When it comes to achieving long hair, two things that more of us in the Black community need to stop saying (or believing) are 1) our hair cannot gain some super serious inches (lies!) and 2) once our hair appears to not be able to get past a certain length, it has actually “stopped growing” (more lies!).
The reality is, so long as you’ve got hair that’s coming out of your scalp (well, technically your hair follicles), your tresses are absolutely growing. At the same time, if not having the type of length retention that you’d like is your issue or you’ve hit what is known as a “growth plateau” that typically has to do with something else (other than genetics, although, that oftentimes plays a role in the speed of growth more than anything else). Something else like what?
Overmanipulating your hair via your styling practices. Applying too much heat. Using products that dry out your hair (including chemical relaxers and permanent hair dyes). Not making sure to baby those ends of yours.
And do you know what else can keep your hair “stuck” at the neck, shoulder, or even well past bra strap length? Not getting the proper nutrients in your system — because, indeed, no matter what you put on top of your hair, it’s ultimately not going to matter all that much if you’re not making sure that your body is receiving the proper nutrients that your tresses need…so that your hair can be strong and healthy from the inside out.
So, if you have had your hair at basically the same length since, chile who knows when, it’s time to take a moment to ponder if you’re getting enough of the following 10 nutrients into your system.
10 Nutrients for Hair Growth
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1. Vitamin B12
If you seem to feel tired and drained, no matter how much rest you get, or lately you can’t seem to remember or retain information, it could be a sign of a vitamin B12 deficiency. Know what else is: excessive hair shedding, weak hair follicles, and premature graying (check out “This Is How To Naturally Treat Premature Greying”). So, if you don’t currently take a multivitamin supplement, this is a good reminder to get one and to make sure that it provides you with around 2.4 micrograms of vitamin B12 per day. Your body, from head to toe, will thank you.
2. Biotin
One of the main reasons why you need some biotin (which is vitamin B7) in your body is because it helps to turn food into energy. Also, if you’re pregnant, it’s a very necessary nutrient for your ever-growing baby.
As far as your hair goes, biotin is beneficial because it can help to restore hair loss. And, since it also helps your system to create the protein keratin (and your hair is made up of mostly that), it can be beneficial as far as growing stronger hair (and nails) too. Personally, since I’ve incorporated this into my daily vitamin regimen, I’ve noticed a lot less hair in my detangling brush — significantly so.
3. Iron
You may have heard somewhere that we (Black people) deal with low iron in our blood more than white folks do — and while science is still trying to get down to the (pardon the pun) root of why, that is indeed the case. That said, something that I recently discovered is that even once someone is diagnosed with having low iron, over 60 percent of people continue to have it as much as three years later. This is alarming because, in order for your blood cells to be healthy, they need iron; there is no way around that.
And, the reason why all of this is relevant to this article is, when iron gives your cells the protein that they need, that can help to feed your hair follicles and prevent hair loss. In fact, a telling sign that you may be anemic (whether you know it or not) is if your hair is excessively shedding or you’re not seeing much growth progress as far as your tresses are concerned.
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4. Omega Fatty Acids
If you wanna take care of your heart, make your vision stronger, reduce bodily inflammation, decrease asthmatic-related symptoms in your children, and reduce feelings of depression and anxiety — these are just some of the reasons to get some omega fatty acids into your system. As a supreme bonus, your skin and hair will adore them because they help to reduce UV damage, can help to heal acne and yes, they’re even known for accelerating hair growth. Some health experts even say that omega fatty acids can make your hair strands thicker over time as well.
5. Foods High in Protein
Wanna lose weight? Consume more protein. Get your metabolism up? Consume more protein. Increase muscle mass? Consume more protein. Have hair that is thriving on every level? Yep, you’ve already guessed it: consume more freakin’ protein. Since your hair is made up of mostly protein (keratin), if you want to keep it in great shape, it makes all the sense in the world that you would need to incorporate (more) protein into your diet. Foods that are packed with protein include lamb, turkey, almonds, Greek yogurt, and quinoa (also check out “Vegetarian Or Vegan? Check Out These High Protein Foods.”).
