Aside from creating beauty content, you can find me 10,000 feet in the air traveling the world as a flight attendant. Every day isn't all glitz and glamour, but overall the benefits make everything worth it. To be completely transparent, there are bad days. You'll be away from your friends and family, customers aren't always nice, the days are long, and you're always on the go. On the flip side, no day is the same. I meet so many different people on a daily basis and I get to travel anywhere with whomever I want. The world is literally at my fingertips.
One of my favorite things about being a flight attendant, besides the travel, of course, is the flexibility. Some days start earlier and some days start when the rest of the world is ending theirs. I can choose what type of trip I want: if I want to go away for a few days, I can; if I want to come right back home, I can do that too. I personally prefer three-day domestic trips. I like to see a couple of places and then go home, but that can also change depending on what my plans are. To balance out my creative schedule with my work, sometimes it's necessary for me to go to work and come right back home.
My schedule varies a lot so it's important that I make planning a priority. There's no such thing as a routine for me and I like it. I love knowing that every day is going to give me a new thrill and nothing ever becomes mundane. Today is one of those days, I decided to do something completely different, challenge myself, and make a little extra cash so I picked up an international trip to Amsterdam. Picking up a trip is as simple as checking our board to see what flights need to be staffed. I want to make more money so I'm looking for high-time (high-hour trips because we get paid by the hour) and international because we get paid more for those flights.
Now, follow me on my three-day work trip to Amsterdam.
Monday
The first day probably won't be the most exciting, it will consist of a lot of preparation. Keep in mind I can't share as much as I would like because of security reasons (a girl ain't tryna lose her job) but I will share as much as possible.
10:00a: I wake up and check my phone (Instagram, emails, texts, etc.); not the best habit in the morning but I'm working on it. I also check what time I'm supposed to get to the airport, which is 18:50 aka 6:50 p.m.
10:15a: Brush my teeth and wash my face. Then, I charge all my devices: my work phone, camera, computer, and personal phone. Next, I check the weather: it's looking like it's going to be 40-55 degrees in Amsterdam while I'm there.
10:30a: I make a cup of coffee and some breakfast. Then watch my training materials on international trip service. I don't do international trips often, so I need to reacquaint myself with the material. I've also never been on this plane so I also need to get familiar with that.
11:45a: Start ironing my uniform, pack my bags for my trip, turn on my diffuser, listen to music, set my intentions, and get ready for the day. This is the self-care part of my day so I spend a lot of time just getting my mind right.
Courtesy of Krissy Lewis
1:00p: Squeeze in a quick 45-60 minute workout. I'm going to focus on just abs and cardio today. I get on the elliptical machine in my garage and get it in. It's hard to create an actual schedule so I squeeze in workouts as often as I can. I should also mention that I just got back into working out again after a month-long hiatus.
2:00p: Start getting ready for work.
3:30p: Eat again and finish working on articles.
Sidebar: My days are long AF! You see my day has started way before my actual work day because there are still personal and creative things that need to be done. I also had to review some material for work. Even though we're trained for multiple aircrafts and services, we don't use them every day so it requires a little reviewing.
5:00p: Head to the airport, go through security, and head to the crew lounge.
6:50p: Meet my crew and pilots then do our briefing for our 7hr 48min flight to Amsterdam. I can't spill too much about our briefings but that is where we go over the need-to-know of our trip before we actually head to the plane.
7:40p: Get to the plane and check our emergency equipment, and set up the in-flight amenities.
7:50p: Start boarding.
8:44p: Takeoff.
9:15p-ish: We've taken off and we start our service. I worked up front in first class as the aisle flight attendant. Aisle flight attendants usually interact with the first class customers, serve meals and beverages. I wish I was able to take more photos but this part of the flight happens so fast there just wasn't enough time. Once in the air, we begin bar cart with beverages and warm nuts.
9:30p: Now it's time to bring out the food. I serve all the meals and bring out our base cart. This cart has soups, bread, and more drinks!
9:50p: Pick up all the trays and meals and get ready to serve dessert.
10:10p: Now it's time for me to serve dessert. For this service, I serve fruit, cheese, ice cream, cake of the night, and teas/wine.
It's back-to-back so we can take care of the customers, give them everything they need before they go to sleep.
10:40p: Clean-up all the trays and galley area.
11:00p: First crew rest break. This isn't my break but the first set of flight attendants take a break and we cover for them until their break is over.
