Elmiene's "Marking My Time," Cecily's "I Am Love," And More Songs By Black Artists To Vibe To
The nicest thing about the music business over the holidays is that most well-known artists have already released their albums and singles for the year and have taken a seasonal slumber until the new year arrives. This gives lesser-known musicians who must work year-round a chance to shine and take over the airwaves for a short period of time. Therefore, this week's new music is filled with artists that you don't know but should.
With songs that share relatable themes of self-sabotage ("Ruined" and "Departure"), self-assurance and confidence ("I Am Love" and "Limbo"), and self-love and reflection ("Learn Ya" and "project"), this week's new songs illustrate the self-awareness that comes at the end of the year when everything has slowed down and solidified itself. Here are the top ten new songs of the week.
"Ruined" - Michael J Woodard
This song feels... familiar. The songs that the guitar strums remind me of were probably released in the late 2000s or early 2010s. The song's tempo, reminiscent of the time period, soothes listeners into a state of comfort as Michael J Woodard speaks on how a previous romance destroyed him. The ballad "Ruined" highlights two key points: first, the singer takes responsibility for his own life's devastation, and second, he is now pleading for some sense of pity, since his partner has moved on, indicating that his careless actions in the relationship have destroyed whatever prospects he may have had.
The song is enjoyable. However, listening to Woodard sing over the chorus of this song, which expresses how he created the riff in his relationship, yet is offended that his love has the nerve to go on, is annoying after a while. One finds it difficult to feel sorry for someone who is so self-aware. Mostly because, like a lot of others, he thinks that just admitting his mistakes and making a commitment to never make them again absolves him of responsibility for what he has done.
Although he doesn't appear to entirely believe in this "forgive and forget" truth, there is a part of him that thinks his love will hear about his suffering and understand that he is ready to change now that he understands where he went wrong. And with this belief, it feels like he never truly learned the lesson that ruined him in the first place.
"Marking My Time" (Live) - Elmiene
Futuristic neo-soul musician Elmiene released his newest EP, Marking My Time, in October 2023. When discussing the EP's release, the singer states that it was meant to mark time in his personal history so that he wouldn't "get lost." Almost creating an adhesion checkpoint, the singer wanted to be sure to document and acknowledge the imprint he left on the musical world, no matter how small. This, of course, makes sense, given the R&B singer is someone we will likely hear about for years to come, especially after being dubbed the "Golden Boy" of Brit R&B.
In his latest single, "Marking My Time," the singer speaks of putting his soul on fire and escaping a society that he believes is morally corrupt and damaged over a soft guitar and dramatic string orchestra. The live version of the song is warm, comforting, and a little disheartening as we hear the singer's smooth vocals moan and plea over the ability to free himself and how doing so is easier said than done. The entire EP is worth listening to. However, if you don't have the time, treat yourself to the live rendition on YouTube.
"I Am Love" - Cecily
"You're my favorite, dubby dubby doo."
Cecily Bumbray, I believe, would be the musical love child of Jill Scott, Kaiit, and Esperanza Spalding. A singer and songwriter from Washington, DC, Cecily finds her footing in the R&B/Soul/Jazz world in her newest single, "I Am Love," in which she sings of being the epitome of love. The lead track from her next project, Awakening Pt. 2, which drew inspiration from bell hooks' book All About Love, emphasizes the value of affirmations, as the song highlights one's ability to remind oneself, especially during times of hardship, that you are love.
Due to its earnestly positive themes, the song has a cozy, milk-and-honey feel about it. It is endearing, restorative, and full of affection.
In the end, the song provides a nice groove that shows that love can come from many places, even and especially from within. "I Am Love," characterized by a laid-back rhythm and deep harmonies, seamlessly resides at the nexus of jazz and soul, mirroring the romantic sentiments of 1990s neo-soul artists with a contemporary spin.
"Black Owned Friday" - Keke Palmer ft. Crystal Waters
This song would probably be a terrific choice for a ballroom challenge if Max hadn't canceled the show, Legendary, which Keke Palmer used to cohost. Unfortunately, it has been canceled, so this song would only work well at a club during a Renaissance- or 1980s/90s-themed night. During Black Friday weekend, the song honored Black-owned companies and provided unwavering support for them. Palmer reworked the 90s hit song "100% Pure Love" by Crystal Waters in collaboration with Google to highlight Black-owned businesses.
The song is entertaining and catchy, while the music video features several Black-owned businesses and goods. She exhorts that everyone, regardless of race, invest in Black-owned companies and use their earnings for projects that would help more underprivileged entrepreneurs. The message conveys the importance of building financial success in communities that otherwise wouldn't be able to do it on their own.
