Yeah buddy. I'm willing to bet a week's worth of groceries that you did not wake up this morning and think to yourself, "You know what would be cool to read about on xoNecole today? Hymens." But you know how we get down. If it's something that pertains to women, we are going to do our darnedest to write about it. And since hymens are something that we haven't covered yet, we thought—hell, why not?
Anyway, here are 10 things that I found to be interesting about hymens. If nothing else, chalk it up to being your "something new" for the day.
1. A Hymen Is a “Fringy Membrane”
Let's begin with what the hymen actually is. It's basically the membrane that marks where the external part of our genitalia (vulva) stops and the internal part of it (vagina) starts. Aside from menstrual blood, it's very difficult for anything to (comfortably) enter or exit the vagina when the hymen is whole. It's also worth mentioning that the hymen is kind of like a fringe of tissue, that's located approximately 1-2 cm inside of the vagina; one that semi-loosely covers the vaginal opening instead of being a "lid" that is fully intact over the vagina. Some researchers say that the hymen is simply leftover tissue that came about during fetal development. One more thing—it's the same color as the inside of your vagina, making it close to impossible to see or even feel it.
2. The Hymen Comes from the Root of the Greek God of Marriage Whose Name Is Also Hymen
While a lot of scientists claim that the hymen serves no purpose, a part of the reason why it's associated with virginity and religion is because the Greek god of marriage also has the same name. Do with that lil' coincidence what you will.
3. Cherries (Hymens) Don’t “Pop”, They Stretch
Although a newborn female baby starts off with a hymen that is rather thick, they do tend to thin out over time. And while the phrase "pop the cherry" is a popular one, the reality is that many women do not bleed the first time they have sex. The reason why is because their hymen is usually already super thinned out or "dislodged" by a tampon or some form of athletic activity by then (which is why a partner cannot feel the hymen if they penetrate you with their fingers or their penis).
Now what can happen is you might experience some slight bloodshed if your partner happens to stretch or tear the skin that comprises of your vaginal opening. That has more to do with the entry to your vaginal walls and less to do with your actual hymen, though.
4. Virginity Exams Are a Joke
Most of us can recall the T.I. ridiculousness last year when he talked about going with his daughter to the doctor to make sure she was still a virgin. I had that happen to me once; parents, don't do that. It's violating as hell and it's not something that we ever really "get over". Anyway, not only can this kind of doctor visit damage your relationship with your daughter, it's pretty much a total waste of time too. As we already discussed, a separated, dislodged or even outstretched hymen is not a clear indication that someone is no longer a virgin. Matter of fact, some women aren't even born with hymens, so basically, vaginal exams are a colossal waste of time.
5. You Can Get Pregnant with an Unstretched Hymen and Without a Penis Entering You
Something that's always really important to keep in mind is sperm can swim like nobody's business. Because of that, yes you can get pregnant with your hymen still in place and yes, you can also get pregnant without experiencing any penile penetration. If sperm happens to come into contact with your labia at all while you are ovulating, while the chances are slim, sperm can spill into your vagina and fertilize one of your eggs. A good thing to know if you're one of those "abstinent dry humping" kind of folks.
6. Hymenal Tags Could Be the Cause of Sexual Discomfort
Once the hymen stretches out or tears, there are oftentimes skin tags that remain known as hymenal tags. They aren't uncommon and are typically extremely small. However, sometimes the friction of your panties, masturbation or intercourse can irritate these tags, causing them to swell, making sex uncomfortable (if not flat-out painful) as a direct result. Sex, tampon use or any activity that involves straddling can cause these types of tags. A pelvic exam is pretty much the only way to detect them and, in many cases, with the help of cold compresses and ibuprofen, they heal in their own time without any type of medical intervention.
7. It Is Possible for the Hymen to Close Up Over Time
I know someone who lied to her husband and told him that she was a virgin when she got married when she was absolutely not. I think about her every time I read about women who sign up for hymenoplasty which consists of either repairing a torn hymen or even putting one there that never existed so they can bleed the first time that you have sex. After all of the myths that we just debunked, for the life of me, I don't know why anyone would spend the money or put the energy into going that route (healthy relationships are based on honesty and trust and the right man can handle your sexual past).
Besides, if you haven't had sex in a while (a few years not a couple of months) or you're a postmenopausal woman who has never had a vaginal birth before, it is quite possible for your hymen to "tighten back up" anyway. It's not because it grew back. It's actually because, since nothing is there to stretch it out, it healed and repaired itself. Free of charge.
8. A Hymen Can Actually Withstand Childbirth
As with labias and vaginas in general, no two hymens are the same. Not only that but some are super fragile and dissolve very easily while others are very thick and strong. So strong in fact that some are even able to remain in place, even after a woman has a vaginal birth (this revelation came, thanks to the bookVirgin: The Untouched History by Hanne Blank).
9. If Sex Hurts, Don’t Automatically Think Your Hymen Has Something to Do with It
Whether it's your first time having sex, you are "returning to sex" after a long hiatus or you're currently with a new partner, while sex can sometimes be a little uncomfortable (based on the size of your partner, the positions you are in or how tense you are), it really shouldn't be all that painful. If that's what's happening, especially on a continual basis, don't chalk that up to your hymen showing out on you. Consider other possibilities like you're not wet enough, you've got a urinary tract infection (or some other underlying medical condition), you're allergic to the lube or condoms that you're using or, your muscles aren't as relaxed as they need to be. Again, remember that your hymen is usually not super thick once you're at the point of having sex, so if the experience doesn't feel all that great, it's best to attribute what is going on with something other than it.
10. Certain Animals Have Hymens Too
This last one, I'm just sharing because it's random as hell. Apparently, not only do women have hymens but so do certain animals. Horses, whales, elephants, moles and hyenas are just some of the animals that have them. Some scientists believe that whales have them to keep water from creeping in after mating while others say that mammal hymens help to keep bacteria out of the vagina.
Yeah, hymens are a bit of an enigma, no doubt. Still, your Creator made sure they existed for a purpose. If nothing else, they are one more thing that makes a woman a woman. That alone is a reason to be thankful for them. A moment of silence for all hymens, please…thank you.
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7 Reasons You Should TOTALLY Be In Love With Your Clitoral Hood
15 Things I Bet You Didn't Know About Your Own Vagina
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It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Alistair Berg/Getty ImagesStep 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Getty ImagesStep 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
DMP/ Getty ImagesStep 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
However, to my surprise, I received an email that read: “It’s with great excitement that we announce your film, Super High: A Period Piece, has been selected for the 24th Anchorage International Film Festival.” After looking at the flight distance from Atlanta to Anchorage—a solid 10 hours one way— I’d decided this would be one I wouldn’t attend.
That was until there was a follow-up email that shared that the festival was sponsoring two excursions for filmmakers: A Northern Lights Tour and A Glacier Hike.
With that, I knew I had to make the trip to the 49th state! I flew Delta, which offered the shortest layovers—just 50 minutes each way. For a more comfortable flight on the longer legs that were about six hours between my layover city and Anchorage, I upgraded to first class with an in-app discount for $256 (the regular price of a first-class ticket runs about $2,100), which was so worth it for additional space and service for the six-hour trek.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
"So What’s Alaska Like? Did You Have To Wear a Snowsuit? What’s the Food Like?"
These are among the major questions I’ve gotten. Anchorage reminds me less of a bustling major city and more of a small town with an easygoing feel. When I arrived, they’d just had snow a few days before, so it was cold, and the streets were slick. So, I was so happy I’d invested in a pair of snow boots. For my first few days, the locals said it was warm. Warm to them being 20s at night and mid-30s during the day.
However, by the time I left, fresh snow was on the ground, and temps were well into the single digits—and it felt like it. Oh, the sun doesn’t rise until 10:30 a.m., and it sets around 4 p.m. That was among the most challenging things to experience because I felt like I never really woke up. So, between the lack of sun and the four-hour time difference, I felt tired the whole time I was there.
