The most enjoyable part of sex for me is getting my pussy ate. It’s a widely known fact that eating pussy is the most reliable way to make a person with a vulva orgasm. According to a 2017 study published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, only 18% of vulva owners can orgasm solely through penetration. To climax, the rest need clitoral stimulation, and eating pussy puts the clitoris in the spotlight.
But what if the person you're with doesn't know what they're doing down there? Like with any sexual act, eating pussy can be taught. From incorporating toys to trying different positions, to using your tongue in unique ways, there are many examples of how to improve your oral sex technique. However, I believe the best tips for eating pussies come from people who have them.
So I asked around for tips from real women on how to have amazing cunnilingus. This is what the women I talked to had to say.
1. "Start slowly unless I indicate otherwise."
Kateryna Hushylo/ Getty Images2. "Oral health matters. I have patients who frequently have yeast infections and bacterial vaginosis because their partners have terrible oral care."
3. "Eat it like a very ripe mango (like when it’s a 'lil mushy) but more softly and only with your lips and tongue."
4. "Lift the [clitoral] hood! Start slow, don’t be too aggressive. The clitoris [says] please and thank you."
5. "Don't go straight for the clitoris. Warm her up. Kiss the lips like they are on her face; lots of tongue and saliva. Suck everything; lips, clit...all the things."
6. "Circle your tongue at the opening of the vagina. Slowly, like [you're] looking for something— get lost, King."
7. "Trigger points are apparently on the mons [pubis]... I was shook and I don't know what she did, but babayyyy."
8. "If you not suffocating a little bit and gotta come up for air, you not doing it right."
9. "Never underestimate the power of slipping a finger or two inside her (thoroughly cleaned) to help with the fun."
10. "Be tf soft! Soften that tongue, them lips, that finger, all that shit. Make it soft!"
Volodymyr Bushmelov /Getty Images
11. "Every vulva you meet enjoys a different way to be a tasty treat. So ask your partner if you truly don’t know which way to go. Beginner tips: suck the clit, the vagina, and lick the lips. Oh, and make it juicy. Nobody likes dry lips."
12. "Please be patient! The climax will not be instantaneous and typically will not happen expeditiously. In addition, if she says she’s almost there… DO NOT change that motion/sensation/stroke/whatever…'cause then you gotta start again to build [it] up.:
13. "Build up before going down on her. Don’t go all in. Slow down. Use your hands. Tell me I taste good, encourage me, grab my belly, my thighs, move what you gotta move out the way, and do it with honor. Don’t stuff her like a chicken. Tell her to come hither."
14. "Listen to your partner, and pay attention to not just words but what the body responds to. Ask questions like 'What do you like?' 'What feels good?' Also, eat it like it’s your last meal."
15. "For the love of everything that is good, please flatten your tongue!"
16. "When I say, 'Ooh, right there. Don’t stop.' That means wherever your mouth is, don’t stop licking right there."
17. "Ask. What. She. Likes. Can’t fail if you ask the teacher for the answers."
18. "Wipe her off with a warm towel when she’s done."
19. "The best combo is to lick and suck slightly like you would spaghetti noodles. Put the clit in your mouth, roll it around your tongue clockwise, rinse and repeat…"
20. "Enthusiasm is key! Be aware of your partner’s pleasure responses and wetness. When you hear moans—do more of that. Lick, slurp, suck, kiss. Enjoy yourself while enjoying your partner enjoy you."
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Harbucks/ Getty Images
RELATED
At the beginning of the year, we are being shown how significant 2025 will be for love. From March 1, 2025, until April 12, 2025, Venus, the planet of love and relationships, will be retrograde. Venus goes retrograde approximately every 18 months and hasn’t been retrograde since the Summer of 2023. With love taking a step back at the beginning of the year, we move through a time of understanding the emotional world better and letting go of trying to control outcomes here.
What Does 2025 Have in Store for Love?
It’s time to refocus your relationship priorities overall, and with this retrograde happening in both Aries and Pisces, Aries being the first sign of the zodiac and Pisces being the last; there is a chapter we are closing and a new one we are walking into.
Another significant factor that is influencing relationships this year, is Jupiter’s entry into Cancer. Jupiter brings blessings, abundance, luck, and expansion, and in water sign Cancer, brings these gifts to your emotions. Cancer rules emotional safety, foundations, close loved ones, family, support, and emotional well-being, and with Jupiter in this sign from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026, we experience blessings in stability within love. This is a good year for building stronger foundations in love, aligning with those who are loyal and supportive, knowing what you need emotionally, and being a lot clearer on it.
Letting Go of the Past: The Astrological Theme of 2025
Overall, the guideline for the year when it comes to love is to focus on the bigger picture and let things work themselves out without forcing them to. Magic will come in for you this year when you can assess your needs and wants, let go of illusions or smoke and mirrors, and focus on the things you want for yourself rather than what you don’t. Your focus and beliefs on love are the priority right now, and things will be coming full circle for the better.
Read below to see your personal 2025 love forecast. Read for your sun, moon, and rising signs.
ARIES
2025 is one of the more significant years for you, Aries. A lot of the major transits are happening in your sign, which includes Venus retrograde in Aries at the beginning of the year, Neptune in Aries from March 2025 until 2039, and Saturn in Aries from May 2025 until 2028. Not to mention, Chiron, the wounded healer is currently in your sign until 2027.
What this means for you when it comes to love, is that you have learned a lot about where you want to be here, and it’s the year to implement more of these tools and knowledge of the heart.
This year for love is about honoring your integrity and what you need personally to thrive in life and creating that space to let it in. You need someone who will be there for you through whatever you are experiencing in life and not someone who adds to these challenges. This year is a time of rising above, and choosing better for yourself.
TAURUS
2025 for you when it comes to love, is all about perspective and taking better care of your heart, Taurus. Uranus, the planet of change, rebellion, progress, and upheaval, has been in your sign since 2019, and this year you get a break from all of the surprises. From Jul. 7, 2025, until Nov. 7, 2025, Uranus leaves your sign and enters Gemini, giving your mind and your heart some time to breathe.
This year you are being given the opportunity to see things for what they are, rather than what you fear them to be. You are able to see your relationship dynamics clearer, allowing you to feel more confident in what you are building and creating for yourself in this area of your life. What you are working on this year is letting go of overthinking, and allowing things to play out the way they are meant to in love.
GEMINI
This year you are feeling in balance when it comes to love, Gemini. Relationships are important to you in life overall, as you are a relationship-oriented sign, but it can be difficult at times to keep the balance and perspective here. This year, with lucky Jupiter in your sign until June, you have the opportunity to be blessed with some fortunate circumstances personally and within romance.
You are feeling yourself this year, and this is attracting you success and new opportunities within love.
Uranus will also be in your sign this year from Jul. 7 until Nov. 7, and some surprises are in store for you. Pay attention to what happens in your love life during this period, as similar themes will be coming back around for you when Uranus officially enters its Gemini transit from 2026 - 2032. Overall, this year is about balancing what’s coming and going in love, and finding your peace within your inner confidence for it all.
CANCER
2025 for you, Cancer, is about stability in love. You are growing emotionally from the ground up, and are feeling a sense of support, confidence, romance, and receptivity in your love life this year. You are one of the lucky signs of 2025, and this is due to Jupiter, the planet of blessings, entering your sign from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026. While Jupiter is in your sign, your life expands and you are able to see the gifts of your world that may have been harder to come by previously.
This is a year of spending more time with your loved ones and feeling more heard and supported emotionally. Safety and security are especially important to you this year, and you are only entertaining the people who feel that way about you and provide that. Many Cancers will be expanding their families this year or developing a long-term relationship, and overall this is a year of feeling stronger when it comes to love.
LEO
When it comes to love this year for you, Leo, it’s about trusting your intuition and listening more to what your heart is telling you. There are not many major transits happening in Leo in 2025, which means there is a lot of room to grow, but you may be feeling a lack of support or encouragement to do so. A lot of Leos are taking a step back to look at where they are currently in love, and yearning for some change and a new direction here.
Neptune will be in your 9th house of adventure for most of this year, and you are being asked to get inspired and do things differently, but don’t take unnecessary risks in love that may not serve you in the long run.
