Instead of searching the mall and online boutiques for hours on end, xoNecole has taken the liberty of compiling this list of effortlessly sexy date night outfit ideas, just for you.
I, for one, can admit that a lot of the go-to pieces have in my wardrobe have been "gone to" a few too many times, and I thought it was time to switch it up. To help me on my quest for the perfect threads, I've enlisted the help of Denver-based designer and professional stylist, Felicia Benevidez.
Felicia and I met up at a local restaurant called The Family Jones, where she gave me all the knowledge on how to wow my date without even trying. These styles can be easily recreated using staples in your closet and a whole lot of attitude. Let's get into these looks!
Look 1: A Little Black Dress With A Twist
Photo by Justine Henderson for xoNecole
Everyone has a little black dress in their closet, but Felicia shows us how to put the game down, flip it, and reverse it to create an entirely new look. For Valentine's Day, instead of rocking your usual, try adding jeans and accessories to your LBD to add flair and personality. Felicia told xoNecole:
"When all else fails, I feel like you can never go wrong with a little black dress. Creating layers by adding jeans and a sheer overlay automatically takes the look from classic to edgy. The iridescent purse, hoop earrings, and gold shoe adds the perfect final touch to complete my look for date night with bae!"
Look 2: Oversized Blazer & Button Down
Photo by Justine Henderson for xoNecole
Ladies, I have the answer to the age-old question women have debated about for years: Size does matter. I mean, when it comes to clothes, at least. Rocking at oversized blazer can set your outfit off in a way that is super unique and known to turn heads. Keep it sexy by wearing thigh-high socks or boots, and feel free to add shorts for a more conservative look. The designer shared:
"I don't know about you, but a blazer always makes me feel put together. To keep it sexy for date night, I added thigh high socks and an extended button up shirt. I finished this look with a black pump and a belt to create some structure and emphasize my waist."
Look 3: Jumpsuit & Booties
Photo by Justine Henderson for xoNecole
Nothing says effortlessly sexy like a jumpsuit and some booties. For some real fun, use some bold colors like Felicia did in this look! Your jumpsuit game has the potential to level up in a major way if you incorporate accessories and makeup that add a pop of color. According to Felicia, out of all the looks, this one is the easiest to pull off:
"A good jumpsuit makes getting dressed easy, when all you have to add are shoes and accessories! This limited jumpsuit comes from my clothing line VFM and is the perfect look for Valentine's Day! I added a pop of color by adding red booties, a matching purse, and don't forget the red lip."
Look 4: T-Shirt & Flared Pants
Photo by Justine Henderson for xoNecole
Who knew a wide-leg pant and a blazer could make a t-shirt look so damn classy? This style is easy to accomplish with any flared pant in your wardrobe, but you can go the extra mile by adding some edgy accessories. Felicia explained:
"This chic date night look consist of a pair of my favorite wide leg pants from my clothing line VFM. I paired them with a T-shirt and yellow blazer to add a pop of color. The leather gloves and platform shoe completes the look and adds the perfect amount of edge."
Look 5: Animal Print Meets Faux Fur
Photo by Justine Henderson for xoNecole
For women like me who enjoy feeling bad and bougie on a budget, this look is perfect. The best part about this look is, it's flexible and low-maintenance but still looks expensive and elegant. You can achieve this look by mixing any animal print with the faux fur accessory of your choice. Set your look off by adding the maxi skirt of your choice and you've just created the frugal outfit find of your dreams. Felicia shared:
"For this look, I based the outfit around a pleated maxi skirt. To accentuate the deep maroon color, I added a nude animal print turtleneck. Because I love to play with prints, I finished the look off with a cheetah print bootie and fur stole. Such an easy and great look for a night out on the town!"
Look 6: Bodysuit, Slacks & A Blazer
Photo by Justine Henderson for xoNecole
Grown and sexy takes on a whole new meaning when it comes to this look. Grab any piece of lingerie in your wardrobe and pair it with a pair of slacks and a blazer to turn into the seriously sultry seductress of your man's dreams. To give your fit a little something extra, add a shoe and lip to offer a bold pop of color. What's better is, this look is so effortlessly sexy, the only accessory you'll need is your smile. Felicia told me:
"When the goal is grown and sexy, a pantsuit is definitely my go-to. For the perfect date night look, I added a bodysuit and bright pump. My hair was the only accessory, and yes the bigger the better."