"Learn Ya" - 6LACK
In preparation for his upcoming fifth studio album, 6Lack is releasing the lyric video to some of his older songs. One of those songs is "Learn Ya" from his 2016 album, Free 6Lack. Now that I have the opportunity to listen to the song again, I can't help but think of how masterfully written the song is and how it makes one accountable to their partner.
In the ballad "Learn Ya," 6Lack describes the problematic relationship he has found himself in. Confronting his girlfriend, or soon-to-be ex, the singer lists many attributes that are necessary to have a successful relationship. Unfortunately, his lover doesn't seem to possess any of them. So, throughout the song, he brings her shortcomings to her attention in a straightforward, non-accusatory tone. He merely points out how she could love him better, and in hopes of succeeding together, he holds himself accountable for teaching her how to love him correctly.
Although she appears purposefully ignorant of her mistakes, throughout the song, she seems unwilling to correct them. Still, throughout the song, 6Lack continues to use words like "we" and "us" to show that she doesn't have to grow alone in their relationship and that despite being frustrated with her, he still desires to make their relationship work.
"Limbo" - Meduulla ft. The Mouse Outfit
How evocative this tune is.
I've been missing the storytelling rap that only a few artists—Kendrick Lamar, an early J.Cole, and older rappers from the 1980s and 1990s—can provide. Meduulla discusses finding contentment in simple existence in a narrative akin to a lullaby. Living such a life means remaining loyal to herself and without compromising the qualities that define her. She struggles, though, to balance the life she is now attempting to give up and leave behind with the one she is creating for herself through her goals.
Her biggest struggle at the moment is how to handle herself during this transitional period, or how she will manage to overcome being in limbo.
Even yet, it doesn't sound like she's doing this in a melancholy manner in the song.
As she creates the life she believes she deserves, she is primarily interested in learning the answer to her question in order to make sure she takes the most tranquil and healing path possible for herself. The song is easy listening and fun, making you question where people feel safest while they're going through their transformations and how one can obtain the most peaceful manner in accomplishing their purposeful growth.
"Lonely At the Top" (Remix) - Asake & H.E.R.
Nigerian singer-songwriter Asake's song "Lonely At The Top (Remix)" is the newest single from his latest project, Work of Art [WOA]. In the song, Asake and H.E.R. delve into the themes of determination, tenacity, and the cost incurred in pursuing one's dreams despite naysayers' beliefs. The song captures the loneliness that one can acquire when at the top, and how it frequently accompanies achievement when one is in unwavering pursuit of their dreams. The singers consider the difficulties associated with success and how it can create a feeling of loneliness, while one longs for understanding and human connection.
This is one of the better H.E.R. collaborations to come out in the last few weeks. This is mostly because the song does a fantastic job of capturing the artists' dedication to following their passion relentlessly, regardless of what other people might approve of or desire. The song's lyricism is serious, but the melody is relaxing and surefooted, allowing for moments of reflection on one's circumstances. The single demonstrates the artists' will to follow their ambitions despite opposition and loneliness.
It emphasizes putting one's own aspirations ahead of other people's ideas and expectations by showing the sacrifices and steadfast devotion that come with chasing dreams.
"Departure" - Fetty Wap
It appears that a number of musicians have encountered significant legal issues recently. For instance, Young Thug's long-delayed trial for gang-related charges has recently begun after more than a year of the rapper's incarceration, Tory Lanez was just sentenced to ten years in prison, and YNW Melly is awaiting a retrial on his charges of double murder. And that's only a handful of the musicians facing difficulties; Fetty Wap, for example, hasn't put out an album in what seems like 1,738 years due to his legal issues. Nevertheless, the musician has released his most recent album, King Zoo, months after being sentenced to six years in prison on drug trafficking charges. While away, the "Trap Queen" artist released his newest single, "Departure" from his newly released project.
It's a smart release that makes for a great single for his next album. The song's melody, which has a chord pattern similar to DJ Khaled and Rihanna's "Wild Thoughts" in certain portions and Ashanti's early 2000s smash "Foolish" in others, is catchier than its words. Though the message is clear: Fetty Wap trusted the wrong people, and despite all of his accomplishments and "good behavior," this has resulted in his downfall and inevitable departure from those in his original crew.
"project" - Zowie Kengocha
This song has the sense of a seductress luring you in with the promise of love and affection. And instead of taking a measured approach with every barrier up, you joyously disarm each act of protection in the hopes of feeling even a tiny bit of her professed devotion. Until today, I've never heard a song from Zowie Kengocha, a singer-songwriter raised in Nairobi, and born in New Jersey, but after I did, I wish I had heard from the artist sooner. However, as they say, I'm glad to have arrived later than never.
In her newest single for her forthcoming EP, Kengocha's voice is clear, clean, and seductive, as she gives listeners the impression of being enveloped in warmth while swaying in a lover's embrace.
This song is ideal to play for a new love since it describes the euphoric sensation that one has when one first falls in love and their sentiments are reciprocated. The track "project" is transparent and straightforward, adding to its charm that makes downloading this gem ideal for spending a beautiful evening with the one you fancy.
"Diversion" - Tamera
I really enjoy it when performers introduce their audience to other deserving musicians that they may not have otherwise heard of. R&B artist Mahalia presents her listeners to R&B singer Tamera in her most recent single. In the acoustic rendition of the more upbeat song "Diversion," Tamera declares a warning to her partner about the thoughtless and risky conduct she has noticed in their relationship. Primarily, she sings of how, after she sees the warning signs, his erratic and dubious conduct makes her suspicious and makes her battle between the urge to fall in love with him versus leaving him where he stands.
She understands that his actions are making her respond in a way that is consistent with her nature and how she has forgiven guys like him before. Though, based on her experience, she quickly acknowledges that he is nothing more than a diversion whose sole intention is to manipulate her emotions for his own amusement. The intriguing aspect of this song is Tamera's self-awareness, as she expresses discontent with the relationship. By the end of the song, listeners question why she hasn't "tapped out of the circus" she claims to be in when it is so clear that he doesn't mind making her look like a clown.
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Taysha Robinson is a writer and high school English teacher, based in metro-Atlanta. A self described philomath, you can find her reading books and articles of every genre, attending educational conferences, and hiking wherever the terrain will allow.
A Cosmic Guide To Love In 2025: What The Stars Have In Store For Your Heart
The most important lesson we are learning about love in 2025 is change. Many major Astrological transits are happening this year, and these will last for years to come. As we walk through this new year, we are being asked to let go of the things we can’t control, and give more grace to the things we can. This is a year of a new perspective on love, finding gratitude in the little things, and watching as the universe supports us and the dreams we build for ourselves here.
At the beginning of the year, we are being shown how significant 2025 will be for love. From March 1, 2025, until April 12, 2025, Venus, the planet of love and relationships, will be retrograde. Venus goes retrograde approximately every 18 months and hasn’t been retrograde since the Summer of 2023. With love taking a step back at the beginning of the year, we move through a time of understanding the emotional world better and letting go of trying to control outcomes here.
What Does 2025 Have in Store for Love?
It’s time to refocus your relationship priorities overall, and with this retrograde happening in both Aries and Pisces, Aries being the first sign of the zodiac and Pisces being the last; there is a chapter we are closing and a new one we are walking into.
Another significant factor that is influencing relationships this year, is Jupiter’s entry into Cancer. Jupiter brings blessings, abundance, luck, and expansion, and in water sign Cancer, brings these gifts to your emotions. Cancer rules emotional safety, foundations, close loved ones, family, support, and emotional well-being, and with Jupiter in this sign from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026, we experience blessings in stability within love. This is a good year for building stronger foundations in love, aligning with those who are loyal and supportive, knowing what you need emotionally, and being a lot clearer on it.
Letting Go of the Past: The Astrological Theme of 2025
Overall, the guideline for the year when it comes to love is to focus on the bigger picture and let things work themselves out without forcing them to. Magic will come in for you this year when you can assess your needs and wants, let go of illusions or smoke and mirrors, and focus on the things you want for yourself rather than what you don’t. Your focus and beliefs on love are the priority right now, and things will be coming full circle for the better.
Read below to see your personal 2025 love forecast. Read for your sun, moon, and rising signs.
What Does Your Zodiac Sign Say About Your 2025 Love Life?
ARIES
2025 is one of the more significant years for you, Aries. A lot of the major transits are happening in your sign, which includes Venus retrograde in Aries at the beginning of the year, Neptune in Aries from March 2025 until 2039, and Saturn in Aries from May 2025 until 2028. Not to mention, Chiron, the wounded healer is currently in your sign until 2027.
What this means for you when it comes to love, is that you have learned a lot about where you want to be here, and it’s the year to implement more of these tools and knowledge of the heart.
