So I know I’m not the only one who’s been seeing an uptick in articles about it not being necessary to bathe on a daily basis (chile…CHILE). What certain researchers claim is cleansing your skin in that manner every day not only dries it out, it could potentially compromise your immunity too.
Personally, I don’t know what I’m more skeptical about, that part or reading thatonly half of Americans actually bathe on a daily basis in the first place (don’t even get me started on the fact that45 percent of folks in the United States will go two days or longer before putting on some fresh drawers). Listen, when you think about all that your cootie cat and behind go through on a daily basis, that’s enough of a reason to run to the tub at the end of a long day if you ask me.
That’s actually what we’re gonna get into today. If you’re someone who is all about hygiene, and so you’re not gonna depend on some type of body deodorant (some of those commercials are so gross; I won’t name no names about which ones, though) to cover up stank and bacteria, you might have found yourself wondering before if it’s better for your vagina if you take a shower or a bath. Although, at the end of the day, it’s not the biggest deal in the world if you already have a certain preference, I did want to bring up some things for you to think about — just as an FYI.
Benefits of a Shower
GiphyThere’s a guy I know who has always said that if he ever takes a bath, he’s going to get into the shower first. LOL. Although that might sound like a lot of extra work to some of y’all, believe it or not, he’s actually onto something. Even health experts will say that if your ultimate objective is to get your body as clean as possible, you’re going to be better off taking a shower (they also say that if you’re focused,5-10 minutes should be all that you need).One article that I read said that the two main reasons are 1) you’re able to get a fairly even distribution of water dispersed onto your body and 2) the dirt and ickiness flow right off of you and into the drain — when you’re in a bath, the dirty water is floating all around.
Now when it comes to your vagina, specifically, there are some perks to “her” taking a shower as well. For one thing, because the vagina is self-cleansing, it doesn’t need any of your help via washing products. And so, when you’re in the shower, it’s easier to wash your vulva only, so that your vagina doesn’t come into contact with any of the stuff that you use to wash the rest of your body with.
And since, yes, you can totally get a yeast infection from the bath products that you use (because they can potentially throw your pH down there off), all of this is definitely something to keep in mind.
Gee, after saying all of this, is there any benefit at all to taking baths? Actually…there are.
Benefits of a Bath
GiphyIf I’m gonna be real, if getting thoroughly clean is your (ultimate) goal, showers are going to win every time. On the flip side, though,baths are hella therapeutic. If you’re looking to soothe sore muscles and achy joints, strengthen your immune system (because apparently hot baths help to improve how your immune cells operate), make it easier to breathe if you have a cold or respiratory infection, decrease stress and anxiety levels; soften your skin; burn a few calories (because soaking in hot water can actually uptick your metabolism a bit), and/or improve your quality of sleep (especially if you do itno more than two hours before turning in) — taking a nice hot bath can make all of this happen for you (interestingly enough,a cold shower can accomplish many of these things too).
And vaginally? Is taking a bath any good at all? Well, stress does play a role in suppressing the good bacteria in your vagina, which means that if a bath reduces stress, it can indirectly help you to have fewer vaginal infections (like a yeast-related one). Also, if you have eczema or psoriasis on your vulva (or hemorrhoids due to things like recently giving birth), soaking in an oatmeal or sitz bath can relieve the discomfort.
Not to mention the fact that, if you have a yeast infection, soaking in a tub that has some baking soda in it, can help to kill some of the fungus that is irritating your vulva and the discharge that may be bothering your vaginal opening.
Still, you need to be careful to focus on the outside of your vagina, not the inside of it (if you have an infection, contact your doctor; they will probably give you something that will treat it from the inside out). Otherwise, the baking soda could irritate your vagina and not much else.
Either Way, 5 Cleansing Tips to Keep in Mind
GiphyWhen you take all of this into account, it seems like the conclusion is that whatever your vulva (the outer part of your vagina) needs at any given time, that is what should help you to decide if you should hop into the shower or soak in the tub. However, as a general practice, because the less “stuff” that gets into your vagina, the better, a shower is always going to be your safer bet. Whichever way you land, though, there are some cleansing tips for your vagina that you should always keep in mind.
