strong and Inspired
Money Moves
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1. Increase your retirement (or other savings/investment) contributions by 1%.
Experts have found that you could be leaving money on the table by not upping your contributions when you can.
2. Cancel two to five subscriptions.
You could be missing hundreds, even thousands, of dollars a year due to sneaky price hikes and "updates."
3. Create a "fun" in a high-yield savings account.
This is especially important if you struggle with the dreaded b-word (budget) and will make next year's efforts a lot less intimidating. Even if it's $10 a month, do it.
4. Put on your big-girl panties, and set up automatic transfers and payments for at least one bill.
It reduces the stress of managing bills, lessens the chance of a missed payment---and the fees that come with that---and there can be cost savings for doing so.
5. Invest in a cleaner or housekeeping service.
Bosses who value their time (and mental health) invest their dollars into areas where the time they'd spend doing those tasks themselves could be better used to focus on other money-making projects. (And yes, rest is part of that.) Get a housekeeper, sis, or drop off that laundry, even if it's once per month.
6. Donate to a charity.
Beyond the tax benefits, it's a win-win for the greater good of communities you care about.
7. Review your insurance policies and negotiate a better rate (or move on) before their end dates.
Experts often agree this is a small but mighty step to take each year, especially since insurance rates are competitive, you could be spending more money than you need to (or not enough) and your insurance rates can affect your mortgage payments.
8. Call your loan provider and refinance.
As interest rates fall, “millions of borrowers may be able to refinance and get more affordable payments. As interest rates eased down to 6.5%, about 2.5 million borrowers could already refinance and save at least 75 basis points (0.75%) on their interest rate,” the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau reports. You can also refinance student and other types of loans.
9. Stop buying individual items and stock up via going bulk.
Research has found that, among 30 common products, buying in bulk could save you 27% compared with buying in lower quantities. Water, paper products, and baby products like diapers, toiletries, and garbage bags are the top items where people see the most cost-effectiveness. (This has been a lifesaver for me—children, large family, or not—especially when it comes to toothpaste, deodorant, toilet paper, and feminine hygiene products, saving stress, time, and money.)
10. Go cash-only for the holidays.
If you set smart goals and stick to limits on things like gifts, going out to eat, or groceries, you'll see the benefits of this. Cash-stuffing is one method recommended, but something as simple as taking a $10 bill out for lunch, disabling that card for an hour, and leaving your card in a safe place at the office can give you that mindset jump start to see how far you can take your money without the need to splurge.
Love And Romance
11. Say "no."
There are clear mental and physical health benefits to saying no including the setting of healthy boundaries, creating time and energy for other self-care activities, and protecting yourself from physically harmful situations (i.e. unprotected sex or abuse). Just say it, clearly and simply, when you need to.
12. Set a fun, free, adults-only date night for once a week or twice a month with your spouse.
If busy, high-profile folk have touted the success of this, even you can make the time for quality time with your partner. And it's even better when it costs nothing. The best connections are made doing something chill, challenging, or outside the usual dinner-and-a-movie date. Play a game that allows you to reconnect, take a walk in your neighborhood to chat and laugh, or try a little erotic chocolate/edible liquid/paint episode a la Mea Culpa.
13. Go out with Mr. or Ms. "Not My Type."
I love my man, but if I were waiting out for my "type" at the time, we wouldn't be celebrating seven (going on eight) years together. Sometimes having strict, unrealistic expectations for a spouse (especially related to things like height, physical features, or career path) is what's keeping you alone and lonely.
Take the pressure off and explore all your options. I'm not telling you to stop popping the balloon on the guy who earns $20,000 less than you if that's a hard no that Jesus himself told you to skip. I'm asking you to explore other options and see what else God might have out there for your love journey.
14. Immediately apologize and pray together.
I've learned that always being "right" isn't always ideal when you truly care about someone and you're in a relationship for the long haul. Defaulting to an apology when necessary, even when things aren't 100% resolved, is a good way to prioritize peace and save your energy for more worthwhile battles. Research has even supported the benefits of apologies in relationships, and how couples married for five or more years do it often.
15. Get a Rose and discover true self-love.
Do I really have to explain this? You've gotta know what satisfies you, and how better to figure that out than to practice self-love in the bed by yourself? You can also try this with a partner, but as a woman who got on this train very much later in my sexual activity journey. I have a lot more learning to do on my own, and even in a satisfying relationship, I like to find out new things about myself, by myself.
Figure out what you're into, watch what you want to watch, and read what you want to read to define pleasure for yourself. There's a freedom and empowering element there especially if you're used to prioritizing pleasing your partner.
