You are what you practice. And healing and protecting your energy is a ritual you should implement daily.
I have to be completely honest in saying that life has been hard in the past six months – like really hard. And as much as I want to just give up and give in, I can't. It's not in me. So, a few weeks ago, I decided to take a long, hard look at myself and figure out why certain things and people were showing up in my life and completely wrecking me. Turns out, I am a "feeler" or empath which the internet defines as "a person with the paranormal ability to apprehend the mental or emotional state of another individual." As you can imagine, it's a gift and a curse because while being in tune with others' emotions can be fulfilling, it can also be draining. That's where I was – drained.
I have lived most of my life not wanting to be selfish until I heard Iyanla Vanzant say the following message which I now hold as truth:
"It's not selfish, it's self-full. It's self-full to be first, to be as good as possible to you. To take care of you, keep you whole and healthy. That doesn't mean you disregard everything and everyone. But you want to come with your cup full. You know: 'My cup runneth over.' What comes out of the cup is for y'all. What's in the cup is mine. But I've got to keep my cup full."
Talk about a word, beloved.
I came to the realization that in order to keep my cup full, I needed to let go of things that were not mine to carry and that included energy. My first step was meeting with an energy healer named Julie Larkin. Energy healing has risen in popularity in recent years as more and more of us experience overwhelm, depression, anxiety, burnout, and an overall state of feeling stuck. Energy healing is an ancient practice of medicine where the healer or the reiki taps into the body's frequencies to help harness the full power of your energy. This jumpstarts healing, promotes balance, and the flow and ease of inner peace. Through intuitive listening and guidance, Julie did that and then some.
Before I hopped on the energy table in the perfectly dim room emboldened with crystals and vibrational melodies, I was able to speak my intentions for the healing session. Julie asked me how I wanted to leave the room after the healing was complete. Once I shared my intentions, she shared some tools that she believed would help me protect my energy in my day to day life.
These are the tools I took with me:
Grounding
Feeling anxious? Grounding is a great tool for calming. I had heard of grounding before but didn't fully receive its power until Julie explained it to me. Grounding helps you to hone in your focus physically, from your body to your surroundings. It forces you to relinquish the thoughts that may cause you to feel anxious because the key is to be present.
There are multiple practices you can try but the most simple calls you to place one hand on your heart and one hand on your belly while standing or sitting on grass. By actually connecting to the ground, you create a cord from you to the center of the earth. Envision the energy draining from your head to your feet as you take long, deep breaths.
The Rose Method
GiphyResonating at 320 hertz, the red rose has the highest vibrational frequency of any flower. Its power is beyond describable. By visualizing it, you immediately summon clarity and power. In our session, I was encouraged to visualize a red rose blooming in between myself and someone that I may be having issues with to help disintegrate dysfunction.
The result? "It's super intentionally powerful when you are a high feeler/empath so you can be more CLEAR about what is yours (by way of senses/emotions/vibes) and what belongs 'out there'/with 'the other,'" Julie says. "We have never been taught about our energetic bodies and this is what I like to call 'energetic hygiene'."
To implement good energetic hygiene in your day-to-day life, Julie suggests looking at the rose method as a way to clean house every morning and evening. In doing so, you clear the energies you've taken in or encountered. "This is a way for us to be more aware and diligent around discerning between what energy, vibes, [or] emotions are ours and what is not. The alternative is what many of us high feeler/empaths feel -- muddled, confused, lack of clarity, overwhelmed, etc, " she continues.
Fill Up Your Bubble
GiphyInfusing your energetic field can be pivotal in protecting the energy you take on. I recently found that I always left work drained after encountering this one specific person; when she wasn't around, I felt more powerful. This awareness led me to practice filling up my bubble, outside of my physical self, to create somewhat of a shield. And once you make it a habit, you will find that there's an electric jolt that pulses from the crown of your head to the soles of your feet.
During my energy healing session, Julie softly said, "Imagine your energetic bubble - the energy that IS you - as a perfect oval shape approximately two feet out in all directions from your physical edges. Take a moment to mock this up in your imagination. See It. Feel It. Claim it as yours. You may choose to say: I Am Energetically Home."
As simple as it sounds, I needed her to give me permission to own my bubble because I had been allowing others to control it and reside in it for years. Once I reclaimed it, I felt a divine energy like no other.
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Featured image by Getty Images
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It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
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“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
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What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak