The only thing constant in life is change and if these past couple of years have shown us nothing else, it’s that life be life-ing. Amid the pandemic, we saw (and continue to see) a lot of change in the way we lead our lives. It shifted the way we work, the way we approached our health and lifestyles, and the way we dated. This year is shaping up to display change in a different way, as many of us enter a season of a new normal and adapt to dating trends that better mirror who and how we are today. The weather is heating up and so is the potential for romance, as once again, we are shedding our homebody ways and radiating big “we outside” energy.
Dating trends in 2022 are less about the virtual dates and video call introductions of 2020 and more about mindful and exploratory dating. If you find yourself wanting to test the dating waters this summer, here are the trends Bumble predicts are on the rise for 2022. And as the old saying goes, stay ready so you don’t have to get ready.
Being single is a vibe.
Since the pandemic, mindfulness has been a buzzword that is constantly at the forefront in many facets of our lives. All it means is a focused awareness of the present moment. And if you ask me, it’s a welcomed addition to how single people choose to date. ‘Choose’ is the operative word here. Social isolation has reportedly brought about a rebirth of enjoying one’s solitude. This in turn makes 53% of Bumble respondents cite that they were okay with being single, while 54% of single daters want to be mindful about when and how they date.
Mindful dating allows for daters to be one with themselves while also being present with potential dates. Instead of fighting their relationship status, this person is grounded and centered in their journey to love and the growth that comes with it. Mindful dating can look like communication that is open and honest, self-honesty, understanding your emotions, and ensuring your actions are in alignment with that.
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Open-mindness is reaching new heights.
“Exploratory” is the dating approach that 43% of Bumble respondents listed as their focus in 2022. Furthermore, open-mindedness is becoming more of a focus in the way we date. As time passes, people grow and so do their tastes. Daters are reportedly less likely to stick to a specific “type,” and are expanding their horizons to accommodate people and experiences that pull them outside of their comfort zones and speak more to the person they are now. More openness is also being placed on the types of relationships we are in as well, as single daters are more exploratory of different relationship dynamics and styles.
When it comes to attracting love and people, single folks are practicing flexibility, and adaptability, and are reserving judgment to widen the pool and experiment with aspects in a partner and a partnership that they otherwise might not have considered.
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Dry dating is a thing.
The customary “let’s meet for drinks” is increasingly becoming a thing of the past. The stress, uncertainty, heightened awareness around mortality, and grief surrounding the height of the pandemic led to many people gravitating toward drinking more alcohol. Dry dating and sober-curious dating have started to see an uptick in popularity as 25% of people in the U.S. say that they are drinking less than they were pre-pandemic.
And what is sober-curious dating? It's just as its name alludes: a curiosity of dabbling in sobriety by decreasing your alcohol consumption. The intent isn’t necessarily to quit drinking completely, but it is about making more choices in dating that aren’t alcohol-centric. Some ways you can engage in dry dating or sober curious dating include going to the movies, the bowling alley, visiting a museum, meeting up for coffee, or even a non-alcoholic drink (mocktails are all the rage these days).
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Skylar sees things differently. At the time, she was shooting content on her iPhone. Temi came into the picture with a new perspective, an understanding of tech, and, eventually, a camera. “He doesn't give himself enough credit,” Skylar says. “He wasn't just my tripod. He wasn't just standing behind the camera and going ‘click.’ He was giving advice. He was giving me insight to how I could look at things from a different perspective. And I was like, 'Oh, he’s an artist.' I think it was maybe a heartbeat of that kind of energy of like, ‘Baby, can you take this picture?’ And it turned so quickly into, we're partners. We can work together in a way where we're advancing each other's creative thinking.”
The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Temi and SkylarCj Hart @hartbreakToday, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak