Ever since my late fiancé pulled out a pair of clippers during my second year at college, my hair has pretty much been some variation of short. If it wasn't a fade, it was a TWA with a mild texturizer in it, if it wasn't that, it was some sort of mini Frohawk. But around 18 months ago, I took my clippers and shaved my head bald in the hopes of starting anew and actually getting a little length. Let me just say from personal experience that if you ever want to learn a few lessons in patience, commitment, and consistency, don't only attempt to grow your hair out, attempt doing it in its natural state. WHEW-HEE.
As I've been in the process of figuring out what works for me (Jamaican Mango & Lime Rosemary Castor Oil) and what doesn't (wetting it all of the time), there are some essential oils that are truly my tresses best friends.
So if, like me, you're trying to make this natural thing happen in a really BIG way, I'm here to tell you that if you stock up on the following oils (and mix them in with a carrier oil like sweet almond, coconut, olive, grapeseed or avocado)—you will notice a healthier scalp, stronger hair and (what I'm personally after right now) a good amount of length retention too. Ready?
7 Essential Oils Your Natural Hair Needs
1.Lavender
In my humble opinion, every woman should have at least one bottle of lavender oil in her possession. Health-wise, it calms your nervous system, relieves headaches, heals acne, induces sleep, and, if you apply it to your abdomen during your cycle, it can make your cramps more tolerable too.
As far as your hair goes, it's the kind of oil that stimulates hair growth. Also, because of its powerful antimicrobial properties, lavender oil also reduces scalp inflammation while treating dandruff (and lice) too.
Hair Regrowth Tip: Mix ½ teaspoon of lavender oil with ½ teaspoon of rosemary and five drops of grapeseed oil. Let the oil combination heat in the microwave for five seconds and then massage your scalp with the solution every other night. It's a great way to pamper your scalp, stimulate your hair follicles, and also heal your scalp if you happen to have alopecia.
2.Rosemary
A lot of people sleep on rosemary oil, but they shouldn't. It does everything from improving brain function and alleviating stress to reducing joint inflammation and increasing blood circulation. It's actually the oil's ability to help in the blood circulation department that makes it an awesome hair growth potion.
The more blood that flows to your scalp, the more nutrients your hair follicles are able to receive and the faster your hair will grow over time. Also, if you happen to struggle with patches of hair loss, rubbing some rosemary over those areas can heal them within a matter of 4-6 months.
Hair Mask Tip: Crack one egg. Then add to it one teaspoon of raw honey, one teaspoon of olive oil, and five drops of rosemary oil. Use a small whisk to blend everything together and then apply it to your freshly-washed hair. Let it sit on your hair and scalp for about 30 minutes, then rinse with lukewarm water first, cool water second (to seal your cuticles). Your hair will instantly feel much softer.
3.Peppermint
Neither one of us has the time to get into all of what peppermint oil can do. But just to give you a brief rundown—peppermint oil relieves muscle pain, treats seasonal allergies (because it acts as an expectorant), increases workout performance, protects skin from sun damage, alleviates headaches, freshens bad breath, and effectively treats irritable bowel syndrome too.
Your hair and scalp will love this oil because (thanks to the menthol that's in it) it fights the yeast the causes dandruff, nourishes damaged tresses, and it even makes hair thicker.
Hair Conditioner Tip: Add 4-5 drops of the oil into your conditioner. Let the conditioner sit on your hair and scalp for 20 minutes before rinsing and styling as usual. You should notice less dandruff and thicker hair within a couple of months (tops).
4.Thyme
This is another kind of oil that's well worth the investment. Thyme essential oil is a cicatrizant which is a fancy word that means it promotes the healing of scars. Thanks to the antibacterial and antifungal properties that are in thyme, it also can boost your immune system. Plus, the carminative properties in this oil reduce gas while its expectorant and antispasmodic properties can help to speed up the symptoms that are associated with a cold or the flu.
It's a great oil for natural hair because it's another one that promotes hair growth. There are even studies to support that if it's combined with grapeseed oil, it can reduce the symptoms associated with alopecia areata after about seven months.
