Why I Don't Care If There Are Same Sex Couples In My Kids Cartoons
It's been a year since Nickelodeon debuted an interracial, gay couple on their cartoon, “The Loud House” and now parents everywhere are once again pissed, but this time it's with the Disney Channel.
In an episode of “Star vs. The Forces of Evil” the main characters attended a concert where the song "Just Friends" caused a ripple effect of kisses from concert attendees ― a few of them were same-sex couples, making it the network's first same-sex kiss in an animated cartoon.
The Internet had a lot to say about it:
While some people didn't see a problem with it, not everyone is happy. Activist group One Million Moms released this statement on their website.
This is the last place parents would expect their children to be confronted with content regarding sexual orientation. Issues of this nature are being introduced too early and too soon, and it is becoming extremely common and unnecessary. Disney has decided to be politically correct versus providing family-friendly entertainment. Disney should stick to entertaining instead of pushing an agenda. Conservative families need to urge Disney to avoid mature and controversial topics.
What's funny about all of this is that the clip from the show isn't detailed, in fact it's a few seconds long; much like the Nickelodeon "Loud House" episode. In their July 20th episode “Overnight Success”, the show’s main character, Lincoln Loud, invites his friend Clyde McBride over for a sleepover. When Clyde arrives, he is escorted by his two dads, Harold (voiced by Wayne Brady) and Howard McBride (voiced by Michael McDonald). In the clip (which you can watch below), Harold and Howard are dropping Clyde off at Lincoln’s house for the evening and in true overprotective parent fashion, bring along everything their son might need from his inhaler to a picture of their progressive family. The clip in fact doesn’t even focus on anyone’s sexuality, it focuses on a family that just happens to include two caring and considerate fathers who are in a relationship.
Unfortunately, a few parents on my Facebook page didn’t see that. What they felt they witnessed was LGBT lifestyles being forced into their households and Nickelodeon robbing them of the opportunity to initiate the “sex talk” with their pre-schoolers and basically stripping them of their fragile childhoods.
A few highlights from the conversation include:
“Its simple i wanna see a regular cartoon that just shows a strong black family thats funny, it aint to many but im curious to kno why my son is suppose to be watchin a show that show two uncles together.”
“Absolutely forcing a vision that’s not ideal.”
“A gay kids show?? 😩 wtf and why? What show is this?”
“Yeah I admit it. I don't have a problem with LGBT but I personally feel they pushing that shit too hard on kids. That's why kids is like 5 and don't know what they supposed to be.”
Like I’ve said many times before, I don’t expect everybody to stand on their porch and raise a rainbow flag. But when it comes to raising our children to understand exactly why representation matters and to be tolerant of others’ lifestyles, I just can’t see how we can preach, “#BlackLivesMatter (but please keep the gay couples off the cartoons)”. I’ve written before how representation has come a long way since I was a young girl and how happy I am to see my daughter growing up in a world of #BlackGirlMagic. But I can’t fight for there to be Michelle Obamas, Zendayas, and Taraji P. Hensons while secretly believing diversity only applies when it comes to the black race being represented and respected.
I can't say I agree with every lifestyle, and I don't pretend to understand all of them, but I think it's still important to teach children to be tolerant. Just like some people can't understand the struggle of the black man, others don't know what it's like to be gay, queer, transgender or otherwise. I think that's what tolerance is all about: Recognizing that just because you don't understand a struggle, that doesn't mean it's not real.
[Tweet "Just because you don't understand a struggle, doesn't mean it's not real."]
In addition, a cycle that I would like to break with my own daughter is the hypersexualization of our society. In a 50 second clip (that many of the parents that were commenting didn’t even watch) no one could seem to get past the sexuality of the two dads to recognize the cartoon wasn’t even about their relationship. It was about a boy getting dropped off by his overbearing parents to a sleepover. I’ve seen parents holding the hands of children that can recite the whole second verse of Drake’s “Controlla” or could draw a Venn diagram of all of the Kardashian sisters’ sex partners, but suddenly gay couples start to make an appearance on cartoons and everyone’s on a tangent about TV robbing children of their innocence?
As uncomfortable as these conversations may make us adults because of our own transgressions, sexuality is something that is a part of all our identities from birth. Instead of shaming sexuality completely, I believe in taking cartoons like these, or other shows that hint at sexuality, and starting much needed, healthy, age-appropriate conversations about what sexuality means to them and the part it plays in their life. As a sex educator, I always say “the sex talk” is about more than “Wear a condom and don’t get pregnant.” It’s about providing our children with healthy examples of romantic relationships.
I can respect that every household has the right to shape the world for their children as they see fit and raise them with the values that are important to them. But sexuality and alternative lifestyles are here to stay. You can only shield your children from them for so long before they have to learn how to treat others with respect and not discredit everything they don’t understand or that doesn’t apply to them.
If you don’t start these conversations it will only be a matter of time before the world does it for you.
But even if you choose to save the “sex talk” until they’re 25, the “tolerance” talk needs to start now, about ALL of the issues in the world, not only the ones that affect us.
What do you think about same-sex couples being added to cartoons?
Writer, sexual health superhero, and #BlackGirlMagic and #BlackBoy curator regularly featured on @Madamenoire. Toya can usually be found in between her earbuds, listening to trap music and refreshing her browser for concert tickets. Tweet her @thetruetsharee.
Exclusive: Melanie Fiona On Making High-Vibrational Music & Saying Yes To Partnership
Melanie Fiona is back! After taking a little more than a decade-long hiatus, she has officially made her return to music and blessed us with two singles, “Say Yes” and “I Choose You.” While both singles are very different from each other, they both reflect who she is today and the type of music she wants to make. In our conversation, the mom of two expressed what she learned during her time away.
“It's interesting, even when I said it is like coming back, I don't ever feel like I really left because I was always still performing. I've still been public. It's not like I went into being this recluse person or version of myself, but the thing that I really learned in this process is that I think things take time,” Melanie says in a xoNecole exclusive.
“I think often we're so caught up in it, being on the timing of demand or popularity, or, like, striking while the iron is hot and the thing that I've learned is that everything is on God's time. That's it. Every time I thought I would have been ready, or, like, things were taking too long, I had to reship some things, personally, professionally, in my life. I also gave myself permission to make a living, not just make a living, but make a life for myself.”
Making a life for herself included getting married to Grammy-nominated songwriter Jared Cotter, starting a family, and embracing new landscapes, such as podcasting as a co-host of The Mama’s Den podcast. She also began doing more spiritual work and self-care practices like meditation, sound healing, Reiki, acupuncture, and boundary setting, which allowed her to get in touch with her inner voice.
“I wasn't putting out music, and I wasn't experiencing a number one record, but I was being a number one mom,” she says.
“I was experiencing things that were allowing me to heal and get in touch with myself so that I could make new music from a space of joy and freedom, and excitement again because I definitely feel like I did lose some excitement because of just politics and industry and what it can do to your mental health and even your physical health. So giving myself the space to really just say, ‘Hey, it's okay. Everything's right on time.’”
The joy and excitement are felt in one of two new singles, “I Choose You,” which is more of a lovers rock vibe, a tribute to Melanie’s Caribbean roots. While the Grammy award-winner is known for ballads like “It Kills Me” and “Fool For You,” she is becoming more intentional about the music she makes, calling it high-vibrational music. She says her music is a “reflection of my life,” as it captures every facet, from hanging out with friends to riding around in her car.
“Say Yes” has the classic R&B vibe Melanie is known for. However, both songs are inspired by her relationship. Melanie and Jared got married in December 2020, and the Toronto-bred artist dished on their relationship. Fun fact: he is featured in the “Say Yes” music video.
“When we first started dating, I had come into that relationship post a lot of self-work. I had gotten out of a long-term relationship, I had a year and a half to date and be by myself and do a lot of work on myself alone. And when we met, I remember feeling like this has to be my person because I feel it,” she says.
“And so when we went into that relationship, and we started dating, I was very clear. I was like, I know what I want. I'm very clear on what I need, and I'm not going to withhold my truth about myself in this process because of pride or fear of rejection. I know you love me, but I'm coming with my heart in my hand to let you know that if we're gonna get there, we have to put fear aside and say yes. So that was kind of like my open letter to him, which is why the video is us having a conversation.”
Melanie also shares that saying yes to her partner has empowered her in many ways, including motherhood and showing up for herself. Her new EP, also titled Say Yes, will be available at the top of 2025.
Check out the full interview below.
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This time of the year highlights the gift of giving, and it’s important to get a loved one something they will cherish for time to come. Why not use Astrology to help guide you through this gifting season so that you know you are getting someone something they would truly love?
Astrology is based upon the stars and the celestial energy they manifest, but when you break it down into how this works for people in their everyday lives, you can see what interests, likes and dislikes, styles, etc. match more with others than most. The key to Astrology is knowing that it’s personal and fluid, and the key to gift-giving is knowing and understanding that as well.
Certain zodiac signs feel more connected to gifts that are more nostalgic or sentimental, and that make them feel like you have been listening. For example, Cancer loves all things vintage and would love a gift that has a history or that reminds them of theirs. A Libra, on the other hand, is more geared toward luxury items and would feel loved by receiving something luxurious and pricey, and is more focused on the aesthetically pleasing aspect of the gift.
Aries, a fire sign that is independent and is usually the one doing the gift-giving for themselves, would find appreciation in a gift that is unique, one-of-a-kind, and that reflects their personality.
When we look at the elements in Astrology, we are talking about fire signs, earth signs, air signs, and water signs. Each element has different needs, interests, and outlooks and can be identified through the things they love. Fire signs resonate with exciting and unique gifts, whereas water signs need something that will connect to them emotionally over all else. Earth signs value gifts that they feel like you took your time choosing, and air signs love gifts that can provide more value or add to their lives.
Let’s look at the perfect gift guide for the zodiac signs, and what you should look for when doing your holiday shopping this year:
Holiday Gift Ideas for Fire Signs
Nobody knows themselves and loves themselves like a fire sign does. The perfect gift for this confident soul involves something personalized, custom, or that resonates with their fiery personality. Fire signs love color, patterns, and more specifically, things that no one else has or that are hard to get.
This is a sign you want to plan ahead for this holiday season, and you should gift them something that reminds them of how special and unique they are.
Holiday Gift Ideas for Earth Signs
Earth signs value what is practical, and that includes their gifts. These are signs that you should think about if they are going to use, and that would make their life easier in some way. Earth signs are the hard-working signs of the zodiac and need a gift that is going to make sense for their everyday life. They also love the more earthy and natural gifts like crystals and gemstones, organic items, candles, sustainable products, and shopping from small businesses they support.
Holiday Gift Ideas for Air Signs
Air signs value accumulating assets and prize possessions. They usually have impeccable taste, and they expect the same type of attention to detail with the gifts they receive. They are less sentimental signs, but that doesn’t mean they don’t want to be shown how much they are loved; they just want to be shown in a more beautiful and aesthetically pleasing way.
Air signs have the perfect balance of cool and chic, intelligent and creative, and your gifts should reflect that.
Holiday Gift Ideas for Water Signs
Water signs are ruled by their emotions and value gifts that have meaning. They want to know that you thought about their heart and the things that they love, as they would do the same for you. Water signs love a gift that has history and that gives them a sense of nostalgia or meaning. They also take value in gifts of adornment like jewelry, interior design pieces, and things they can look at and be reminded of daily.
These are signs you want to get creative with when gift-giving, and you should give them something that has a story.
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