Period pain. Lawd. Could there be something that is more annoying, especially since it happens every 28-30 days? Like, c'mon. If you've ever wondered about the science behind it all, basically, we need our uterus to contract, so that it can shed the lining that accumulated, just in case we conceived in between cycles. And so, what basically happens is, the prostaglandins levels in our system increase which trigger inflammation and also period pain, so that the blood is able to flow from our bodies.
When the cramping and total discomfort begin to set in, while your first inclination may be to pop as many ibuprofens as you can (because they are anti-inflammatories in medicine form), did you know that there are certain drinks that can help to ease what you are going through too? So, the next time you head out to stock up on pads, tampons, over the-counter-meds and whatever else can get you through, get at least two of these 10 drinks as well. I've tried several before and can vouch for the fact that they make periods easier to deal with. Thank the Lord.
1. Orange Juice
When it comes to this topic, orange juice is a good place to start. That's because it's loaded with Vitamin C while also being a good source of protein, folate and potassium. As far as general health benefits go, orange juice is good for you because it is high in antioxidants, improves your digestive health, assists with preventing kidney-related diseases, keeps your eyesight in great shape (thanks to the beta-carotene that is in it) and, the flavonoids (hesperidin and anthocyanins) that are in orange juice, they even help to regenerate damaged cells. The magnesium that's also in orange juice can make period cramping less intense. Plus, its potassium can help to decrease the amount of bleeding that you do as well as help with making period pain less intense.
2. Oat Milk
Although I'm a fan of almond milk (when it comes to how it tastes), once I discovered how bad it is for the environment (you can read more about what goes into making almond milk here), I switched over to oat milk. I have absolutely no regrets either. Oat milk is a good source of protein, dietary fiber, Vitamin B12, calcium and phosphorus. If you happen to be vegan and happen to have a nut allergy, because it's only made of oats and water, it's totally fine for you to drink. Plus, it's great for your bone health, can help to lower your cholesterol levels, will increase your energy levels, support the health of your blood cells and, thanks to all of the fiber in it, oat milk can keep you regular too.
And what does oat milk do for period pain? Well, two other nutrients that are found in oat milk are magnesium and zinc. This combo can reduce the uterine contractions that lead to cramping while helping to settle your nerves so that you can rest easier at night.
3. Cinnamon Tea
If you like tea that is a bit on the spicy 'n sweet side, look no further than cinnamon tea. As far as health benefits go, it's packed with antioxidants, helps to lower your blood sugar levels, assists with eliminating bacteria and fungal overgrowth and can even improve your skin by fighting signs of aging and reducing breakouts. The reason why it's so dope to drink when you're on your period is because cinnamon tea contains properties that reduce bodily inflammation which can help to decrease menstrual-related discomfort and bleeding. Awesome.
4. Banana and Kiwi Smoothies
While my periods aren't rough on the pain tip, the second day of my flow is so ridiculous that sometimes I'm too tired to do a lot of cooking. That's where smoothies come in because they are quick and easy to make yet, depending what you put in them, they are still loaded with nutrients. Take a banana and kiwi smoothie, for example. Bananas are good for you because they are full of fiber, protein, antioxidants, and some vitamins B6 and C, potassium and manganese. All of this helps to improve your digestive health, regulate your blood sugar, prevent muscle cramping and increase kidney health. Plus, the dopamine in bananas is helpful when it comes to keeping you in a positive mood. The Vitamin B6, along with the potassium in them can make cramping less severe.
As far as kiwi goes, talk about a little fruit that packs a powerful punch! Kiwi has fiber, copper, potassium, antioxidants, vitamins C, E, K and so much more in it. Also, kiwi has a reputation for easing asthma-related symptoms, regulating blood pressure, improving digestion, boosting immunity and helping to prevent chronic diseases from setting in. It's awesome when it comes to your period because the properties in kiwi can also help to prevent blood clotting. If your period pain is directly related to clotting, I'm sure you can see why this is certainly good news to know.
5. Kombucha
Kombucha is a fermented form of green or black tea which definitely makes it an acquired taste. Still, it's one of the healthiest drinks around because it's loaded with antioxidants, is powerful when it comes to getting rid of bad bacteria in your system, it's great at helping to manage type 2 diabetes, it can reduce your heart disease risk and, it can even help to slow down the growth of cancer cells. There are two main reasons why it's so beneficial when you're on your period. First, something else that kombucha contains a high amount of is B vitamins. This is good to know because they can help to stabilize your moods. Also, there are tons of probiotics in this kind of drink which makes it something that can bring balance to your hormones so that period-related discomfort is less, well, uncomfortable.
6. Dark Chocolate Milk
It's kinda crazy that something as good as dark chocolate comes with as many nutrients that it does. It's got a ton of fiber and also has an unbelievable amount of iron, magnesium, copper, antioxidants and manganese. It's also a good source of zinc, potassium and selenium. Because properties in dark chocolate can help to relax your arteries, it has a way of increasing easier blood circulation/flow, lowering your blood pressure, improving your brain function, protecting your skin from damaging sun rays and decreasing your stroke risk.
Period-wise, the potassium and zinc can soothe uterine contractions and the iron can replace some of it that's lost during your cycle. And, since calcium assists with reducing bloating and fatigue, whether you opt for milk or a milk alternative, dark chocolate milk is a delicious way to bring much period-related relief.
7. Watermelon Smoothies
Whenever I think of the health benefits of consuming watermelon, the first thing I think about is how it has a reputation for being "the all-natural Viagra", thanks to the amino acid called citrulline in it that helps to relax blood vessels. Anyway, some of its other pluses include the fact that it's got a good amount of vitamins A, C and also Vitamin E (which is great because it has anti-inflammatory properties in it). Watermelon also contains compounds that help to fight cancer, improve heart health, reduce stress, decrease muscle soreness and improve the quality of your skin. If smoothies are totally your thing, a watermelon smoothie while you're on your period absolutely won't hurt a bit since it is able to hydrate you and help to increase easy blood flow, so that your cramping won't be quite as painful.
8. Ginger Tea
Ginger tea is another spicy kind of tea that is really good around "that time of the month". That's because it also has anti-inflammatory properties in it, along with pain-relieving ones that can make cramps more tolerable and bloating less noticeable. Some other benefits of this particular kind of tea include the fact that it can help to reduce your blood pressure, ease the pain that's associated with headaches and migraines, aid in weight loss, soothe feelings related to nausea and, because it also has a lot of antioxidants in it, it can help to boost your immunity too.
9. Mocktails
One thing that your period tends to do is dehydrate you. And so, if you're someone who, as soon as your cramps set in, the first thing you think is "Damn, I need a drink", try and go for a mocktail (an alcohol-free drink) instead of an actual cocktail. The reason why is because alcohol can sho 'nuf dehydrate you and, when that happens, it can lead to headaches, bloating, nausea, diarrhea, fatigue, increased cramping and all sorts of other drama. While we're here, also avoid sugary drinks during this time of the month because they can have your moods being all over the place. That said, even when it comes to your mocktails, try and go with ones that don't have loads of sugar in them. Your period will certainly thank you.
10. Water
We're made up of over 60 percent water so, of course, our system needs it. This is especially the case during our period since we tend to lose body fluids which can make period pain that much worse. If you add to this the fact that water also flushes out toxins, helps to keep you regular, boosts energy levels, protects organs and tissues, cushions joints, keeps your body temperature stabilized, aids in digestion, supports weight loss, clears skin and treats headaches — if you drink nothing else on this list, make sure to get no less than 6-8 glasses of water. It will definitely do a body good…especially when you're on your period.
To learn more about all things vaginal health and wellness, check out the xoNecole Women's Health section here.
Featured image by Getty Images
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Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
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What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
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Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
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And that is why, while I was recently out in cyberspace seeing what the topic of sex had to offer (of merit), a particular study especially caught my attention. The reason why is because, while the topic of faking orgasms has been explored, pretty much ad nauseam at this point, what I haven’t personally seen a lot and enough of is how to stop them from happening so much and when people do them, what personally caused them to in the first place.
Today, we’re going to strive to get down to the root of some of those queries. And so, if you’ve always been curious about how to make the cycle of faking orgasms stop, this piece just might shed a little light. Here’s hoping anyway, chile.
Faking Orgasms. Why I Loathe It So.
GiphyDo you ever stop to think about certain songs from back in the day and wonder if they were released now, would people try to cancel them (hmph, as if this culture ever really cancels anybody for really anything, right?)? An example of what I mean is Alexander O’Neal’s song, “Fake”. If you’re too young to know it, or it’s been a while since you’ve heard it, feel free to go back and listen to the lyrics in order to grasp where I am coming from.
And why am I bringing it up in the context of today’s conversation? Well, whenever I think about folks faking orgasms, that song almost instantly plays in the background of my mind because, while he’s basically talking about the word from the definition of “to conceal the defects of or make appear more attractive, interesting, valuable, etc.,” when I think of “faking it” in a sexual way, definitions like “to deceive,” “to pretend” and “anything made to appear otherwise than it actually is” are what I ponder — because y’all, I don’t care how many people do it, how can any of those definitions truly be good, right or helpful when it comes to copulation? Deceiving your partner into thinking that you climaxed when you actually didn’t? Pretending to be satisfied when you actually aren’t? Making sex appear like it’s one kind of experience for you when it actually…isn’t? SMDH. Yeah, that is something that I can never personally get behind, which is why I once penned, “Why You Should Stop Faking Orgasms ASAP” for the platform. To me, since sex is about establishing a profound mental, emotional, and physical connection, how can that truly and authentically happen if one or both involved individuals are not being honest with each other about what they want, need and desire in order to make that happen?
Yeah, when it comes to the ever so popular fake orgasms, I’ll pass and will forever encourage others to do the same.
Faking Orgasms. Why So Many People Do It.
GiphyHere’s what’s wild, though — even if what I just said made complete and total sense to you, there’s still a really good chance that you’ve faked at least one orgasm before (check out “So, 10 Women Sat Down And Told Me Why They Fake Orgasms...More Times Than Not”). Know what else? There’s also a good chance that your partner has done the same (check out “Men Fake Orgasms (And 14 Other Semi-Random Things About Them In Bed)”. And why is it that so many continue to do it, even if, in the back of their mind, they believe that it’s at least somewhat counterproductive?
Well, from the personal conversations (and coaching sessions) that I’ve had with both men and women, the top reason for why so many men fake orgasms is because they don’t want to hurt their partner’s feelings by telling them that the sex isn’t as good as they might think that it is, and when it comes to women, they fake in order to hurry up and get the experience over with — which, when you really think about it, for both genders, the motives are pretty much two sides of the same coin: people not being satisfied and trying to avoid sharing that reality with their partner.
OK, butwhat does science say is the main cause for men and women faking it? Well, a top reason for whya lot of men decide to go that route is because they simply want to get the experience over with (although being unable to orgasm due to drunkenness, medication, and/or boredom ranked pretty highly, too). And women? Difficulty achieving an orgasm is the biggest one (check out “How Can You Know For Sure That You've Had An Orgasm?” and “Ladies, Please Stop Pressuring Yourself Over Vaginal Orgasms”). Hmph, when I stop to take this all in, I find both reasons to be unfortunate. On the male tip, is it just me, or does it seem like there is a real disconnect of intimacy if that is why men fake it? What I mean by that is, if you’d rather “hurry up and get done” — are you having sex with your partner or at your partner (some of y’all will catch that later)? And, as far as the ladies go, if you are so uncomfortable and/or self-conscious and/or embarrassed about not being able to climax to the point that you will lie and say that you did — do you trust your partner enough to tell him the truth and then are you willing to work through the process of achieving an orgasm…together?
These types of questions are what piqued my curiosity when I happened upon a study of over 11,000 participants that transpired over in the UK. The focal point of it? Since faking orgasms is so prevalent, what actually causes people to stop? Because listen, none of us are actually going to get anywhere if we only focus on the problem and don’t seek to find some sort of solution (lawd).
Faking Orgasms. What Actually Makes People Stop.
GiphyOK, so from what I’ve read and researched, The Journal of Sex Research hassemi-recently published the study that I was just referring to. Before we get into what caused people to stop lying — umm, faking orgasms, check out these findings first:
·51 percent of participants claimed to have never faked an orgasm before
·Close to 66 percent of men and 34 percent of women say that they have faked an orgasm
·Almost 19 percent of men and 35 percent of women say that although they have faked one in the past, they have since stopped
·Almost nine percent of men and 20 percent of women are currently “faking it”
Yeah, I already know. The discrepancies between the men and women are quite noticeable. Let’s keep going, though, because the reason for why men and women decided to stop is the main reason why we’re all here — plus, it’s pretty interesting.
So, when it comes to the demographic of individuals who no longer fake it, what brought them to that point and place? Fascinatingly enough, around 26 percent of both men and women said that the communication between them and their partner improved while 24 percent of both men and women said that it was because their partner became more attentive. Well looka there — when couples connected on a mental and emotional level, the physical aspect of sex got better. Some other points did come into play, though:
·Around 29 percent of women and 25 percent of men decided to be content without having an orgasm
·Around 19 percent of men and 18 percent of women decided to get orgasms on their own (i.e., masturbate)
·Around 19 percent of men and (wow) two percent of women were caught faking it
·Around 15 percent of men and 10 percent are currently not having sex
OK, so when you read all of that, what tripped you out the most? As someone who works with married couples and is a huge advocate of them gettingthe most pleasure possible out of their sexual experiences, honestly, the first three (because, if you are married, please don’t settle fora sexless dynamic). I’ll break down why for each one.
First, if you used to fake orgasms and no longer do because you have settled for — pardon the pun — anti-climatic copulation…settling is exactly what you are doing. Listen, even if you’re not able to achieve a vaginal orgasm (and many women are not), it’s important to remember that there are oh so many other kinds to choose from (check out “U-Spot Orgasm, Fantasy Orgasm & 6 Other Orgasms You Should Try Tonight”). And what if you’ve tried those and still there are nofireworks? Make an appointment to see your doctor (to get your hormone levels checked) and/or a sex therapist (check out “Have You Ever Wondered If You Should See A Sex Therapist?”). Remember, the reason whyyou have a clitoris is so that you can experience the heights of sexual pleasure. If that’s not happening for you, it’s important to do all that you can to get to the root of why.
Secondly, not faking it because you have taken matters into your own hands — literally. So, here’s my issue with that. Unfortunately, our culture is so lust-crazed that we tend to forget (or is it ignore?) that sex shouldn’t ONLY be about cumming; sex should also be about connecting. And so, while masturbation may help you out in the climaxing department, it’s essential to not get so used to it that you fail to bond with your partner or that you put up walls of resentment because there are things that are happening when you’re alone that aren’t happening when the two of you are together. In other words, don’t let jacking off or solo sex toy experiences get in the way of heartfelt and honest conversations with your partner about your sexual needs (check out “How To Get More Of What You Need In The Bedroom” and “Sooo...What's Your Favorite TYPE Of Sex?”).
Finally, getting caught lying — again, I mean, faking it. Yeah, I know that I’m not the only one who noticed that there is a pretty big difference between how many women caught their man acting like he had an orgasm when he didn’t vs. how many men noticed that their lady acting like she had an orgasm when she didn’t. To that, let me first say that if you thought, “If a man ejaculated, he came. Duh” — look updry orgasms sometime. Believe it or not, it is possible for men to orgasm without cumming. And to the fellas (who may be reading this): I continue to be amazed by how you can’t tell if a woman is faking it because even if she is yelling and screaming at the top of her lungs, if her vagina isn’t contracting, guess what? Yeah, between that and extra lubrication coming from her vaginal area —those are pretty common signs that an orgasm has transpired; this basically means that if you don’t notice these things going down, how attentive of a sex partner are you? #justsaying3 Tips to Avoid Faking Orgasms
GiphyNow that you know what science says about why people fake orgasms, did any of the intel surprise you? More importantly, if you can personally relate to what was said, did any of the information inspire you to make some changes in your own sex life? Yeah, if faking orgasms is indeed a thing in your own world right now, as I close this out, here's three quick tips:
1. Remember the definitions of fake. Never forget them. Deception. Pretending. Making something look like something that it is not. No time to get into all of this today, yet I have worked with many people who fake orgasms and…fake other things in their relationship. You don’t want to deceive your partner or yourself. It’s not going to help the relationship. Ultimately, it’s only going to cause hurt and/or harm. Communicate your thoughts and feelings in the way that you would like to hear someone convey theirs to you (respectfully, thoughtfully, etc.); do make sure to share them, though.
2. Stop “performing”. Start being REAL. Know who fakes a lot of orgasms? Porn actors (I prefer to call them that over “porn stars”). That’s because sex work is…work; it’s a billion-dollar industry that people get paid to act like sex is always the bomb. You’re not a porn actor, so why put that kind of pressure on yourself? No matter what the reasons are for why an orgasm isn’t coming for you, if you are having sex with someone who can’t handle the realness of the reasons or “worse”, doesn’t care — don’t put that on the sex or yourself. Sis, you are simply sleeping with the wrong person/people.
3. If you build it, one way or another, it will come…and you will cum.Do orgasms come easier for some than others? 1000 and 10 percent. That is absolutely not the point, though. If experiencing this type of pleasure is what you long for, with the help of your intentions, your partner’s willingness, and if need be, professional assistance, you can get there. Not by faking it — by being honest about the fact that you need more time, patience, and empathy.
____
Clearly, faking orgasms is a common thing; that doesn’t mean that it has to be the case for you, though. As you unpack what has made you start, process how to make it all stop.
Hmph. Better to take a while in order to experience what true bliss feels like than to keep faking it and never really know.
Words to live — and lie down — by. #wink
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