If you're anything like me, you've got a list of all the things you want in a man. Maybe it's that he is tall, ambitious, and spiritual. Or that he's romantic and treats his mom well. But I'd venture to say that nowhere on that list did you pencil in "must have kid from prior relationship." In fact, it's probably quite the opposite.
Yet, realistically, adding the "no kid" requirement to your list of must-haves could have a huge impact on your dating pool. A recent study by John Hopkins indicates that 63% of men who reported a birth had at least one child outside of marriage…and that's A LOT of men.
Based on this information, there is a high possibility that you will bump into a cutie you vibe with, only to find out that he has a kid.
Rather than immediately throwing the whole man away, there are four considerations that women should evaluate on a case by case basis.
What kind of father is he?
Someone once told me that the best way to determine whether or not I should become serious with a man was to imagine him being the father of my child. She encouraged me to ask myself whether his personality traits, work ethic, and character embodied the type of man I would choose to forever influence a little life I loved.
Ironically, that thought process helped me scratch off lots of guys from my dating list. And even more ironic was that seeing the love my husband had for our son confirmed that he was someone I could trust to lead my family.
Watching him do things like drive a total of 16 hours to make it to his son's birthday party and back home in time for work the next day, showed me the lengths he'd go to for someone he loved. Pay close attention to the type of Dad your guy is to his child. It says a lot about how he values important relationships.
What is the dynamic between your guy and the mother of the child?
The world stereotypes blended families as full of drama. However, I've also witnessed peaceful situations where people make it work. Like anything, there will be growing pains and tough times.
The standard is not perfection, but you should be on the lookout for mutual respect between parents. Take note of whether the situation is fairly fresh and how they communicate with each other.
There is no one size fits all solution for the dynamic that works best. The key is to pay attention to the interactions and determine whether you can live with them if they stayed the same forever.
How do you fit in?
As I got more serious with my husband, I loved that he made sure I never felt second. In every situation, he's got my back and values my emotions.
Sure, kids demand a ton of attention. But that doesn't mean that you should be sidelined as a result.
Reconsider moving forward if you always feel like a second-class citizen who comes after the demands of the child, or if the mother of the child dictates how the guy interacts with you. However, be sure that you are being realistic and reasonable in your expectations. An accountability partner can often be helpful for a self-check.
Who are you, really?
It takes a special woman to step in as a bonus mom. Check the content of your heart. Under the right circumstances, could you be selfless enough to love a child you did not birth as if he or she is your own?
Thinking through these questions will help you determine if your issue is with having an extra life to love, or largely centered on avoiding drama. If it is the latter, love could be right around the corner with an open mind and the proper amount of vetting.
Want more stories like this? Check out these xoNecole articles:
Blended Family: How To Be A Better Bonus Mom
Jada Pinkett Smith's Co-Mothering Conversation With Will Smith's Ex-Wife Was Powerful
This Ex-Couple Turns Pain into Power After Reading Letters to Each Other's Spouses
Mashonda & Alicia Keys' Co-Mothering Relationship Is A Reminder That Blended Families Can Be Lit
Featured image by Getty Images
- 7 Tips About Dating Guys Who Have Kids | Thought Catalog ›
- What it's like dating a man with a child in your twenties ›
- Dating a Man with Kids - YouTube ›
- 4 Ways to Date a Man Who Has a Child when You Don't - wikiHow ›
- What it feels like to date a man with kids ›
- Dating a man with kids - eharmony Relationship Advice ›
- What it's like dating a man who already has kids ›
- Dating a Guy With Kids? 6 Things You Must Find Out! | HuffPost ›
- Best advice I ever got for dating a guy with kids: Be like a cat, not a dog ›
- What You Should Know About Dating a Man With Children | HuffPost ›
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The show is exactly what you’d expect when you put a media pro and a sports legend together—a mix of real talk, unfiltered moments, and guest interviews that feel like family kickbacks. As the duo wraps up their first season, Rocsi sat down with xoNecole to talk about teaming up with Deion, the wildest moments on set, and why streaming platforms like Tubi are shaking up the talk show world.
Scoring the Gig & Clicking Instantly with Deion
Photo by Paras Griffin/Getty Images for Essence
Deion Sanders had been dreaming of hosting a talk show, and when Tubi came calling, it was only right he made it happen. But before he found the perfect co-host, he held auditions with different women for the spot.
Lucky for us, Rocsi threw her hat in the ring, and the connection was instant. “You just can’t buy chemistry like we have,” she tells us. “We are legit like big brother, little sister—fighting, cracking jokes, telling each other off. When you watch the show, it’s like watching family.”
Mixing News, Culture & Sports—Minus the Snooze
With We Got Time Today, Rocsi and Deion cover everything from the latest headlines to celebrity tea and, of course, sports. But instead of stiff, rehearsed segments, the show keeps it loose and unpredictable.
“We’re not breaking the mold—it’s not rocket science,” Rocsi jokes. “We just bring our own flair, our authenticity, and our personalities to it. Deion has firsthand experience in sports, so when we talk about athletes, he brings a different perspective.”
And the best part? Unlike traditional talk shows that rush through quick interviews, We Got Time Today actually takes its time. “A lot of shows might give you one or two segments with a guest,” Rocsi says. “With us, we actually sit down and have real-life conversations.”
Her Top Guests (So Far!)
From music icons to relationship experts, the show has already had some unforgettable guests—but a few stand out for Rocsi.
“Ice Cube was our first guest, and he’s just legendary,” she says. “Kirk Franklin had us cracking up when he broke into a full choir freestyle for our Christmas special. And anytime we get Dr. Bryant on to put Deion in the hot seat? That’s my favorite!”
And of course, there’s Nick Cannon. “Nick was amazing,” she adds. “You already know he’s going to bring the energy and say something wild.”
Tag-Team Hosting with Deion: The Inside Scoop
While Deion Sanders is best known for his football greatness, Rocsi says he’s also one of the funniest people she’s ever worked with.
“He’s goofy—like, really goofy,” she laughs. “A lot of people didn’t know that side of him, but now they do. He can crack a joke, and if you’re too sensitive, good luck, because he will go in. But the best part? I throw it right back at him! Sometimes we just look at each other like, ‘Okay, that was a good one.’”
But beyond the laughs, she admires his insane work ethic. “Watching him juggle everything he does is just super admirable,” she says.
How "We Got Time Today" Brings That "106 & Park" Energy
Photo by David Livingston/Getty Images
For those wondering if We Got Time Today feels like 106 & Park 2.0, Rocsi says it’s a whole different vibe.
“The only comparison I’d make is that it’s a destination for the culture,” she explains. “It’s a platform where our people can come, feel safe, and have real conversations. But other than that, this is Deion’s world—we’re just having fun in it.”
The Talk Show Shake-Up: Why This Show Hits Different
Unlike traditional networks, We Got Time Today lives exclusively on Tubi, proving that streaming platforms are changing how we watch talk shows.
“Tubi is giving more people opportunities and making content more accessible,” Rocsi says. “Deion is a huge Tubi fan—he literally loves Black cinema—so it just made sense for him. And honestly? He’s got me watching it too!”
Real Ones Only: Women Holding Each Other Down
Rocsi credits her best friend, Chantelle, for always keeping her grounded. “She kept pouring into me, reminding me of who I am,” she shares. Even Deion Sanders makes sure to give her flowers, often calling her “the hostess with the most.”
In the industry, she’s built lasting bonds with women like Julissa Bermundez, Angie Martinez, and Angela Yee. “Julissa and I still kick it—her house is basically Sephora, so I just shop there,” she jokes. She also cherishes her friendships with Melyssa Ford and Robin Roberts, who have offered unwavering support. “Robin has always been there for me,” Rocsi says, reflecting on the wisdom she’s gained from the legendary journalist.
With the show’s first season wrapping up, Rocsi is grateful for the experience and excited for what’s next. “We’re having a good time, and the audience can feel that,” she says.
And if you haven’t tuned in yet? Well, Rocsi and Deion got time—so you might as well make some too.
Catch We Got Time Today now streaming on Tubi!
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I live in Atlanta and I have discovered a variety of free fitness activities that can help you burn calories, get in touch with your inner child, and maybe even make a new friend.
These activities range from roller-skating to Pilates to dancing. Check out a few of these places below:
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Thompson Hotel
Located in Atlanta’s posh Buckhead district, Thompson hotel offers complimentary yoga classes on Saturday and free Pilates classes on Sundays. Both classes are on the hotel’s rooftop, so you’ll get a good sweat while taking in the gorgeous views.
Atlanta Beltline
The Atlanta Beltline is a 22-mile path throughout the city that traverses trails, parks, and many neighborhoods. It recently announced its line-up of free fitness classes in different locations on the beltline. These classes encompass a diverse range of activities like tennis, roller-skating, Zumba, HIIT, and many more.
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Atlantic Station
Atlantic Station is also offering free fitness activities through its Wellness Wednesday program. Every Wednesday, you can explore various fitness class like dance, self-defense, bootcamp and more.
The Battery
The Battery, home of The Atlanta Braves stadium offers free yoga on Mondays as part of its Wellness Series.
Atlanta isn’t the only city that offers a range of free fitness classes. Make sure to check out your city’s social media pages or search TikTok or Google, and type in “free fitness classes in insert city.” Alternatively, join different Facebook groups that highlight events throughout the city.
Check these out and have fun.
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