December is about creating magic in your life. Things are coming full circle as we close out the year, and there is a lot of love to tend to, priorities to maintain, and success to obtain. We have a few planets going direct this month signaling a moving forward and an overcoming of obstacles. December is typically the month to wind down and prepare for the new year, but there is work to do this month and intentions to manifest.
On the first day of the month, we have a New Moon in Sagittarius, and hope is high right now. This is a great time to think of your future, and to plant the seeds for the successes you want to see this month. Sagittarius is all about taking risks, owning what is authentic to them, and creating abundance in their lives through their open-minded perspectives. Mercury is currently retrograde in Sagittarius until mid-month, and this New Moon is a good opportunity and opening for some more clarity and grace during challenging times within communication.
December 2024 Monthly Horoscope Insights
Mars goes retrograde on Dec. 6, a transit that only occurs every few years. Mars will be retrograde in Leo until Jan. 6, 2024, and then will be retrograde in Cancer from then until going direct on Feb. 23, 2024. This retrograde transit is a time of redirecting your passion, and energy and taking more time for intentional actions rather than rushed or impulsive ones. Mars retrograde in Leo heightens the ego, and some power struggles could play out.
Venus going direct in Leo opposite sign the following day until Jan. 2, will help balance this energy out a lot, and the key over the next few months is to consider other’s heart and perspective as well as your own.
We have a Full Moon in Gemini on Dec. 15 and Mercury goes direct the same day, and this is when things start to get interesting this month. Breakthroughs are occurring, old chapters are disappearing, and gratitude is strong. Capricorn Season officially begins on Dec. 21, and we are able to ground the energy we have been developing this month. Capricorn Season highlights your ambitions, successes, and sense of abundance and tradition. This is a beautiful time to work on the things that matter to you and to feel some more support in your life.
Chiron goes direct in Aries on Dec. 29 after being retrograde here since the end of July, and old wounds are healing. With Chiron now direct in this fire sign, something is empowering about the lessons we have learned this year and a sense of personal growth that is heartening. Before December ends, we have another New Moon, highlighting the new paths we are walking into right now.
The New Moon in Capricorn is on Dec. 30, and it is the second Capricorn New Moon of the year, and dreams are becoming a reality. Think back to January of this year and what you were intending for yourself and your life, as these same themes are manifesting for you again, but this time, you have more wisdom, support, and stability to receive them.
Read for your sun and rising sign below to see what December has in store for you.
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleARIES
December is an adventurous month for you, and you are feeling the self-empowerment in your life, Aries. Things are moving forward for you right now and with the Sun in your 9th house of adventure for most of December and a New Moon here on the first day of the month, you are seeking more freedom and personal development right now. You are expanding your world, having fun, and doing what makes sense for you.
Your ruling planet Mars goes retrograde on Dec. 6 for the next couple of months, and you are learning more about your passions, direction, and where you want to put more energy into your life. This is the time to be more patient with creative and romantic experiences and to trust the process more. Chiron goes direct in your sign before the month ends on Dec. 29, and your heart is healing. With Chiron now direct you are feeling emotionally enlivened and transformed as you end the year.
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleTAURUS
This month is a coming together in love, and a new beginning for you within your close relationships, Taurus. Venus enters your 10th house of success, recognition, and reputation on Dec. 7, and you are feeling the connection and support in your life. Your efforts are being encouraged, and you are being well-received exactly as you are showing up today. With the Sun also in an area of your life that has to do with love, intimacy, and resources, you are gaining a lot of clarity on the different relationship dynamics in your life, and feeling a lot of growth here.
Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in fellow earth sign, Capricorn, and you are ending the year on a high note. This New Moon is a great time to set your intentions and manifest your dreams for the next year and you are feeling especially hopeful as you end 2024. Don’t be afraid to take calculated risks during this time, as it’s about thinking big right now and expanding your horizons.
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleGEMINI
We enter the month we have a New Moon in your opposite sign, meaning love is being activated for you this month. This is a good time to think about the new paths your heart is walking on right now, and to know that your perspective on it all is going to determine how things play out for you. Gratitude is the attitude this month, and it’s all about focusing on the things you can control, rather than what you can’t.
Mid-December is an important time for you, Gemini. There is a Full Moon in Gemini happening on this day, and Mercury goes direct. You are feeling more in tune and balanced with what is happening in your life and around you, and are feeling a new sense of security between your personal goals and your relationship needs. You are getting the closure you have needed and it’s helping you let go of what has not been serving you or your heart.
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleCANCER
Things are picking up for you this month, Cancer. You are moving forward freely, taking new opportunities into your hands, and feeling courageous. With the Sun in your 6th house of health, work life, lifestyle, and daily routine, and a New Moon here on the first day of the month, your responsibilities may be heightened this month but you have the energy and passion within you to get things done right now. You are feeling encouraged to succeed, and are moving into a time of success in December.
Mercury goes direct on Dec. 15, and this will bring more ease and communication within your work life, and you will feel more heard and seen than you may have been these past few weeks while Mercury was in retrograde. On Dec. 30, a New Moon in Capricorn is happening, and you are leaving the year feeling a breakthrough occur for you in love. A lot of this month and this year you have needed to focus more on yourself and your dreams, but as you close out 2024, you are ready to let some more people into your world.
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleLEO
This month is all about balancing your priorities, Leo. Only take on what you feel you can handle right now, and don’t burn yourself out before your dreams come to fruition. Mars goes retrograde in your sign from Dec. 6 until Jan. 6, and there is a lot to process emotionally and personally right now. You may be feeling some power struggles in your life during this time, and it’s about owning your power without trying to force or control outcomes.
With Venus entering your house of love on Dec. 7 until 2025, don’t forget that you have support in your life, and lean on people when you need to. It’s okay to ask for help, and this month, you may need to reach out. The Full Moon in Gemini on Dec. 15, is a great time to be with friends, and your community, and to take note of the dreams that have come to fruition for you this year. There is a lot to be grateful for as the year ends, remember to focus on the gifts of that.
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleVIRGO
December is a new beginning for you, Virgo. You have found your stability, and are feeling confident on the ground you are walking on right now. New beginnings, experiences, and opportunities are more likely for you in the home, and there is a lot of excitement in your world right now. The New Moon on the 1st is a great time to set your intentions for your home life, foundations, family, and inner well-being.
Neptune goes direct in your 7th house of love after being retrograde here since the summer, and your relationships are receiving more understanding, clarity, and hope. You are experiencing a coming together in your life that is making you feel more self-secure and stable as you walk into the new year. Your ruling planet Mercury goes direct on Dec. 15 as well after being in retrograde these past few weeks, and the seeds you have planted are ready to bloom. The feeling of uneasiness or uncertainty is leaving your life this month, as things clear up for you in your private and personal life.
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleLIBRA
You are feeling all the feels this month, Libra. Emotions are heightened, but so is your intuition, and you are seeking truths. This is a great month for communication matters, for figuring things out, and for connecting through the heart. On Dec. 7, Venus enters your 5th house of romance, and you are ready for some more fun in love. Your love life is an area of your life where you feel more confident and emotionally in tune as you end the year, and there is a lot to look forward to here this month.
On Dec. 15, we have a Full Moon in fellow air sign, Gemini, and culminations are occurring and helping you see things in a new light. This Full Moon is bringing things full circle within the mind, and this is a good time to gain some guidance, renew, and mentally heal. The New Moon before the month ends on Dec. 30 is about creating breakthroughs in the home and with your close loved ones, and your focus should be on what you want to manifest in this area of your life for the next year.
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleSCORPIO
December is all about patience, Scorpio. This is the time of the year when you should focus on rest, letting things come to you, and trusting the divine timing of your life. With the Sun in your 2nd house of income for most of the month, and a New Moon here on the 1st, new developments are happening for you financially, but you may need some time to fully accept, grasp, and understand them. It’s about nurturing your dreams, and not doubting them right now.
Mars, one of your ruling planets, goes retrograde mid-month, and this is bringing things to a head within career matters. This is your time to refocus your ambitions, redefine how you want to show up and what you want to be known for, and let opportunities come to you. Mercury goes direct a week later, and this is even further clearing things up for you when it comes to your security in life, and you can attain more success, wealth, and assets moving forward. Overall, December is a big month for you financially, and a key moment in understanding the importance of patience and trust.
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleSAGITTARIUS
Trust your intuition this month. It’s your season, beautiful, Sag, and you are feeling the synergy and fulfillment in your life. You have grown in so many ways this year and your wisdom and knowledge are inspiring others. This month is all about standing in your empowerment, owning what you know, and moving yourself forward. The light is shining on you, and you are manifesting success and beauty in your world.
