Dear Queen is a series dedicated to letters from women written for themselves and other women. Have a "Dear Queen" letter? We want to read it! E-mail your letters to submissions@xonecole.com with the subject: Dear Queen.
To the woman who struggles to celebrate herself:
I see you.
Although you may feel as though the crown you wear is chipped, oversized, and at times too heavy to carry, you and your accomplishments still matter. Your successes and accomplishments are still valid no matter the size, journey, or criticized judgment from others around you.
At times, you allow your anxiety to trump your creativity and your own happiness. I am writing to you because I want to share a message: what you accomplish, create, and work toward is larger than that defeat. It may be tough, letting the vibes of anxiety and weariness pass a frequency to you that presses you down, making you believe that your self-celebrations do not matter.
Last week, my fellow Queen had to pass a gentle reminder to myself, celebrating yourself is the first step to self-care. If you do not celebrate you first, how can you allow others to celebrate and support you?
Playing Superwoman is in your nature. It is ingrained in you to help, heal, and listen to others but who is your Superwoman?
It can be you if you allow it to be. You can give yourself surprise dinners, positive affirmations, and pats on the back for accomplishing a milestone, no matter the weight.
No matter how small the accomplishment or how large the failure, the first step is recognizing that you put in the effort to go toward something you wanted.
It can be easy to swim into a sea of regret or trip on our words but what matters most is that you tried.
Struggling with perfectionism is something that has caused blockage in my own journey to celebrating myself; so I am writing this letter to share that there is beauty in imperfection. Although it may be hard to see, there is someone else who finds your courage, strength and compassion motivating, so don't dim your own light.
You cannot always expect others to be excited about what God is doing in your life, but what you can work toward is more self-celebration. Your accomplishments are not measured by how many applauds you receive, how many "likes" or comments are posted and your accomplishments are truly not defined by how much someone else accepts them.
You eagerly wait for the "we regret to inform you..." rejection or you expect the worst when submitting your best work. You consistently put your best foot forward but forget to allow yourself grace in the process. At times, your charisma and laughter can light up a room but behind closed doors, you secretly hide the fact that you are battling between being proud of your current accomplishments and being too hard on yourself, your own worst enemy saying "you need to go a little harder."
As stated above, allow yourself grace.
You often silence yourself and your accomplishments due to fear of outshining someone else or being criticized for having the motivation and courage to go toward something you may actually want but are too afraid themselves; GO FOR IT.
Do not allow yourself to be a victim of self-sabotage, celebrate your joy and the need to want to see your accomplishments come to fruition.
There is value in reflecting on how far you have come. To see yourself and the growth you have made over the years is something within itself to celebrate. The habits you have broken, the relationships you have ended, and the toxicity that you have wiped clean out of your life have helped you elevate to new heights, and it deserves a celebration.
So when you pick up your pen to create art, when you book a solo trip, when you apply for that job or institution, and most importantly when you overall do something that you want to do that allows all your courage, strength, and self-belief, celebrate yourself and the accomplishment.
Celebrate yourself more in 2019 and beyond! Acknowledge even the small accomplishments.
To the woman who struggles to celebrate herself,
I see you.
Signed,
A black woman working toward celebrating herself, her crown and all the failures that make the successes worth it!
*Originally published on Heather Jhene
Heather J. Macon is a writer, published author, blogger residing in Georgia. As a self-care advocate, Heather enjoys blogging and writing poetry on the topics of self-care, self-love and journeying as a young adult. She is a self-published author of "Watering her Roots," a collection of poetry, prose and letters.
Featured image by Getty Images
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The show is exactly what you’d expect when you put a media pro and a sports legend together—a mix of real talk, unfiltered moments, and guest interviews that feel like family kickbacks. As the duo wraps up their first season, Rocsi sat down with xoNecole to talk about teaming up with Deion, the wildest moments on set, and why streaming platforms like Tubi are shaking up the talk show world.