16. Be direct and have the "money talk" with bae.
Money issues are one of the leading causes of divorce, so you need to have those conversations before you even think about marrying someone. And true, nobody can predict the future so you won't be able to avoid some challenges altogether, however, talking with your potential spouse about how they view money, their spending habits, and the pain points in terms of their approach to money management can at least give you a glimpse into what's in store if you do walk down the aisle, move in with them, or decide to share a bank account/business/child with them.
17. Invest in the "paid" version of that dating app.
I know plenty of successful, married folk who did this and met "the one" as a result. Let's be honest: The free version is for playing around. I had a lot of fun with my "free" profile back in the day, trust me. Upgrade that photo, profile, and package, and see if the quality of your dating adventures changes when you're serious about finding a true partner. Dating coaches and matchmakers cosign this.
18. Solo travel to meet that long-distance connection.
Sometimes, your perfect match isn't within 100 miles of you, and that's okay. Make it an adventure, enjoy the memories, and book that ticket. I met my man this way and it's been a whirlwind escape ever since. If you're not comfortable traveling solo, travel or (network to plan travel) with a group via Facebook.
Career And Business
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19. Schedule coffee or virtual meetups with smart people from your graduating class, previous employer, or current employer.
I have gotten many freelance opportunities by doing this. It's as simple as connecting and offering value (or simply learning how you can better equip yourself to do so.) It's also a great way to expand your network, spark new friendships, or find out about new job opportunities.
20. Invest in a well-made suit.
I don't care what industry you're in, a suit says "power," and it's not as old-school or out-of-style as you'd think. Plus the whole experience of looking for a new one (or getting one tailored) is fun and affirming. Try these options. I swear, anytime I wear a blazer, I'm treated like a celebrity or boss, especially when traveling. I was once upgraded to first-class wearing a yellow blazer outfit, and the airline professional literally said, "You look like somebody important. Here you go."
21. Volunteer for a worthwhile project or cause that's important to your company.
If you're overworked and underappreciated, skip this one, but if you truly have the time, love what you do, and want to advance, this move is clutch. Volunteering for extra projects got me where I am today in media because I had foresight, and knew that was the only way at the time to leverage relationships, and I was able to challenge myself to learn skills that 20 years later are still bankable. That VP you can't get a meeting with will be at that gala your company is planning, so join that committee, sis.
22. Write down why you deserve a raise and ask for it in your next one-on-one.
Gather those receipts (ie sales increase numbers, KPIs met, deals closed, people acquired via recruitment, the impact of systems updates, or other tangible success metrics) and ask for that raise before the first or second-quarter budgets are being finalized.
23. Instead of quitting, write down your exit plan.
While revenge quitting is set to be a thing next year (and maybe you're among those who will be leading the trend), try the better boss move and quit with a real plan.
24. Start automatically separating that estimated self-employed quarterly tax estimate.
If you have side hustles (or you're collecting 1099 income,) baby, you do not want to neglect those quarter tax payments. Talk to a professional, do your research, and set up automatic transfers to an account specifically for paying these at the appropriate due dates.
25. Sign up for a free one- to 11-week course related to your industry—or the industry you want to be in next year.
Institutions like Harvard University and platforms like Coursera offer free courses that can enhance your skills. You can also invest in certificate courses with accredited colleges as well as tech training.
26. Hit "Easy Apply" for 10 dream jobs listed on LinkedIn.
While you shouldn't solely rely on this when actively job-seeking, using this convenient LinkedIn option is a great way to get into the habit of applying for positions. And if you're already employed, you should still be "dating" other employers if you're looking to make a move in the next six months. Keep your interview skills sharp, practice toughening up for the "nos," and get a bit of an ego boost in the process.
Self-Care And Wellness
27. Pre-schedule three month's worth of massages.
Oftentimes this is cost-effective since some spas offer deals for multiple bookings. Also, it makes an act of self-care deliberate and important, not an option. When you get that reminder call, you'll know it's real.
28. Fire that therapist and try another one.
Cultural competency in mental health support is one major problem that can hinder Black women from even bothering with therapy. And who wants the added stress of spending multiple, paid sessions explaining why something is a microaggression? Cut the cord and move on to try someone else, either via a Black women therapists channel or recommendations from others.
29. Join a small group at church.
Bedside service ain't gonna cut it and neither is going to the usual Sunday service. Join a smaller group and upgrade your efforts to connect, network, and elevate spiritually. Even if virtually, take a step to dig a bit deeper with more targeted Bible study and discussions.