Mercury has been retrograde in your sign since Nov. 25, and will finally go direct on the 15th. This is doing wonders for your soul, your goals, and the new beginnings you are seeking, and you are mentally feeling a lot more clear-headed now. A Full Moon in Gemini is happening on the same day, activating your heart space, and it’s all about balancing what you know with what you feel. Trust that what is blooming in your life is meant for you and that what isn’t meant for you, won’t become.
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleCAPRICORN
Things are getting exciting for you in December, Capricorn. You are one of the stars of the show this month, and you are overcoming the past in major ways. Venus enters Aquarius on Dec. 7, and this is bringing love and protection into your finances, values, and self-confidence in life. This is a great time for seeing manifestations bloom for you in love as well, and also for investing in yourself more. Mercury goes direct in your 7th house of romance and partnership mid-month, and this is even further helping you feel a lot more supported and in harmony than you have been feeling recently.
Capricorn Season officially begins on Dec. 21, and it’s your time to shine and move forward, beautiful! You have fewer restrictions and obstacles towards your new beginnings and are entering 2025 at full speed. Before we close out the year the second New Moon in Capricorn occurs on Dec. 30, and you are proving to yourself the power of your mind and what you have created for yourself. This is a great month for feeling empowered, independent, and successful overall.
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleAQUARIUS
Life is coming to fruition for you in magnificent ways this month, Aquarius. You are feeling fulfilled, loved, and accomplished and you have risen above the mess. The Sun is in your 11th house of friendship for most of this month, and this is a good time to connect with the people who understand and support you and to take the time to feel gratitude for this area of your life. Mars goes retrograde in your 7th house of love on Dec. 6, and dynamics will be changing for you within your relationships over the next few months, so having balance here and trying to focus more on what does work rather than what doesn’t, is needed.
Venus enters Aquarius on the 7th, and this is when you are going to feel a lot more of the sweetness that this month is bringing into your life. Support is coming in, and you are being reminded how loved you are. On Dec. 15, there is a Full Moon in your house of romance happening as well, and your heart is the focus. The closures and conclusions you have been seeking are coming to the forefront, and you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Remember that you deserve good love, Aquarius.
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecolePISCES
December is all about being hopeful, Pisces. Gifts and opportunities come to you when you need them, and finding your stability and self-assurance amid change is needed right now. Right as the month begins, there is a New Moon in your 10th house of career and aspirations, and there is a lot to look forward to. This is a good time to set your intentions for your professional world and social life and to seek new opportunities and connections here.
Neptune, one of your ruling planets, goes direct on the 7th after being retrograde in Pisces since this summer, and your heart can breathe a little better now. Any confusion you have been feeling regarding what you want for yourself and your life is clearing up for you now, and your hope for it all is healing. On Dec. 15, a Full Moon in your 4th house of stability occurs, and this is going to help you feel more grounded through the midst of change that you are currently in in your life.
Remind yourself often this month, that all is well, and everything is working in your favor.
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Mercury enters Aries from April 16 until May 10, and what you were trying to see through or understand better while Mercury was retrograde here last month, you are experiencing a breakthrough now. Mercury in Aries is insightful and courageous, and people are more likely to speak their minds and initiate conversation with this energy. Mars then enters Leo from April 18 until June 17, reminding us that sometimes it’s okay to be a little more selfish and to focus on what you need right now. Mars in Leo brings forth confidence, creativity, and passion, and brings an exciting energy to charge of your life and advocate for yourself.
Taurus Season officially begins on April 19, bringing some earth sign energy into the mix, grounding and nurturing what you are creating in your life right now. On April 27, we have a New Moon in Taurus, and this is an abundant and fruitful New Moon. This is one of the best New Moons of the year for you to set your intentions for your financial world and a time for seeing new opportunities for abundance. On the last day of the month, Venus moves into Aries until June 6th, and love requires a little more passion, independence, and excitement during this time.
Overall, April is a month of feeling things through, taking more intuitive risks, investing in yourself, and balancing your needs with the needs of your relationships.
Read for your sun and rising sign below to see what April has in store for you.
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleARIES
April is your month to shine, Aries. With the chaos of March now over, you are starting to see the progress of where life is and how everything has turned out even better than you were expecting. The month begins with the Sun in your 1st house of self, and you are feeling more confident, courageous, and in tune with yourself. With a Full Moon in your sister sign on April 12, relationships are also coming full circle for you now, and you are claiming your peace this month.
Mercury finally goes direct on April 7 and then enters your sign from April 16 to May 10, and this is going to clear up any miscommunications that you have been through. With Mercury now in your sign, your conversations are lively, your mind is inspiring, and you are thinking one step ahead. Before the month ends, Venus enters your sign from April 30 to June 6, and love is also moving forward for you now. Overall, this is a month where you are experiencing some happy outcomes and loyal support.
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleTAURUS
April is a month of passion and purpose, Taurus. You are living in your abundance, and are focused on valuing yourself and the things you are bringing to fruition right now. Venus, your ruling planet, goes direct on March 12 after being retrograde in your financial house since March 1, and you are moving into the month experiencing more opportunities and also feeling more respected in what you are accumulating for yourself and standing your ground on.
Taurus Season officially begins on April 19, and it’s all about you right now. This Taurus Season is smoothing things out for you in love, with new relationship developments unfolding and life flourishing for you. The New Moon this month is in your sign on April 27, it’s time for a new beginning. You are truly embracing your strength in April, making things happen for yourself, and no longer doubting your future and what is possible for you.
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleGEMINI
This month is all about the options becoming available to you now, Gemini. With your ruling planet Mercury going direct at the beginning of the month on April 7, you no longer feel as held back or out of place as you may have in the past weeks. With Mercury now direct, your thinking is clearer, and you are seeing the opportunities in your career and professional world that you may have missed before.
The more you can embrace your authenticity, the less time you will spend doubting how others perceive you, remember that this month.
On April 12, there is a Full Moon in Libra, highlighting the romance in your life and bringing forth understanding and compassion within your close relationships. You are letting go of old attachments or self-doubts that haven’t been serving your love life, and are growing closer to your own heart in the process. Before April comes to an end, Mars enters your 3rd house of communication, and you are overall leaving the month focused on your progress, your vision, and taking up space because you deserve to.
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleCANCER
This month is all about balancing your time and energy wisely, Cancer. You are being reminded not to overwork or overwhelm yourself in April, and to focus on doing the things that are within your control right now. The Sun is in your 10th house of career for most of the month so you are feeling really passionate about the things you are developing in your life right now, but it’s all about finding the right balance between your personal goals and your needs in your relationships as well.
The Full Moon in Libra on April 12 will be a time to devote your energy to self-care, close loved ones, and overall getting some time to decompress. You are ready to let go of the things that don’t make you feel safe or nurtured and are receiving an emotional renewal right now. The New Moon in Taurus at the end of the month is a time to focus on your intentions on your community, friendships, and aspirations in life, and to pay attention to where you can create more abundance here.
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleLEO
Things are turning around for you for the better, Leo. April is a dynamic month, and you are owning your inner alchemist. With a Full Moon in your 3rd house of communication on April 12, you are getting the messages you have been looking for and the mental clarity you have found is bringing closure to some of your close relationships. This month is about being flexible and trusting the changes that are happening for you right now.
On April 18, Mars enters your sign until June 17, and this is huge for you. You began the year with Mars retrograde in your sign, so you are getting the opportunity now, to rewrite some of the things that weren’t working for you at the beginning of the year. You are overcoming previous obstacles, and experiencing a breakthrough in your life this month. Before April ends, there is a New Moon in Taurus, highlighting your career, reputation, and professional life. This is a good New Moon to set your intentions for what goals you want to come to fruition for you now.
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleVIRGO
This month is all about building new foundations in your life, Virgo. You are feeling more supported and in tune with your own inner needs and interests, and it’s bringing you closer to people and systems that resonate. Your ruling planet Mercury goes direct this month on April 7 after being retrograde for the past few weeks; bringing more clarity, understanding, and compassion to your partnerships in life. You are focused on love this month and are working together with others to make your dreams come true.
Mid-month, Mars moves into your 12th house of closure and endings, and there is a journey of healing that you experience until June 17. You are motivated to understand yourself better and are looking at the past more right now in order to do so. This is a month of recovering and healing from what has been, for new foundations to be built upon. The New Moon on April 27 is a beautiful way to end the month, as you are getting glimpses of a new, abundant, adventure that is ahead of you.