It can be easy to get lost in the fantasy of love rather than the actual reality you’ll live in here, and taking more time to understand yourself, your relationships, and the dynamics in your love life will be necessary. Overall, your heart is healing this year and you are moving away from the past and creating your new future.
VIRGO
This year when it comes to love, you are going through changes that are aligning you closer to your goals and dreams here, Virgo. You are focused on making things work that you want to see bloom, and also letting go of putting effort into people that aren’t reciprocating the same energy. With the North Node entering your sister sign Pisces and the South Node moving into your sign from Jan. 11, 2025, until Jul. 26, 2026, you are doing a lot of letting go over the next year.
However, with the North Node being in your 7th house of love, new doors and gifts are also opening up for you and your partnerships. The more you can let go of perfection and overworking your mind and your heart, the more blessings you will experience when it comes to love this year. In 2025, you also have two Eclipses in your sign, and there are overall a lot of changes Virgos are moving through this year. Your main guidance for love is to stand by the things that serve your heart and release yourself from what burdens it.
LIBRA
Love is coming to fruition for you this year, Libra. You have been through a lot in your personal life these past few years, and walking into 2025, you are ready for some positive change. This is a year of feeling in balance with your personal goals and dreams, and what you are experiencing romantically and financially as well. Relationship dynamics are serving you and your sense of abundance, and many gifts are coming your way in love this year.
With Neptune, Chiron, and Saturn all being in your 7th house of love, your love life and partnerships are the main focus for you in 2025.
You are moving through changes, overcoming previous obstacles, and bringing back the dreamy energy here. With Chiron in the 7th, you are still doing some healing of the heart, but with Neptune now entering, it all feels a little more romantic and spiritual at the same time. This year is about believing in the impossible in love, taking care of yourself, and allowing someone else to take care of you as well.
SCORPIO
This year is all about opportunity when it comes to love, Scorpio. You have your eyes on the prize and are focused on what you want for yourself, but also how you want to show up for love as well. You have goals and intentions that you are setting for your love life this year, and a lot of them reflect the passion and strength you are feeling as you enter the year. Vesta is in your sign this year until September, and you have a spark within you that is a magnet for success and love. You are walking forward confidently and are feeling inspired, sexy, and magical this year.
This is a very sensual and powerful year for you, and this energy is being reflected in the relationship experiences you are having. Jupiter also enters your 9th house of adventure halfway through the year, and there is something special about the trips you are taking and the risks you are taking in love. Overall, this is a year of doing things your way and attracting love to you through your inner confidence and charisma.
SAGITTARIUS
This is a beautiful year of feeling balanced and abundant in love, Sagittarius. There is a lot of energy coming in and you are giving a lot of love as well. This sense of synergy you are feeling within your love life this year has a lot to do with Juno, the asteroid of soulmates, in your sign from Feb. 19 - Apr. 15. Your people are coming in and you have options this year, Sag.
This is a year of feeling loved for the inspiring, outgoing, and unique being you are, and meeting more people who match your energy.
Saturn also enters your 5th house of romance this year, and you are learning a lot through your experiences with others. You are learning how to be more confident in who you are and what you want for yourself and also recognizing the importance of making more time for fun and playful experiences. This is the year to see love as a more light-hearted experience and to not take yourself too seriously.
CAPRICORN
You are letting things come to you when it comes to love this year, Capricorn. You are feeling beautiful, capable, and worthy, and you are receiving the gifts that come from this sense of confidence and patience. This past year, you were setting a lot of new goals for yourself and your relationships, and in 2025, you are experiencing the results of these efforts.
Jupiter moves into your sister sign Cancer from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026, and enters your 7th house of love, partnerships, romance, marriage, and harmony. Your love life and experience of it all are expanding this year, and benevolent Jupiter is sending blessings to this area of your life. This is a year of things coming full circle for you in love, and you feel less confused about it all and more sure of yourself and what is becoming for you here.
AQUARIUS
Love is a highlight for you this year, Aquarius. You are coming together with another, and many Aquarius’ will be forming new relationships or growing within a strong relationship. You are experiencing the fruition of your dreams in love, and are also able to heal and let go of past emotional experiences that have been overwhelming for you in the past.
