Ever since my late fiancé pulled out a pair of clippers during my second year at college, my hair has pretty much been some variation of short. If it wasn't a fade, it was a TWA with a mild texturizer in it, if it wasn't that, it was some sort of mini Frohawk. But around 18 months ago, I took my clippers and shaved my head bald in the hopes of starting anew and actually getting a little length. Let me just say from personal experience that if you ever want to learn a few lessons in patience, commitment, and consistency, don't only attempt to grow your hair out, attempt doing it in its natural state. WHEW-HEE.
As I've been in the process of figuring out what works for me (Jamaican Mango & Lime Rosemary Castor Oil) and what doesn't (wetting it all of the time), there are some essential oils that are truly my tresses best friends.
So if, like me, you're trying to make this natural thing happen in a really BIG way, I'm here to tell you that if you stock up on the following oils (and mix them in with a carrier oil like sweet almond, coconut, olive, grapeseed or avocado)—you will notice a healthier scalp, stronger hair and (what I'm personally after right now) a good amount of length retention too. Ready?
7 Essential Oils Your Natural Hair Needs
1.Lavender
In my humble opinion, every woman should have at least one bottle of lavender oil in her possession. Health-wise, it calms your nervous system, relieves headaches, heals acne, induces sleep, and, if you apply it to your abdomen during your cycle, it can make your cramps more tolerable too.
As far as your hair goes, it's the kind of oil that stimulates hair growth. Also, because of its powerful antimicrobial properties, lavender oil also reduces scalp inflammation while treating dandruff (and lice) too.
Hair Regrowth Tip: Mix ½ teaspoon of lavender oil with ½ teaspoon of rosemary and five drops of grapeseed oil. Let the oil combination heat in the microwave for five seconds and then massage your scalp with the solution every other night. It's a great way to pamper your scalp, stimulate your hair follicles, and also heal your scalp if you happen to have alopecia.
2.Rosemary
A lot of people sleep on rosemary oil, but they shouldn't. It does everything from improving brain function and alleviating stress to reducing joint inflammation and increasing blood circulation. It's actually the oil's ability to help in the blood circulation department that makes it an awesome hair growth potion.
The more blood that flows to your scalp, the more nutrients your hair follicles are able to receive and the faster your hair will grow over time. Also, if you happen to struggle with patches of hair loss, rubbing some rosemary over those areas can heal them within a matter of 4-6 months.
Hair Mask Tip: Crack one egg. Then add to it one teaspoon of raw honey, one teaspoon of olive oil, and five drops of rosemary oil. Use a small whisk to blend everything together and then apply it to your freshly-washed hair. Let it sit on your hair and scalp for about 30 minutes, then rinse with lukewarm water first, cool water second (to seal your cuticles). Your hair will instantly feel much softer.
3.Peppermint
Neither one of us has the time to get into all of what peppermint oil can do. But just to give you a brief rundown—peppermint oil relieves muscle pain, treats seasonal allergies (because it acts as an expectorant), increases workout performance, protects skin from sun damage, alleviates headaches, freshens bad breath, and effectively treats irritable bowel syndrome too.
Your hair and scalp will love this oil because (thanks to the menthol that's in it) it fights the yeast the causes dandruff, nourishes damaged tresses, and it even makes hair thicker.
Hair Conditioner Tip: Add 4-5 drops of the oil into your conditioner. Let the conditioner sit on your hair and scalp for 20 minutes before rinsing and styling as usual. You should notice less dandruff and thicker hair within a couple of months (tops).
4.Thyme
This is another kind of oil that's well worth the investment. Thyme essential oil is a cicatrizant which is a fancy word that means it promotes the healing of scars. Thanks to the antibacterial and antifungal properties that are in thyme, it also can boost your immune system. Plus, the carminative properties in this oil reduce gas while its expectorant and antispasmodic properties can help to speed up the symptoms that are associated with a cold or the flu.
It's a great oil for natural hair because it's another one that promotes hair growth. There are even studies to support that if it's combined with grapeseed oil, it can reduce the symptoms associated with alopecia areata after about seven months.
Hair Growth Tip: If you mix 10 drops of thyme essential oil, one tablespoon of raw honey, and ½ cup of raw apple cider vinegar together in a plastic spray bottle and spray it on your hair and scalp daily, not only will it stimulate hair growth, it will soothe your itchy scalp and clear up dandruff as well.
5.Ylang Ylang
It might not be the most common essential oil on the market, but don't let that stop you from picking up some. Ylang Ylang (pronounced EE-lang EE-lang) contains properties that make it an antiseptic, aphrodisiac, and sedative all in one! If you're feeling a little depressed, you've got high blood pressure or you're looking for the kind of oil that will give your libido a bit of a boost, Ylang Ylang's got your back. Word on the street is that it's even used to treat arthritis and pelvic inflammatory disease.
How can it help your natural hair? For one thing, with regular use, it can help to reduce hair fall. It's also a great way to treat thinning tresses. Also, if you suffer from chronic scalp dryness, Ylang Ylang can moisturize your scalp without clogging up your follicles in the process.
Hair Spritz Tip: Add five drops of Ylang Ylang and ½ teaspoon of vegetable glycerin to a bottle that is filled with distilled water. Spray your hair throughout the day. It serves as a wonderful humectant spritz.
6.Ginger
Ginger oil has the reputation for being the "gut-friendly oil"; that's because it's able to soothe motion sickness, nausea, diarrhea, stomach aches, and vomiting. It's also the kind of oil that kills bacteria, reduces inflammation, and strengthens the heart. Thanks to all of the antioxidants that are in ginger oil, it can fight free radicals in the body. And, it's another oil that increases sexual desire (it even helps to treat erectile dysfunction).
The antioxidants and nutrients in this spicy oil make it another one that increases blood circulation to the scalp. And, if your hair is dry and brittle, it can make it much softer after just one application.
Scalp Massage Tip: Add six drops of ginger essential oil to three tablespoons of organic coconut oil. Pop the combination into the microwave for five seconds and massage your scalp before going to bed. It will help to heal your scalp and restore hair loss too.
7.Clary Sage
Clary Sage is a flowering herb that has a great reputation for reducing stress and also treating menstrual and menopause symptoms. If you rub the oil directly onto your lower abdomen, it will decrease the intensity of your cramps. As far as menopause goes, the sclareol that's in it mimics the estrogen. This results in fewer mood swings and hot flashes.
If you're looking for the kind of essential oil that not only stimulates hair growth but also balances out the oils on your scalp, fights dandruff, and helps to keep your hair shiny, clary sage will do it for you. It's also known for helping to balance out the hormones that could lead to excessive hair shedding.
Hair Thickening Tip: Mix 25 drops of rosemary, clary sage, and cedarwood (it's another oil that promotes hair growth) to three ounces of grapeseed oil. Put it in a glass bottle, shake it well, and massage it onto clean damp hair. Let the mixture sit for 25 minutes, then rinse and style as usual. It will condition your hair giving it more natural elasticity too. All that you need for long, healthy NATURAL hair!
Featured image by Getty Images.
Related Articles:
How To Make Your Own Infused Oils for Living Your Best Life - Read More
These Herbs Will Help You Get Your Chakras All The Way Together - Read More
7 Herbs To Get You Through The Winter Season - Read More
The 7 Supplements That TOTALLY Changed My Life - Read More
- Here's Why You Should Include Rice Water In Your Beauty Routine ... ›
- 9 All-Natural Essentials That Need To Be In Your Skincare Routine ... ›
- Hair Growth: Natural Ways To Make Your Hair Grow Faster - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Do Vitamins For Hair Growth Work? - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- 9 Lesser-Known Oils and Herbs for Glowing, Healthy Skin - xoNecole ›
- 4 Essential Oils for Natural Hair Health - ToBNatural ›
- Top 15 Of The Best Essential Oils For Hair Growth - UpNature ›
- Essential Oils: Why are they essential for hair growth? – NaturAll Club ›
- The 7 Best Essential Oils for Hair ›
- The Best Essential Oils for Hair + How to Use Them | Hello Glow ›
- Essential Oils For Hair ›
- 10 Essential Oils for Hair Growth and Health: What to Use and How ... ›
- Essential Oils For Natural Hair | CurlyNikki | Natural Hair Care ›
- Top 10 Essential Oils for Natural Hair & How to Use - The Miracle of ... ›
It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
Yara Shahidi Shares Her Formula For Manifesting The Career Of Her Dreams
Yara Shahidi is a walking testimony of what it looks like to live out your wildest dreams, and she has managed to do it all in the harsh limelight of Hollywood without selling her soul. From acting and producing to hosting The Optimist Project podcast with SiriusXM to being a full-time college student at Harvard, now graduate, the 24-year-old has built a career that inspires while staying true to her values.
But how does she balance such a demanding yet "well-rounded" life while continuing to manifest new opportunities?
In a recent episode of The School of Greatness podcast with Lewis Howes, Yara opened up about her unique formula that has been instrumental to her success: following her curiosity. When asked how she manifests things in her life, Yara explained to the host, “There are many different ways. For some of the bigger things, it really is kinda getting downloads and moments of like, ‘Oh, I think that’s next.’”
She added, “Chasing curiosity means that my purpose is constantly unfolding in front of me. All I have to do is pay attention.” She described these intuitive “downloads” as waves of excitement or curiosity, deeper than that, as moments that spark her interest and give her clues about what to pursue next.
"Chasing curiosity means that my purpose is constantly unfolding in front of me. All I have to do is pay attention."
“A lot of what I think I’m interested in tackling comes from a wave of curiosity,” she said. “Like, for some reason, this is grabbing my attention, and I really couldn’t tell you why.” For Yara, those seemingly random sparks often turn into something deeper and more meaningful for the Bloom actress. She even recalled her podcast The Optimist Project flourishing as a result of a seed planted in her mind as a result of those waves of curiosity.
Whether it’s exploring new roles in her career or partnerships in the world of fashion and endorsements, her method of following the lead of those curiosities has led to incredible results.
One story Yara shared illustrated the power of curiosity-driven manifestation. Seemingly out of nowhere, she wrote down every endorsement deal she thought of having, not as a goal-oriented thing, but more so just writing down on a whim different brands that came to her head as a result of the sparks she is often led by.
Two years later, she realized she and her team had accomplished every single one. “It truly starts as this vision board,” she explained as she recounted the power of her and her team’s alignment on their curiosities. By letting her curiosity guide her, she’s been able to align those visions with the right opportunities. “What do we see?” she asks herself and her team, emphasizing the importance of shared alignment and intention in calling in the right opportunities for her life.
Curiosity is more than just a passing feeling for Yara, in fact, it’s a practice. From her TED Talk on the subject to her daily approach to life, she’s made it clear that tuning into what sparks joy and excitement is her formula for success. She noted that the curiosities are the true start of it all and the analytics or the “how” of achieving the goal comes later.
For Yara, it’s simple: let curiosity lead and trust the path to reveal itself.
Her journey reminds us that curiosity is often the key to uncovering our true purpose. By paying attention to what excites us, we can create a life that aligns with our values and dreams. As Yara’s story shows, following our curiosity might just be the first step toward manifesting the career and life we’ve always imagined.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Cindy Ord/Getty Images