It's my hope that you can take these tips and be as sexy as you wanna be for your partner on this special holiday, no matter how you two decide to celebrate. This year, instead of harping over how you look, remember that no matter what you wear, your sexy comes effortlessly!
Thanks again to The Family Jones for letting us use your space to create magic! To find these pieces, check out A Vintage Frame of Mind's online boutique here.
Additional styling by Joce Blake. Makeup by Bree Klee.
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RELATED
Whether you're planning to meet a certain financial or fitness goal, or you're simply trying to maintain and build on the progress you made this year, having something to look forward to is always a good look. Setting actual goals, according to research, actually leads to more success than just playing things by ear. So here are a few to get you started, sis:
(Disclaimer: Not everything is for everyone, so do like my Granny always says: "Eat the meat. Spit out the bone." Take on five out of the 40 and focus on that for the remainder of the year, or do them all. Either way, this is just to get you started.)
40 Ways To End The Year Strong and Inspired
Money Moves
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1. Increase your retirement (or other savings/investment) contributions by 1%.
Experts have found that you could be leaving money on the table by not upping your contributions when you can.
2. Cancel two to five subscriptions.
You could be missing hundreds, even thousands, of dollars a year due to sneaky price hikes and "updates."
3. Create a "fun" in a high-yield savings account.
This is especially important if you struggle with the dreaded b-word (budget) and will make next year's efforts a lot less intimidating. Even if it's $10 a month, do it.
4. Put on your big-girl panties, and set up automatic transfers and payments for at least one bill.
It reduces the stress of managing bills, lessens the chance of a missed payment---and the fees that come with that---and there can be cost savings for doing so.
5. Invest in a cleaner or housekeeping service.
Bosses who value their time (and mental health) invest their dollars into areas where the time they'd spend doing those tasks themselves could be better used to focus on other money-making projects. (And yes, rest is part of that.) Get a housekeeper, sis, or drop off that laundry, even if it's once per month.
6. Donate to a charity.
Beyond the tax benefits, it's a win-win for the greater good of communities you care about.
7. Review your insurance policies and negotiate a better rate (or move on) before their end dates.
Experts often agree this is a small but mighty step to take each year, especially since insurance rates are competitive, you could be spending more money than you need to (or not enough) and your insurance rates can affect your mortgage payments.
8. Call your loan provider and refinance.
As interest rates fall, “millions of borrowers may be able to refinance and get more affordable payments. As interest rates eased down to 6.5%, about 2.5 million borrowers could already refinance and save at least 75 basis points (0.75%) on their interest rate,” the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau reports. You can also refinance student and other types of loans.
9. Stop buying individual items and stock up via going bulk.
Research has found that, among 30 common products, buying in bulk could save you 27% compared with buying in lower quantities. Water, paper products, and baby products like diapers, toiletries, and garbage bags are the top items where people see the most cost-effectiveness. (This has been a lifesaver for me—children, large family, or not—especially when it comes to toothpaste, deodorant, toilet paper, and feminine hygiene products, saving stress, time, and money.)
10. Go cash-only for the holidays.
If you set smart goals and stick to limits on things like gifts, going out to eat, or groceries, you'll see the benefits of this. Cash-stuffing is one method recommended, but something as simple as taking a $10 bill out for lunch, disabling that card for an hour, and leaving your card in a safe place at the office can give you that mindset jump start to see how far you can take your money without the need to splurge.
Love And Romance
11. Say "no."
There are clear mental and physical health benefits to saying no including the setting of healthy boundaries, creating time and energy for other self-care activities, and protecting yourself from physically harmful situations (i.e. unprotected sex or abuse). Just say it, clearly and simply, when you need to.