This year for love is about honoring your integrity and what you need personally to thrive in life and creating that space to let it in. You need someone who will be there for you through whatever you are experiencing in life and not someone who adds to these challenges. This year is a time of rising above, and choosing better for yourself.
TAURUS
2025 for you when it comes to love, is all about perspective and taking better care of your heart, Taurus. Uranus, the planet of change, rebellion, progress, and upheaval, has been in your sign since 2019, and this year you get a break from all of the surprises. From Jul. 7, 2025, until Nov. 7, 2025, Uranus leaves your sign and enters Gemini, giving your mind and your heart some time to breathe.
This year you are being given the opportunity to see things for what they are, rather than what you fear them to be. You are able to see your relationship dynamics clearer, allowing you to feel more confident in what you are building and creating for yourself in this area of your life. What you are working on this year is letting go of overthinking, and allowing things to play out the way they are meant to in love.
GEMINI
This year you are feeling in balance when it comes to love, Gemini. Relationships are important to you in life overall, as you are a relationship-oriented sign, but it can be difficult at times to keep the balance and perspective here. This year, with lucky Jupiter in your sign until June, you have the opportunity to be blessed with some fortunate circumstances personally and within romance.
You are feeling yourself this year, and this is attracting you success and new opportunities within love.
Uranus will also be in your sign this year from Jul. 7 until Nov. 7, and some surprises are in store for you. Pay attention to what happens in your love life during this period, as similar themes will be coming back around for you when Uranus officially enters its Gemini transit from 2026 - 2032. Overall, this year is about balancing what’s coming and going in love, and finding your peace within your inner confidence for it all.
CANCER
2025 for you, Cancer, is about stability in love. You are growing emotionally from the ground up, and are feeling a sense of support, confidence, romance, and receptivity in your love life this year. You are one of the lucky signs of 2025, and this is due to Jupiter, the planet of blessings, entering your sign from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026. While Jupiter is in your sign, your life expands and you are able to see the gifts of your world that may have been harder to come by previously.
This is a year of spending more time with your loved ones and feeling more heard and supported emotionally. Safety and security are especially important to you this year, and you are only entertaining the people who feel that way about you and provide that. Many Cancers will be expanding their families this year or developing a long-term relationship, and overall this is a year of feeling stronger when it comes to love.
LEO
When it comes to love this year for you, Leo, it’s about trusting your intuition and listening more to what your heart is telling you. There are not many major transits happening in Leo in 2025, which means there is a lot of room to grow, but you may be feeling a lack of support or encouragement to do so. A lot of Leos are taking a step back to look at where they are currently in love, and yearning for some change and a new direction here.
Neptune will be in your 9th house of adventure for most of this year, and you are being asked to get inspired and do things differently, but don’t take unnecessary risks in love that may not serve you in the long run.
It can be easy to get lost in the fantasy of love rather than the actual reality you’ll live in here, and taking more time to understand yourself, your relationships, and the dynamics in your love life will be necessary. Overall, your heart is healing this year and you are moving away from the past and creating your new future.
VIRGO
This year when it comes to love, you are going through changes that are aligning you closer to your goals and dreams here, Virgo. You are focused on making things work that you want to see bloom, and also letting go of putting effort into people that aren’t reciprocating the same energy. With the North Node entering your sister sign Pisces and the South Node moving into your sign from Jan. 11, 2025, until Jul. 26, 2026, you are doing a lot of letting go over the next year.
However, with the North Node being in your 7th house of love, new doors and gifts are also opening up for you and your partnerships. The more you can let go of perfection and overworking your mind and your heart, the more blessings you will experience when it comes to love this year. In 2025, you also have two Eclipses in your sign, and there are overall a lot of changes Virgos are moving through this year. Your main guidance for love is to stand by the things that serve your heart and release yourself from what burdens it.
LIBRA
Love is coming to fruition for you this year, Libra. You have been through a lot in your personal life these past few years, and walking into 2025, you are ready for some positive change. This is a year of feeling in balance with your personal goals and dreams, and what you are experiencing romantically and financially as well. Relationship dynamics are serving you and your sense of abundance, and many gifts are coming your way in love this year.
With Neptune, Chiron, and Saturn all being in your 7th house of love, your love life and partnerships are the main focus for you in 2025.
You are moving through changes, overcoming previous obstacles, and bringing back the dreamy energy here. With Chiron in the 7th, you are still doing some healing of the heart, but with Neptune now entering, it all feels a little more romantic and spiritual at the same time. This year is about believing in the impossible in love, taking care of yourself, and allowing someone else to take care of you as well.
SCORPIO
This year is all about opportunity when it comes to love, Scorpio. You have your eyes on the prize and are focused on what you want for yourself, but also how you want to show up for love as well. You have goals and intentions that you are setting for your love life this year, and a lot of them reflect the passion and strength you are feeling as you enter the year. Vesta is in your sign this year until September, and you have a spark within you that is a magnet for success and love. You are walking forward confidently and are feeling inspired, sexy, and magical this year.
This is a very sensual and powerful year for you, and this energy is being reflected in the relationship experiences you are having. Jupiter also enters your 9th house of adventure halfway through the year, and there is something special about the trips you are taking and the risks you are taking in love. Overall, this is a year of doing things your way and attracting love to you through your inner confidence and charisma.
SAGITTARIUS
This is a beautiful year of feeling balanced and abundant in love, Sagittarius. There is a lot of energy coming in and you are giving a lot of love as well. This sense of synergy you are feeling within your love life this year has a lot to do with Juno, the asteroid of soulmates, in your sign from Feb. 19 - Apr. 15. Your people are coming in and you have options this year, Sag.
This is a year of feeling loved for the inspiring, outgoing, and unique being you are, and meeting more people who match your energy.
Saturn also enters your 5th house of romance this year, and you are learning a lot through your experiences with others. You are learning how to be more confident in who you are and what you want for yourself and also recognizing the importance of making more time for fun and playful experiences. This is the year to see love as a more light-hearted experience and to not take yourself too seriously.
CAPRICORN
You are letting things come to you when it comes to love this year, Capricorn. You are feeling beautiful, capable, and worthy, and you are receiving the gifts that come from this sense of confidence and patience. This past year, you were setting a lot of new goals for yourself and your relationships, and in 2025, you are experiencing the results of these efforts.
Jupiter moves into your sister sign Cancer from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026, and enters your 7th house of love, partnerships, romance, marriage, and harmony. Your love life and experience of it all are expanding this year, and benevolent Jupiter is sending blessings to this area of your life. This is a year of things coming full circle for you in love, and you feel less confused about it all and more sure of yourself and what is becoming for you here.
AQUARIUS
Love is a highlight for you this year, Aquarius. You are coming together with another, and many Aquarius’ will be forming new relationships or growing within a strong relationship. You are experiencing the fruition of your dreams in love, and are also able to heal and let go of past emotional experiences that have been overwhelming for you in the past.
The North Node enters your 12th house of closure this year, and you are motivated towards change, cleaning house, and releasing the cobwebs of the past.
You are walking into new emotional experiences with less baggage and self-doubt, and are experiencing a fresh start in love. This is a year of asking for what you need emotionally and receiving it. Love is coming in for you in harmonious and magical ways, and you are rewriting your story in love in 2025.
PISCES
You are moving through a lot of changes when it comes to love in 2025, Pisces. This is a year of closure, healing, and giving yourself a fresh start, and the way you enter the year will be a lot different than the way you end it. The North Node of Destiny enters your sign this year, and the South Node of Karma enters your 7th house of love. So, a lot of your focus this year is on your personal goals and path, and there may be some neglect or lack of focus on your relationships.
This can create some discord with those close to you, and your guidance for this year is to try to balance the personal successes and wins you are experiencing, with the love changes that also need your attention right now. Know that what leaves your life this year is being replaced by something better, and also know that your healing doesn’t need to have a timeline and you can take as much time as you need to grow. Overall, you are turning a new page in love in 2025.
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New year, new dating style. Courtesy of a former sugar baby.
Being a sugar baby had its (obvious) perks, but the most significant ones didn’t center around the material benefits. To date, I have a bigger appreciation for the lessons I’ve learned and applied them to my dating life.
Dating men of higher social status shortened my tolerance for a lot of things I was convinced were normal. I blamed the universe for attracting undesirable men when it was my fault for allowing undesirable behavior. An interesting dichotomy between those guys and sugar daddies was the treatment I accepted.
It was easier to put my foot down with men of opulence because their privilege meant there was no limit to meeting my desires. Plus, recognizing my own worth made them (the good ones) want to treat me with the same high regard.
I’ll admit you don’t NEED to be an SB to enhance your dating style, but that’s the path I journeyed. It taught me how to be gracefully tough on men based on the simple fact that I’m invaluable. I’ll never convince anyone to be an SB, but feel free to pick a few gems I learned that might take your 2025 dating style to the next level.
Don’t overdo it by showing gratitude.