Hair Growth Tip: If you mix 10 drops of thyme essential oil, one tablespoon of raw honey, and ½ cup of raw apple cider vinegar together in a plastic spray bottle and spray it on your hair and scalp daily, not only will it stimulate hair growth, it will soothe your itchy scalp and clear up dandruff as well.
5.Ylang Ylang
It might not be the most common essential oil on the market, but don't let that stop you from picking up some. Ylang Ylang (pronounced EE-lang EE-lang) contains properties that make it an antiseptic, aphrodisiac, and sedative all in one! If you're feeling a little depressed, you've got high blood pressure or you're looking for the kind of oil that will give your libido a bit of a boost, Ylang Ylang's got your back. Word on the street is that it's even used to treat arthritis and pelvic inflammatory disease.
How can it help your natural hair? For one thing, with regular use, it can help to reduce hair fall. It's also a great way to treat thinning tresses. Also, if you suffer from chronic scalp dryness, Ylang Ylang can moisturize your scalp without clogging up your follicles in the process.
Hair Spritz Tip: Add five drops of Ylang Ylang and ½ teaspoon of vegetable glycerin to a bottle that is filled with distilled water. Spray your hair throughout the day. It serves as a wonderful humectant spritz.
6.Ginger
Ginger oil has the reputation for being the "gut-friendly oil"; that's because it's able to soothe motion sickness, nausea, diarrhea, stomach aches, and vomiting. It's also the kind of oil that kills bacteria, reduces inflammation, and strengthens the heart. Thanks to all of the antioxidants that are in ginger oil, it can fight free radicals in the body. And, it's another oil that increases sexual desire (it even helps to treat erectile dysfunction).
The antioxidants and nutrients in this spicy oil make it another one that increases blood circulation to the scalp. And, if your hair is dry and brittle, it can make it much softer after just one application.
Scalp Massage Tip: Add six drops of ginger essential oil to three tablespoons of organic coconut oil. Pop the combination into the microwave for five seconds and massage your scalp before going to bed. It will help to heal your scalp and restore hair loss too.
7.Clary Sage
Clary Sage is a flowering herb that has a great reputation for reducing stress and also treating menstrual and menopause symptoms. If you rub the oil directly onto your lower abdomen, it will decrease the intensity of your cramps. As far as menopause goes, the sclareol that's in it mimics the estrogen. This results in fewer mood swings and hot flashes.
If you're looking for the kind of essential oil that not only stimulates hair growth but also balances out the oils on your scalp, fights dandruff, and helps to keep your hair shiny, clary sage will do it for you. It's also known for helping to balance out the hormones that could lead to excessive hair shedding.
Hair Thickening Tip: Mix 25 drops of rosemary, clary sage, and cedarwood (it's another oil that promotes hair growth) to three ounces of grapeseed oil. Put it in a glass bottle, shake it well, and massage it onto clean damp hair. Let the mixture sit for 25 minutes, then rinse and style as usual. It will condition your hair giving it more natural elasticity too. All that you need for long, healthy NATURAL hair!
Featured image by Getty Images.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
There’s just something about HBCU Homecoming that just hits different. Whether it’s your first time stepping onto the yard since graduation or you’re a regular at every Homecoming tailgate, HBCU pride is undeniable. It’s a vibrant celebration that unites the legacy of excellence and tradition with the energy and resilience of Black culture.
The experience goes beyond a typical college reunion; HBCU Homecoming is a family reunion, a fashion show, a cultural festival, and a week-long turn-up that embodies what it means to be unapologetically Black and educated. For HBCU alumni, the journey back to the yard each year is rooted in a love and pride that’s hard to put into words but impossible to deny.
From statement pieces to tech must-haves, every item represents the intersection of Black pride and HBCU love, ensuring that you show up to the yard in style and with intention. So whether you’re repping your alma mater for the first time since graduation or looking for fresh pieces to express your HBCU pride, these essentials will have you standing out, because, at HBCU Homecoming, it’s not just about showing up—it’s about showing out.
Thread Goals
diarrablu Jant Pants in Alia Noir
High-waisted, wide-legged, and ready to shut down the yard, the Jant Pants by diarrablu bring a whole new meaning to campus chic. Handcrafted in Dakar, Senegal, these free-flowing jacquard pants are perfect for stepping onto the yard with style and ease—making them a must-have for any HBCU alum’s closet.
