Since the COVID-19 pandemic, this is the first week that I'm working from home with my six-year-old daughter. I've had the pleasure of a flexible working schedule for the last few years; she's had three days to learn Google Classroom and get acclimated to virtual learning.
Working from home is a great option. Working from home because you have to is OK. Working from home with kids can be difficult.
Without the proper infrastructure, there's a lot that can go wrong, from missed assignments to a lack of focus. Honestly, the uncertainty from all of the news websites doesn't help either. The internal unrest is enough to drive the sane insane.
So how am I coping? I'm not. Each day comes with its own set of challenges, and I'm doing my best to be present and intentional with my time. More importantly, finding ways to keep my daughter engaged and inspired in the absence of normality. I've decided the only way we're going to get through this is together. So, I'm committing more time towards mindfulness. Sure, it's still business as usual for most companies, including my own. But our attention is being pulled in many directions, making it impossible to work at full capacity.
Mindfulness is the basic human ability to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we're doing, and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what's going on around us. It can be activated through proven techniques, particularly seated, walking, standing, and moving meditation. When we're mindful, we reduce stress, enhance performance, gain insight and awareness through observing our mind, and increase our attention to others' well-being.
Mindfulness is not something you have to cultivate, it's already within you. It's that act of choosing to observe your breathing and your thoughts; to name them and experience them fully, and to practice non-attachment.
To participate in mindfulness is to engage in the act of refocusing the mind.
Mindfulness sparks innovation by leading us to effective responses to seemingly complicated problems. For instance, the challenges that come from working from home can be solved by working in increments. By implementing these work strategies, we can reduce stress and enhance our ability to perform.
Research has shown that mindfulness helps us reduce anxiety and depression. Mindfulness teaches us how to respond to stress with the awareness of what is happening in the present moment, rather than simply acting instinctively, unaware of what emotions or motives may be driving that decision.
Here are some other ways to cultivate mindfulness:
- Live in the moment
- Accept yourself and others
- Focus on your breathing
- Eat mindfully
- Walk mindfully
- Observe your breathing
- Connect with your senses
- Pause between actions
- Practice active listening
- Get lost in the flow of doing things you love
- Meditate daily
- Reduce the amount of news you read
- Embrace silence
If you're home with your child, I suggest adhering to a schedule and carving out time for deep breathing and meditation. Whether it be during the morning or after lunch, mindfulness can bring peace to your home. With limited playdates and fresh air, give your children the freedom to practice on their own. They may get frustrated during this period of social distancing, but this can have a calming effect.
As the governments work to flatten the curve, I'll continue to make my family's health and safety a number one priority. Mindfulness gives me the tools to manage my stress and remain agile. The silver lining in this whole situation is that I get to spend time with my baby. Watching her adapt to this new lifestyle is inspiring; kids are so resilient. She asked me if there would be school on Saturday and Sunday since they're working remotely, I responded, "No." She instantly smiled and said, "Great 'cause I need a break." We all do, baby.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
Everything You Need To Know About Coronavirus
Powerful Mantras & Meditation Techniques For Mindful Mamas
4 Ways To Stay Sane When You Work From Home
Cultivating Mindfulness: The Best Meditation Practices For Your Zodiac Sign
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RELATED
Taja, an actress known most for her role on BET’s The Oval, and businessman/model Ryan Easter tied the knot on July 27 in an intimate and beautiful wedding in LA - surrounded by friends and family. During our 40+ minute conversation, the newlyweds opened up about the inner work journey they both went through individually to become their best selves.
Taja revealed that her grateful and light spirit came after being in a depressive state and doing a great deal of healing and education. And Ryan shared how losing a parent as a youth affected how he showed up in the world and the truths he had to face to embrace who he is wholly.
The pair also chatted about the power of intention, the importance of working through trauma, and the work they do every day to honor their partnership. There’s a reason their glow is so beautiful! It comes from the inside.
“You're meeting me now after I've done all this work, but I had to go through it to get to that space and be in a very happy, healed relationship,” Taja says. Check out the layered conversation below.
xoNecole: I’ll start with the most obvious question: how did you two meet, and what were your initial feelings about each other?
Ryan Easter: We connected through friends. At the time, I was in New York, and she was back and forth between LA and Atlanta. But our mutual female friends were together and decided they needed to set me up. So they confirmed I was looking for something serious and then sent me her picture.
And I was like, "Okay, she looks good - a chocolate drop." But then I thought, "What's wrong with her? So, I called them up, and one of them was messing with me and said, "Oh, she's a little crazy." I was like, "Whoa, I can't do crazy anymore. I've dealt with that before. I’d rather stay by myself than deal with that again." Then she clarified, "No, I'm just kidding. She's crazy in a good way. She's a lot of fun and has her stuff together. That’s how it started for me.
Taja Simpson: I was just going about my life, getting ready for another season of The Oval, when I got a text from my friend Natasha. She said, "Hey, I don't think you're dating anybody, but I have a friend I think you should meet. He's a great guy." She gave me this huge pedigree, saying they had been friends for 19 years. I thought, "Wow, he sounds amazing." But when she sent me a photo, I didn’t like it.
Later, I thought about it and figured it could just not be a good picture. So she sent his Instagram which had all these modeling fitness pictures and stuff. And then I was like, wow - you had my whole husband this time and didn’t tell me - now I told her she could give him my number.
"I was just going about my life, getting ready for another season of The Oval, when I got a text from my friend Natasha. She said, "Hey, I don't think you're dating anybody, but I have a friend I think you should meet. He's a great guy." She gave me this huge pedigree, saying they had been friends for 19 years. I thought, "Wow, he sounds amazing." But when she sent me a photo, I didn’t like it."
Taja Simpson & Ryan Easter
Photo by @jorgemezaphotos
xoN: I love that because, you know, there's all these conversations about the ways people meet, and I still feel like friends and family are one of the best ways. It’s like they know you! What are your thoughts?
Ryan: Yeah, absolutely! You feel a great sense of obligation to be the best version of yourself because you’re not just representing yourself; you’re also representing the person who referred you. I can’t go out there acting like a fool and have them looking at their friend like, "Why did you hook me up with this clown?" It’s like, we're gonna be clear and honest about our intentions. And if it works, great, and if it doesn't, it's okay.
Taja: Exactly. When he called, we spoke that day for like, an hour. The rest was history. We just connected, and it was great. After that, we started talking every day, and now here we are.
xoN: Okay, so tell me about your first date! Do you remember where you went? What did you do? How was the vibe?
Taja: Our first in-person date was two months after we met over the phone. This was during COVID, so we got introduced in July 2020 but didn’t meet until September. From July to September, we were doing video dates and phone calls, building up this excitement about meeting in person. I was really nervous. I thought, "Oh my God, is it going to be like it was over the phone?" We really connected and vibed. I was there to pick him up at LAX, and I felt like this was it. I thought, "God put this brother in my life to be this good, this perfect." It felt too good to be true.
I actually had a friend meet us at the airport to film our meeting without him knowing. I told her to stay in the corner and keep the camera hidden. When he was coming down the escalator, I had this whole plan to run up to him in slow motion and jump into his arms. When I saw him, I froze. I was so nervous that I couldn’t move! He came up to me, gave me a big hug, and swung me around, and I just thought, "Wow!" Everything I planned went out the window.
Ryan: I was really excited to meet her, too. Technically, our first date was at Firestone Brewery. After the airport, we went back to her place to drop off my stuff, and then she said, "I like to drink beer," so she took me to a brewery nearby.
I remember being there, and we were kind of embracing, but not too much since it was technically the first time we were in physical proximity. You still have to play it cool, even after talking for a while. But every time I touched her, it felt good. I thought, "Yeah, this is it." When we hugged at the airport, I felt like, "Yo, this is home." At that moment, I knew she was the one.
xoN: Ugh, I love that. So when did the courtship start to develop into a relationship? Did y'all have that conversation?
Ryan: Initially, we were very clear about our intentions. We were both dating with purpose and had similar aspirations of eventually finding someone to marry, start a family, create businesses together, and live our lives to the fullest. We knew from the beginning that this was our goal and checked in with each other to see if we were on the same page.
After establishing our intentions, it was about having those small conversations. We discussed what was important to each of us—our needs, wants, likes, dislikes, triggers, and traumas. All those details are crucial for building a solid foundation for a healthy relationship. We spent a lot of time getting to know the real person, not just the representative we might present to the world.
Sometimes, it’s difficult because it requires us to be extremely vulnerable. For men, especially in our society, vulnerability is often frowned upon, making it hard to expose that sensitive side. You never know how people will react—some might use it against you, while others might protect you.
I think for her; it took her understanding that mentality that men have and use that to her advantage to make sure she's like, look, this is a safe space for you to allow me to see the full person that you are. I appreciated that because, like, I would tell her, if you really want a man to value you, he has to feel safe with you, right, not necessarily in a physical capacity but more so from an emotional standpoint; I need to feel like I can be safe with you emotionally.
So that courtship was a lot of just having those serious, sometimes difficult conversations about things we're going through in the past to things we aspire to accomplish in the future, to things that we're currently dealing with, and started to gain that understanding about who we are and what we aspire to be, and just continue to flow.
"So that courtship was a lot of just having those serious, sometimes difficult conversations about things we're going through in the past to things we aspire to accomplish in the future, to things that we're currently dealing with, and started to gain that understanding about who we are and what we aspire to be, and just continue to flow."
Taja: I mean, that's exactly right, and a lot of it we spoke about even before we met. Because it was this free thing where we didn’t know each other. We didn't have to be a representative. I was just my authentic self. It’s like - I'm an actor, and I got five or six characters that may come out in our conversation. I'll be funny, then the next moment, I'll be serious. It just happens.
I was very vocal about how I foresee my life going. Also, because I'm in entertainment, that played a part. I had met people before who couldn't handle that. They wanted a woman with a nine-to-five, a teacher, or just somebody with a very strict schedule. But that wasn't me. So I think we were super intentional when it came to dating and making sure we can build and grow together. So, we made that commitment prior to him leaving. He came to LA for a week, and the day before he left, it was like, okay, so this is it.
xoN: I’ve noticed that intention and vulnerability are both powerful words that you two keep using, which I think is essential for any long-term relationship. What are some of your other shared values?
Ryan: Also, we both understood the power of mindset. When you see successful or unsuccessful people, sometimes others will attribute their state to their family or money. And I'm not saying that that doesn't help. But there are a lot of people who have come from very humble beginnings and very troubled past that have gone on to do great things, and it all had to do with their mindset. They had to leave and see themselves doing what they desired to do before it became a reality in the physical realm.
I think a lot of those beliefs and mentalities that we shared was refreshing because, you know, we've all known people that every time you talk to them, something bad is going on. And it's such a drag because they can bring your energy down. We don't subscribe to that. Not saying that we don't go through tough times. But when we do, the question that we always ask ourselves is, what is it that I'm supposed to learn from this? I think those type of elements of just being in alignment mentally about how we view the world definitely help to solidify our relationship and our connection.
Taja: When we met, I was in a headspace of growth. We now call it believe, evolve, become because you have to believe that thing right in order to show up. We both understand that your vibration precedes your manifestation, so you have to vibrate and believe at a certain level. Act as if you have to be in that space, that energy, in order for that thing to come so you can evolve and then become whatever that said thing is. But I was in that headspace before we met, and I was clearing out people in my life.
I was really intentional with finding someone that was in that headspace, too. I was not okay with anyone being stagnant.
Taja Simpson & Ryan Easter
Photo by @jorgemezaphotos
xoN: You two seem so evolved individually and collectively. I'm curious, were there any challenges that you two had to get through together, and what did you learn from that experience?
Ryan: Being parents. And if your partner doesn't have a great pregnancy, then it can be tough, and it stretches you in a lot of ways. But I would definitely say the first five months of being new parents was a lot because we were both exhausted. And she's also trying to heal her body because giving birth puts a tremendous amount of stress on the woman's body. It gives you a different respect for the strength of femininity because I wouldn't want to go through that. And I was there the whole 29 hours.
So during that time I'm getting snappy because I need to rest. I have not been able to rest, and I'm sleep-deprived, and I don't feel like I got my foot in yet. And, and then, on top of that, you have this, this really small human that's completely dependent upon you. They can't do anything for himself, and that, even psychologically, that's a lot to carry. But the thing that I think that has helped us is that we understand that we won't always be on the same page. It's okay to have disagreements, but you always have to lead with love, meaning that if I'm upset with her or she's upset with me, we focus on what the issue is.
Taja: I had a horrible pregnancy and was still feeling like I want to be productive; it’s just part of who I am. And during the newborn phase, like he said, we were exhausted. We were zombies. I'm getting whiny. I need sleep. He's getting snappy and short, and we're having to figure out us. The hardest thing is trying to still learn how to effectively communicate in the midst of this space where you are exhausted; you don't feel good, nothing's going your way.
But I'm a big believer of being accountable, especially for women, because women are not always accountable. But we encourage each other to address the trauma and encourage positive self-thought and talk. Because what you think, speak, and do creates power for better and worse.
xoN: Were there any past traumas you had to heal from in order to love each other correctly, and do you feel comfortable discussing them?
Ryan: For me, the biggest thing was my father’s death at nine. You’re young, and you don’t know how to process the loss. It’s one of those things I thought I dealt with, but when I got into my adult years, I realized it didn’t. I always felt like I had to go above and beyond because I didn’t have my father there to be a man - I excelled in sports and academics, but it was based on an inadequate feeling.
I understand the importance of fathers in children’s life but you still have the power to be the best version of yourself whether your father is there or not. And I believe the almighty Creator will put people in your life to be the best version of yourself. I wanted to be that confident person for her and our children - and I didn’t want to carry that trauma into our relationship or our son. So I worked on it before us and I continue to now.
Taja: Mine was colorism. I grew up where the brown paper bag thing was a thing. There were kids I couldn’t play with because “I was too Black.” I had a family member who called me “Ew.” Like she’d literally say, come here, Ew, you ugly thing. And my family, for a long time, didn’t realize how it was breaking me. But eventually, my mom noticed and taught me more about self-esteem and then I started to do the work. But it still shows its head. I still would have thoughts that I’m not good enough because of how I look. I’ve literally not tried out for roles because of that. One of my friends’ friends has literally called out once that I was the only dark person at an event.
So when I started doing the work, I noticed the ways it showed up, like I just wouldn’t want to be in the sun long. I mean when I was younger, I used to pray to God to make me “better” or lighter. It took a long time to really get over that. There’s a book I wrote called Women Who Shine - where I got my thoughts out about this.
So he knows my sensitive spots and speaks to the little girl in me. It's so interesting how the things we go through when we’re young affect us in adulthood. Mental health is as important as physical health - and I’m grateful that he understands the importance of both of those.
xoN: Thank you for your vulnerability. I hope it helps someone else. Finally, I’ll close with this: what’s your favorite thing about each other?
Ryan: Definitely her mindset. She doesn’t have a victim mindset; she’s empowered. That’s so attractive. I believe that she prides herself on being a good, great communicator. She moves with integrity, you know, I think that's important. And you know, she also understands the importance of taking care of her physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing.
Taja: There’s so many. Where do I start? My husband is supremely supportive. I absolutely love that about him. Also, I love his intention. I love how effectively he communicates. I love how he fathers our child. I love how he looks. Because, praise God. Okay, I'm just gonna put that out there.
But you know what, my favorite thing about him is that I love that he's a man of integrity.
Integrity was the highest things on my list when I’d write out what I wanted in a partner. Because it’s everything. And so I love that I feel the level of safety that I feel with him, that I can completely be my 100% authentic self. I know that he's taking care of me, my heart, and our family. We're good.
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Feature image by @jorgemezaphotos
While the city is often labeled a bachelorette destination because it really is a lit place to host one, it offers so much more than just that.
Even just a weekend in the city is enough to experience a lot of what Nashville offers. Most people associate Nashville with traditional country music, but Nashville holds a deep connection to Black artists who also helped shape its music scene, contributing to genres like gospel, soul, and country. There are opportunities throughout the city to take a walk down memory lane and learn the history of how music expanded and changed the city. Nashville is also underrated for being a foodie city, even though it boasts some delicious local favorites like smoking BBQ and hot chicken.
Nashville is the type of city that can be great for a more chill solo trip or a turned-up girls' trip. This guide will showcase all the places to visit and things to do in Nashville that are Black girl-friendly. From museums to rooftops to must-eat restaurants, you’ll be able to plan the perfect trip to Music City.
Where to Stay in Nashville:
Hyatt Centric Downtown Nashville
Courtesy of the Hyatt Centric Downtown Nashville
The Hyatt Centric Downtown Nashville, newly opened in 2021, is a contemporary hotel that places you right in the heart of the action. I loved staying here because it was within walking distance of Broadway and a lot of other popular attractions, so I had less of a need for a car or taxis. The rooms were chic and modern, and the floor-to-ceiling windows offered views of the city skyline. Some of the larger suites are perfect for families or groups, and I loved that they include record players complete with a selection of music to fit your taste.
The hotel boasts a rooftop pool and bar, as well as an on-site restaurant called Ella’s, which emphasizes locally sourced ingredients. After a long day of exploring, it was nice to have a food option right in the hotel so that I could go from dinner to my pajamas in a matter of minutes. Plus, its prime location makes it easy to access major music venues, vibrant nightlife, and diverse dining options, ensuring a well-rounded Nashville experience. When you stay here, you have to try the housemade mozzarella sticks or salmon piccata at Ella’s. Absolutely delicious!
Hutton Hotel
The Hutton Hotel is another great option for anyone looking for a cozy stay that has a lot to offer. Located in the West End, the hotel was recently upgraded, and the interior gives off a blend of comfort and sophistication. The hotel has its own music venue, Analog, which hosted an R&B show while I was there and gave off sexy speakeasy vibes.
Throughout the year, they have a calendar full of other live performances and events available for both guests of the hotels and non-guests. This is a great option for anyone who doesn’t want to be directly in the mix of Broadway and Downtown, but still within a reasonable distance to the fun.
Where to Eat & Drink in Nashville
1. Hattie B’s Hot Chicken
No trip to Nashville is complete without a trip to Hattie B’s to indulge in a local staple, Hot Chicken. This popular eatery serves up crispy fried chicken in the form of wings, tenders, and sandwiches, with varying levels of heat, from mild to "shut the cluck up!" Hot Chicken’s origin in Nashville has a funny backstory that can be traced back to the 1930s when it was created as a way to spice up fried chicken for a jilted lover.
Today, Hattie B’s not only celebrates this local tradition but also highlights the contributions of Black women like Chef B, who helped put Hot Chicken on the map. Outside of chicken, Hattie B’s also serves up sides like mac n cheese, dirty fries, and fried pickles. No matter what else is on the agenda, it’s a must-try experience that encapsulates Nashville's culinary spirit.
2. Pancake Pantry
For the best start to your day, head to Pancake Pantry for a breakfast that will leave you full and satisfied. They have locations in both Downtown and Hillsboro Village, but the quality of food is consistent across locations. Famous for its fluffy pancakes that are made from scratch every morning, there’s no wonder a line wraps around the block every day.
During my visit, I tried their classic pancakes with some candied bacon on the side, and it was worth the wait. If pancakes aren’t your thing, they have a well-balanced menu with offerings for everyone, including kids.
3. The Cupcake Collection
There’s always room for dessert, which means a stop at The Cupcake Collection, a Black-owned bakery that specializes in gourmet cupcakes and other treats. Founded by a mother who turned her passion into a business, this shop features a rotating selection of flavors made with love and quality ingredients.
From classic vanilla to unique creations like sweet potato and peach cobbler, grab a couple of different ones to satisfy your sweet tooth. The sweet potato cupcake came highly recommended and was likely the best cupcake I’ve ever had in my life. You don’t want to skip this place!
4. Suite Twelve25
No trip of mine is complete without a stop for brunch and mimosas, and Suite Twelve25 brought not only good food but the vibes as well. This is definitely the kinda spot that you go to with the girls to start off Sunday Funday correctly. They have a menu that features brunch faves like chicken and waffles, shrimp and grits, and breakfast tacos.
A DJ spins tunes throughout, and we heard everything from hip-hop to reggae to R&B throwbacks. The inside is Instagrammable so come dressed to impress for the content. And if you really want to get the party started, opt for one of their mimosa towers and get ready to turn up Nashville style!
5. White Limozeen
Nashville has the rooftop game on lock, and White Limozeen is an absolute must-visit for everyone. Located on top of The Graduate by Hilton Nashville, this Dolly Parton-themed rooftop is a whole vibe. The aesthetic and decor are largely pink, giving it a stylish and quirky feel. You can go to enjoy a meal or just pop up to the rooftop for drinks and a view. They have unique and girly cocktails to try out, and the champagne Jell-O shots are too cute to pass up.
There’s limited outdoor seating, so a reservation is a must. Before you leave, make sure that you get a picture with the large Dolly Parton head figurine.
Things to Do in Nashville
1. National Museum of African American Music
The National Museum of African American Music is a must-see for anyone interested in the rich musical legacy of African Americans. This museum showcases the profound impact of Black artists across various genres, including jazz, blues, R&B, and hip-hop. It was inspiring to see the trajectory of the relationship between Black people and music across time and genres. I learned a lot about prominent figures in music that I was unfamiliar with, as well as the history of some of the musical icons that we all know.
This is an interactive museum, so expect exhibits and engaging storytelling, but also opportunities to create your own music beats and even practice recording in a pretend studio. It’s an enlightening experience that highlights the cultural contributions of Black musicians and their influence on the music we love today.
Courtesy of Robin D. Thomas
2. Nearest Green Distillery
A visit to the Uncle Nearest Distillery is essential for whiskey enthusiasts. This is located outside of Nashville, in Shelbyville, but is 100% worth the drive. This historic distillery pays tribute to Nearest Green, the first known African-American master distiller, who taught Jack Daniel the art of whiskey-making. It was inspiring to learn about the legacy of Mr. Green, who was born into slavery, especially considering the barriers in an industry that was largely unwelcoming to Black individuals.
The distillery offers guided tours that delve into Green's life and contributions, educating guests about the historical significance of Black distillers in America and also curated tastings so that visitors can sample their award-winning spirits. If you get hungry, on-site is a BBQ spot that has the most amazing brisket grilled cheese and collard greens, plus some other BBQ favorites. Also on the property is the Humble Baron, a bar that currently holds the Guinness World Record for being the longest-continuous bar in the world. It boasts a 514-foot-long bar and also has live music at certain times.
3. Hit Up Broadway
No visit to Nashville is complete without experiencing the lively atmosphere of Broadway’s honky-tonk bars. This iconic strip is home to numerous bars featuring live music, dancing, and vibrant nightlife. This is where you’ll see all the bachelorette parties and even locals just looking to have a fun night out.
The street is typically closed to traffic, so at night, you can stroll down the strip, popping in and out of different bars and taking in the true Nashville music scene. With each bar offering a different vibe, it’s the perfect way to immerse yourself in Nashville's renowned music scene.
4. Live Music at Historic Venues
Nashville’s music scene is legendary, and experiencing live music at some of its historic venues really encapsulates the full Nashville experience. Some of the most well-known venues include Ryman Auditorium and the Grand Ole Opry, but throughout the city, you can also catch shows at smaller spaces. No matter what genre is your favorite, you’re likely to be able to find a show that fits your interests. These venues not only offer great music but also rich histories that tell the story of Nashville’s musical evolution.
Nashville’s blend of rich history, culture, and culinary delights makes it a fantastic destination for those looking to explore somewhere new. Once known as mostly a party city, Nashville has been expanding and rebranding as a place that offers so much more. There’s so much you can do during a solo adventure or a curated girls' trip.
Whether you’re sipping whiskey at Uncle Nearest or indulging in delicious hot chicken, there’s something for everyone to enjoy in Music City.
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