As for food, I didn’t explore a ton because I was so cold. But I found two gems! First was Whiskey and Ramen. If you enjoy ramen and exceptional service, this is a must-visit. I’d make a trip back just for their Wagyu ramen and their special take on an old fashion!
And, for coffee, I thoroughly enjoyed That Feeling Co. The coffee was great, and being surrounded by plants helped to perk up my spirits.
The Northern Lights
Iceland is one of the most popular places to see the Northern Lights, so I was very excited to know that Alaska also gets to see the Aurora Borealis light show. Typically, many people visit Fairbanks to see them, but there are tours offered in Anchorage too! When prepping for the late-night tour, we’d heard that the night we were heading out to see the lights, the cloud coverage likely meant we wouldn’t be able to see them. Bummer. I know. So, we could sit the tour out or still try. But, in my mind, I was like, why would I come all the way to Alaska not to try?
So, at about 9:30 p.m., we piled into vans and headed out to chase the Northern Lights. We traveled about an hour and a half from Anchorage, and when we stepped out of the van, it was cold and pitch black. And unfortunately, after a couple of hours in the cold, those clouds in the sky never parted for us. I know that when we see the posts of people who do get to see Mother Nature do her thing, we don’t have all of the context of the science, which is Aurora Borealis.
Sometimes, the weather just doesn’t do what we earthlings would like, which can lead to disappointment. However, our guide did give a recommendation. When you book a trip to see the lights, give yourself four to five days to see them. Don’t bank on one day because, at the end of the day, this is science.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Now, On to the Glacier!
Just six hours after returning from the Northern Lights tour, we were up for the glacier tour because they were back-to-back! I was exhausted and so excited. If someone had told me I’d hike on a glacier, I would have given them a mean side-eye. I mean, where on earth does one climb a glacier? Let me share a few destinations with you, just in case you want to plan an icy adventure: Switzerland, Norway, Iceland, Chile, Argentina, and Alaska.
Aside from the fact the Matanuska Glacier is 22,000 years old, it’s the largest glacier accessible by car in the United States—27 miles long and four miles wide, making it one of the easier ones to see IRL. As a girlie with generalized anxiety disorder, I get anxious about doing this kind of thing because I know that to see these world wonders is usually a mountainous trek.
This one was two hours long, one-way, up snow-capped, windy, mountainous terrain. However, my therapist always reminds me to push myself to do what scares me (as long as it’s for a reason, of course). I held my breath for the journey there and back! And white-knuckled it from time to time, too.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Once we got there, we were surrounded by fresh, fluffy snow, and it was COLD! In the negative cold. I was thankful, I’d over-prepared. If you even go on a glacier tour, I recommend a few things: Balaclava, heavy-weight gloves, cashmere socks, snow boots, and lots of layers.
Here’s what I wore. My first layer was Ann Taylor leggings and a Wolford Turtleneck. Then, I layered a cashmere turtleneck and cashmere joggers. A COACH down vest, which I’d recommend anyone own just for winter, in general, because it’s SO warm! For my feet, I wore Ann Taylor cashmere socks (I love these because they’re affordable and so warm) and Adidas Adifom Superstar Winter Boot and topped all of that with a Brandon Blackwood ankle-length parka. I know BB is known for his accessories, but the brand’s outwear is truly amazing and worth the investment. After two hours on the ice, I felt great!
If you’re open to adventure travel, I highly recommend putting a glacier tour on your list of things to do. There are a few reasons. First, standing on an ice age-old massive piece of glacier was my 2024 version of touching some grass. I was reminded that I’m a speck on this spinning rock and need to spend more time grounded in that fact as I move through the world. I looked to the sky and thought of how proud my ancestors would be, even though I know they’d be telling me to get my butt home and off a dog on a glacier!
Secondly, I gained an ever-large appreciation for Mother Nature as I learned that glaciers are the world's largest reservoir of freshwater, containing around 69% of the world's freshwater. Again, another fact that helped me gain perspective. Lastly, it’s just fun and stunningly beautiful!
After this, I’m looking forward to my next cold-weather adventure! Iceland and Argentina are at the top of the list!
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Featured image courtesy of Bianca Lambert