Silver & Riley Convertible Executive Leather Bag Classic Size in Olive
This all-in-one luxury bag isn’t a bestseller for nothing. The Silver & Riley essential is made of Italian calfskin leather and thoughtfully designed, as it can be worn in four different ways: a shoulder bag, crossbody, a top handle, and a backpack. Chic and elegant, the Convertible Executive Leather bag is “the bag that every woman needs in her collection.”
Renowned Women's Intuition Cotton Graphic T-Shirt
Renowned
Renowned’s Women’s Intuition Cotton Graphic T-shirt features a bold graphic print inspired by the power and essence of women’s intuition. With its striking design, this all-cotton tee is a vibrant thing, making it a statement piece that celebrates feminine energy.
Mifland Million M Mesh Crop Shirt
Talk about bold, the Million M Mesh Crop Shirt combines edgy style with comfort, featuring Mifland’s signature print on a semi-see-through mesh fabric. Show up and show out in sophisticated flair.
HBCU Love FUBU
Melanin Is Life Melanated & Educated - I Love My HBCU Hoodie
Show off your HBCU love with this piece that represents everything you gained from your alma mater: a top-tier education, a community that lifts you up, and a deep sense of esteem for yourself and your culture. Wear it loud and proud, because being melanated and educated isn’t just a flex—it’s a legacy.
HBCU Culture Spelmanite Sweatshirt in Navy
Spelmanites, rep your Spelman pride with this unisex crewneck sweatshirt, designed for ultimate comfort and a relaxed fit. Made from a cozy cotton/polyester blend, this classic sweatshirt is as durable as it is stylish—making it an ideal piece for any Spelmanite showing love for their alma mater.
HBCU Culture Howard Is The Culture T-Shirt
Rock the ultimate flex by showcasing your Howard U love with HBCU Culture’s Howard Is The Culture t-shirt. This unisex tee offers a comfortable, relaxed fit that’s perfect for celebrating your HBCU spirit without sacrificing style or comfort.
DungeonForward FAMU - Strike Bucket - Reversible
DungeonForward’s Strike Bucket Hat brings versatility and style to the FAMU Crown collection with its reversible design, giving you two looks in one. Featuring a sleek black snakeskin-embossed brim lining and a bold outline Rattler emblem, this hat is all about repping your Rattler pride in style.
DungeonForward Savannah State University - HBCU Hat - TheYard
The Savannah State University HBCU Hat by DungeonForward is more than just a hat—it’s a symbol of Tiger pride and a nod to the culture. Perfect for gamedays, tailgates, or just showing off your HBCU love, this hat lets you carry a piece of the yard wherever you go.
Tech the Halls
Anker iPhone 16 Portable Charger, Nano Power Bank
Stay charged up with the Anker Nano Power Bank, which features dual USB-C ports, a foldable connector, and a compact design, making it perfect for those HBCU tailgates and late-night parties you pull up to.
Drip Check
Wisdom Frame 14 Square Sunglasses
Elevate your look with these angular square-frame sunglasses by Wisdom, bringing an ultramodern edge to any outfit. The sleek design makes them perfect for blocking out the haters while you stunt on the yard.
Coco and Breezy Eyewear Fortune in Gray Turquoise
The Fortune Glasses in Grey Turquoise is a bold statement piece to any Homecoming weekend ‘fit that “embody our fearless and outspoken DNA.” With their color and edgy design, these frames by Coco and Breezy are perfect for anyone looking to stand out and express their unapologetic confidence.
Howard U Lapel Pin
Rep your Bison pride wherever you go with this Howard U Lapel Pin from Pretty AmbVision. Whether adding it to your jacket, shirt, or bag, this pin is the perfect way to showcase your love for your alma mater while rocking your HBCU love with honor and distinction.
Mifland Standard Rucksack Mini
The Standard Rucksack is designed to evolve like that HBCU pride—getting richer, bolder, and better with time. Durable, stylish, and built to last, this Rucksack by Mifland is a timeless piece equipped with versatile carrying options and fully adjustable back straps for ultimate comfort.