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleLIBRA
This is a big month of closure for you, Libra. The Sun is in your 7th house of love for most of April, and your heart is in the right place. With Venus, your ruling planet, going direct on April 12 after being retrograde since March 1, you are finally able to take a breath. You are not experiencing as many obstacles when it comes to communication matters and you are feeling like you have the tools you need to move forward right now.
The Full Moon of the month is in your sign on April 12, and you are ready to let go of what isn’t working for you. You have been through a lot recently and have gained the clarity you need to let go of old attachments. Venus moves into your house of love before the month ends, and you are leaving the month feeling more in tune with where things are moving forward for you, rather than what you are leaving behind. Your heart moves through a journey in April, and your emotions are showing you a lot.
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleSCORPIO
April is a month of success, progress, and dreams coming to fruition, Scorpio. You are focused on your health, your priorities, and creating space for the new beginnings that you are creating in your life right now. The Full Moon mid-month is a big closure moment for you, and you are owning the fact that you have healed and you are no longer the same person you were in the past. This is a month of stepping into your power and feeling supported in doing so.
Mid-month, Mars enters your 10th house of career and public life and you are shining within your purpose. Over the next month and a half, you are going to be gaining some new opportunities that will be serving your professional life and goals. This is the month to show up and to let your skills, talents, and authenticity shine. On April 17, there is a New Moon in your opposite sign, Taurus, and you are leaving the month with some pleasant surprises in store for you in love as well.
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleSAGITTARIUS
April is a new beginning for you, Sagittarius. You are focused on putting the action and effort behind your goals, and you are being proactive within the opportunities that you are looking for right now. With a Full Moon in your 11th house of aspirations mid-month, you are letting go of the way you thought things would play out for you and are owning a more abundant version of things.
On April 27, there is a New Moon in Taurus, which will be highlighting your health and what your body needs more of right now. This is a New Moon to set your intentions for your everyday life and to create a new, beneficial routine that will make things easier for you at the end of the day. Before the month ends, Venus enters your 9th house of adventure, and you are leaving the month with your sights set high. Travel plans are likely, and this is a good time to create some new plans for yourself.
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleCAPRICORN
April is about putting one step in front of the other with patience and dedication and trusting the decisions you are making for yourself right now, Capricorn. The Sun is in your 4th house for most of the month, and you are yearning for your safe spaces, comfort foods, and loyal people. Giving yourself more time to decompress, take care of yourself, and ground your energy is essential this month.
Mars enters your 8th house of transformation mid-month and will be fueling your need for some change, excitement, and emotional rejuvenation over the next month and a half. You are entering an impactful moment of the year for you, and you are motivated toward change right now. The New Moon at the end of the month is in a fellow earth sign, highlighting the romantic new beginnings you are entering now. Overall, this month is a process, and you are opening new doors while finding gratitude in what is here for you now.
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleAQUARIUS
April is about giving yourself time to process, accept, and gain a new perspective, Aquarius. You are being guided towards friendship, connection, and community, and are understanding what may be creating the discord in your life that has been distancing you from that. The Full Moon this month is happening in Libra on April 12, and you are ready to let go of feeling like you have to do it all at once or all alone. This month is a reminder to take your time with all the experiences you want to have, trusting that they will come to fruition for you.
Mars enters your house of love and partnership on April 18, and you enter a passionate and steamy time. Romance is in the air for you as you move through the month, and you are spending more of your time with those who you want to move forward with. Venus also moves into a relationship area of your chart before April ends, and you are surrounded by love and community. Overall, this month is showing you that you are not alone and you don’t have to go through the heavy stuff alone either.
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecolePISCES
This is a month where your heart is shining, and you are feeling in tune with the progress you have made in your life and within your relationships, Pisces. You are owning your value, your worth, and the beauty of who you are, and are ready to leave the past behind. With Mercury and Venus both going direct in Pisces this month after being retrograde in your sign for the past few weeks, you are in a better space than you have been, and there are fewer obstacles and miscommunications in your life.
You have been through a journey of understanding yourself better through your goals, perspectives, and interests, and have been committing yourself to your authenticity. On April 27, there is a New Moon in Taurus happening, and this New Moon is a good time for communication matters, getting your message across, and for your creative pursuits. With the clarity you feel within your mind and heart right now, you are making a lot of progress in April and feeling pleased with where life is headed.