1. Use a Gentle Vaginal Wash
I don’t care what article you read on how to clean your vagina — which, again, needs to be your vulva — if it’s worth its weight, it’s gonna say to avoid scented products; many will also say thatjust water alone will do the trick. Me personally, I use something calledBoric Fresh PH Balancing Daily Feminine Wash. It contains boric acid, tea tree oil, coconut oil, and some essential oils and works wonderfully. Sometimes I’ll play around with a DIY feminine wash, too (check out “Love On Yourself With These 7 All-Natural DIY Vaginal Washes”). Those are fun because you can literally customize the ingredients to make a wash that is best for you at various times of the month.
2. Know How to “Wash Your Vagina” Correctly
It’s kind of wild, the things that we think we are masters at that we very well might not be. For instance, did you know that when it comes to washing your vagina (which, again, is more like your vulva),your hands are actually best because loofahs (and even certain washcloths) can be too harsh for the inner parts of your vulvar skin? Yeah, cleaning “her” is one thing. Cleaning her properly? That’s another matter entirely. That said, check out “Are You Washing Your Vagina Correctly? You Sure?” for some additional tips in that department.
3. Pat “Her” Dry
If you’re not someone who pays much attention to drying your vagina off after bathing it, please make sure that you start.There are experts who say that an unsung reason why some women get yeast infections (or recurring ones) is that their vulva/vagina stays too moist throughout the day — and that’s because some women do not make sure that it’s dry after washing. Air drying is good (if you have time); if not, pat it dry with a clean and dry towel. Yes, pat—rubbing is totally unnecessary.
4. Take Showers on Your Cycle
Let me just say that when it comes to taking a bath when you’re on your period,there is nothing “wrong” with it. Actually, hot/warm water can help to relieve menstrual cramps. All I’m saying is, if that’s the time of the month when you want to feel particularly clean, for all of the reasons that we discussed, a shower is probably gonna be your better bet. Plus, if you’re someone who hastension headaches during that time of the month, a hot shower could help to decrease your discomfort.
5. Put on Clean Underwear. ALWAYS.
I once read a quote that said, “Having sex with an ex is like getting out of the shower and putting the same underwear back on.” While I’m not sure if it’s THAT extreme (LOL), I do think that the saying is a good way to close all of this out. Back when I wrote, “When Should You Replace Underwear, Make-Up, Bedding, Washcloths & Towels?” for the platform, a part of the reason why is because some of us will hold onto panties for literally years at a time. Yeah, that’s not good because, for one thing, tiny parts of fecal matter store up in undies.
That’s why it’s important to get new ones — because why put a fresh body in 6-12 months’ worth of little stored-up poop pieces (yuck!)? So, whether it’s a shower or bath that you land on, please have some clean panties awaiting her at the end, aight? That way, your vagina will remain as clean as possible until the next time you get into a shower…or a bath.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
Alaska Wasn’t On My Bucket List, But My Glacier Adventure Made Me A Believer
We all have bucket list destinations at the top of our lists. I visited one of those at the top of 2024: Japan! But what happens when you get an opportunity to go someplace that wasn’t on it? For me, that was Alaska. Now, I’d submitted my short film to the Anchorage International Film Festival, genuinely thinking it would be a long shot to get in with a short film about fibroids and Black women’s health.
However, to my surprise, I received an email that read: “It’s with great excitement that we announce your film, Super High: A Period Piece, has been selected for the 24th Anchorage International Film Festival.” After looking at the flight distance from Atlanta to Anchorage—a solid 10 hours one way— I’d decided this would be one I wouldn’t attend.
That was until there was a follow-up email that shared that the festival was sponsoring two excursions for filmmakers: A Northern Lights Tour and A Glacier Hike.
With that, I knew I had to make the trip to the 49th state! I flew Delta, which offered the shortest layovers—just 50 minutes each way. For a more comfortable flight on the longer legs that were about six hours between my layover city and Anchorage, I upgraded to first class with an in-app discount for $256 (the regular price of a first-class ticket runs about $2,100), which was so worth it for additional space and service for the six-hour trek.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
"So What’s Alaska Like? Did You Have To Wear a Snowsuit? What’s the Food Like?"
These are among the major questions I’ve gotten. Anchorage reminds me less of a bustling major city and more of a small town with an easygoing feel. When I arrived, they’d just had snow a few days before, so it was cold, and the streets were slick. So, I was so happy I’d invested in a pair of snow boots. For my first few days, the locals said it was warm. Warm to them being 20s at night and mid-30s during the day.
