When I was in the 5th grade, I was very good friends with a girl (we can call her "Brittney") who struggled with severe obesity. One day in class, for a reason I can't remember but am pretty sure isn't okay, we were asked to get on a scale and weigh ourselves for an assignment. Being the only Black girl in my class, I was filling out in ways that my classmates weren't and I was already insecure about my weight, but I figured that if Brittney didn't complain, I shouldn't either.
When Brittney stepped on the scale, her weight read: 180. I was shook. At the time, I weighed more than the other girls in my class, but I couldn't believe that she was almost 200 pounds. At 10 years old, I made a vow to myself to never weigh more than 180 pounds and right there, in that moment, I started a dysfunctional pattern of negative self-talk as well as my quest to be skinny, not necessarily healthy.
After having my gallbladder removed and struggling with weight fluctuation for years, I met a doctor at a small clinic in Augusta, Georgia who introduced me to the concept of medical weight loss. His walls were adorned with success stories of people who had lost 20, 50, 100 pounds FAST, and I wanted in. I was in my senior year of college and creeping up on the big "170", and in honor of the solemn promise I had made to myself, was willing to lose weight in whatever way possible, so I gave it a try.
Don't be fooled and please do not think that medical weight loss is a fast-track cure all that can change your negative body image issues and childhood insecurities because it's not that. There are actually some extremely dangerous aspects of medical weight loss that you need to be aware before you start your weight loss journey.
The very first thing you need to know is that the title, "Weight Loss Clinic," can be misleading. What some of these locations should call themselves is, "Palace of Pill Pushers." In the digital age, we want results fast, so we think it's imperative to drop pounds now. Even if the ultimate cost is our lives. If you're interested in starting a weight loss journey and curious about the medial weight loss option, here's the tea on what to expect and how to start your process safely:
Medical Weight Loss Clinics: The Good
Done with the right professional, in the right clinic, this process can change your attitude toward food and your eating behaviors for the better. When I tried the program for the first time four years ago, I received a meal plan complete with the calorie counts of each recipe, nutritional values, and what I could order from certain restaurants. The clinic checked in on me constantly, and I only stopping going because I moved.
When you're choosing a clinic, make sure to pick one that offers those amenities and isn't overcrowded with patients. If you find a location that's willing to give you some pills and a shot with little-to-no supervision afterward, run away in the other direction… fast. They don't have the time or resources to keep your best interest at heart.
My favorite part about the process is, it introduced me to B-12 shots, which are normally performed by medical weight loss clinics. I'm not currently on a weight loss journey, but I still stop by a local clinic to get the shots, which help with fatigue and mood, especially for people with digestive or gut issues.
Medical Weight Loss Clinics: The Bad
Along with B-12 shots and meal planning, many weight loss clinics offer phentermine as an appetite suppressant and diet supplement. What weight loss clinics may not tell you is, phentermine is dangerous and addictive AF. There was a time when I was really into taking Adderall to keep up with my schoolwork in college, so I know an upper when I see it. Although these pills can be okay if taken in moderation and for short periods of time, many people get addicted and the effects can be fatal.
Fenfluramine-phentermine, nicknamed fen-phen, hit the market in the 90s and accounted for 18 million of the prescriptions written in 1996, making it a worldwide epidemic weight loss drug. It wasn't long before the public discovered that the drug had caused many users to have heart valve problems and pulmonary hypertension. Although the drug combo was taken off the pharmaceutical streets in 1997, phentermine lives on and probably does so in the purses and pockets of many of the women that we know and love.
Although phentermine alone doesn't have the dramatic weight loss effects of its predecessor, the drug still has the potential to be deadly if not taken under a doctor's consistent care.
Medical Weight Loss Clinics: The Ugly
Ivy Park
My bottom line here is, medical weight loss is not the devil. Nor is it your savior. As I think back to Brittney and the day I made that foolish and unfounded promise to myself, I understand that my goal was never based on my own reality, it was based on what I wanted people to think when I stepped on the scale.
To truly be your own #BodyGoals, first, you have to unlearn your negative self-image beliefs, and that won't always be a pretty process.
In fact, tearing down your insecurities can get pretty ugly, and there's no amount of meal planning, vitamins, and pills that you can use to avoid that inevitable truth. You have to do the work!
If you're considering starting a weight loss journey, girl go for it! But check your motives. Find a doctor that cares about you, rather than one that thinks that pills are your only option. And lastly, if you do decide to go the phentermine route, have some tests run by your primary care provider first and don't take them for longer than a 12-week period.
15 years later, I'm proud to say I'm 178 pounds and I'm not mad about it.
Do I wanna lose a few pounds? Sure. But will I do it in a way that's unhealthy and challenges my physical health? Hell nah. Medical weight loss can be a great tool when paired with a healthy mindset, good food choices, and exercise. True transformation comes from the inside-out, so it's best to start there.
Featured image by Getty Images.
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Skylar sees things differently. At the time, she was shooting content on her iPhone. Temi came into the picture with a new perspective, an understanding of tech, and, eventually, a camera. “He doesn't give himself enough credit,” Skylar says. “He wasn't just my tripod. He wasn't just standing behind the camera and going ‘click.’ He was giving advice. He was giving me insight to how I could look at things from a different perspective. And I was like, 'Oh, he’s an artist.' I think it was maybe a heartbeat of that kind of energy of like, ‘Baby, can you take this picture?’ And it turned so quickly into, we're partners. We can work together in a way where we're advancing each other's creative thinking.”
The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Temi and SkylarCj Hart @hartbreakToday, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak
