Here’s How To Make Cooking A Meal Together Sexy (When You Hate To Cook)
I don't care if you've been with someone for several weeks or many years, if there's one thing that should be made a top priority for the entire duration of the relationship, it's both individuals, being extremely intentional, about keeping the romance alive. One way to do that is to cook together.
So, what if you hate to cook? So much, in fact, that there isn't one single thing that you find to be even remotely attractive or appealing (let alone romantic or sexy) about doing it? That's where today's article comes in. Whether you want to save money, stay in for a weekend and/or come up with a quality time date that is both healthy as well as seductive, I've got 10 tips that can make spending a little time in the kitchen hotter (and easier) than it's been in a really long time.
1. Go Grocery Shopping Together
I know I might be the rare one here to be saying this but I'm actually someone who enjoys grocery shopping. A part of the reason why is because I actually like to cook. Plus, for some reason, I'm able to get some deep thinking accomplished as I'm strolling from aisle to aisle. Yet even if you're someone who kinda loathes the idea of going to your local grocery store, something that can make it more bearable is to take your partner along with you sometimes.
There are a few benefits that come with doing this. One, you both can get what you want (rather than relying on each other to get what each of you truly desires). Two, it's an effective way for both of you to stick to a budget (which means, one less financial conversation that will need to be had). Three, look at it as a quality time date and a way for you to plan a sexy meal together. I'm telling you, shopping with your boo can be more fun than you might think. Try it before totally shooting the idea down.
2. Cultivate Some Ambiance
Once you get home and all of the groceries are put away, make sure that you create the right kind of atmosphere to make a dinner for two. Turn off your phones and the television. Light some scented soy candles (soy candles burn cleaner and last longer). Play some R&B music or load up your favorite playlist (just make sure that it's sexy and/or romantic). If your blinds or curtains are open, close 'em (I'll explain why in a bit). Pull out a bottle of your favorite wine. Light one up too, if that's your thing (check out "7 Proven Ways Weed Makes Sex So Much Better").
Sometimes, what makes people hate the thought of cooking is it seems more like a chore than a fun activity. By cultivating a chill environment, it can take some of the stress out on the front end which can make it so much more of a pleasurable experience on the back end.
3. Go All Out on the Décor
Question. When's the last time you pulled out your really good dishes? Your fine china or the plates that you totally fell in love with; you know, the ones that you can count on one hand that you've eaten off of. Cooking and dining with your man is as special of an occasion as any, so make sure to pull those out. While you're at it, don't forget about some champagne flutes, a pretty centerpiece for your dinner table (Taste of Home has some cute DIY ideas that you can check out here), some rose petals for the floor around your table and a linen or lace tablecloth.
When you're not eating food on paper plates while sitting on the couch and instead, you're taking things up a few notches even in your dinnertime approach, that can get you all excited about preparing a meal together too.
4. Wear Very Little
Now let's talk about the two of you. While sometimes, dressing to the nines is what the occasion calls for, this time, how about wearing as little as possible instead? I've shared before that several men have told me that while lingerie is definitely appreciated when sex is about to transpire, what they really like is when a woman is in a teddy, baby doll, corset, body stocking or matching bra and panty set — just because.
He can pick out what he'd like to see you in as you do the same for him. Watching each other cook and then eat in your favorite alluring wear can be a visual aphrodisiac all on its own (it also explains why I recommended closing your window treatments).
5. Cook Together
Cooking together can be very romantic; erotic even (as you'll see by the time you finish reading all of this). Plus, there are plenty of articles to support the fact that it's a great way to spend quality time with your partner; it helps to create positive and lasting memories; it helps the both of you to get back to enjoying the simpler things in life; it helps the two of you to sharpen your cooking skills and, it can actually de-stress you both because it gives the two of you the opportunity to discuss things — things that you may not have time for any other way.
6. Keep Things Simple
Even if all of this sounds great but you're reading this like, "OK. But that doesn't change the fact that I still hate to cook," I totally hear you. The idea is to keep your menu simple. Lobster Mac and Cheese. Scalloped Portobello Mushrooms. Eggplant Parmesan. Baked Pineapple Salmon. Chicken Curry. 15-Minute Jacket Sweet Potatoes. Herb and Garlic Cauliflower Orecchiette. Ravioli with Creamy Mushrooms and Asparagus. Thai-Style Peanut Chicken Wraps. Mustard-Crusted Lamb.