The North Node enters your 12th house of closure this year, and you are motivated towards change, cleaning house, and releasing the cobwebs of the past.
You are walking into new emotional experiences with less baggage and self-doubt, and are experiencing a fresh start in love. This is a year of asking for what you need emotionally and receiving it. Love is coming in for you in harmonious and magical ways, and you are rewriting your story in love in 2025.
PISCES
You are moving through a lot of changes when it comes to love in 2025, Pisces. This is a year of closure, healing, and giving yourself a fresh start, and the way you enter the year will be a lot different than the way you end it. The North Node of Destiny enters your sign this year, and the South Node of Karma enters your 7th house of love. So, a lot of your focus this year is on your personal goals and path, and there may be some neglect or lack of focus on your relationships.
This can create some discord with those close to you, and your guidance for this year is to try to balance the personal successes and wins you are experiencing, with the love changes that also need your attention right now. Know that what leaves your life this year is being replaced by something better, and also know that your healing doesn’t need to have a timeline and you can take as much time as you need to grow. Overall, you are turning a new page in love in 2025.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Anchiy/Getty Images
So, as you’re out doing your semi-last-minute holiday shopping, keep a browser open on your phone with this article in it. A few of these things could be great stocking stuffers for others — and definitely some ways to pamper your own skin before the new year officially begins.
2025 Skincare Trends
Getty Images
1. Satin Skin
Another word for satin skin is demi-matte. Why? Because it’s a nice “marriage” of having dewy skin without excess shine. Although this trend is technically a type of make-up technique, I thought it was important to lead with it for two reasons: one, if you are someone who likes to wear cosmetics on a regular basis, it can help you to achieve a pretty natural look and two, there’s no way that satin skin can happen without applying a rich moisturizer as your base — and since well-moisturized skin makes any skin type look amazing, well…there ya go. (By the way, it appears that a lot of us Black folks like Elf’s Soft Glam Satin Foundation in order to achieve satin skin; a video here can show you why.)
2. LED Light Therapy Masks
Whether you’re looking to speed up the healing process of pimples, reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, treat hyperpigmentation, soothe the symptoms that are associated with eczema, or even address excessive hair shedding (check out “We Shed More Hair During The Fall. Here's What To Do About It.”), LED light therapy can help you out. The way that it works is that different colors come with different wavelengths that can penetrate your skin (and scalp) and improve it (with consistent treatment).
For instance, while red light therapy helps to reduce inflammation, blue light therapy helps to fight bacteria. The easiest (and fastest) way to get these benefits as far as your face is concerned is to invest in an LED light therapy mask. If you’d like to read some reviews on some popular ones, Glamour has you covered right here.
Getty Images
3. Focusing on the Neck
IT DOESN’T MATTER HOW YOUNG YOUR FACE LOOKS IF YOUR NECK LOOKS OLD AS HELL. I’m yelling it because it seems like this is a fact of life that so many people continue to ignore. SMDH. I can’t tell you how many celebrities I see online, pretty much on a daily basis, who look great from the chin up — oh, but their neck immediately gives their age away (if it doesn’t cause them to look older).
And although genetics do indeed play somewhat of a role, the reality is that if folks did things like exfoliate their neck on a weekly basis, hydrate it with a moisturizer that contains ceramides (check out “So, What Does Menopausal Skincare Consist Of Exactly?”) and got some additional vitamin A into their system (it helps to stimulate the production of collagen and elastin, so that skin has more flexibility and youth), it would cease to be as much of an issue. So yes, I’m thrilled that neck care is a peak skincare trend for 2025.
4. Ectoin
Something that you are definitely going to hear about more and more in the new year is an amino acid derivative known as ectoin. What’s dope about it is ecotin is a natural compound that has the ability to protect your skin from dehydration, increase your skin’s elasticity, and improve its overall texture too; it does this by keeping your skin’s layers hydrated while protecting them from environmental damage. For a list of some skincare products that have ecotin in them, check out Harper's BAZAAR’s article on the topichere.
Getty Images
5. Microbiome-Infuse Skincare
It’s kind of wild, just how much the word “microbiome” has come into my space lately. For instance, I recently penned, “What Is Your Vaginal Microbiome? How Does It Affect Your Overall Health?” for the platform. Anyway, as one of my friends says, the “longer story less long” is microbiome is a collection of things like bacteria, viruses, and fungi that are naturally in and on our body. When it comes to your skin, specifically, there are more companies that are creating things that are touted as “microbiome-infused products.” What does that actually mean?
Basically, they are items that will help to keep the good bacteria in and on you in check, so that the bad doesn’t overtake it. What that means is these products will contain probiotics, prebiotics, and live cultures that will work to balance out your skin’s pH and flora. You can check out some of these products by going to your favorite search engine and putting “microbiome” or “probiotic” lotion or serum in the search field.
6. Tinted Moisturizer
Back before I figured out a skincare regimen that would get my skin to the close-to-flawless state that it is in now (hallelujah!), I used tinted moisturizer. To this day, I’m a fan because it’s a way to provide natural coverage to your skin, so you don’t have to look like you have a ton of makeup on. Not only that, but tinted moisturizer deeply hydrates, can smooth out the texture of your skin, and it’s versatile enough that you can use it all year round. So, are there any downsides? Eh.
I guess the main thing to remember is it’s not designed to provide full coverage (if that’s what you are after). Oh, and many of them don’t contain as much SPF protection as they probably should, so you may want to apply a thin coat of (facial) sunscreen before using it. The Cut has a list of tinted moisturizers for our (Black) skin here.
Getty Images
7. Exosomes
If one of your biggest priorities in the new year is to repair your skin, you might want to speak with a dermatologist about exosomes. Probably the best way to explain them is they are tiny particles that are used to repair skin tissues. Typically, they are applied following a microneedling or laser treatment in order to reduce inflammation, speed up the healing process, and also to give your skin a significant boost of collagen and elastin.
While we’re here, you may also want to speak with a dermatologist about whether there are exosome serums that may be good for your skin even without these types of treatments.
8. Natural Lashes
Listen y’all, “to each their own” has never rang more true than when it comes to eyelashes. That said, though, I doubt any of you would be shocked that I am BEYOND THRILLED that these extremely thick-and-long-how-do-you-even-see-anything eyelashes are starting to take a backseat. In 2025, natural lashes will be getting more attention, along with tips on how to get the most out of the ones that you were actually born with. If you’d like to get a head start, check out “Bat An Eye: 10 Ways To Naturally Grow Your Lashes.”
Getty Images
9. Overnight Masks
Although it might seem kind of drastic to put a product on your skin or in your hair overnight — hey, don’t knock it until you have tried it. Take batana oil, for example (check out “Batana Oil Is What Your Skin & Hair Have Been Needing Since...Yesterday”). If you Google it, a lot of articles will say that you should only leave it in your hair for a few minutes before rinsing it out. Chile, please. I happily bathe my skin and hair in that stuff a few times a week and leave it there — and I’ve been flourishing since. Same goes for overnight face masks.
Although it might seem a bit excessive to have pseudo-heavy products on your face and neck (and, more specifically, your pores) for hours on end, overnight masks are made up of ingredients that are specifically designed to penetrate your skin’s top layers in order to provide hydration, healing, and glowing skin. Wanna learn which ones would (probably) be best for you? Elle has a list here and Byrdie has a list here.
10. “Less Is More”
If there is one way to tie all of this in together, it’s the fact that pretty much all of these upcoming skincare trends are about bringing out the most in your natural beauty so that you truly can take the “less is more” approach to cosmetics. Not that make-up is bad or anything because, I have said several times before, there are folks out here who take make-up application to new levels and truly turn it into an art form.
All I’m saying is I’m happy that these popular treatments are making their way to the forefront because that will hopefully encourage people to run out to the store (more) without worrying about putting make-up on and caring for their skin instead of hiding behind layers of foundation. Yeah, if 2025 is going to be about “traveling light,” even when it comes to beauty…I am all for it!
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Anastasiia Krivenok/Getty Images