Stay Fresh, Stay Blessed
Slip Pure Silk Sleep Mask in Pink
Keeping it cute starts with beauty sleep. This luxurious silk mask is an essential for a reason. If protecting your skin and waking up refreshed is your priority, look no further than this Homecoming essential.
Liquid I.V.® Hydration Multiplier Lemon Lime - Hydration Powder Packets
Stay hydrated and energized throughout Homecoming weekend with this Liquid I.V.® Hydration Multiplier in Lemon Lime. Just add a packet to your water bottle, and bless your body with 2-3 times more hydration than water with every packet. Because staying hydrated is the key to popping up and showing out all weekend long!
Loop Experience Plus Earplugs High Fidelity Hearing Protection
Designed for your hearing protection, these sleek earplugs reduce noise without compromising sound quality—perfect for enjoying the band’s halftime show, late-night parties, and DJ sets. Whether you’re front row at the step show or hitting the yard, your ears deserve to be protected in style!
Black Girl Magic Glass Cup
Sip in style and celebrate your melanin with the Black Girl Magic Glass Cup. Perfect for morning coffee, your favorite iced drink, or showing off your HBCU pride on the yard—this cup is all about keeping it cute while radiating your endless supply of Black Girl Magic.
Glow Up & Show Out
Black Girl Sunscreen SPF 30
What Homecoming weekend can be complete without an assist from this beauty find? Formulated to blend seamlessly into melanin-rich skin (no white-cast), protect your glow while you turn up with the Black Girl Sunscreen SPF 30.
Sienna Naturals Issa Rae's Wash Day Ritual Set
Issa Rae’s Wash Day Ritual Set from Sienna Naturals includes the H.A.PI. Shampoo, the Plant Power Repair Mask, Dew Magic, and Lock and Seal to get your crown right. Whether you’re repping your coils or rocking a new color on the yard, these products restore and nourish your strands, keeping your hair healthy, strong, and Homecoming-ready!
54 Thrones Ivorian Cocoa + Ghanaian Coconut Beauty Butter
Stay glowing from the tailgate to the after-party with the 54 Thrones Ivorian Cocoa + Ghanaian Coconut Beauty Butter. Infused with African-sourced ingredients, this rich, multi-purpose butter is the answer to keeping your skin soft and radiant through all the festivities all Homecoming long.
Saie Glossybounce Hydrating Lip Oil
Keep your lips looking luscious and nourished with the Saie Glossybounce Hydrating Lip Oil. Perfect for adding an extra pop to your pout before hitting the yard or freshening up between events, this lip oil is a beauty essential for staying camera-ready all weekend.
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image by Visual Vic/Getty Images
Victoria Monét’s Romantic Journey: A Deep Dive Into Her Dating History
Victoria Monét, the multi-talented singer-songwriter known for her sultry vocals and captivating performances, has been making waves not only for her music but also for her openness about her personal life. Best known for hits like "On My Mama" and collaborations with Usher, Monét's career continues to soar as she carves out a space in the R&B and pop landscape.
Alongside her musical success, her dating history has garnered attention, as she has been linked to several high-profile relationships, most notably with personal trainer and entrepreneur John Gaines, with whom she shares a daughter.
When it comes to her sexuality, Monét was hesitant at the beginning of her career to share she identified as bisexual. In an interview with Variety, she said, “I thought that conforming would make me go further. Being picturesque, straight… It almost felt like you didn’t want to add any more weights to your ankles trying to win a race. It’s like, you’re already a woman, you’re already Black — you’d better pick a struggle.”
In November 2018, the artist publicly announced her bisexuality in a post on X (formerly Twitter). This revelation empowered her to express her true self more openly through her music. Notably, in the 2019 duet with Ariana Grande "Monopoly," she sings, "I swerve both ways, dichotomy / I like women and men," boldly asserting her sexual orientation. Additionally, she composed the sensual track "Touch Me," the concluding song on Jaguar. This song is dedicated to her fellow R&B singer, Kehlani, with whom she had a relationship, and who is featured on the remix version of the song. More on this later.