12. Set a fun, free, adults-only date night for once a week or twice a month with your spouse.
If busy, high-profile folk have touted the success of this, even you can make the time for quality time with your partner. And it's even better when it costs nothing. The best connections are made doing something chill, challenging, or outside the usual dinner-and-a-movie date. Play a game that allows you to reconnect, take a walk in your neighborhood to chat and laugh, or try a little erotic chocolate/edible liquid/paint episode a la Mea Culpa.
13. Go out with Mr. or Ms. "Not My Type."
I love my man, but if I were waiting out for my "type" at the time, we wouldn't be celebrating seven (going on eight) years together. Sometimes having strict, unrealistic expectations for a spouse (especially related to things like height, physical features, or career path) is what's keeping you alone and lonely.
Take the pressure off and explore all your options. I'm not telling you to stop popping the balloon on the guy who earns $20,000 less than you if that's a hard no that Jesus himself told you to skip. I'm asking you to explore other options and see what else God might have out there for your love journey.
14. Immediately apologize and pray together.
I've learned that always being "right" isn't always ideal when you truly care about someone and you're in a relationship for the long haul. Defaulting to an apology when necessary, even when things aren't 100% resolved, is a good way to prioritize peace and save your energy for more worthwhile battles. Research has even supported the benefits of apologies in relationships, and how couples married for five or more years do it often.
15. Get a Rose and discover true self-love.
Do I really have to explain this? You've gotta know what satisfies you, and how better to figure that out than to practice self-love in the bed by yourself? You can also try this with a partner, but as a woman who got on this train very much later in my sexual activity journey. I have a lot more learning to do on my own, and even in a satisfying relationship, I like to find out new things about myself, by myself.
Figure out what you're into, watch what you want to watch, and read what you want to read to define pleasure for yourself. There's a freedom and empowering element there especially if you're used to prioritizing pleasing your partner.
16. Be direct and have the "money talk" with bae.
Money issues are one of the leading causes of divorce, so you need to have those conversations before you even think about marrying someone. And true, nobody can predict the future so you won't be able to avoid some challenges altogether, however, talking with your potential spouse about how they view money, their spending habits, and the pain points in terms of their approach to money management can at least give you a glimpse into what's in store if you do walk down the aisle, move in with them, or decide to share a bank account/business/child with them.
17. Invest in the "paid" version of that dating app.
I know plenty of successful, married folk who did this and met "the one" as a result. Let's be honest: The free version is for playing around. I had a lot of fun with my "free" profile back in the day, trust me. Upgrade that photo, profile, and package, and see if the quality of your dating adventures changes when you're serious about finding a true partner. Dating coaches and matchmakers cosign this.
18. Solo travel to meet that long-distance connection.
Sometimes, your perfect match isn't within 100 miles of you, and that's okay. Make it an adventure, enjoy the memories, and book that ticket. I met my man this way and it's been a whirlwind escape ever since. If you're not comfortable traveling solo, travel or (network to plan travel) with a group via Facebook.
Career And Business
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19. Schedule coffee or virtual meetups with smart people from your graduating class, previous employer, or current employer.
I have gotten many freelance opportunities by doing this. It's as simple as connecting and offering value (or simply learning how you can better equip yourself to do so.) It's also a great way to expand your network, spark new friendships, or find out about new job opportunities.
20. Invest in a well-made suit.
I don't care what industry you're in, a suit says "power," and it's not as old-school or out-of-style as you'd think. Plus the whole experience of looking for a new one (or getting one tailored) is fun and affirming. Try these options. I swear, anytime I wear a blazer, I'm treated like a celebrity or boss, especially when traveling. I was once upgraded to first-class wearing a yellow blazer outfit, and the airline professional literally said, "You look like somebody important. Here you go."
21. Volunteer for a worthwhile project or cause that's important to your company.
If you're overworked and underappreciated, skip this one, but if you truly have the time, love what you do, and want to advance, this move is clutch. Volunteering for extra projects got me where I am today in media because I had foresight, and knew that was the only way at the time to leverage relationships, and I was able to challenge myself to learn skills that 20 years later are still bankable. That VP you can't get a meeting with will be at that gala your company is planning, so join that committee, sis.
22. Write down why you deserve a raise and ask for it in your next one-on-one.
Gather those receipts (ie sales increase numbers, KPIs met, deals closed, people acquired via recruitment, the impact of systems updates, or other tangible success metrics) and ask for that raise before the first or second-quarter budgets are being finalized.
23. Instead of quitting, write down your exit plan.
While revenge quitting is set to be a thing next year (and maybe you're among those who will be leading the trend), try the better boss move and quit with a real plan.
24. Start automatically separating that estimated self-employed quarterly tax estimate.
If you have side hustles (or you're collecting 1099 income,) baby, you do not want to neglect those quarter tax payments. Talk to a professional, do your research, and set up automatic transfers to an account specifically for paying these at the appropriate due dates.
25. Sign up for a free one- to 11-week course related to your industry—or the industry you want to be in next year.
Institutions like Harvard University and platforms like Coursera offer free courses that can enhance your skills. You can also invest in certificate courses with accredited colleges as well as tech training.
26. Hit "Easy Apply" for 10 dream jobs listed on LinkedIn.
While you shouldn't solely rely on this when actively job-seeking, using this convenient LinkedIn option is a great way to get into the habit of applying for positions. And if you're already employed, you should still be "dating" other employers if you're looking to make a move in the next six months. Keep your interview skills sharp, practice toughening up for the "nos," and get a bit of an ego boost in the process.
Self-Care And Wellness
27. Pre-schedule three month's worth of massages.
Oftentimes this is cost-effective since some spas offer deals for multiple bookings. Also, it makes an act of self-care deliberate and important, not an option. When you get that reminder call, you'll know it's real.
28. Fire that therapist and try another one.
Cultural competency in mental health support is one major problem that can hinder Black women from even bothering with therapy. And who wants the added stress of spending multiple, paid sessions explaining why something is a microaggression? Cut the cord and move on to try someone else, either via a Black women therapists channel or recommendations from others.
29. Join a small group at church.
Bedside service ain't gonna cut it and neither is going to the usual Sunday service. Join a smaller group and upgrade your efforts to connect, network, and elevate spiritually. Even if virtually, take a step to dig a bit deeper with more targeted Bible study and discussions.
30. Say no, even to loved ones.
This is on here twice, for a reason. Saying no is the simplest, most powerful micro-action you can take today to make 2025 better. No explanations. No guilt. Say no.
31. Choose one "luxury" beauty product for skincare and stick to it.
This was trending big on social, especially for millennials hitting their 40s. There's just something so freeing about not giving in to every trend and sticking to the basics that work, especially when there are quality, healthy ingredients involved. Put those orders on auto-renew.
32. Sign up for a new sport or fitness class just for fun, not for results.
It's great to be on a weight-loss or weight-lifting journey, but try something just for the fun of it. Switch things up with a couple of these fitness activities.
33. Book a staycation.
Leave the passport at home and explore a nearby community or another town in your state. There's so much enrichment in your own backyard right here in the U.S., and you don't even have to break the bank.
34. Pre-schedule your mammograms, Pap smear, and peri-menopause checkups for next year.
Take control of your health by pre-scheduling essential appointments like mammograms, Pap smears, and peri-menopause check-ups for 2025. Prioritizing these screenings early ensures you stay on top of your wellness and make time for self-care in the new year.
35. Cut off support of beauty and wellness professionals whose customer service is below standard.
This is another one that many Black women have been vocal about—from unrealistic pre-appointment requirements, to booking fees, to long waits, to unsavory in-salon experiences. Spot the red flags early, and just stop accommodating foolishness. Support salons or experienced stylists who are kind, have proper systems in place and value your time.
36. Schedule five to 10-minute moments of silence on your calendar.
Again, wellness is not optional, and if it's not on my calendar, it's not official. Sit quietly. Pray. Meditate. Or do nothing. The benefits of silent moments are almost endless.
37. Download a meditation app.
If you've found that meditation is difficult to schedule or to even start, an app can help. Try this, this, or this one, and take that step to embrace something new to enhance your wellness routine. If you're tired of downloading apps, create a playlist for meditation via Amazon Music or Spotify and schedule a reminder to do it once a day or week.