30. Say no, even to loved ones.
This is on here twice, for a reason. Saying no is the simplest, most powerful micro-action you can take today to make 2025 better. No explanations. No guilt. Say no.
31. Choose one "luxury" beauty product for skincare and stick to it.
This was trending big on social, especially for millennials hitting their 40s. There's just something so freeing about not giving in to every trend and sticking to the basics that work, especially when there are quality, healthy ingredients involved. Put those orders on auto-renew.
32. Sign up for a new sport or fitness class just for fun, not for results.
It's great to be on a weight-loss or weight-lifting journey, but try something just for the fun of it. Switch things up with a couple of these fitness activities.
33. Book a staycation.
Leave the passport at home and explore a nearby community or another town in your state. There's so much enrichment in your own backyard right here in the U.S., and you don't even have to break the bank.
34. Pre-schedule your mammograms, Pap smear, and peri-menopause checkups for next year.
Take control of your health by pre-scheduling essential appointments like mammograms, Pap smears, and peri-menopause check-ups for 2025. Prioritizing these screenings early ensures you stay on top of your wellness and make time for self-care in the new year.
35. Cut off support of beauty and wellness professionals whose customer service is below standard.
This is another one that many Black women have been vocal about—from unrealistic pre-appointment requirements, to booking fees, to long waits, to unsavory in-salon experiences. Spot the red flags early, and just stop accommodating foolishness. Support salons or experienced stylists who are kind, have proper systems in place and value your time.
36. Schedule five to 10-minute moments of silence on your calendar.
Again, wellness is not optional, and if it's not on my calendar, it's not official. Sit quietly. Pray. Meditate. Or do nothing. The benefits of silent moments are almost endless.
37. Download a meditation app.
If you've found that meditation is difficult to schedule or to even start, an app can help. Try this, this, or this one, and take that step to embrace something new to enhance your wellness routine. If you're tired of downloading apps, create a playlist for meditation via Amazon Music or Spotify and schedule a reminder to do it once a day or week.
38. Invest in a healthy meal prep or delivery service.
Time is emotionally expensive, so save as much of it as possible. Getting into meal prep to keep to your goals is a great way to save time, stress, and effort. The health benefits of meal prepping have also been proven via research.
39. Create a positive playlist on Spotify, Amazon Music, YouTube, or other streaming platform.
It can be podcasts, music, affirmations, or somatic sounds. It's a game-changer. You can even set an alarm to wake you up to start your day with the positive playlist. Not into creating your own? There are plenty to choose from with a quick search.
40. Set up reminders for Alexa (Siri or other AI) to remind you, "You are loved," and "You are okay."
This simple effort can boost your endorphins and remind you that you're indeed, not alone, and you will be okay, regardless. To set mine up, I simply commanded, "Alexa, remind me everyday 'Jesus loves me,'" and like clockwork she does. She almost scared the ish out of me one day when I'd forgotten the reminder was active, but it was the reminder I needed when anxiety had gotten the best of me that week.
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And just why would a plant that contains dung (wild, right?) be associated with intimacy? Well, two things that mistletoe symbolizes are vivacity and fertility — and since kissing is oftentimes a precursor to foreplay which then leads to sex…there you have it.
Although you may not have known any of this until just now, if you’re not currently in a serious relationship and yet you do happen to have a mistletoe hanging somewhere in your house and/or you’ve got plans to put some somewhere on your body over the next several days (check out “Mistletoe Around Your Waist (And Other Christmas-Themed Sex Ideas)”) — this article was written with you in mind.
Why the Holidays Are a Prime Time for Casual Sex
Why is that? Well, since people reportedly have more sex during the holiday season (more on why in a bit), I just wanted to make sure that before you let the presence of mistletoe (and hormones) overtake you as you take that text from an ex or respond to that DM from some month-long-correspondence-exchange guy that you stop to consider what you may be getting yourself into…beyond just (possibly) a “’tis the season” orgasm. Or two.
Never Forget What “Casual” Means
GiphyAs long as I am able to speak on casual sex, I will forever profess that it continues to be one of the greatest oxymorons of our time — to me. When you stop to consider that Scripturally, sex was designed to bond married couples (I Corinthians 6:16-20-Message), that babies can be made from sex, and that there are hormones during the act of sex that can cause you to bond to someone in a way that nothing else can (whether you’re close to them or not) — I don’t know why anyone would want to look at sex from a casual space; especially since casual means things like apathetic, careless, without serious intention, without emotional intimacy and indifferent.