Victoria’s music often reflects themes of love, sensuality, and freedom, creating a safe space for those who feel marginalized or misunderstood. By embracing her true self, both in her personal and professional life, Monét is a powerful voice of representation for queer women of color in the music industry.
Also, is it me or does Victoria Monét stay with a baddie? Let’s run back Victoria’s dating history by using some of her hit songs.
Touch Me: Rumors of Victoria and Kehlani Dating
For years, we have been speculating that Victoria and Kehlani had a lil something going on. Just this year, the “Ass Like That” singer confirmed their relationship. During a High Low with EmRata podcast interview with Emily Ratajkowski, she spilled the tea on her past relationship with Kehlani, working with Ariana Grande, and her love for R&B legend Sade.
The innanets were saying that Victoria’s fling with Kehlani started in 2020 when they recorded the “Touch Me” remix. During the interview, the 30-year-old revealed that she was expecting a child when she and the Kehlani worked together on a song that appeared to be about the "After Hours" singer.
While maintaining a neutral stance towards past romantic partners, Monét has refrained from divulging specific details about her previous relationship with Kehlani. She told Ratajkowski, “[We’re] friends. I kind of am like that with all of my past relationships. I really don’t like the idea of like, now someone’s dead to me, unless they did… I mean, some of my relationships ended where they did me wrong.”
Victoria went on to say, “But like, I don’t know. I just got over it, and I like to have that kind of an open connection, like, I don’t wanna kill somebody off and be like there’s a rule of me not to speak to them ’cause I feel like that takes even more energy to like, try to avoid people and trying to hate them.”
Breaking Point: Victoria Monét’s Relationship With John Gaines
In their romantic journey, Victoria Monét and John Gaines have consistently centered their attention on their small family unit.
Our first glimpse of Gaines came in Victoria's music video for "Moment," where the couple shared some incredibly passionate and sensual kisses.
Initially, they maintained a low-key approach to their relationship but later announced a significant milestone in December 2020: they were anticipating the arrival of their first child. Their daughter, Hazel, entered their lives in February 2021, completing their family circle.
Later that year, Victoria shared with ESSENCE, “We’re completely in love and enjoying our new chapter. [Hazel has] really got him wrapped around her finger, and I’ve seen him change in ways that I know he didn’t expect. She’s growing us up.”
Earlier this year, we found the family oozing adorable family vibes as they all took to the Grammy red carpet looking like walking mannequins. That night our queen took home three awards including Best New Artist.
— Victoria Monét (@VictoriaMonet) September 23, 2024
After seven months, the couple revealed in a joint statement that they had decided to discretely end their relationship. “We spent the last 10 months trying to respectfully and privately navigate the fact that we are no longer in a relationship. Though we still completely adore and respect each other, we are not a couple anymore.”
The announcement continued, “There was no infidelity, toxic behavior, or drama. We both just have some fundamental growing to do that would best be done apart so we can remain the best versions of ourselves for our daughter.”
We Might Be Falling in Love: Victoria’s Budding Romance with Stormzy
Word on the street is that the Jaguar baddie has moved on with a certain tall, dark, and handsome British rapper. Victoria was seen showing some major PDA with Stormzy earlier this month. The Sun released photos of the two embracing and kissing at Heathrow Airport less than a month after Victoria announced her split from John Gaines. According to The Sun, “the 6ft 5in star grinned as he gave Victoria a hug before kissing her on the lips.” An onlooker told the outlet, “Both Stormzy and Victoria looked absolutely smitten with each other.”
Ironically, Stormzy also announced his breakup from TV host beauty Maya Jama this summer, after rekindling their romance. The stars—who had previously dated from 2014 to 2019—acknowledged that they had attempted to make their relationship work, but it ultimately didn't, and that was an acceptable outcome.
"We've been laughing whilst drafting this because we never, ever, in a million years thought we'd be the couple announcing a breakup,” the former couple wrote in a joint statement. "But for the sake of clarity and, more importantly, to allow us the space and grace that's needed for us both to be able to navigate this next bit of our lives with peace, we thought it might be best to.”
Neither camp — Stormzy or Victoria — has confirmed the dating rumors but we all know a picture is worth 1000 words.
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Featured image by TheStewartofNY/WireImage