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Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
I thought that it was important to address this term for a couple of different reasons. One is for the reason that is mentioned in the origin story of sobergasms that I will address in just a sec. Another is because…people who are in long-term committed relationships? I think it’s pretty safe to say that, unless they both have some sort of substance abuse situation going on, most of them have sex some, if not most of the time, without alcohol (and certainly without drunkenness) being involved. Those who engage in casual/recreational sex, though? Well, I’ve got some stats included in this piece that will show you how much alcohol and copulation go hand in hand in a lot of those instances.
And although some studies say that casual sex (i.e., hook-up culture) isn’t quite as rampant as it was, even just a few years ago, at the same time, let’s not act like it isn’t still happening. Hell, every time we hop on social media, we see evidence (and sometimes fallout) of that. Plus, while many people are out here declaring that they don’t want or need marriage anymore (chile) — do you hear them saying that they feel the same way about sex?Yeah…exactly.
With all of this being said, let’s take a moment to look into what sobergasms are really all about and why, if you are sexually active and are not in anything serious, you should strongly consider having (more of) them.
The Origin Story of Sobergasms Is…
GiphyAight, so here’s the backstory of sobergasms. Last year, right around the holiday season, the sexual wellness brand Lovehoney decided to partner up with an alcohol-free drink company (CleanCo) to create a mocktail (I will share the recipe in just a sec) — you know, a cocktail that doesn’t have any alcohol in it. They did it because their UK (where they are based) research revealed that people tend to drink almost 40 percent more during the holidays (in the US, Americans reportedly drink twice as much as they usually do around that time).
If you add to that the fact that Lovehoney conducted their own study which cited that 64 percent of participants have admitted to having sex while being intoxicated and yet only 20 percent said that they actually enjoyed it.
And that was the main motivation for why Lovehoney came up with sobergasms: it’s a way to encourage people to be more intentional about going without drinking (so much) so that they can engage in the kind of sex that they will actually find to be pleasurable; especially since their findings also discovered that only 29 percent of men and 11 percent of women have consistent orgasms when they are drunk compared to 45 percent of men and 15 percent of women who do when they are sober.
As I thought about all of this, I decided to go on my own fact-finding mission about alcohol and its relationship to sex. It helped me to come up with even more reasons to cosign on sobergasms — and I’m hoping that it will do the same thing for you.
Before I share 10 interesting stats, first, the recipe for the mocktail that Lovehoney and CleanCo came up with:
Sobergasm Clean Drink
25ml fresh lime juice
50ml CleanCo Clean T
1 tbsp fresh orange juice
1 tbsp hot honey
Sea salt, chili flakes, and lime for garnish
You can click here for thorough instructions on how to make it. Over on this side of the pond, we’re pretty big on mocktails ourselves and so, if you'd like to test out some other recipes, check out “10 Spring/Summer Cocktails (& Mocktails) That Your Vagina Will Truly Enjoy” and “Sexy Sips: 8 Fall-Themed Mocktails That Are Aphrodisiacs Too.”
And while you’re pondering which mocktail you would actually like to try first, let’s get into some other reasons why oftentimes “less is best” when it comes to mixing sexual activity with alcohol consumption.
10 Stats to Keep in Mind When It Comes to Mixing Sex with Alcohol
GiphyWhen it comes to how many people partake in alcoholic beverages, Gallup cites that 65 percent of Americans who are over the age of 21 claim to do so. Out of those, the average amount of drinks that they consume on a weekly basis is around four. The preferred drink of choice? Wine (31-35 percent) with liquor being a close second (30 percent). Now factor all of this into your mind as you read the following information about alcohol and its relationship to sex:
1. One study revealed that almost 30 percent of participants were less safe when it came to their sexual decisions due to them having alcohol in their system.
2. About half of the sexual assaults that happen on college campuses involve alcohol whether it’s the perpetrator, the victim, or both.
3. Among college-aged women, when they are having sex while in a relationship, alcohol is involved 20 percent of the time. When it’s casual sex? Alcohol is involved 53 percent of the time (heavy drinking happened a whopping 36 percent of the time).
4. 42 percent of college students binge drink and 400,000 of them have sex without using a condom while consuming alcohol.