Tuesday
1:30a-ish: It's my turn to take a break. On international trips, we have a crew rest area that allows us to take a nap. We have 2 sets of breaks, crew rest 1 and crew rest 2. I was a part of the second round and I slept for about 1 hour and 20 min before I started service again.
3:20a: We begin our pre-arrival breakfast service.
5:02a: We land in Amsterdam. It's technically 11:02a in Amsterdam.
Courtesy of Krissy Lewis
Let's switch over to CET (Central European Standard Time)
12:15p: We check into the hotel and get settled. I took a shower and changed so I can start my 24hr layover. I usually take a nap but since I got in later than expected, I want to head out.
1:40p: Head out to the city. I took the Ferry out into the city and explored.
I visited the Red Light District, Primark, and tried some french fries. Amsterdam is known for its french fries and mayo, so it was only right that I try it!
Courtesy of Krissy Lewis
Courtesy of Krissy Lewis
Courtesy of Krissy Lewis
I want to include this because it's important. I explored alone and before every trip I make sure I'm prepared to travel and have fun alone. The crews that I work with don't always want to do something and that's fine. So, it's important to be comfortable and open to going out solo.
I also visited over the edge to take in the beautiful view of Amsterdam.
Courtesy of Krissy Lewis
Courtesy of Krissy Lewis
Courtesy of Krissy Lewis
6:00p: Took a holiday light boat tour. (Sorry, I couldn't get much pictures because it was so dark and rainy).
8:00p: Got back to the hotel and got ready for bed. Getting ready for bed includes: removing my makeup and doing my bedtime skincare routine, showering, preparing my clothes for work, and unwinding in my thoughts.
Wednesday
Time to go home!
11:00a: Get picked up from the hotel. We have drivers that take us to and from the hotel whenever we layover anywhere.
11:45a: Arrive at the airport and go through security.
12:15p: Get to the plane, brief with the captain, and start setting up and boarding to head back to Atlanta.
1:11p: Takeoff.
1:30p: We're starting service. As a crew, we tend to rotate positions, so instead of working in first class, I'll be working in the main cabin. The first step in our service is to distribute menus and water. I'm working on the left side of the main cabin so I make sure every passenger has menus, water, and silverware. We continue service for about an hour and a half.
3:00p: It's time for the first crew rest break. Because the flight is longer (9 hours going back to Atlanta) and we finished service a bit earlier, our rest is 2 hours.
5:00p: The next crew takes their break and we start preparing for the second service.
7:00p: We start our pre-arrival service.
8:30: End service and prepare for landing. By this time it's 3:30 p.m. EST.
Switch over to Eastern Standard Time.
4:20p: We land in Atlanta and clear Customs.
5:10p: Get home and unwind.
This wraps up my three-day trip to Amsterdam. It's a pretty long three days but, to me, it's definitely worth it. I can travel and stay in nice hotels on the company's dime, I can check out places in and out of the country to see which ones I may want to travel back to for leisure and it exposes me to so many things — culture, self-revelations, travel, etc.
Featured image via Krissy Lewis
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Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Alistair Berg/Getty ImagesStep 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
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And that is why, while I was recently out in cyberspace seeing what the topic of sex had to offer (of merit), a particular study especially caught my attention. The reason why is because, while the topic of faking orgasms has been explored, pretty much ad nauseam at this point, what I haven’t personally seen a lot and enough of is how to stop them from happening so much and when people do them, what personally caused them to in the first place.
Today, we’re going to strive to get down to the root of some of those queries. And so, if you’ve always been curious about how to make the cycle of faking orgasms stop, this piece just might shed a little light. Here’s hoping anyway, chile.
Faking Orgasms. Why I Loathe It So.
GiphyDo you ever stop to think about certain songs from back in the day and wonder if they were released now, would people try to cancel them (hmph, as if this culture ever really cancels anybody for really anything, right?)? An example of what I mean is Alexander O’Neal’s song, “Fake”. If you’re too young to know it, or it’s been a while since you’ve heard it, feel free to go back and listen to the lyrics in order to grasp where I am coming from.
And why am I bringing it up in the context of today’s conversation? Well, whenever I think about folks faking orgasms, that song almost instantly plays in the background of my mind because, while he’s basically talking about the word from the definition of “to conceal the defects of or make appear more attractive, interesting, valuable, etc.,” when I think of “faking it” in a sexual way, definitions like “to deceive,” “to pretend” and “anything made to appear otherwise than it actually is” are what I ponder — because y’all, I don’t care how many people do it, how can any of those definitions truly be good, right or helpful when it comes to copulation? Deceiving your partner into thinking that you climaxed when you actually didn’t? Pretending to be satisfied when you actually aren’t? Making sex appear like it’s one kind of experience for you when it actually…isn’t? SMDH. Yeah, that is something that I can never personally get behind, which is why I once penned, “Why You Should Stop Faking Orgasms ASAP” for the platform. To me, since sex is about establishing a profound mental, emotional, and physical connection, how can that truly and authentically happen if one or both involved individuals are not being honest with each other about what they want, need and desire in order to make that happen?
Yeah, when it comes to the ever so popular fake orgasms, I’ll pass and will forever encourage others to do the same.
Faking Orgasms. Why So Many People Do It.
GiphyHere’s what’s wild, though — even if what I just said made complete and total sense to you, there’s still a really good chance that you’ve faked at least one orgasm before (check out “So, 10 Women Sat Down And Told Me Why They Fake Orgasms...More Times Than Not”). Know what else? There’s also a good chance that your partner has done the same (check out “Men Fake Orgasms (And 14 Other Semi-Random Things About Them In Bed)”. And why is it that so many continue to do it, even if, in the back of their mind, they believe that it’s at least somewhat counterproductive?
Well, from the personal conversations (and coaching sessions) that I’ve had with both men and women, the top reason for why so many men fake orgasms is because they don’t want to hurt their partner’s feelings by telling them that the sex isn’t as good as they might think that it is, and when it comes to women, they fake in order to hurry up and get the experience over with — which, when you really think about it, for both genders, the motives are pretty much two sides of the same coin: people not being satisfied and trying to avoid sharing that reality with their partner.
OK, butwhat does science say is the main cause for men and women faking it? Well, a top reason for whya lot of men decide to go that route is because they simply want to get the experience over with (although being unable to orgasm due to drunkenness, medication, and/or boredom ranked pretty highly, too). And women? Difficulty achieving an orgasm is the biggest one (check out “How Can You Know For Sure That You've Had An Orgasm?” and “Ladies, Please Stop Pressuring Yourself Over Vaginal Orgasms”). Hmph, when I stop to take this all in, I find both reasons to be unfortunate. On the male tip, is it just me, or does it seem like there is a real disconnect of intimacy if that is why men fake it? What I mean by that is, if you’d rather “hurry up and get done” — are you having sex with your partner or at your partner (some of y’all will catch that later)? And, as far as the ladies go, if you are so uncomfortable and/or self-conscious and/or embarrassed about not being able to climax to the point that you will lie and say that you did — do you trust your partner enough to tell him the truth and then are you willing to work through the process of achieving an orgasm…together?
These types of questions are what piqued my curiosity when I happened upon a study of over 11,000 participants that transpired over in the UK. The focal point of it? Since faking orgasms is so prevalent, what actually causes people to stop? Because listen, none of us are actually going to get anywhere if we only focus on the problem and don’t seek to find some sort of solution (lawd).
Faking Orgasms. What Actually Makes People Stop.
GiphyOK, so from what I’ve read and researched, The Journal of Sex Research hassemi-recently published the study that I was just referring to. Before we get into what caused people to stop lying — umm, faking orgasms, check out these findings first:
·51 percent of participants claimed to have never faked an orgasm before
·Close to 66 percent of men and 34 percent of women say that they have faked an orgasm
·Almost 19 percent of men and 35 percent of women say that although they have faked one in the past, they have since stopped
·Almost nine percent of men and 20 percent of women are currently “faking it”
Yeah, I already know. The discrepancies between the men and women are quite noticeable. Let’s keep going, though, because the reason for why men and women decided to stop is the main reason why we’re all here — plus, it’s pretty interesting.
So, when it comes to the demographic of individuals who no longer fake it, what brought them to that point and place? Fascinatingly enough, around 26 percent of both men and women said that the communication between them and their partner improved while 24 percent of both men and women said that it was because their partner became more attentive. Well looka there — when couples connected on a mental and emotional level, the physical aspect of sex got better. Some other points did come into play, though:
·Around 29 percent of women and 25 percent of men decided to be content without having an orgasm
·Around 19 percent of men and 18 percent of women decided to get orgasms on their own (i.e., masturbate)
·Around 19 percent of men and (wow) two percent of women were caught faking it
·Around 15 percent of men and 10 percent are currently not having sex
OK, so when you read all of that, what tripped you out the most? As someone who works with married couples and is a huge advocate of them gettingthe most pleasure possible out of their sexual experiences, honestly, the first three (because, if you are married, please don’t settle fora sexless dynamic). I’ll break down why for each one.
First, if you used to fake orgasms and no longer do because you have settled for — pardon the pun — anti-climatic copulation…settling is exactly what you are doing. Listen, even if you’re not able to achieve a vaginal orgasm (and many women are not), it’s important to remember that there are oh so many other kinds to choose from (check out “U-Spot Orgasm, Fantasy Orgasm & 6 Other Orgasms You Should Try Tonight”). And what if you’ve tried those and still there are nofireworks? Make an appointment to see your doctor (to get your hormone levels checked) and/or a sex therapist (check out “Have You Ever Wondered If You Should See A Sex Therapist?”). Remember, the reason whyyou have a clitoris is so that you can experience the heights of sexual pleasure. If that’s not happening for you, it’s important to do all that you can to get to the root of why.
Secondly, not faking it because you have taken matters into your own hands — literally. So, here’s my issue with that. Unfortunately, our culture is so lust-crazed that we tend to forget (or is it ignore?) that sex shouldn’t ONLY be about cumming; sex should also be about connecting. And so, while masturbation may help you out in the climaxing department, it’s essential to not get so used to it that you fail to bond with your partner or that you put up walls of resentment because there are things that are happening when you’re alone that aren’t happening when the two of you are together. In other words, don’t let jacking off or solo sex toy experiences get in the way of heartfelt and honest conversations with your partner about your sexual needs (check out “How To Get More Of What You Need In The Bedroom” and “Sooo...What's Your Favorite TYPE Of Sex?”).
Finally, getting caught lying — again, I mean, faking it. Yeah, I know that I’m not the only one who noticed that there is a pretty big difference between how many women caught their man acting like he had an orgasm when he didn’t vs. how many men noticed that their lady acting like she had an orgasm when she didn’t. To that, let me first say that if you thought, “If a man ejaculated, he came. Duh” — look updry orgasms sometime. Believe it or not, it is possible for men to orgasm without cumming. And to the fellas (who may be reading this): I continue to be amazed by how you can’t tell if a woman is faking it because even if she is yelling and screaming at the top of her lungs, if her vagina isn’t contracting, guess what? Yeah, between that and extra lubrication coming from her vaginal area —those are pretty common signs that an orgasm has transpired; this basically means that if you don’t notice these things going down, how attentive of a sex partner are you? #justsaying3 Tips to Avoid Faking Orgasms
GiphyNow that you know what science says about why people fake orgasms, did any of the intel surprise you? More importantly, if you can personally relate to what was said, did any of the information inspire you to make some changes in your own sex life? Yeah, if faking orgasms is indeed a thing in your own world right now, as I close this out, here's three quick tips:
1. Remember the definitions of fake. Never forget them. Deception. Pretending. Making something look like something that it is not. No time to get into all of this today, yet I have worked with many people who fake orgasms and…fake other things in their relationship. You don’t want to deceive your partner or yourself. It’s not going to help the relationship. Ultimately, it’s only going to cause hurt and/or harm. Communicate your thoughts and feelings in the way that you would like to hear someone convey theirs to you (respectfully, thoughtfully, etc.); do make sure to share them, though.
2. Stop “performing”. Start being REAL. Know who fakes a lot of orgasms? Porn actors (I prefer to call them that over “porn stars”). That’s because sex work is…work; it’s a billion-dollar industry that people get paid to act like sex is always the bomb. You’re not a porn actor, so why put that kind of pressure on yourself? No matter what the reasons are for why an orgasm isn’t coming for you, if you are having sex with someone who can’t handle the realness of the reasons or “worse”, doesn’t care — don’t put that on the sex or yourself. Sis, you are simply sleeping with the wrong person/people.
3. If you build it, one way or another, it will come…and you will cum.Do orgasms come easier for some than others? 1000 and 10 percent. That is absolutely not the point, though. If experiencing this type of pleasure is what you long for, with the help of your intentions, your partner’s willingness, and if need be, professional assistance, you can get there. Not by faking it — by being honest about the fact that you need more time, patience, and empathy.
____
Clearly, faking orgasms is a common thing; that doesn’t mean that it has to be the case for you, though. As you unpack what has made you start, process how to make it all stop.
Hmph. Better to take a while in order to experience what true bliss feels like than to keep faking it and never really know.
Words to live — and lie down — by. #wink
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Featured image by Giphy