Male-centric sex in my life has come to an end.
I was recently talking to a friend who told me that one of his greatest fantasies was to get the best head of his life on top of a mountain. He continued on to say he's never gotten any really amazing head before, to which I replied, "You put in what you get out. Maybe you haven't gotten any amazing head because you haven't given any amazing head".
"Oh, I don't do that," he said adamantly and without hesitation.
Really?
While I understand that every relationship is different, I was convinced that the oral sex double standard had been played out for years; I was sadly mistaken. Reflecting back on my own sexual experiences, I realize that when I was younger, it was taboo to ask a guy to eat the box, but now that I've grown into a woman, it's a requirement.
An interview between DJ Khaled and The Breakfast Club from 2014 recently resurfaced and has the internet up in arms about whether or not it's necessary for your man to reciprocate oral sex and prompting some hilarious commentary from onlookers. In the interview, Khaled said:
"It's different rules for men. We the king, so there's some things y'all might not wanna do, [but] it gotta get done. I just can't do what you want me to do. I just can't."
Khaled isn't alone in his thinking, as many cultures hail cunnilingus as a submissive act.
"I believe a woman should praise the man, the king. If you holding it down for the woman, I feel the woman should praise and the man should praise the queen but my way of praising is called 'How was dinner? You like the house you living in?' 'You like all the clothes you getting,' 'I'm taking care of your family. I'm taking care of my family?' You know, putting in the work."
Y'all smell that? Smells like the funky ass patriarchy indulging in some internalized misogyny at play here, and I want to get to the bottom of it. For years, vaginas have been used and abused for convenience, but I have made it my personal mission to end the male-centric sex in my life.
I have one golden rule in the bedroom, I come first.
Eating p*ssy is an obvious prerequisite for my strict requirement, and I won't have sex with a man unless he's down to lick all 32 flavors.
Stars like Dwayne Johnson, Amanda Seales, and even the dictionary weighed in on the comical double standard. Seales joked in an Instagram video:
"So, Khaled doesn't eat p***... How can someone that's so much about motivation and support not understand the value of putting your face in the box? And then you gotta wonder like, what is he doing, if he ain't eating the puss?"
Let's face it, vaginal orgasms from strictly penetration are pretty much a myth. If you know someone who's had one, please find her and ask her to call me, I need to understand how this happened. Women normally require some type of clitoral stimulation before achieving an orgasm, and it's time to retire the age old theology that the d*ck should be enough. It's just not bro. No matter how big, wide, and strong a man is, it takes some quality TLC to help a woman reach her level of optimal pleasure.
Although I personally need a bang for my buck, this writer from Madame Noire hit the nail on the head about the real message that men perpetuate by not being willing to go down on their lovers: that they are selfish, inconsiderate and ignorant.
"Perhaps, he has a rare woman who doesn't appreciate oral sex and she's happy with him. At the end of the day, everything ain't for everybody. But what's particularly troubling is the message that's being disseminated here. I'm not speaking about Khaled and his fiancee. It might work for the both of them. But being in a romantic relationship requires more than money to ensure that both parties are happy. Paying for dinner, buying clothes and taking care of family doesn't give men a pass to have all their needs met while a woman goes without."
As much as I enjoy watching a man's eyes roll back and his toes curl as I give him the the ride of his life, no man will enjoy the fruits of my fellatio without offering up some sloppy top first.
The misogynistic idea that women should be satisfied by mediocre dick and the fulfillment of basic financial obligations alone is dead. Millennial women have succeeded in pioneering and securing the bag and achieving sexual liberation, creating a culture of women who know that they too, deserve to have orgasms.
Reciprocity is key.
If you haven't seen the controversial video yet already, click here or watch it below.
- Dwayne Johnson Speaks Out After DJ Khaled Admits He Doesn't Go ... ›
- DJ Khaled Doesn't Like Giving Oral Sex to Women ›
- DJ Khaled said he does not perform oral sex on women because ... ›
- DJ Khaled Said He Expects Oral Sex But Won't Return The Favor ... ›
- DJ Khaled Doesn't Go Down On His Wife, Why That Sucks ›
- Breakfast Club Classic: DJ Khaled Explains Why He Doesn't Go ... ›
- DJ Khaled Said He Doesn't Go Down on Women and the Internet ... ›
- DJ Khaled Doesn't Eat It - YouTube ›
- DJ Khaled Explains Why He Doesn't Go Down on Women ›
Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
The Mecca Of Fashion: The Top Street Style Moments At Howard Homecoming
Outfits were planned, bags were packed, and cameras were ready to capture Howard University's collegiate spirit during its centennial Homecoming celebration. Not only does it hold the number one ranking as the most elite Historically Black College and University or its top performing academics, diversity of students and alumni, but the HBCU also leaves a legacy of style and grace.
