You've seen them—women who are completely about their business. And they are damn good at it, too. Some refer to them as bosses and others refer to them as Queens, but no matter what you call them, know that they didn't get where they are without hard work and determination. And their road to success always includes an intentional daily routine for healthy body and mind.
Mindfulness is essentially the ability to be aware and fully present of what you're doing and where you are. And because you are fully present, you aren't easily overwhelmed by what may be going on around you (i.e. a whole pandemic). So often we find ourselves becoming distracted, overwhelmed, and dare I say obsessed over what's going on around us or even what may occur in the future. This can lead to anxiety, getting off track, and eventually becoming stagnant which will without a doubt affect your ability to level up in your career. Practicing mindfulness or developing a mindfulness routine takes practice. It's both a mindset and a lifestyle.
I reached out to 5 successful career women who so graciously spilled the tea on their morning routines, intention-setting, and how practicing mindfulness has helped them in their careers. They even shared advice on things they do to stay present and in the moment. Take notes.
Amber Guyton: Interior Stylist, Home Decorator, Blogger
Photo Courtesy of Amber Guyton
Her Mindful Morning Routine:
"To be completely honest, I am not a morning person! Never have been, never will be, which makes disciplining myself in the morning even more important to set the tone for my day. First, I absolutely must make my bed. There's something about this small accomplishment—a tidy room and home—that keep my mind decluttered as well. Second, I meditate and pray. Even if only for 10 minutes, while sitting on the floor or standing in the shower, I take a moment to pause, thank God for another day and be present with the breath flowing through my lungs to remind myself that I am human and it's a blessing just to be alive and healthy.
"After indulging in my skincare routine, brushing my teeth, and getting dressed, I spend another few minutes brewing and sipping my coffee while listening to some music or a podcast. All of this is before I pick up my phone to scroll through Instagram or jump on my laptop to check emails. At some point, I'll work some exercise into this routine, but for right now, that's my morning. It's taken a lot of practice, and working from home without a commute can make one lazy, but doing each of these things before getting the workday started makes me feel energized and ready to conquer anything thrown at me."
Setting Her Intentions:
"If you don't set intentions for your day, your day has the ability to set its own course. The external world is not something that you can control, but when you focus on what is within your control, that sense of empowerment can fuel you to overcome any potential procrastination, dreadfulness and negativity."
"Setting positive intent for myself and my life has been my lifeline lately. I've been working from home for my full-time, product marketing career in fintech and my side hustle interior-design business in complete isolation for about nine months now. Without prayer, therapy, and a solid support system, I'd have gone bat-crazy by now! However, having these three things and setting clear intentions for myself daily, weekly, and monthly have kept me sane. There is no secret superpower or helpful trick. You just have to commit to doing so every single day."
The Role Mindfulness & Intention Have Played In Her Career:
Photo Courtesy of Amber Guyton
"The further I grow in my career, the more I realize that empathy, self-awareness, and other soft skills just aren't as common among adults and professionals as it should be. We are all human, make mistakes, and fall short. Being able to see your own faults and areas of improvement is truly a gift and one that everyone should embrace. When you're your worst critic, you never let up on yourself. Those impossible expectations you set for yourself daily, you also impose on everyone around you, and girl, that's not healthy.
"Give yourself grace and remember that you're only human. There, too, is value in your imperfections and weaknesses."
"This type of mindfulness, honesty, and vulnerability has made me a better friend, daughter, team leader, business owner and mentor. It's helped me grow up and be a better woman. Most of all, it's kept me from burning out, because delegation, taking breaks, and setting boundaries are not only a form of self-care, but they also enable you to fill the cups of others as your own overflows."
Her Intention Of The Moment:
"Interrupt anxiety with gratitude. It's so easy to allow depression, anxiety, worry, self-doubt, imposter syndrome, or any dose of negativity to disrupt your mood and shift your mindset and emotions. Whenever this happens to me (which is pretty often), I just remind myself of all the things I have to be grateful for. OK sure, this hiccup happened on a work project or your colleague isn't pulling his weight. But you love your job. You have a job. You are gainfully employed and the good outweighs the bad. Your ancestors would be so proud of all you have and all you've achieved. You are their wildest dream and that could only be possible here as you stand on their shoulders. You've had some hard days, but nothing is too hard for God.
"Don't allow this five-minute problem to ruin the next five hours of your day. Don't allow another human being to make you think less of your own soul. Concentrate on the positive so the temporary negativity won't consume you. There is always something to be grateful for."
For more of Amber, follow her on Instagram @blessedlittlebungalow.
Crystal Renee' Hayslett: Actress, Creative Director, Producer
Photo by Kayla Madonna of Madonna Studios
Courtesy of Crystal Renee' Hayslett
Her Mindful Morning Routine:
"Each morning, I make a conscious effort to take a moment to pray, meditate, and write in my 'I Am' journal. The front of the journal states, 'I am grateful. I am joyful. I am abundant. I am successful. I am worthy.' It's a constant reminder that whatever you say you are, it will begin to manifest in your life. Once I'm done, I get a good workout in, make breakfast, and it's time to get going!"
Her Intention Of The Moment:
"I like to set daily intentions since we are in a constant state of evolution and growth. My intention at the moment is to be more present. It's so easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life that you miss how beautiful your life really is."
The Importance Of Practicing Mindfulness:
"Practicing mindfulness helps you see things for what they are, and with that, you can have a much better handle on life. When you're mindful of others, you don't take things personally. You are able to show empathy and support, instead of taking everything personally.
"When you're mindful in life, you understand that everything happens for a reason and it's always for a greater good. There is so much peace in mindfulness."
The Role Mindfulness Has Played In Her Career:
"Whenever I feel overwhelmed, I take a moment to remember when I asked God to enlarge my territory. When I remember what I asked for, a sense of responsibility comes over me. I also find comfort in knowing that if my plate is feeling heavy, it's because He knows I can handle it."
For more of Crystal, follow her on Instagram @luvcrystalrenee.
Dr. Andrea Alexander: OBGYN
Photo courtesy of Dr. Andrea Alexander
Her Mindful Morning Routine:
"'You reap what you sow.' My mother drilled in my head growing up. This has transferred into almost every aspect of my life. I'm a Virgo, so I used to sow seeds of anxious planning and sleepless nights filled with busy work, so guess what I reaped? Days filled with anxiety and fatigue. For the past two to three years, I have made great efforts to start my day with peace and intentions of self-growth, and I have noticed a superior change in my mood and productivity level.
"I started praying twice a day. For the year of 2020, I made the new year resolution of praying once in the morning as soon as I wake up, and once at night before hitting the sack. I've noticed that I have become more grateful for the things I already have, less anxious in the morning, and more excited to start the day.
"What they say is true: When you look good, you feel good. So I stopped checking emails and rushing to take my dogs out as soon as I broke my sleep in the mornings. Taking care of yourself first in the morning is a form of self-care. Take care of your skin, do your hair, put on something cute to wear, put on your favorite perfume, and I promise you'll feel more excited to then be more productive. Your dogs and kids and those emails can wait five minutes."
"Exercise and stretching have been shown to decrease anxiety. Stretching to my favorite music, or something a little more relaxing, like classical music, and/or a quick ab workout in the morning add to my zen factor throughout the day. Release those endorphins and stress and you'll feel like a million bucks. I promise."
Setting Her Intentions:
Photo courtesy of Dr. Andrea Alexander
"For a good portion of my post-residency life, I have lived by the phrase, 'If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.' Intending to simply be mindful, is not enough. We must plan to act on it. I set daily intentions for myself. Because every new day is a chance to make another chance. Why wait a week or a month to make changes in your life? I'm a fan for setting out to better yourself daily.
"One way to accomplish daily intention-setting is asking to meet your goals and asking to be productive during morning prayer. Every time I have asked to be productive, I more often than not, have been. Ask and you shall receive. An organized and itemized to-do list also contributes to me meeting my intentions for the day. Let's face it, we all get busy, and we all forget things. Use technology to your advantage by making a to-do list on your phone, and keep it updated. You'll inevitably be carrying it around with you all day and this will be a reminder to be great and productive throughout the day.
"Speak positivity into the day as well. The tongue is powerful, and if you speak greatness and speak meeting your daily intentions and goals into existence, I promise you will."
The Role Mindfulness & Intention Have Played In Her Career:
"Listen, I don't want to brag, but there is a reason why I'm known as the doctor who stays calm during high-stress times. It's because I have taken it upon myself to implement that as above. When I was in residency, I was surrounded by a good number of negative people, some who didn't believe in me. (This feeling is inevitable as a black physician, unfortunately). It really messed with my self-confidence, and for a lack of better terms, I felt like shit. Getting into therapy after residency and practicing more self-care helped me to regain my confidence. I feel amazing now.
"Those around me trust my judgment because my decision isn't based off of a snappy emotional decision, but rather, it comes from a place of calm decision-making and self-confidence. This is why I say self-care is more than applying a face mask and lighting a scented candle. Actively going to therapy, praying, practicing gratefulness, and speaking positivity all changed my life from the inside-out. These are the most important ways to practice self-care.
"I stay present in the moment by reminding myself that I have the proper training to complete any task at hand. I also remind myself that I serve an amazing and powerful God who is capable of carrying me through even the scariest of situations."
For more of Andrea, follow her on Instagram @paging.dr.dre
Monique Doughty, BSN: RN, Self Love + Mindset Coach, Speaker, Entrepreneur
Photo courtesy of Monique Doughty
On Mindful Morning Routines:
"How we start our day drastically affects how we will feel throughout the day. Our feelings and emotions paint the picture of how we see reality, and creating positive feelings will improve the quality of your day."
"Check-in with yourself before checking in with the world. It's a natural response for us to grab our phones immediately upon waking up, check our emails, and check social media. Unfortunately, this pattern allows us to become disconnected from ourselves, our own feelings, and needs. Take a few moments to start your day, asking yourself: 'What would make today great?' Before responding or contacting anyone by phone, email, or social media, ask yourself: 'Am I open for business?' In my 6 Weeks to Self-Love Coaching program, all of my clients learn how to gracefully set boundaries with others and this starts with self-awareness of our own needs. By asking yourself, 'Am I open for business?' you are assessing yourself to know if you are ready to receive from others and to give to others.
"Honoring your own needs by sleeping a little longer, not responding to that work email just yet, or even deciding to put your phone on Do Not Disturb, improves mood, relationships, and overall wellness."
"Drink something warm! Warm water and lemon or lime in the morning jump-starts your metabolism and it makes you feel more energized. Warm drinks are nourishing and comforting. If you are into presentation, pour it up in your favorite mug and sip slowly. Talk to yourself and talk to God. If we want those we encounter to be kind to us, we must first start a kind conversation with ourselves. It takes strength to find compassion for yourself and having a higher power to trust in, will allow you to feel supported. Look yourself in the mirror and say: 'I am strong. I am loved. I am enough.'
"Be gentle with yourself. Some mornings you will fall off the routine you established, but love yourself back to your mindful practices instead of feeling guilty."
Setting Her Intentions:
"I set intentions for myself not at any particular moment or time frame but more so when I am approaching things that require great actions from me. In 2020, that can just be getting out of bed; it's been a challenging year, setting clear intentions has been my saving grace.
"Intentions are the thoughts that create the action and they really determine the outcome of a situation. Before I speak to a group of people, I set the intention to speak my truth and to spread light to others. I encourage your readers to set intentions for their relationships, workdays, and moments that they want to approach in their lives with grace."
The Role Mindfulness & Intention Have Played In Her Career:
"I redesigned my lifestyle and career to lead a more mindful life. I created freedom and flexibility. I worked as a critical-care nurse for eight years on the night shift. I did everything in my power to prepare myself for my work with critically ill people in various ICUs around the country. During my career as a nurse, I would take long periods of time off to travel and really pour into myself through spirituality and self-love practices. By allowing myself this time off, I realized that I really prefer to work remotely and the hospital was not the best place for me to help others. I now have a career that meets my lifestyle needs.
"Often, we believe that we have to fit our lives to our career, but to create a fulfilling life, we must create a career that meets our life."
For more of Monique, follow her on Instagram @iamnursemo.
Khat Brim: CEO & Co-owner of Hair AreUs, Beauty & Lifestyle Content Creator
Photo courtesy of Khat Brim
Her Mindful Morning Routine
"For me, having a mindful morning starts, number one, the night before. I like to create an intentional schedule by listing out my work commitments and my personal to-do list by its level of priority and importance. Once I know what to expect for the day ahead, I wake up with more enthusiasm and guidance to conquer the day. Second, practicing becoming an early riser is helping tremendously with my morning mindfulness. When I'm in the bed lights out before 10pm, I wake up feeling so refreshed and extremely energized, allowing me more time to enjoy a cup of tea, a morning meditation or workout and or just a few extra moments of quiet time instead of feeling so rushed out the door.
"I'm loving this practice as it's been keeping me full of gratitude and in tune with my higher purpose. It's a very soulful practice."
Setting Her Intentions:
"I try to make setting my intentions as a daily habit in everything I do. I truly feel like setting my intentions allows me to keep a clear understanding of what I intend to accomplish and feel, or how to be of service to others throughout my day-to-day life. Setting my intentions also keeps me aligned with my purpose and my reason why I'm doing what I'm doing."
Her Intention Of The Moment:
"The intentions I have for myself at the current moment is to be fully present in the now—meaning to be consciously present in the moment. Many times we are so detached to what is happening right under our noses or around us that we miss out on the present moment and seeing life's small gifts. There's so much power and enlightenment in learning this approach. I use the book, The Power of the Now by Eckhart Tolle, as a day-to-day guide for helping me find the importance of living in the present moment."
The Role Mindfulness & Intention Has Played In Her Life & Career:
"For me, practicing mindfulness in my personal life and career has honestly allowed me to have a more fluid mindset. It keeps me open to change, more calm, and an overall more peaceful person. These characteristics become very useful when life and career can become demanding. It allows me to stop myself in my tracks before becoming overwhelmed. It's almost like I can see anxiety and stress in slow motion, allowing me just enough time to be formless and adjust to its energy.
"One of my favorite quotes is by Bruce Lee: 'Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves. Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.'"
For more of Khat, follow her on Instagram @khatbrim & @hairareus.
Featured image courtesy of Monique Doughty
Originally published on November 16, 2020
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Erica Green is a Clinical Research Associate, blogger, and a sneakerhead. She has a love for all things women and she's pretty sure that women are God's greatest creation. Connect with her on Instagram @ erica_britt_ or www.lovethegspot.com
The Mecca Of Fashion: The Top Street Style Moments At Howard Homecoming
Outfits were planned, bags were packed, and cameras were ready to capture Howard University's collegiate spirit during its centennial Homecoming celebration. Not only does it hold the number one ranking as the most elite Historically Black College and University or its top performing academics, diversity of students and alumni, but the HBCU also leaves a legacy of style and grace.
The essence of effortless poise and refinement shines bright through the iconic university colors of indigo blue, red, and white. Every October, Howard University students, alumni, staff, and friends gather on the prestigious campus in Washington, D.C. to take part in time-honored traditions and events, which is Homecoming. This year's theme, “The Meccaverse,” was a week-long celebration of Howard University’s heritage, including the Homecoming football game and Bison Pep Rally, the Fashion Show, Greek Life Step Show, Homecoming Day of Service, Lavender Reception, and the iconic Yard Fest Concert.
As 2024 marked the 100th anniversary of the Howard Bison trek back to The Mecca and after two years of virtual events due to the COVID-19 pandemic, this was to be a celebration of a lifetime. We enlisted HU alumnus Sharmaine Harris, a luxury retail buyer, as she revisited her alma mater as eyes on the yard for fashion-forward outfits mixed with personal style and campus pride for the weeklong celebration.
Before we get to the looks, discover how attending Howard University impacted her career in fashion and her day-to-day style:
Credit: Sharmaine and Friends
xoNecole: Describe your personal style. Did attending Howard have any impact on developing it?
Sharmaine: Howard taught me that there’s no such thing as being TOO dressed. There’s always a reason to “put it on” and look presentable, even if it’s just for a day of classes. Standing out was celebrated and encouraged with my peers embracing the opportunity, giving me the confidence to try new styles and trends.
xoNecole: How did Howard shape your career as a luxury buyer?
Sharmaine: I studied Fashion Merchandising, through which I was fortunate to have professors who were very connected to the industry and able to give first-hand accounts of opportunities and what to expect post-college. I was also able to build a network through my peers and other Howard Alum, which has opened doors to endless possibilities both within fashion as well as daily life.
The same confidence instilled in me through my style has also been rooted deeply within me as I step into any role or project I’m faced with throughout my career.
xoNecole: This year marked Howard’s 100th-anniversary Homecoming celebration. Can you describe what the weekend looked and felt like?
Sharmaine: I’ve gone to many Howard Homecomings since graduating, but this year’s 100th anniversary felt like a huge family reunion filled with nothing but love. It was beautiful to see so many Bison return home looking great and radiating joy. It was beautiful!
xoNecole: What makes Howard fashion different from other HBCUs?
Sharmaine: Being that Howard is The Mecca, we have such a diverse population with each individual having their own spin on fashion. Getting dressed is second nature for us, but the layered confidence is our secret ingredient to make any look come together. Through that comfortability to push barriers, we have a legacy of setting trends, as indicated by the many alumni we have in the fashion and entertainment industry.
Keep scrolling for the top street style moments from The Mecca's Homecoming weekend:
Credit: Lacey Gallagher
Credit: Alan Henderson
Credit: JaLynn Davis
Credit: Dylan Davis
Credit: Caleb Smith
Credit: Kendall W.
Credit: Jordyn Finney
Credit: Vanessa Nneoma
Credit: Dr. Mariah Sankey-Thomas
Credit: Caleb MacBruce
Credit: Tiffany Battle
Credit: Teniola
Credit: Ilahi Creary
Credit: Nicolas Ryan Grant
Credit: Dylan Davis
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image courtesy of Sharmaine Harris
We Had A Strong Connection IRL But My Instagram Scared Him Away
If you scroll past anydating guru’s free advice, such as dating coach Anwar’s, they often promote a long-curated list of dos and don’ts, advising women on how to attract the ideal relationship.
“When men are looking at your pictures on social media or on dating apps, they’re making two assessments: one–affordability, and two–seriousness.” Dating coach Anwar said. He recommends women curate their pictures well by minimizing skin and avoiding posting too many traveling pictures which don’t represent your full life because men are trying to envision themselves in your life.
I certainly don’t believe in shrinking the essence of who I am just to bag a man –whether in-person or online– including for the one thing that brings me pure joy: my worldwide adventures. By now, it’s common knowledge that social media is only a shiny highlight reel that doesn’t take into account all aspects of real life.
I’m fortunate that the men I date in my late 30s are mature enough to understand that notion, but in the past, I’ve learned the hard way that many men are, in fact, judging women’s social media accounts to determine if they are a perfect match.
While trying to stay afloat in grad school, I managed a week-long promotional gig for a festival concert. I stumbled across a breathtakingly handsome guy engrossed in curating melodic sound production as an audio engineer.
Fine enough to giveBridgerton’s Regé-Jean Page a run for his money, this tall cutie had glistening caramel skin, big brown eyes, and a gorgeous smile that radiated across the conference center.
My heart practically stopped each time I glanced at him. I caught him conspicuously glancing my way throughout the day, too. Our energy was magnetic. I couldn’t let him get away without making it very apparent I was feeling him. Ten hours passed before we found ourselves drawing near one another. Dating co-workers is against my rules, however, dating someone I’ve met after completing a temporary gig was an exception I’d happily make.
Serotonin oozed throughout my body when he approached me. We engaged in meaningless talk, while I anticipated he’d ask for my number. Instead, he asked, “What’s your IG name?”
I’m old school; I want to get acquainted chatting on the phone until twilight–or on a well-executed romantic date. I accepted his request and followed him back. Baby steps.
Each time his adorable face popped into my mind, a rush of happiness flooded me. I’d already conducted a pre-check for a potential relationship, and based on absolutely nothing but chemistry, he had already passed. Scrolling through his page, I could see he had three, incredibly young children, from ages two to five. That’s okay, I can play step-mommy. Or so I thought.
The next morning, I swapped out my motivational morning gospel music for my vibey, R&B music. I floored the gas pedal, speeding to work in hopes of getting to the fine audio engineer as quickly as possible.
I sashayed through the conference doors with an extra sway in my hips–smitten and glowing as my bright eyes landed on him, standing by for sound check. He took one blistering look at me, and as time stood still, his scathing disapproval made me feel as though we were arch-enemies with unfinished business.
What happened in the less than twelve hours we met and were apart? I was flabbergasted by his bait-and-switch of emotions. The only culprit, I surmised: freaking Instagram.
A few hours of him ducking and diving to avoid me passed. I put my grown woman panties on and marched over to him. He pretended he couldn’t see me through the corner of his eye, but judging from the nervous stiffening of his erect posture and locked jaw–even through his discomfort, he would have to face me.
“Hey, how’s it going? You’re different today,” I said casually, yet resolute, peering deep into his wide eyes.
“Well, you know, it’s cause you’re big time. I’m just a regular guy.” He quipped. Completely confused, I stared blankly at him, waiting for an explanation.
“Your Instagram...” He confirmed like I had full knowledge of his insecurities.
“If I had seen your page before I met you, I would’ve never tried to talk to you. I’m not good enough for you.”
I melted into a puddle of vexation. I wasn’t a celebrity or social media star. Hell, I didn’t even have more than 5,000 followers! I’m a regular girl who’s had a career in entertainment which has afforded me many opportunities to attend swanky events; I love upscale travel and dining at Yelp’s highest-rated star restaurants–and yes, I relish capturing those delicious moments. But at that time, I was a broke girl in grad school, making a few coins on the same gig I’m certain he was earning a pretty penny for.
He’d already taken over my thoughts, feelings, and body’s desires in a short twenty-four hours. Though he was far from aware of all the ways he had swept me off my feet without stepping foot on an actual date, the energy between us was undeniable. I literally couldn’t stop thinking about him and grinning since the moment I saw him, and I know for sure he felt the same. And now he’s thinking he isn’t good enough for me?
He was fine, humble, funny, had a sexy physique, and a lucrative career, yet for some ridiculous reason he’d convinced himself he could never be with a woman like me? I was floored. Typically, I’m not forward with men in the initial stages of dating. It’s important I feel highly desired and sought after before I explode candidly. But the world was going to absolutely know that day: “I like you. You’re someone I’d like to get to know. And you’re absolutely perfect for me.”
He sighed and relaxed his shoulders. I felt empowered, quelling his feelings of inadequacy. (Or temporarily, I shall say). I’d soon learn that if a guy was harboring major insecurities, the idyllic lines to boost his ego are merely fleeting.
Pumped up on an extra dose of courage, later that day, he asked for my number. And I delightfully obliged.
We spent a good amount of time expressing our mutual feelings towards each other and perused through calendar dates to see when our schedules would match up. He lived in Las Vegas, but working as an audio engineer for major events necessitated him to spend most of his year traveling across the country and internationally. Still, I was determined to make it work.
And yet, it didn’t work. Despite my insanely busy grad schedule, I was ready to trek to Vegas or whichever country he visited, except his insecurities overflowed like putrefying lava. I probed to see how involved he was with his baby mama. Ya know, normal stuff. Somehow, he took that as a jab.
“You don’t want to date me because I have three kids, huh?” Again, he left me confused and exhausted because I was absolutely ready to become a bonus mommy to the right one.
Despite the endless times I cleared up what he thought was a problem, boom! another insecurity flared up. Coddling a mid-thirties man, who had thee lowest self-esteem I’d ever encountered was dooming.
A few months passed and winter had descended upon the Sundance Film Festival in Park City, Utah. I’d just left a snazzy art gallery Chiwetel Ejiofor hosted for his independent movie premiere. Park City is a magical and frosty cold, picturesque town in January. Most of the festival events are situated on densely packed Main Street. I stepped my leather boots outside onto the icy, uphill sidewalk, with a platonic male friend in tow. My phone rang–it was audio engineer bae. I noticed his name and pushed decline.
“You ignoring me now when you could’ve easily picked up the phone?”
What in the hell?! I peered around on both sides of my street, cautiously nervous.
I hopped into the black SUV. The festival traffic moves slower than molasses. You could gingerly walk down the street and still beat a moving car. As the driver slowly peeled away, I glanced to the opposite side of the art gallery street; there I saw old bae, forlornly staring at me, saddened with puppy eyes in his hooded Parka. I was busted. In my defense, however, I hadn’t heard from him in months, and us dating was certainly a never-ever-going-to-happen-closed case.
How was I supposed to know he’d been watching me from 150 feet away? No human in their right mind would expect an immediate answer, but he did.
“Hey, sorry, but it’s really hectic; I gotta hurry to this next event.” I apologized despite not owing him one. If he’d crossed my mind at any point up until now, it’d be futile. His recurring insecurities ate at him and thus, swallowed any attraction or potential traction for us.
By the time my plane landed in sunny Los Angeles, he unfriended me on IG. Exhausted from the nonsensical mental gymnastics, I unfollowed him, too.
Finally, we agreed: the feeling is mutual, boo.
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Featured image by Charles Olu-Alabi/Getty Images