6. Foods High in Vitamin E
If you want to reduce oxidative stress, strengthen your lungs, make your periods more manageable, reduce the fat that your liver collects, and/or deeply hydrate and soften your skin, you definitely need foods that contain vitamin E in your life. Some of those include salmon, red peppers, wheat germ oil (it’s got a ton!), almond oil, and avocados. Every time that you take in any of these things, you know that your tresses are happy; that’s because vitamin E also maintains scalp health, helps to prevent hair loss, and keeps your locks nice and shiny (from the inside out) too.
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7. Foods High in Vitamin C
The powerful antioxidants that are found in vitamin C are great for keeping your immune system strong. Vitamin C is also beneficial as far as helping to manage your blood pressure, helping to prevent anemia (by helping your body to process iron more effectively), and keeping your cells healthy overall. Since vitamin C, in pretty much every form, helps with the production of collagen, it’s also a nutrient that fights premature aging in your skin along with making your hair stronger and less prone to breakage.
8. Foods High in Zinc
A nutrient that strengthens and heals is zinc. The reason why I say that is because it can boost your immunity, treat acne, and speed up the healing process of (minor) ulcers. When it comes to what zinc can do for your hair, specifically, it helps to restore damaged hair follicles and it can help to prevent hair loss before it even happens. Foods high in zinc include red meat, pumpkin seeds, eggs, whole grains, and dark chocolate (so long as it has a high amount of cacao, which is a more unrefined type of cocoa, in it).
9. Foods High in Silica
What is silica? Basically, it’s a compound that is made up of both silicon and oxygen. The reason why you need it is because it helps with bone and joint health, it rebuilds collagen levels in your body, it can aid in balancing out your hormones and it’s great for cultivating glowing skin.
Your hair will thrive with the assistance of silica because it strengthens your hair follicles and reduces hair breakage which is always what you need to get over your hair growth plateaus. Foods that are a good source of silica include dark leafy greens, oats, melons, cucumbers, and even beer, chile.
10. Fruit-Infused Water
When you get a chance, please check out “10 Overlooked Signs That You're Dehydrated.” With over 75 percent of Americans continuing to be dehydrated, it’s important to know what indicates that you may be since you definitely need water in order to keep your system running at an optimal level. As far as your hair goes, when it’s not hydrated enough, your scalp can become dry and itchy, your hair can become brittle, your locks can lose volume and it’s definitely more vulnerable to split ends.
That said, y’all, I make it no secret that water tastes like wet air to me. Still, I know that I need it and so, the way that I get more of it into my body is by either drinking sparkling water (with some fruit juice in it) or making some fruit-infused water which is literally water with some fresh fruit (and/or veggies and/or herbs) added in. Fruit-infused water is dope because it can hydrate you and get you some extra nutrients at the same time. For some delicious recipes, go here, here and here.
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Hair growth plateaus? For most of us, it’s common. However, you don’t have to settle for them. Giving your hair some TLC, being super gentle with your ends, and taking all of what I just said, nutrient-wise, seriously — it can get you past having hair at the same length (which basically means that it’s breaking off about as fast as its growing) and into a totally new growth phase. It’s possible. Stay focused.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
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Sex & The New Year: Single Women Get Candid About Their 2025 Intimacy Goals
Fail to plan, plan to fail. It is certainly a saying that all of us have heard at one point or another; however, when it comes to sex, specifically, and definitely when it comes to women who aren’t married or in a serious relationship, I’m not so sure that plans are encouraged as much as they probably should be. I don’t just mean planning to get tested with partners or planning to use birth control — hopefully, those things are a given (right?).
What I mean is, if you are someone who likes to sit down and come up with resolutions for the new year, when it comes to your sex life, what exactly are you resolving to do? What sex-related goals do you actually have? Because if you don’t know and you kind of just let life “happen to you,” the way you end 2025 may not be the way you planned…because there never was a plan in place.
All of this is why I decided to ask 10 single women to pause, ponder, and then produce a semi-formal sex plan that they would be willing to share with y’all. Although a few of them were taken aback by my request at first, by the time they gave me their answer, each woman found it to be something that they would be doing annually moving forward — because, like everything else in life, knowing what you want out of sex, for yourself, is essential. And you certainly increase your chances of getting what you desire…when there is a plan in place.
*Middle names are always used in these types of interview pieces so that individuals can speak freely*
1. Hannah. 28.
Giphy“Girl, my sex plan is to stop having sex with my ex-fiancé. When we broke off our engagement 16 months ago, I’m not sure if either of us thought that we’d keep having sex like we were still together. But who wants to keep racking up bodies or risking getting an STD? Plus, the sex with him? I have never had it so good and so consistent. But when you asked me about putting a ‘sex plan’ together, and I really thought about how our relationship has no future — I accept that I need to let that last part of us go. Otherwise, I could date someone and still be having sex with my ex. I’m not going to tell him [her ex] about my plan until after our date on New Year’s Eve. Don’t judge me. I’m a work in progress!”
Shellie here: Check out “You Love Him. You Prefer Sex With Your Ex. What Should You Do?”
2. Alexie. 34.
Giphy“I’m gonna have me some multiple orgasms, dammit! I am so tired of reading about them and not being able to relate. I think women have been conditioned to think that even getting one is something that we should be grateful for — you know, kind of like that Salt-N-Pepa brag about getting knocked out for the night after one ‘shot.’ No ma’am. I wanna know what it’s like to cum, pause, cum again, pause, and cum again. I’m going to make that my mission for the entire year. I’ll let you know how it goes.”
Shellie here: Check out “How To Have Mind-Blowing Multiple Orgasms. Tonight, Chile.”
3. Thalia. 27.
Giphy“I want to learn how to enjoy oral sex more — not giving, receiving. I’ve always liked the power that comes from giving a man head, but I haven’t met a guy who makes receiving it feel as good as my girlfriends talk about. Whenever it happens to me, I feel annoyed; it’s almost like a dog is licking on me or something. Everything just feels wet, sloppy, and aimless. I’ve got a guy friend who says that he can get me what I’m after. I’m considering him because I’ll be damned if I’m out here giving out all this good head, and I end up dying not knowing what everyone else is even talking about!”
Shellie here: Check out “Sooo...What If You HATE Oral?” and “Okay. So, This Is Why Oral Sex Is Probably Not Satisfying You (Fully).” and (just in case) “How To Preserve Your Friendship After BAD Casual Sex”
4. Icelynne. 30.
Giphy“‘Get over a man by getting under a different man’ is some bullsh-t. All you do is up your body count. The guy I’ve been seeing, the kissing is good but the sex isn’t that great, but I really like him. In the past, I would just move on, but now that you ask me to come up with a plan — I think the plan is to try and make sex better. You get older, and you realize that sometimes you ‘click’ immediately with someone, and sometimes, you need to be more patient. It’s not that the sex is bad, it’s just that I’m used to good sex being easier. Learning to talk about my needs and working with someone to meet them — that’s the plan for next year.”
Shellie here: Check out “Do You Lie About Your Body Count? Here's Why You Shouldn't.,” “6 Things About The Whole 'Body Count' Debate That Should Be Discussed” and “Is There REALLY Such A Thing As 'Bad Sex'?”
5. Gabriella. 45.
Giphy“I’m sick of reading about all of the different kinds of orgasms that you can have and barely knowing what a [clitoral] one feels like. If I can have a nipple orgasm, then I’m going to have one. And I can have one by myself? In my sleep? [Shellie here: Yes, sleep orgasms are an actual thing] And what’s this, you can come just from someone kissing you, right? What the f-ck?! I’m on mission to be able to say that I’ve had every type of orgasm there is. The interviewing process for this mission is about to be so funny, too. I already know.”
Shellie here: Check out “U-Spot Orgasm, Fantasy Orgasm & 6 Other Orgasms You Should Try Tonight”
6. Terrika. 33.
Giphy“I’m leaving faking orgasms in my rearview mirror. It doesn’t help anything. All it does is make men think that they’ve accomplished something that they haven’t and make me resent them for doing it. I hate to say it, but I’ve been acting like I’ve cum for so long that I can’t even remember the last time that I’ve had a real orgasm — oh, yes, I can, and it was two damn years ago! I think because I like sex, even if I don’t cum, is why I’ve put up with it for so long. I’m not getting any younger, and I need to make sure I end up with a man where I don’t have to do any pretending. 2025 is going to be my year. I am speaking it into existence!”
Shellie here: Check out “Why You Should Stop Faking Orgasms ASAP” and “So, 10 Women Sat Down And Told Me Why They Fake Orgasms...More Times Than Not”
7. Persephone. 38.
Giphy“I want to experience sexcations all over the world. I find it fascinating how much sex gets better for me whenever I’m in a new environment. If that can happen just with a different hotel or an Airbnb, I can only imagine what it would be like to make love in London, Cape Town, or Barcelona. It’s also sexy to get to know someone better in a different space. I met a guy [last year], and our connection is strong. We’ve been talking about stamping our passports together. We haven’t had sex yet. I think an international sexcation being our first time, would be perfect for the new year.”
Shellie here: Check out “Married Couples, It's Time For A Sexcation!” and “This Is How To Create The Best Kind Of ‘Sex Bucket List’”
8. Evelyn. 29.
Giphy“I want to know what ‘making love’ feels like. Is that weird to say? Coming into sex, I was what my friends say is a ‘late bloomer’ because I didn’t have sex until my junior year [of college]. It wasn’t random, but it wasn’t with a guy who I loved — well, I loved him as a friend and still do, but it wasn’t a romantic type of thing. I was curious and trusted him to try it out. I don’t regret that, but since, there have only been a few others, and the pattern has been the same: sex with friends and nothing mind-blowing. [In 2025], I want to wait until I’m in a serious relationship and then have sex. I keep hearing that love-making is the best. I have no clue. Would like to know.”
Shellie here: “Unforgettable: 10 Men Open Up About That 'One Experience' They'll Never Forget”
9. Tamiko. 41.
“I want to take a break [from sex]. During my marriage, we had so many sex problems that once we divorced, I definitely made up for lost time. It was mostly because I felt like I was being ‘sexually gaslit’ by my husband — like I couldn’t get the sex that I was after, and it was my fault. Now that I know that it wasn’t a ‘me problem,’ it was an ‘us issue,’ and I’ve gotten all of my ‘itches scratched,’ I’m ready to learn some other things that make me tick outside of the bedroom. I’m not necessarily declaring abstinence for a year, but I am done with my nothing-more-than-sex quest. Next time, it will be someone who gets me excited in more than just the bed.”
Shellie here: Check out “I've Been Abstinent For 12 Years. Here's How.” and “6 Genuine Signs You're Making An Emotional Connection With Your Sex Partner”
10. Lana. 51.
Giphy“My plan is to be more open-minded — not so much when it comes to my standards for a partner but the things that I’m willing to do sexually. I’m not the most conservative person on the planet, but when it’s always in the back of your mind that you can get pregnant, that can make you more cautious. I’m on the tail end of menopause now, so I suddenly feel more adventurous. With a steady sex partner, I’m ready to try whatever and do whatever. Sex that exceeds anything I’ve done before…that is my 2025 plan, girl. Let’s go!”
Shellie here: Check out “What Having Sex After Menopause Is Like, According To 10 Women”
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