5.One study revealed that almost 72 percent of college students regretted their sexual decisions at least once. Out of the ones surveyed, almost 32 percent said that alcohol was involved when they did.
6.Of people aged 18-25, more individuals regretted having sex while having alcohol in their system than they did when it came to weed or ecstasy.
7. Women tend to participate in “non-traditional” sexual acts and masturbate more when they are intoxicated than when they are sober.
8. Although a small amount of alcohol in a woman’s system can arouse them sexually, high amounts will decrease it and can even make it harder for them to become naturally lubricated.
9. Alcohol increases the probability of having more sex partners for women.
10. Alcohol can make it more challenging for women to climax.
When you take all of this in, although I certainly appreciate how Lovehoney has brought to our attention that too much alcohol can make sex less physically pleasurable, as you can see, it can also make coitus more risky, potentially more dangerous and it can cause us to make some pretty unwise decisions, if we’re not careful as well.
And so honestly, this additional intel should further solidify why you should be uber cautious and super careful if you are going to bring alcohol into the picture when it comes to having sex with another person — again, especially if it’s recreational sex. Because even though intercourse, on average, lasts between 3-7 minutes (Google is right there), that small window of time can result in a lifetime of consequences that you may not wish to experience.
Besides, it’s not like sober sex doesn’t have its own benefits…
5 Benefits of Having Sex While You’re Completely Sober
GiphyYou know what’s interesting about the word “sober”? It doesn’t just mean that you aren’t drunk; it also means that you are “rational,” “self-controlled” and “level-headed” — and yes, when you are about to have sex with someone who you aren’t in a serious, long-term or exclusive sexual relationship with, it’s best that you are all of these things. Because while alcohol can initially make you feel like sexual activity will be more fun, sober sex has the following five proven things to offer.
1. You can better trust your decisions. Recently, I watched a video of four women who taped and posted themselves driving drunk. Moments later, all of them were ejected from the vehicle that they were in and only one survived (and she is in critical condition). Imagine if they could go back in time and go without having alcohol in their system before getting in that vehicle. SMDH.
When it comes to today’s topic, no matter what pop culture tries to tell you, any act that can potentially result in you conceiving or contracting something that doesn’t have a cure is serious as all get out. That’s why, especially when it comes to casual sex, you want to make sure that you go into the act as level-headed as possible — and you can only really do that if/when you are sober.
2. You can clearly articulate your needs and expectations. We’ve all seen a movie (or personally know someone) where a woman got tipsy and wanted to do certain sexual things; however, as alcohol began to affect her system even more, she wasn’t sure if she wanted to go further or not. When you’re sober, it’s so much easier to articulate what you want/don’t want and what your expectations are. T
hat said, there are so many people who have sex-related regrets and a big part of the reason is because alcohol totally clouded their judgment and sometimes altered their thoughts and words. Definitely something to (always) keep in mind when it comes to consuming alcohol in the presence of others.
3. You’re more present. I also want to make sure that I touch on some of the things that prompted Lovehoney to come up with sobergasms in the first place. As far as the purely pleasurable side of sex goes, ask anyone who has a satisfying situation in their bedroom and I’m willing to bet that one thing that they will advise is to not overthink the experience and to remain in the moment.
When you’re intoxicated, your mind tends to be all over the place. When you’re sober-minded, it’s easier to remain focused.
4. Sex definitely tends to be more pleasurable. I’ve already shared with you that you are wetter and it’s easier for you to climax when you don’t have a lot of alcohol in your system. A part of the reason is that, since your brain is your biggest sex organ, it’s important to keep in mind that alcohol has a way of negatively affecting the communication pathways of your brain; when that happens, it can cause your moods to become erratic and you tend to become less coordinated too.
Not well-lubricated. Not climaxing. In a bad mood. Do those that sound like the keys to an awesome sexual experience? Right…absolutely not.
5. There is a lot less regret. Once you have sex with someone, you can’t take it back. That’s why it’s so important that you go into the act feeling like this is something that you really want to do (the person and the acts included); you significantly decrease the chances of you having this type of certainty when you’re not sober. And sexual regret can sometimes be one of the hardest things to get past.
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Sobergasms. Although there seem to be new terms that come up daily, one that I can definitely get behind is that. Because it encourages everyone to be sober-minded and sexually responsible in order to ultimately have a more fulfilling sexual experience.
And I will certainly raise a mocktail to that.
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