All of these are dishes (that I hyperlinked the recipes too; you're welcome) that may seem like they'll take all day to prepare but are actually pretty easy to make (even if you're an amateur) and are in quantities for two. When you realize that not everything requires blood, sweat and tears, it can make you feel better about making meals from scratch.
7. Make Fruit the Appetizer
If you and your partner want to truly impress yourselves, your sexy menu needs to consist of an appetizer and a dessert. And since, if all goes well, the dessert may be something that you don't have to cook at all (if you know what I mean), go with a fruit appetizer. It's sweet. It's refreshing. And it's typically light, so that you're not too weighed down for, umm, dessert later.
Maybe some Strawberry Cheesecake Bites. A Mexican Fruit Salad. A bowl of Frosted Grapes. Some Fruit Salsa with Cinnamon Chips. Or some Lemon Whip Fruit Dip.
8. Experiment with Condiments
After you've enjoyed your appetizer and the meal that you planned, it's now time to pull out some condiments because guess what? Technically, the cooking is now over and again, once you review the recipes that I shared with you, you'll see that it really wasn't as much work as you probably anticipated (especially since you're only doing half of the work because you've got your partner in the kitchen with you).
And just what are the condiments gonna be for? I'll let your imagination run wild with this one. What I will say is if you check out "12 'Sex Condiments' That Can Make Coitus Even More...Delicious", you might be surprised how many condiments are sexy AF. Straight up.
9. Come Up with Some “Special Rewards”
Although I do enjoy cooking, depending on what I'm making, sometimes prepping the ingredients can get on my nerves. Don't even get me on clean-up.
So, if it's not so much that you hate cooking altogether, it's just that there are certain parts of it that you and/or yours can do without, come up with some sort of rewards incentive that will keep the both of you engaged. It could be deep kiss in between bites of chocolate-covered strawberries for every task that's completed or something checked off of y'all's sex list (check out "This Is How To Create The Best Kind Of 'Sex Bucket List'") if one of you agrees to do something that you loathe (like maybe peeling veggies or putting dishes away).
When there's an incentive to do something, that always makes it easier to do and more worthwhile.
10. BE THE DESSERT
By definition, dessert is defined as being something sweet that is served up after the final course of the meal. You know, men find it sexy when a woman can cook. Women find it sexy when a man can cook too. Since you and your boo watched each other do it, there's already been some mental foreplay that's gone down. Now it's just time to take all of that sexual stimuli into the bedroom (or stay in the kitchen, if you please).
If you want some tips on how to make that extra special too, check out "15 Simple-Yet-Kinda-Buck Items To Take Sex To Another Level", "15 Sex Hacks To Take Your Bedroom Action To The Next Level", "12 Absolutely Bomb Sex Techniques To Try Tonight", "So, This Is How To Make Shower Sex So Much Better", "What In The World Is 'Prostate Milking'? And Chile, How Do You Do It?" and "How To Have Mind-Blowing Multiple Orgasms. Tonight, Chile."
All of them can help you and yours end the night off with things being extra sweet. So sweet that you'll want to repeat all of this sooner than later. Promise.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
A Cosmic Guide To Love In 2025: What The Stars Have In Store For Your Heart
The most important lesson we are learning about love in 2025 is change. Many major Astrological transits are happening this year, and these will last for years to come. As we walk through this new year, we are being asked to let go of the things we can’t control, and give more grace to the things we can. This is a year of a new perspective on love, finding gratitude in the little things, and watching as the universe supports us and the dreams we build for ourselves here.
At the beginning of the year, we are being shown how significant 2025 will be for love. From March 1, 2025, until April 12, 2025, Venus, the planet of love and relationships, will be retrograde. Venus goes retrograde approximately every 18 months and hasn’t been retrograde since the Summer of 2023. With love taking a step back at the beginning of the year, we move through a time of understanding the emotional world better and letting go of trying to control outcomes here.
What Does 2025 Have in Store for Love?
It’s time to refocus your relationship priorities overall, and with this retrograde happening in both Aries and Pisces, Aries being the first sign of the zodiac and Pisces being the last; there is a chapter we are closing and a new one we are walking into.
Another significant factor that is influencing relationships this year, is Jupiter’s entry into Cancer. Jupiter brings blessings, abundance, luck, and expansion, and in water sign Cancer, brings these gifts to your emotions. Cancer rules emotional safety, foundations, close loved ones, family, support, and emotional well-being, and with Jupiter in this sign from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026, we experience blessings in stability within love. This is a good year for building stronger foundations in love, aligning with those who are loyal and supportive, knowing what you need emotionally, and being a lot clearer on it.
Letting Go of the Past: The Astrological Theme of 2025
Overall, the guideline for the year when it comes to love is to focus on the bigger picture and let things work themselves out without forcing them to. Magic will come in for you this year when you can assess your needs and wants, let go of illusions or smoke and mirrors, and focus on the things you want for yourself rather than what you don’t. Your focus and beliefs on love are the priority right now, and things will be coming full circle for the better.
Read below to see your personal 2025 love forecast. Read for your sun, moon, and rising signs.
What Does Your Zodiac Sign Say About Your 2025 Love Life?
ARIES
2025 is one of the more significant years for you, Aries. A lot of the major transits are happening in your sign, which includes Venus retrograde in Aries at the beginning of the year, Neptune in Aries from March 2025 until 2039, and Saturn in Aries from May 2025 until 2028. Not to mention, Chiron, the wounded healer is currently in your sign until 2027.
What this means for you when it comes to love, is that you have learned a lot about where you want to be here, and it’s the year to implement more of these tools and knowledge of the heart.
This year for love is about honoring your integrity and what you need personally to thrive in life and creating that space to let it in. You need someone who will be there for you through whatever you are experiencing in life and not someone who adds to these challenges. This year is a time of rising above, and choosing better for yourself.
TAURUS
2025 for you when it comes to love, is all about perspective and taking better care of your heart, Taurus. Uranus, the planet of change, rebellion, progress, and upheaval, has been in your sign since 2019, and this year you get a break from all of the surprises. From Jul. 7, 2025, until Nov. 7, 2025, Uranus leaves your sign and enters Gemini, giving your mind and your heart some time to breathe.
This year you are being given the opportunity to see things for what they are, rather than what you fear them to be. You are able to see your relationship dynamics clearer, allowing you to feel more confident in what you are building and creating for yourself in this area of your life. What you are working on this year is letting go of overthinking, and allowing things to play out the way they are meant to in love.
GEMINI
This year you are feeling in balance when it comes to love, Gemini. Relationships are important to you in life overall, as you are a relationship-oriented sign, but it can be difficult at times to keep the balance and perspective here. This year, with lucky Jupiter in your sign until June, you have the opportunity to be blessed with some fortunate circumstances personally and within romance.
You are feeling yourself this year, and this is attracting you success and new opportunities within love.
Uranus will also be in your sign this year from Jul. 7 until Nov. 7, and some surprises are in store for you. Pay attention to what happens in your love life during this period, as similar themes will be coming back around for you when Uranus officially enters its Gemini transit from 2026 - 2032. Overall, this year is about balancing what’s coming and going in love, and finding your peace within your inner confidence for it all.
CANCER
2025 for you, Cancer, is about stability in love. You are growing emotionally from the ground up, and are feeling a sense of support, confidence, romance, and receptivity in your love life this year. You are one of the lucky signs of 2025, and this is due to Jupiter, the planet of blessings, entering your sign from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026. While Jupiter is in your sign, your life expands and you are able to see the gifts of your world that may have been harder to come by previously.
This is a year of spending more time with your loved ones and feeling more heard and supported emotionally. Safety and security are especially important to you this year, and you are only entertaining the people who feel that way about you and provide that. Many Cancers will be expanding their families this year or developing a long-term relationship, and overall this is a year of feeling stronger when it comes to love.
LEO
When it comes to love this year for you, Leo, it’s about trusting your intuition and listening more to what your heart is telling you. There are not many major transits happening in Leo in 2025, which means there is a lot of room to grow, but you may be feeling a lack of support or encouragement to do so. A lot of Leos are taking a step back to look at where they are currently in love, and yearning for some change and a new direction here.
Neptune will be in your 9th house of adventure for most of this year, and you are being asked to get inspired and do things differently, but don’t take unnecessary risks in love that may not serve you in the long run.
It can be easy to get lost in the fantasy of love rather than the actual reality you’ll live in here, and taking more time to understand yourself, your relationships, and the dynamics in your love life will be necessary. Overall, your heart is healing this year and you are moving away from the past and creating your new future.
VIRGO
This year when it comes to love, you are going through changes that are aligning you closer to your goals and dreams here, Virgo. You are focused on making things work that you want to see bloom, and also letting go of putting effort into people that aren’t reciprocating the same energy. With the North Node entering your sister sign Pisces and the South Node moving into your sign from Jan. 11, 2025, until Jul. 26, 2026, you are doing a lot of letting go over the next year.