However, by the time I left, fresh snow was on the ground, and temps were well into the single digits—and it felt like it. Oh, the sun doesn’t rise until 10:30 a.m., and it sets around 4 p.m. That was among the most challenging things to experience because I felt like I never really woke up. So, between the lack of sun and the four-hour time difference, I felt tired the whole time I was there.
As for food, I didn’t explore a ton because I was so cold. But I found two gems! First was Whiskey and Ramen. If you enjoy ramen and exceptional service, this is a must-visit. I’d make a trip back just for their Wagyu ramen and their special take on an old fashion!
And, for coffee, I thoroughly enjoyed That Feeling Co. The coffee was great, and being surrounded by plants helped to perk up my spirits.
The Northern Lights
Iceland is one of the most popular places to see the Northern Lights, so I was very excited to know that Alaska also gets to see the Aurora Borealis light show. Typically, many people visit Fairbanks to see them, but there are tours offered in Anchorage too! When prepping for the late-night tour, we’d heard that the night we were heading out to see the lights, the cloud coverage likely meant we wouldn’t be able to see them. Bummer. I know. So, we could sit the tour out or still try. But, in my mind, I was like, why would I come all the way to Alaska not to try?
So, at about 9:30 p.m., we piled into vans and headed out to chase the Northern Lights. We traveled about an hour and a half from Anchorage, and when we stepped out of the van, it was cold and pitch black. And unfortunately, after a couple of hours in the cold, those clouds in the sky never parted for us. I know that when we see the posts of people who do get to see Mother Nature do her thing, we don’t have all of the context of the science, which is Aurora Borealis.
Sometimes, the weather just doesn’t do what we earthlings would like, which can lead to disappointment. However, our guide did give a recommendation. When you book a trip to see the lights, give yourself four to five days to see them. Don’t bank on one day because, at the end of the day, this is science.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Now, On to the Glacier!
Just six hours after returning from the Northern Lights tour, we were up for the glacier tour because they were back-to-back! I was exhausted and so excited. If someone had told me I’d hike on a glacier, I would have given them a mean side-eye. I mean, where on earth does one climb a glacier? Let me share a few destinations with you, just in case you want to plan an icy adventure: Switzerland, Norway, Iceland, Chile, Argentina, and Alaska.
Aside from the fact the Matanuska Glacier is 22,000 years old, it’s the largest glacier accessible by car in the United States—27 miles long and four miles wide, making it one of the easier ones to see IRL. As a girlie with generalized anxiety disorder, I get anxious about doing this kind of thing because I know that to see these world wonders is usually a mountainous trek.
This one was two hours long, one-way, up snow-capped, windy, mountainous terrain. However, my therapist always reminds me to push myself to do what scares me (as long as it’s for a reason, of course). I held my breath for the journey there and back! And white-knuckled it from time to time, too.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Once we got there, we were surrounded by fresh, fluffy snow, and it was COLD! In the negative cold. I was thankful, I’d over-prepared. If you even go on a glacier tour, I recommend a few things: Balaclava, heavy-weight gloves, cashmere socks, snow boots, and lots of layers.
Here’s what I wore. My first layer was Ann Taylor leggings and a Wolford Turtleneck. Then, I layered a cashmere turtleneck and cashmere joggers. A COACH down vest, which I’d recommend anyone own just for winter, in general, because it’s SO warm! For my feet, I wore Ann Taylor cashmere socks (I love these because they’re affordable and so warm) and Adidas Adifom Superstar Winter Boot and topped all of that with a Brandon Blackwood ankle-length parka. I know BB is known for his accessories, but the brand’s outwear is truly amazing and worth the investment. After two hours on the ice, I felt great!
If you’re open to adventure travel, I highly recommend putting a glacier tour on your list of things to do. There are a few reasons. First, standing on an ice age-old massive piece of glacier was my 2024 version of touching some grass. I was reminded that I’m a speck on this spinning rock and need to spend more time grounded in that fact as I move through the world. I looked to the sky and thought of how proud my ancestors would be, even though I know they’d be telling me to get my butt home and off a dog on a glacier!
Secondly, I gained an ever-large appreciation for Mother Nature as I learned that glaciers are the world's largest reservoir of freshwater, containing around 69% of the world's freshwater. Again, another fact that helped me gain perspective. Lastly, it’s just fun and stunningly beautiful!
After this, I’m looking forward to my next cold-weather adventure! Iceland and Argentina are at the top of the list!
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Featured image courtesy of Bianca Lambert