The essence of effortless poise and refinement shines bright through the iconic university colors of indigo blue, red, and white. Every October, Howard University students, alumni, staff, and friends gather on the prestigious campus in Washington, D.C. to take part in time-honored traditions and events, which is Homecoming. This year's theme, “The Meccaverse,” was a week-long celebration of Howard University’s heritage, including the Homecoming football game and Bison Pep Rally, the Fashion Show, Greek Life Step Show, Homecoming Day of Service, Lavender Reception, and the iconic Yard Fest Concert.
As 2024 marked the 100th anniversary of the Howard Bison trek back to The Mecca and after two years of virtual events due to the COVID-19 pandemic, this was to be a celebration of a lifetime. We enlisted HU alumnus Sharmaine Harris, a luxury retail buyer, as she revisited her alma mater as eyes on the yard for fashion-forward outfits mixed with personal style and campus pride for the weeklong celebration.
Before we get to the looks, discover how attending Howard University impacted her career in fashion and her day-to-day style:
Credit: Sharmaine and Friends
xoNecole: Describe your personal style. Did attending Howard have any impact on developing it?
Sharmaine: Howard taught me that there’s no such thing as being TOO dressed. There’s always a reason to “put it on” and look presentable, even if it’s just for a day of classes. Standing out was celebrated and encouraged with my peers embracing the opportunity, giving me the confidence to try new styles and trends.
xoNecole: How did Howard shape your career as a luxury buyer?
Sharmaine: I studied Fashion Merchandising, through which I was fortunate to have professors who were very connected to the industry and able to give first-hand accounts of opportunities and what to expect post-college. I was also able to build a network through my peers and other Howard Alum, which has opened doors to endless possibilities both within fashion as well as daily life.
The same confidence instilled in me through my style has also been rooted deeply within me as I step into any role or project I’m faced with throughout my career.
xoNecole: This year marked Howard’s 100th-anniversary Homecoming celebration. Can you describe what the weekend looked and felt like?
Sharmaine: I’ve gone to many Howard Homecomings since graduating, but this year’s 100th anniversary felt like a huge family reunion filled with nothing but love. It was beautiful to see so many Bison return home looking great and radiating joy. It was beautiful!
xoNecole: What makes Howard fashion different from other HBCUs?
Sharmaine: Being that Howard is The Mecca, we have such a diverse population with each individual having their own spin on fashion. Getting dressed is second nature for us, but the layered confidence is our secret ingredient to make any look come together. Through that comfortability to push barriers, we have a legacy of setting trends, as indicated by the many alumni we have in the fashion and entertainment industry.
Keep scrolling for the top street style moments from The Mecca's Homecoming weekend:
Credit: Lacey Gallagher
Credit: Alan Henderson
Credit: JaLynn Davis
Credit: Dylan Davis
Credit: Caleb Smith
Credit: Kendall W.
Credit: Jordyn Finney
Credit: Vanessa Nneoma
Credit: Dr. Mariah Sankey-Thomas
Credit: Caleb MacBruce
Credit: Tiffany Battle
Credit: Teniola
Credit: Ilahi Creary
Credit: Nicolas Ryan Grant
Credit: Dylan Davis
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image courtesy of Sharmaine Harris
Doechii Decoded: 10 Things You Should Know About The Hip-Hop Powerhouse
Doechii, born Jaylah Hickmon, is a rising star in the music world with a unique flair that sets her apart. Doechii's trajectory shows that she's not just another name in the industry; she's carving out her own space with her creativity, authenticity, and unapologetic style.
Raised in a household that loved music, she began exploring her creative side early on, dabbling in poetry, dance, and theater. By the time she was a teenager, she was already making her own music, writing lyrics, and experimenting with different sounds. Doechii initially shared her songs on YouTube and SoundCloud, steadily building a loyal fan base and refining her artistic identity.
This year the Florida native is leading the ladies in the rap pack with four Grammy nominations — Best New Artist, Best Rap Album, Best Rap Performance, and Best Remixed Recording.
In March, Doechii took the pop charts by storm with her track "Alter Ego" featuring JT and Kaytranada. Shortly after, she released one of the year's most refreshing rap projects, Alligator Bites Never Heal. The project stands out as a lyrical tour de force, effortlessly weaving wordplay with raw emotion and vulnerability in a way that few artists of her generation can match.
1.Doechii Has Genre-Bending Style
Doechii is known for blending genres like rap, R&B, and pop with influences from punk, hip-hop, and electronic music. Her sound is distinct and showcases her versatility.