However, with the North Node being in your 7th house of love, new doors and gifts are also opening up for you and your partnerships. The more you can let go of perfection and overworking your mind and your heart, the more blessings you will experience when it comes to love this year. In 2025, you also have two Eclipses in your sign, and there are overall a lot of changes Virgos are moving through this year. Your main guidance for love is to stand by the things that serve your heart and release yourself from what burdens it.
LIBRA
Love is coming to fruition for you this year, Libra. You have been through a lot in your personal life these past few years, and walking into 2025, you are ready for some positive change. This is a year of feeling in balance with your personal goals and dreams, and what you are experiencing romantically and financially as well. Relationship dynamics are serving you and your sense of abundance, and many gifts are coming your way in love this year.
With Neptune, Chiron, and Saturn all being in your 7th house of love, your love life and partnerships are the main focus for you in 2025.
You are moving through changes, overcoming previous obstacles, and bringing back the dreamy energy here. With Chiron in the 7th, you are still doing some healing of the heart, but with Neptune now entering, it all feels a little more romantic and spiritual at the same time. This year is about believing in the impossible in love, taking care of yourself, and allowing someone else to take care of you as well.
SCORPIO
This year is all about opportunity when it comes to love, Scorpio. You have your eyes on the prize and are focused on what you want for yourself, but also how you want to show up for love as well. You have goals and intentions that you are setting for your love life this year, and a lot of them reflect the passion and strength you are feeling as you enter the year. Vesta is in your sign this year until September, and you have a spark within you that is a magnet for success and love. You are walking forward confidently and are feeling inspired, sexy, and magical this year.
This is a very sensual and powerful year for you, and this energy is being reflected in the relationship experiences you are having. Jupiter also enters your 9th house of adventure halfway through the year, and there is something special about the trips you are taking and the risks you are taking in love. Overall, this is a year of doing things your way and attracting love to you through your inner confidence and charisma.
SAGITTARIUS
This is a beautiful year of feeling balanced and abundant in love, Sagittarius. There is a lot of energy coming in and you are giving a lot of love as well. This sense of synergy you are feeling within your love life this year has a lot to do with Juno, the asteroid of soulmates, in your sign from Feb. 19 - Apr. 15. Your people are coming in and you have options this year, Sag.
This is a year of feeling loved for the inspiring, outgoing, and unique being you are, and meeting more people who match your energy.
Saturn also enters your 5th house of romance this year, and you are learning a lot through your experiences with others. You are learning how to be more confident in who you are and what you want for yourself and also recognizing the importance of making more time for fun and playful experiences. This is the year to see love as a more light-hearted experience and to not take yourself too seriously.
CAPRICORN
You are letting things come to you when it comes to love this year, Capricorn. You are feeling beautiful, capable, and worthy, and you are receiving the gifts that come from this sense of confidence and patience. This past year, you were setting a lot of new goals for yourself and your relationships, and in 2025, you are experiencing the results of these efforts.
Jupiter moves into your sister sign Cancer from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026, and enters your 7th house of love, partnerships, romance, marriage, and harmony. Your love life and experience of it all are expanding this year, and benevolent Jupiter is sending blessings to this area of your life. This is a year of things coming full circle for you in love, and you feel less confused about it all and more sure of yourself and what is becoming for you here.
AQUARIUS
Love is a highlight for you this year, Aquarius. You are coming together with another, and many Aquarius’ will be forming new relationships or growing within a strong relationship. You are experiencing the fruition of your dreams in love, and are also able to heal and let go of past emotional experiences that have been overwhelming for you in the past.
The North Node enters your 12th house of closure this year, and you are motivated towards change, cleaning house, and releasing the cobwebs of the past.
You are walking into new emotional experiences with less baggage and self-doubt, and are experiencing a fresh start in love. This is a year of asking for what you need emotionally and receiving it. Love is coming in for you in harmonious and magical ways, and you are rewriting your story in love in 2025.
PISCES
You are moving through a lot of changes when it comes to love in 2025, Pisces. This is a year of closure, healing, and giving yourself a fresh start, and the way you enter the year will be a lot different than the way you end it. The North Node of Destiny enters your sign this year, and the South Node of Karma enters your 7th house of love. So, a lot of your focus this year is on your personal goals and path, and there may be some neglect or lack of focus on your relationships.
This can create some discord with those close to you, and your guidance for this year is to try to balance the personal successes and wins you are experiencing, with the love changes that also need your attention right now. Know that what leaves your life this year is being replaced by something better, and also know that your healing doesn’t need to have a timeline and you can take as much time as you need to grow. Overall, you are turning a new page in love in 2025.
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Here's What The Anti-Work Movement Looks Like For Black Women
It's a new year but many are facing the same challenges they did in 2024, especially when it comes to employment. National unemployment during the third quarter of last year stood at 6.5 percent, and the highest rates, specific to location, being in Washington, D.C. (10.1 percent) and Kentucky (10.9%). And while this might seem like yet another report of gloom and doom when it comes to jobs for Black folk (I mean, what's new?), we acknowledge but we don't dwell over here.
Plus, if you've found yourself hitting major walls in the job search misadventures, sometimes it's best to take a pause and consider embracing a more radical approach that's less about action and more about inaction. Here's where the anti-work movement comes in. But what does this look like for Black women who literally need that coin to pay bills, take care of their children, splurge on that international trip, or reinvest in a side hustle? Let's get into it.
What Is the Anti-Work Movement?
Back in 2021, Black women led during the Great Resignation, and the Anti-Work Movement also gained steam, with more than 800,000 Reddit users "contemplating unemployment for all, not just the rich," according to Forbes. By 2023, the BBC reports, subscribers contributing to (or at least silently interested in) the conversation increased to 1.7 million.
The whole premise of the Anti-Work Movement centers on redefining what a healthy work environment really looks like. It's about taking companies to task about how well professionals are compensated for their gifts, time, and talents (or not), and to advocate for ways to make money that don't involve giving your blood, sweat, tears, and survival to a company for pennies on the dollar.
With the anti-work movement, there's also a sense of community where people can actually find others who relate to their struggles, who are offering solutions for a better way of working and living, and are calling out companies and managers who accommodate toxic work cultures and systems.
How The Anti-Work Movement Impacts Black Women
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With the anti-work movement, there's a sense of fighting for quality versus quantity, prioritizing self-care and balance, and fighting against exploitation, imbalance, and greed. For Black women, this can be essential, vital, and life-saving.
"I am only able to have a life-giving rest practice because I have boundaries that center my divinity. I don’t attach my worth to my accomplishments, to-do list or career," writes Tricia Hershey, founder of the Nap Ministry, an activism and community organization that promotes the liberating benefits of rest, recently wrote on her website. "I truly never have and I’m so grateful for this feat. Even when I was unemployed, I knew deep down I was enough and my life was worth so much. It’s as if capitalism, white supremacy, and patriarchy had not hooked its beast-like tentacles into my being. I had escaped."
And while the Nap Ministry centers on rest advocacy and not on avoiding work altogether, it presents the perfect example of how a shift in strategy and thought process—especially when it comes to the stress and anxiety associated with a high-powered, high-paying job or a very frustrating job search—can totally change your life for the better.
Hershey's insights on unemployment (and the success evidence of her platform to the tune of more than 555,000 Instagram followers, in-demand speaking opportunities, and recent book release) prove that you, too, can survive releasing the stress and reevaluating your why in order to find peace and get your sanity back.
In her research, “You Won’t Break My Soul: Black Women’s Contemporary Anti-Work Philosophies and Post-Work Experiences,” Dr. Sharla Berry, a Southern California scholar and lecturer, explores how Black women are considering and testing out contemporary anti-work philosophies and making shifts that challenge “collective action and policy” and moves toward “individual responses to the problems of work.”
When asked last year about her interest in exploring the topic of anti-work, she indicated that the curiosity was sparked by something she could relate to. “I was doing some research, I guess, to support how I was already feeling and how so many Black people were feeling which is this idea that work is not working for us,” Berry said during a July 2024 interview with Blacktivism In The Academy podcast.
“I think what’s important about anti-work is that it doesn’t necessarily mean that you don’t work,” she continued. “We still live in a capitalistic society, so not working, for many, may not be accessible or practical, though increasingly Black people are to make it, so, and we can talk about that. I think the larger idea is a stance, it’s a way of thinking critically about work, it’s a way of resisting the supremacy of work in your life, it’s an approach to organizing and collaborating around resisting work, and it's a way of thinking about how you lead and the role you take on as a boss, a manager, in your own head and in others’.”
The Unique Ways Black Women Can Embrace Anti-Work Philosophy
For Black women, the foundational concepts of the Anti-Work Movement (and the subsequent self-discovery and self-exploration that can be inspired by it) present its own set of empowering enlightenment, and a rethinking of the return on investment of your grind. (And of course, there are double-edge-sword-like challenges, since we still face workplace discrimination, unequal pay, disproportionate numbers related to serving as head of household (or breadwinner), and oh, there's that disparity of white and socioeconomic privilege related to having limits on our choices when it comes to when, where and how we earn our money.)
There are ways we can empower ourselves by simply considering the different ways of thinking about how we approach work, job seeking, and placing value on how we spend our time. Here's how:
1. Rethink your ultimate overall "why" and how work feeds that "why."
This is especially important during a job search where you're not getting callbacks or you're being offered low-quality experiences for low or inadequate pay. I've experienced this, especially as a self-employed freelancer, and I've walked away from opportunities simply because I'd outgrown them and wanted more, even when I didn't have a Plan B. I just wouldn't settle for other offers to do the same work for the same pay.
I've always enjoyed pouring into others and I find joy in being able to sleep peacefully at night knowing I've made a real, tangible, measurable difference. I like being known for leadership and being visible (and openly rewarded both verbally and financially) for my impact on a company or a team.
I began to think about my bottom line, which wasn't being able to afford designer clothes or a five-bedroom house, but doing work that makes my soul smile while, at the same time, being able to afford to pay affordable basic bills, buy a few dozen new books and art every month, and enjoy the priceless elements of life like friendship, fellowship, and enriching travel experiences.
Consider taking a detour from that hyper-focus on your current industry and work a retail, remote, or gig job. Put some pressure on that side hustle and get it going. Those actions might be the better move than sending that 100th resume for that corporate marketing job.
Sometimes embracing an anti-work approach means downsizing, selling everything and moving to another city or country, finding other ways to finance lodging (ie becoming a resident assistant, live-in nurse, or joining the Peace Corps), or finally monetizing that YouTube channel that's been collecting digital dust. It might be tapping into your artistic side, applying for grants, or unapologetically going hard polyworking until you reach your sabbatical fund goal.
2. Slowly give less power to being booked and busy, and more power to self-reflection and service.
Service opportunities can put you in rooms that might have been closed to you as a random, faceless job seeker. Many CEOs, hiring managers, and executives give of their time and money to various causes, so any time you can set $50-$200 to buy a ticket to a gala or fundraiser, or you can volunteer (for free) for major causes for civic organizations, educational institutions or churches, do it.
Find people you can network with, carpool to save costs and ask for help. The anti-work movement also includes a huge component dependent on community-building and human engagement (as activism always does), so get out of that LinkedIn inbox and out in those volunteer streets.
At one time, when I was in between clients and the bills were piling up, I decided to stop with the follow-up emails and find out how I could use my talents pro bono through Taproot Foundation. I ended up connecting with a savvy nonprofit founder serving youth in Jamaica and helped the organization redevelop elements of its branding and messaging. It was a big boost to my confidence after weeks of nos and no responses and reminded me that there is always light at the end of the tunnel. I was also, shortly after the project ended, able to add to my portfolio for a job I landed.
3. Release the pressure of worrying about what others might think and really lean deeply into your calling through alternative exploration.
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When you're forced to be creative and innovative, it's a great opportunity to see what you're truly made of and free yourself from the leash that is public (or family) approval. Many of us grow up being told that when you're not working you're "lazy," "unaccomplished," or "not winning," and there's this unnecessary shame attached to it for those of us who are accomplished, smart ambitious professionals simply going through the motions of real life.
Whenever I'd find myself unemployed--whether I quit or was let go---I'd hear my Granny's judgmental (but lovingly concerned) voice in my head saying, "How you lose a good job like that?" Sometimes that "good job" is a detriment to our physical and mental health or it can be the one thing that's hindering us from doing what we're truly on Earth to do simply because we're scared of the scorn and shame of quitting. And we have every right to outgrow a role or industry.
Taking some time off of that job search, finding ways to maximize your savings, investments, and other financial support resources, and radically rethinking your approach to making money can definitely help to strengthen your sense of self, your skills, and your ability to overcome anything life throws your way.
Listen, I've worked call center jobs, did DoorDash (where dogs all but attacked me for a huge trough of chicken on a back country road), and even lived off of a severance check for a while with no effort to look for a job at times when I decided to fully release and allow God to do His thing.
Each experience taught me something deeply profound about self-reliance and independence. They reinforced that I am a slave to no job, rejection email, client contract, outstanding bill, or title. I can do all things, as God intended, and I can live fully and abundantly regardless of an economy or unemployment rate.
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