Shoot, even some of the most promiscuous guys I know say that sex is better when they have some sort of emotional bond with their partner. So, if you’re about to consider involving yourself with someone sexually on a casual level over the next several days, please take a moment to really ponder what that means (in spite of how much culture tries to downplay it); then decide if “casual” is what you’re after — and if it’s what you are truly deserving of.
Keep the Holiday Season in Its Proper Perspective
GiphyRemember how I said in the intro that research has revealed that sex tends to experience an uptick right around this time of the year? There are several reasons why that is the case. For one thing, cuffing season is upon us and we all know that is when cold weather will make (many of) us look for a cuddle buddy (by the way, if you’ve never seen Big Jahh’sCuddle Seasonseries before, it’s pretty funny and is currently on Tubi). Another reason why sex happens more is because people are taking time off which means that they have more time for, umm, lay activities. Another reason? Nostalgia, chile.
As you’re taking walks down memory lane, it’s real easy to think about that romantic ice skating date you had with a guy five years ago or when you and your ex-boyfriend binge-watched Christmas movies all weekend one year. Suddenly, when one of those fellas pop up on your phone, you’re strongly considering recreating those moments. Be careful. I’ve got a friend right now who is in one of the dumbest relationships EVER (for the billionth time, I might add) — and it’s pretty much all because she doesn’t know how to leave the past in the past. She doesn’t know how to let nostalgia…go.
Oh, and one more reason worth mentioning for why holiday sex is so rampant is because science actually says that the fall and winter seasons are the best time for copulation (check out “Did You Know Fall & Winter Are The Best Times To Have Sex?”). Whew.
What all of this is basically saying is the holiday season sets up an ideal atmosphere for sex, including casual sex. However, just because it puts you in the “feels” that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t use your brain. Bottom line, is having someone to cuddle up with worth it if they are just gonna go ghost on you before Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, all because there was nothing truly substantial to keep them there in the first place? Just something to think about.
We Tend to Be Riskier During the Holiday Season. Be Careful.
GiphyYou know, I once read that DUI offenders find themselves drinking a whopping 33 percent more during the holiday season, and Americans overall drink twice as much as they usually do right through here. And you know what? It should be no shocker that when you are inebriated, it not only increases your chances of engaging in sex with partners you may not have chosen with a sober mind, but it also increases your chances of participating in unprotected sex too (a part of the reason why it does for us is that alcohol also elevates our testosterone levels which, yes, makes us hornier).
And since STIs/STDs continue to be on the rise and we’re about to be in an administration that doesn’t seem to be big fans of readily available forms of birth control — yeah, definitely watch how much alcohol you consume and always (and I do mean ALWAYS) keep some condoms at your personal disposal.
After Weddings, Marriage. After the Holidays, “Real Life.”
GiphySometimes, when I’m in a coaching session with a single woman who seems to be almost obsessed with the idea of getting married, something that I will say to her is, “Please remember that you are a BRIDE for a day and a WIFE for the rest of the days following your wedding.” Meaning, marriage isn’t one nonstop party where most of the focus is on you and everything that you want is at your disposal for the rest of your entire life.
And you know what? Along these same lines, after all of the décor, music, and sentimentality of the holiday season is over, real life sets back in and you’re going to have to deal with whatever decisions you made during the holidays — good, bad, or otherwise. So, if you’re considering engaging in some casual sex, in part, because those Hallmark holiday movies have gotten to you, please remember that movies are scripted and reality checks can be quite costly…when you don’t prepare for them.
Always Remember, YOUR BODY IS A GIFT
GiphyConsidering we are so close to Christmas, of course, I had to find some kind of pun to end this with. And honestly, when I think of the main definition of "gift" (“something given voluntarily without payment in return, as to show favor toward someone, honor an occasion, or make a gesture of assistance; present”), I do think in this culture of transactional dating that everyone is doing (check out “Guess What? Dating Was Never Supposed To Be Transactional.”) that people really should ponder what a gift actually is. SMDH. Is your time really a gift — or is it more like a bribe (or spider’s web)?
However, when I speak of a gift for this last point, I mean that when someone is able to be with you sexually, it should be seen as a privilege because you should be seen as a blessing…starting with how you see yourself. It’s a lot harder for someone to process you in that manner if 1) they barely know you; 2) some real conversations aren’t had on the front end of coitus, and 3) you’re not being honest with yourself about what you want and need beyond sexual stimulation. Remember, you are a gift. Gifts are special.
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So, this holiday season, if casual sex has some real potential to be a part of your memories this year, please take everything that I just said into account. Be wise. Be safe. And be mature enough to acknowledge that sex has consequences. Then move accordingly in front of that roaring fire or tinseled Christmas tree of yours. #wink
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