Scoring the Gig & Clicking Instantly with Deion
Photo by Paras Griffin/Getty Images for Essence
Deion Sanders had been dreaming of hosting a talk show, and when Tubi came calling, it was only right he made it happen. But before he found the perfect co-host, he held auditions with different women for the spot.
Lucky for us, Rocsi threw her hat in the ring, and the connection was instant. “You just can’t buy chemistry like we have,” she tells us. “We are legit like big brother, little sister—fighting, cracking jokes, telling each other off. When you watch the show, it’s like watching family.”
Mixing News, Culture & Sports—Minus the Snooze
With We Got Time Today, Rocsi and Deion cover everything from the latest headlines to celebrity tea and, of course, sports. But instead of stiff, rehearsed segments, the show keeps it loose and unpredictable.
“We’re not breaking the mold—it’s not rocket science,” Rocsi jokes. “We just bring our own flair, our authenticity, and our personalities to it. Deion has firsthand experience in sports, so when we talk about athletes, he brings a different perspective.”
And the best part? Unlike traditional talk shows that rush through quick interviews, We Got Time Today actually takes its time. “A lot of shows might give you one or two segments with a guest,” Rocsi says. “With us, we actually sit down and have real-life conversations.”
Her Top Guests (So Far!)
From music icons to relationship experts, the show has already had some unforgettable guests—but a few stand out for Rocsi.
“Ice Cube was our first guest, and he’s just legendary,” she says. “Kirk Franklin had us cracking up when he broke into a full choir freestyle for our Christmas special. And anytime we get Dr. Bryant on to put Deion in the hot seat? That’s my favorite!”
And of course, there’s Nick Cannon. “Nick was amazing,” she adds. “You already know he’s going to bring the energy and say something wild.”
Tag-Team Hosting with Deion: The Inside Scoop
While Deion Sanders is best known for his football greatness, Rocsi says he’s also one of the funniest people she’s ever worked with.
“He’s goofy—like, really goofy,” she laughs. “A lot of people didn’t know that side of him, but now they do. He can crack a joke, and if you’re too sensitive, good luck, because he will go in. But the best part? I throw it right back at him! Sometimes we just look at each other like, ‘Okay, that was a good one.’”
But beyond the laughs, she admires his insane work ethic. “Watching him juggle everything he does is just super admirable,” she says.
How "We Got Time Today" Brings That "106 & Park" Energy
Photo by David Livingston/Getty Images
For those wondering if We Got Time Today feels like 106 & Park 2.0, Rocsi says it’s a whole different vibe.
“The only comparison I’d make is that it’s a destination for the culture,” she explains. “It’s a platform where our people can come, feel safe, and have real conversations. But other than that, this is Deion’s world—we’re just having fun in it.”
The Talk Show Shake-Up: Why This Show Hits Different
Unlike traditional networks, We Got Time Today lives exclusively on Tubi, proving that streaming platforms are changing how we watch talk shows.
“Tubi is giving more people opportunities and making content more accessible,” Rocsi says. “Deion is a huge Tubi fan—he literally loves Black cinema—so it just made sense for him. And honestly? He’s got me watching it too!”
Real Ones Only: Women Holding Each Other Down
Rocsi credits her best friend, Chantelle, for always keeping her grounded. “She kept pouring into me, reminding me of who I am,” she shares. Even Deion Sanders makes sure to give her flowers, often calling her “the hostess with the most.”
In the industry, she’s built lasting bonds with women like Julissa Bermundez, Angie Martinez, and Angela Yee. “Julissa and I still kick it—her house is basically Sephora, so I just shop there,” she jokes. She also cherishes her friendships with Melyssa Ford and Robin Roberts, who have offered unwavering support. “Robin has always been there for me,” Rocsi says, reflecting on the wisdom she’s gained from the legendary journalist.
With the show’s first season wrapping up, Rocsi is grateful for the experience and excited for what’s next. “We’re having a good time, and the audience can feel that,” she says.
And if you haven’t tuned in yet? Well, Rocsi and Deion got time—so you might as well make some too.
Catch We Got Time Today now streaming on Tubi!
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