Let’s stop praising men for the bare minimum.
Yes, it’s okay to make a man feel affirmed but don’t let those affirmations come off too intensely, especially for things that require minimal effort. Don’t tell him about your ex never opening the passenger door for you, don’t brag about him being "The One" because he texted to make sure you got home safely, and most definitely don’t offer up the cat just because he paid a $150 dinner bill (give it because you want to, not out of obligation).
To be honest, I barely even say thank you when a man finds me attractive. “You are so beautiful.” I would respond, “Aww, you’re so sweet.” When he holds the door open, I graze his arm and smile.
Showing too much excitement about the bare minimum strokes his ego and draws a ceiling, which he doesn’t feel he needs to surpass. It tells him you’re not used to regular treatment, so you’ll be grateful for anything. Why do more than necessary? I like my men reflecting at the end of our date, thinking, “What can I do to impress her?”
Don’t stop having manners, though. Just keep it simple and move on.
There’s no such thing as “dating for potential.”
Hold my hand with this one.
There comes a time when the word “potential” shouldn’t be a part of your dating vocabulary. It’s nothing more than the encouragement of false hope. He’s not flaky with time because his schedule is too busy between balancing family and work. It’s because you’re not important enough to prioritize making time for.
He’s not stingy on dates because he’s having a rough time handling all his financial responsibilities. It’s because he’d rather spend his money on things that don’t involve you.
Trust me when I say men don’t date with potential in mind. Many of them hold themselves in very high regard with an “I can do better” mindset, and so should you. There’s A LOT of weight in the saying, “If he wanted to he would.” So stay away from Mr. Shoulda Coulda Woulda because, at the end of the day, he didn’t.
*P.S. If he ever says he doesn’t deserve you, he’s not being sheepishly humble. Take his word for it and run.
Do NOT be afraid to say no.
How many times have you put yourself through something you didn’t want to do based on feeling obligated? You compromised yourself in order to please the person you’re dating because it seemed like the easier option. Let me just remind you of the old saying, “Nothing good in life comes easy.”
I like comparing men to children, not to demean them but to draw similarities. Children often like to push and see how much they can get away with until the parent says no. Once you allow them to get away with one thing, they’ll nudge the limits to see how often they can skate by.
Dating is just like this. Get comfortable giving rejection. It can be an uncomfortable concept for some, so consider saying no and following it with a light reason. For example, “Do you want to come over and watch Netflix?” “No, I don’t feel comfortable going to strangers’ houses.” If his response is anything but understanding with a Plan B, on to the next.
Those boundaries were created to protect you. Any man who respects you will respect them too.
Don’t lay all your cards on the table.
When a man asks, “So what exactly are you looking for?” The vaguest response comes to mind.
It’s a common mistake to think men (not all) ask questions for unselfish reasons. That one, especially, is basically like asking for cheat codes to a game. Describing your idea of a perfect man, dating intentions, etc. allows him to know who he needs to morph himself into in order to get what he wants. Enter love bombing, physical intimacy, delusions of potential, then ghosting.
I’ve said the below on a few first dates and wasn’t surprised by how quickly the guys weeded themselves out.
"I’ve been having fun figuring things out as time goes on. There are times when I love going out to meet new people and times when I love cuddling up on the couch. It depends on how I’m feeling.”
I just said a whole lotta nothing, leaving it up to him to decipher. It’s open-ended, which forces him to show his intentions and let things play out naturally with as little manipulation as possible.
The first date defines how he views you.
This is where all those conversations leading up to this day come into play.
The perfect first date doesn’t only have to consist of 5-star dining and lavish wine collections. Those are merely perks. The perfect first date is valued based on how much effort he put in to show he’s been listening.
You’ve been dropping subtle hints that tulips are your favorite flowers. Did he show up empty-handed? You shared your discomfort with driving to far places at night. Did he book a 9 p.m. reservation somewhere 30 minutes away? You told him about your new venture into veganism. Did he take you to his favorite steakhouse?
These aren’t small things and they’re DEFINITELY not things for you to take on as a challenge. These could be easy signs of a life full of selfishness and laziness if shrugged off by the belief you should be satisfied with him making time for you.
Will taking my advice find you a husband faster? Who knows? But, ultimately, dating isn’t supposed to be an earnest search for a man. It should be a time of personal growth while sorting through experiences to find a partner who will appreciate the valuable woman you are.
Having high standards for yourself doesn’t make you difficult or unreasonable. To the right man, it definitely won’t make you undateable. Like I said before, nothing good in life comes easy.
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