38. Invest in a healthy meal prep or delivery service.
Time is emotionally expensive, so save as much of it as possible. Getting into meal prep to keep to your goals is a great way to save time, stress, and effort. The health benefits of meal prepping have also been proven via research.
39. Create a positive playlist on Spotify, Amazon Music, YouTube, or other streaming platform.
It can be podcasts, music, affirmations, or somatic sounds. It's a game-changer. You can even set an alarm to wake you up to start your day with the positive playlist. Not into creating your own? There are plenty to choose from with a quick search.
40. Set up reminders for Alexa (Siri or other AI) to remind you, "You are loved," and "You are okay."
This simple effort can boost your endorphins and remind you that you're indeed, not alone, and you will be okay, regardless. To set mine up, I simply commanded, "Alexa, remind me everyday 'Jesus loves me,'" and like clockwork she does. She almost scared the ish out of me one day when I'd forgotten the reminder was active, but it was the reminder I needed when anxiety had gotten the best of me that week.
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The reality is, so long as you’ve got hair that’s coming out of your scalp (well, technically your hair follicles), your tresses are absolutely growing. At the same time, if not having the type of length retention that you’d like is your issue or you’ve hit what is known as a “growth plateau” that typically has to do with something else (other than genetics, although, that oftentimes plays a role in the speed of growth more than anything else). Something else like what?
Overmanipulating your hair via your styling practices. Applying too much heat. Using products that dry out your hair (including chemical relaxers and permanent hair dyes). Not making sure to baby those ends of yours.
And do you know what else can keep your hair “stuck” at the neck, shoulder, or even well past bra strap length? Not getting the proper nutrients in your system — because, indeed, no matter what you put on top of your hair, it’s ultimately not going to matter all that much if you’re not making sure that your body is receiving the proper nutrients that your tresses need…so that your hair can be strong and healthy from the inside out.
So, if you have had your hair at basically the same length since, chile who knows when, it’s time to take a moment to ponder if you’re getting enough of the following 10 nutrients into your system.
10 Nutrients for Hair Growth
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1. Vitamin B12
If you seem to feel tired and drained, no matter how much rest you get, or lately you can’t seem to remember or retain information, it could be a sign of a vitamin B12 deficiency. Know what else is: excessive hair shedding, weak hair follicles, and premature graying (check out “This Is How To Naturally Treat Premature Greying”). So, if you don’t currently take a multivitamin supplement, this is a good reminder to get one and to make sure that it provides you with around 2.4 micrograms of vitamin B12 per day. Your body, from head to toe, will thank you.
2. Biotin
One of the main reasons why you need some biotin (which is vitamin B7) in your body is because it helps to turn food into energy. Also, if you’re pregnant, it’s a very necessary nutrient for your ever-growing baby.
As far as your hair goes, biotin is beneficial because it can help to restore hair loss. And, since it also helps your system to create the protein keratin (and your hair is made up of mostly that), it can be beneficial as far as growing stronger hair (and nails) too. Personally, since I’ve incorporated this into my daily vitamin regimen, I’ve noticed a lot less hair in my detangling brush — significantly so.
3. Iron
You may have heard somewhere that we (Black people) deal with low iron in our blood more than white folks do — and while science is still trying to get down to the (pardon the pun) root of why, that is indeed the case. That said, something that I recently discovered is that even once someone is diagnosed with having low iron, over 60 percent of people continue to have it as much as three years later. This is alarming because, in order for your blood cells to be healthy, they need iron; there is no way around that.
And, the reason why all of this is relevant to this article is, when iron gives your cells the protein that they need, that can help to feed your hair follicles and prevent hair loss. In fact, a telling sign that you may be anemic (whether you know it or not) is if your hair is excessively shedding or you’re not seeing much growth progress as far as your tresses are concerned.
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4. Omega Fatty Acids
If you wanna take care of your heart, make your vision stronger, reduce bodily inflammation, decrease asthmatic-related symptoms in your children, and reduce feelings of depression and anxiety — these are just some of the reasons to get some omega fatty acids into your system. As a supreme bonus, your skin and hair will adore them because they help to reduce UV damage, can help to heal acne and yes, they’re even known for accelerating hair growth. Some health experts even say that omega fatty acids can make your hair strands thicker over time as well.
5. Foods High in Protein
Wanna lose weight? Consume more protein. Get your metabolism up? Consume more protein. Increase muscle mass? Consume more protein. Have hair that is thriving on every level? Yep, you’ve already guessed it: consume more freakin’ protein. Since your hair is made up of mostly protein (keratin), if you want to keep it in great shape, it makes all the sense in the world that you would need to incorporate (more) protein into your diet. Foods that are packed with protein include lamb, turkey, almonds, Greek yogurt, and quinoa (also check out “Vegetarian Or Vegan? Check Out These High Protein Foods.”).
6. Foods High in Vitamin E
If you want to reduce oxidative stress, strengthen your lungs, make your periods more manageable, reduce the fat that your liver collects, and/or deeply hydrate and soften your skin, you definitely need foods that contain vitamin E in your life. Some of those include salmon, red peppers, wheat germ oil (it’s got a ton!), almond oil, and avocados. Every time that you take in any of these things, you know that your tresses are happy; that’s because vitamin E also maintains scalp health, helps to prevent hair loss, and keeps your locks nice and shiny (from the inside out) too.
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7. Foods High in Vitamin C
The powerful antioxidants that are found in vitamin C are great for keeping your immune system strong. Vitamin C is also beneficial as far as helping to manage your blood pressure, helping to prevent anemia (by helping your body to process iron more effectively), and keeping your cells healthy overall. Since vitamin C, in pretty much every form, helps with the production of collagen, it’s also a nutrient that fights premature aging in your skin along with making your hair stronger and less prone to breakage.
8. Foods High in Zinc
A nutrient that strengthens and heals is zinc. The reason why I say that is because it can boost your immunity, treat acne, and speed up the healing process of (minor) ulcers. When it comes to what zinc can do for your hair, specifically, it helps to restore damaged hair follicles and it can help to prevent hair loss before it even happens. Foods high in zinc include red meat, pumpkin seeds, eggs, whole grains, and dark chocolate (so long as it has a high amount of cacao, which is a more unrefined type of cocoa, in it).
9. Foods High in Silica
What is silica? Basically, it’s a compound that is made up of both silicon and oxygen. The reason why you need it is because it helps with bone and joint health, it rebuilds collagen levels in your body, it can aid in balancing out your hormones and it’s great for cultivating glowing skin.
Your hair will thrive with the assistance of silica because it strengthens your hair follicles and reduces hair breakage which is always what you need to get over your hair growth plateaus. Foods that are a good source of silica include dark leafy greens, oats, melons, cucumbers, and even beer, chile.
10. Fruit-Infused Water
When you get a chance, please check out “10 Overlooked Signs That You're Dehydrated.” With over 75 percent of Americans continuing to be dehydrated, it’s important to know what indicates that you may be since you definitely need water in order to keep your system running at an optimal level. As far as your hair goes, when it’s not hydrated enough, your scalp can become dry and itchy, your hair can become brittle, your locks can lose volume and it’s definitely more vulnerable to split ends.
That said, y’all, I make it no secret that water tastes like wet air to me. Still, I know that I need it and so, the way that I get more of it into my body is by either drinking sparkling water (with some fruit juice in it) or making some fruit-infused water which is literally water with some fresh fruit (and/or veggies and/or herbs) added in. Fruit-infused water is dope because it can hydrate you and get you some extra nutrients at the same time. For some delicious recipes, go here, here and here.
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Hair growth plateaus? For most of us, it’s common. However, you don’t have to settle for them. Giving your hair some TLC, being super gentle with your ends, and taking all of what I just said, nutrient-wise, seriously — it can get you past having hair at the same length (which basically means that it’s breaking off about as fast as its growing) and into a totally new growth phase. It’s possible. Stay focused.
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