2.Her Viral Beginnings with "Yucky Blucky Fruitcake"
She first gained significant attention in 2020 with the viral success of her song "Yucky Blucky Fruitcake." The track, which features a raw storytelling style, quickly became a hit on TikTok, introducing her to a wider audience.
In a blend of all the emotions—relief, pride, and irritation, Doechii raps "I am a Black girl who beat the statistics," in “Yucky Blucky Fruitcake.” While her vocal nuances and cadences on the song are reminiscent of Nicki Minaj, the unique origin story at its core is all Doechii.
3.Doechii Signed with Top Dawg Entertainment (TDE)
In 2022, Doechii became the first female rapper to sign with Top Dawg Entertainment (TDE), joining a roster that includes Kendrick Lamar, SZA, and Isaiah Rashad. This marked a major milestone in her career.
On October 17, Mr. Morale himself expressed his admiration for Doechii by declaring her the "hardest out" in an Instagram Story post. This post highlighted the cover art of her acclaimed mixtape, Alligator Bites Never Heal, which is a testament to the Florida native's talent. Doechii returned the favor by reposting the IG Story and expressing her gratitude to K. Dot for recognizing her. "Thank you, Dot, you're the greatest," wrote the 26-year-old rapper in response.
4.Performing on Major Platforms
Doechii has performed on major platforms like the BET Awards and MTV Video Music Awards (VMAs). Her high-energy performances have captivated audiences, showcasing her charisma and stage presence. Not to mention, she joined Isaiah Rashad at Coachella this year and gave it all the way up as the musical guest on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon in May 2022.
5.Doechii's Hit Singles Like "Crazy" and "Persuasive"
She released the singles "Crazy" and "Persuasive," both of which received critical acclaim. "Persuasive" became a summer anthem, and a remix featuring SZA further elevated the track's popularity.
As of late, “Nissan Altima” and “What It Is” have the girlies in the chokehold.
6.Creative Visuals and Fashion Sense
Her music videos are known for their bold, artistic visuals. Doechii's fashion choices often feature eclectic, avant-garde styles, which add to her artistic identity and set her apart in the music industry. Whether it’s a killer suit, balloon skirt, or custom couture, she’s gonna eat the girls up every time.
7.Doechii Is an Openly Queer Artist
Doechii identifies as queer and often incorporates themes of gender fluidity and sexuality into her music. Her openness about her identity has made her an icon in the LGBTQ+ community.
To commemorate Pride Month this year, the Swamp Princess crafted a heartfelt letter addressing the LGBTQ community, expressing gratitude for their unwavering support. This support empowered her to courageously challenge societal expectations and embrace her authentic self without reservation.
She wrote, “My creative work is heavily influenced by both my Florida roots and the vibrant LGBTQ+ community. Whether I’m working on choreography or undergoing a glamorous transformation, I draw inspiration from my memories of resilience and artistry of drag queens in Ybor City and the energy of ballroom culture in NYC.”
8.Doechii's Inspirations and Influences
Her influences range from Missy Elliott and Nicki Minaj to genre-defying artists like Tyler, The Creator to the greats like Kanye West, Beyoncé, Lauryn Hill, and Outkast. Doechii cites their innovation and boldness as key inspirations in shaping her own artistic journey. In an interview with NME, Doechii shared, “These are artists who are the most honest, the most creative, and I’m really inspired by them. They gave me the courage to do what I’m doing right now.”
The rapper continued, “I wrote my first song when I was in the 6th grade. I knew this girl who was a huge Nicki Minaj fan. She put me onto Nicki Minaj and I was immediately hooked and wanted to start a group. I wanted to rap, so I wrote my first song and we did it at a talent show, and we won!”
9.Her Debut EP 'she / her / black bitch'
In 2022, she dropped her EP she / her / black bitch, a powerful project that explores themes of identity, race, and womanhood. The title and content reflect her experience as a Black woman in America, aiming to reclaim and empower.
10.Her Advocacy for Mental Health and Self-Love
Doechii is vocal about mental health, self-love, and the struggles of navigating the music industry as a young artist. She uses her platform to encourage fans to embrace their authentic selves and prioritize their mental well-being.
When sitting down with Netflix and Baby Tate for a roundtable discussion, Doechii shared, “Same as Tate, I recognize my shadow self and my demons as something that I work with. Now I kinda tell them what to do and we really cool now. If anything, I used to be really ashamed like, why do I even have a dark side? … Then I realized that my shadow side and my demons can actually help me see myself in a more human way. I kinda forgave myself, and them, and now we work together. We cool but not too much."
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Featured image via Giphy