

My mind often returns back to the day of Nipsey Hussle’s funeral when his partner Lauren London took to the stage at his televised service and spoke about their relationship. In one of the many profound moments of her eulogy, it’s when she said “grief is the final act of love,” that stayed with me the most.
I thought about those words a lot in the past week after the death of Queen Elizabeth II at the age of 96 garnered controversy after two Black female professors made international news after calling attention to the monarchy and by extension the Queen’s history of colonial violence.
“I heard the chief monarch of a thieving raping genocidal empire is finally dying,” Carnegie Mellon professor Uju Anya tweeted in a now removed-by-Twitter tweet. “May her pain be excruciating.”
RISD professor Zoe Samudzi also tweeted:
“As the first generation of my family not born in a British colony, I would dance on the graves of every member of the royal family if given the opportunity, especially [Queen Elizabeth II],” RISD
They were far from the only ones calling out the Queen’s legacy; a stadium full of Irish soccer fans gleefully chanted “Lizzie’s in a box,” when they heard the news. And yet the richest man in the world and owner of The Washington Post Jeff Bezos, used his power to single Anya out for her tweet, leading her institution Carnegie Mellon to condemn her in their own Twitter statement.
British tabloid The Daily Mail singled out t both Professors Anya and Samudzi for condemnation in an article, spawning thousands of trolls to harass them, justifying their ire with the notion that death absolves someone of the harm and abuse they committed while they were alive — or at the very least should prompt people to refrain from talking about it.
Death brings an end to someone’s life, but it doesn’t bring an end to the way someone made people feel or their reverberating impact on the world.
Let them tell it, Elizabeth was either a frail old woman with no power or agency as the figurehead of colonial rule for her 72-year-reign, or she was so powerful that she had a hand in decolonizing the countries that were seized by her Empire (and, of course, rebelled and won their independence from her rule without her help).
Aside from the obvious point that death doesn’t erase the things people did while they were alive, mourning is just one of the many ways we continue to express the love that we already feel towards someone. Death brings an end to someone’s life, but it doesn’t bring an end to the way someone made people feel or their reverberating impact on the world.
The racist and misogynist backlash that these Black women have been singled out by the media to receive exposes who monopolizes our empathy and grace in life and in death. In the wake of Elizabeth II's death, hospital appointments, surgeries, funerals, and more have been canceled to "show respect" for her funeral, which matters more than the continuing lives of the people in the UK. Not to mention, the deaths of millions of Black and brown people who lived in British colonies, whose lives were sacrificed for the maintenance of British rule, don’t elicit mass sympathy. There aren’t weeks of televised mourning in their honor. They simply become nebulous collateral, mere casualties in the project to maintain white British hegemony.
A way to ensure that people don't celebrate your death is to live a life that doesn’t bring people endless pain.
In an interview with The Guardian explaining her tweet, professor Anya spoke about the family she lost in the Nigerian civil war, a direct result of British colonizers creating the boundaries of Nigeria and founding it as a colony of Britain. Though the war took place seven years after Nigeria won its independence, the UK government sent money and arms to the Nigerian government for the war against the Igbo people in the south, to maintain its control of the country – the extent of which was only recently revealed in 2020. “‘We lost half of our relatives,” Anya shared. “That’s the legacy of this war. It was a genocide, a slaughter, a holocaust.”
Sometimes love and mourning towards our departed loved ones manifests as anger toward the institutions and figureheads that are responsible for their deaths. A way to ensure that people don't celebrate your death is to live a life that doesn’t bring people endless pain.
Queen Elizabeth II is survived by a legacy of colonialism, imperialism, and white supremacy. She leaves behind decades of bloodshed, violence, and carnage in the name of royalty. Her death ends her life but it doesn’t end the memory of the destruction to come under her reign. Silencing her critics only serves to whitewash the UK’s violent imperialism and colonialism. As Zora Neale Hurston said, “If you are silent about your pain, they’ll kill you and say you enjoyed it." May peace and power be with the ones whose blood was spilled to build the United Kingdom.
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'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Synthetic Braiding Hair & Chemicals: What To Know & What To Do Next
When I was younger, one of my favorite hairstyles was cornrows. I would get them long (as long as mom would allow me to get) with beads on the end. To get the length I wanted, I would add synthetic braiding hair.
Just like many other Black women I know, going to the hair store with my mom or other family members to grab a pack of kanekalon braiding hair was the norm. As I grew up and advanced, so did the hair industry.
Now, when you go to the hair store you are inundated with all kinds of hair textures, colors, and more. That’s why it was so upsetting to read the latest report about synthetic braiding hair.
Delmaine Donson/ Getty Images
A Feb 27 Consumer Reports article revealed that most popular synthetic hair brands that are used for braiding have dangerous chemicals such as carcinogens, lead and volatile organic compounds (VOCs). The report stated that 10 of the brands were tested and all 10 had these chemicals. These brands included Shake-N-Go, Sassy Collection, and Sensationnel.
These chemicals include benzene, which is a carcinogen that has been linked to acute myeloid leukemia and unsafe levels of lead, which can cause kidney damage, brain damage, and cardiovascular problems in adults.
In children, it can cause brain and nervous system damage, learning disabilities, behavioral problems and even developmental delays.
James E. Rogers, PhD, director and head of product safety testing led the testing for synthetic braiding hair. “Our exposure and risk analysis found all nine products could expose a regular user of any of these products to a level of lead that could be concerning over time,” he said.
As shocking as this is, it also brought some clarity around why I’ve had issues with wearing braiding hair as of late.
Not only have I dealt with scalp irritation, I’ve even had breakouts on my back from the hair touching. Since then, I’ve started rinsing the hair with apple cider vinegar, and haven’t had that many issues. However, the report stated that ACV isn’t a “cure-all” and can potentially release harmful chemicals when rinsing the hair.
@javonford16 Replying to @Julianna Rebundle vid: @Javon Ford Beauty #blackhairstyles #braidinghair #blackgirlhairstyles @Consumer Reports
While the report sparked some outrage, chemist Javon Ford has a different view. In a TikTok video, he shared that the report was tested for oral exposure and not dermal exposure.
He showed a screenshot of an email he allegedly sent Consumer Reports questioning their decision to test this way. The email said, “the best model to use, in our view, is the ingestion model for the reasons given in the article.”
“While I understand they went with that model, I don’t agree with it because you’re not intentionally ingesting braids,” Javon said. The chemist also said that the amount of chemicals found in the brands is “conservative” compared to other types of products.
So what does this mean for us braid-wearers? If you still want to wear braids, but have some concerns, you can limit how often you wear them. Another option is wearing non-toxic braiding hair or plant-based hair. The only downside is that it's pricier than synthetic hair.
The Consumer Report also suggested checking for recalls, reading labels carefully, and reporting adverse effects. Hair isn’t regulated by the Food and Drug Administration, so it’s best to do your research when making purchases.
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Feature image by AzmanL/ Getty Images